Gino Romano, a simple business owner who entrusted his daughter and his business deals into the hands of my father and thought he was set for life. However, when my mother was murdered, my father denied my grandfather any more business offers and soon made sure that if he ever came near us again it would jeopardize our own safety – he never knew the truth. My grandfather never knew how his daughter died and had always assumed a malicious source outside of the family threatened his beloved grandchild. He was led to think it was due to him and the dodgy deals he had made before my mother met my father that were the root cause.
“Lovely service you had for my grandson,” he speaks, disgruntled isn’t even close to the way he speaks. “Shame it came well ahead of his time.”
My father becomes agitated, putting his hands up as if to not take the blame. His defenses are growing ten feet at a time. “Manuel’s untimely demise is not one of my doing.”
“Of course not,” my grandfather scoffs. “Much like my daughter’s death you mean?” he asks and laughs at my father, mocking him yet again – much to my father’s dismay. “I know exactly what you did to Tori,” my grandfather remarks. “And I know I will not rest until you’ve felt the same emptiness I have for the past eight years, Salvatore.”
“Are you threatening me?” my father asks, baffled that a man step up to him like this.
“I believe I am,” my grandfather quips, a smile on his lips. “Mark my words; I have used the abandonment you offered me well. I know all about you and your transgressions, shall we say. You thought my grandson dying was going to rock your world, you haven’t seen the finale just yet.”
What’s a funeral without impending doom?
***
There are crowds gathered just outside the door, but we’ve clustered ourselves in a room away from the hubbub. Enzo wanted to talk plans, Bruno agreed, and Carlo wanted to be able to say we were leaving this house soon. Allana was adamant that she and Bruno would find room for us all, but we all kindly declined. As much as I wanted to leave this house and never look back, I knew I would never burden my brother with our decision to leave the only home that was always ours to come back to.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but waking up in the hospital and learning about Manuel strengthened it.” I take a steadying breath, gearing my nerves to tell them what I’ve been thinking of. “I want out,” I say, unable to give eye contact for the moment. I register the silence and then look up. “I can’t live here anymore. Not with how many memories there are now.”
“I’m surprised you lasted this long,” Bruno remarks, sitting opposite me. “This house has just been a cesspit for bad blood.”
“Now it’s completely tarnished,” I utter, feeling guilty for feeling this sudden rush to pack up and run. “I’ve been looking up places to get to as a quick escape. I want nothing more than to leave really.”
“Can you not wait for all us?” Enzo asks, somewhat brokenly. “None of us want to be here, so we should all look for somewhere together and leave together. Stick together.”
“And how long will that take, Enzo?” I ask, snappier than I had liked. “How long will it take in order to get out of this because before it wasn’t happening quickly.”
“It’s simpler now,” Enzo replies soberly.
“This isn’t simpler,” I mock, laughing. I’m tired, upset, and still reeling from Alessandra’s sudden reappearance. I know I need to tell Enzo, but the possibilities they could offer one another is undoubtedly the greatest loss. While I question what my damaged future with Zane could be like, I see my brother’s with clarity. Uncertainty clouds what I have to offer Zane, but Enzo has everything and he’s wasting it. When I notice just how quiet the room has fallen as a result of my retort, I close my eyes, regret fluttering into every cell of me. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, rubbing my forehead. “I just want to get away from everything. I don’t care about anything but getting out. I just want to start fresh, get away and start everything again.”
I get out and leave, preparing to dodge the masses of people here for the final memorial to Manuel’s memory. With a heavy heart, I know my words are selfish and callous and I’ve done more damage than I ever could have.
“What about me?” Zane asks, chasing me out. “Amelia... what about me?” he questions again, chasing my every step.
“Leave it, Zane!” I say, turning around fiercely. “I can’t do this with you right now!”
My aggressive nature stills Zane before me and he stands just before me, a wide enough gap for me not to feel suffocated. I’m debilitated by the throb of grief I’ve allowed to shroud me throughout the day. I thought I could cope with today, with the closure it would allow, but all it’s enabled is for me to look ahead at the future – the grim, potentially barren one. I can’t have everything I want in this life, but I can get out of the hell that lives among these bricks and mortar.
“I just can’t do this anymore,” I mutter, my voice drowning itself out.
“What are you saying?” Zane dares to ask.
I don’t skip a beat to reply. “I don’t know.”