CHAPTER 19
We spend Friday morning lying in bed at my brother’s house talking. Well Sean talks, I listen as he tells me about the huge success that the band has had, the places he’s been, the people that he’s met. He tells me about the warehouse him and Marley have bought in the old docklands area of East London and with the help of my Dad’s firm, they have had converted into eight luxury apartments. Sean and Marls now share the penthouse on the top floor, complete with a roof garden. He tells me how he’s back in contact with his Dad and they now seem to have a pretty good relationship; he does ask me about my life and my work but oddly enough, he already knows everything that there is to tell. It would seem that we’ve handled our separation in the exact opposite way to each other, where I shut everything out and wanted no reminder of anything to do with Sean or his life, he has sort out every piece of information that he can about me. He knows about my work and how successful we’ve been, he knows about the countries I’ve visited, he even knows that I finally got to own my dream car and then says something really strange.
“You have no idea how hard it was to find one in that colour, I knew you wouldn’t settle…” he trails off.
“How do you know what colour my car is?”
“You always said you wanted it burnt orange and black, ever since we saw that one down the Kings Road years ago, remember?”
“Yeah, but how do you know that’s what I’ve got? What did you mean about it took ages to find one that colour.”
“I bought you the car.”
“What?”
“I bought you the car, alright?”
“But, how, why? I don’t understand.”
“You were what, thirteen, fourteen when we first saw that car and you told me that was the car you wanted. I swore back then, that if the band… if we were doing okay and I had the money, then I’d buy you that car, I never said anything, I never told you, in case I couldn’t afford it.”
He looks up at me, we are naked, his head in my lap, my fingers are raking through his hair, exactly the way I used to, we are, exactly the way we were and yet, so entirely different…
“Jim told me you had passed your test and were driving around in a Beamer your Dad had given you and I just knew that you’d be hating it. Then Jim said that Frank was looking for some old car for you and was having trouble finding it.” He looks away for a second, as if debating something.
“Then she told me that your Dad wasn’t really looking too hard because he didn’t think an old car was safe, he wanted you to have something German or a Land Rover or something similar.” He shrugs his shoulders. “So I found your car, that disgusting colour you wanted, the soft top and the tacky fake walnut dashboard and got it delivered to your Dad’s car place in Epping and they fixed it all up and…” He shrugs again. “The rest is history.”
I’m gobsmacked! “You did all of that for me, but you didn’t come for me, you never thought… you never just thought f*ck it, I don’t care if she wants to see me, I’m gonna see her anyway?”
“A million times G, more than a million. I sat outside your Mum and Dad’s old house and almost broke in one night. I was gonna break in and just sit and watch you sleep but then I remembered that Frank has a gun and I didn’t want him to shoot me.” As sad as I feel, I still manage a small smile.
“I went to the shops once, I waited outside for a bit and then just as I plucked up the courage to go in and speak to ya, you came walking along with your Mum, you looked…” He closes his eyes and smiles. “You looked so beautiful. So grown up. You had a cream suit on and sling back shoes, you reminded me of Audrey Hepburn, all elegant and ladylike.”
His eyes sparkle as he looks up at me. “Nothing like the Georgia I remembered in her monkey boots, camouflage trousers and Sex Pistols t-shirt. Anyway, once I saw your Mum was there, I knew it was pointless, I knew she wouldn’t let me near you.” Again I’m floored by what he’s just told me.
“I know that day, I remember wearing that suit to a business lunch with my Mum and she had told me to put my hair in a beehive because the suit was very Hepburn. Sean that was only last year, less than that, last summer sometime.”
“I know when it was G, there’s been other times since then but that was just driving past, I just didn’t know what to do. I had the note remember; it told me to stay away, to never make contact.” My belly goes over and then ties itself into a complete knot. “Babe, you’re pulling my hair.” I look down at my hand, twisting a handful of Sean’s hair, I release it.
“Sorry, sorry, that’s what thinking about her and what she’s done to us does to me, I wanna kill her Sean. I should’ve done it years ago, I should’ve done it that night she licked your face.” He throws his head back and laughs, his shoulders shake in my lap.
“What’s funny?”
He has tears rolling down the side of his head. ”You were, that night, you beat the crap out of her, there were handfuls of her hair everywhere, and I’ve never seen you move so fast.”
I don’t know why he’s laughing, I wish I had stomped on her head and as if reading my thoughts he says, “G, don’t even think about it, just let it go. If we keep going over it, it means she’s won. killing her is not an option so let’s just ignore her, we’re here, we’ve ended up right here, naked, like this, talking like this, loving each other like this, despite everything that she’s done, we’re right where we were always meant to be, together.”
I shake my head at him. “You are such a song writer, hark at all this shit.”
In one swift move, he throws me down on the bed, pinning me underneath him. “What I just said is not shit G; I mean every word of it. One way or another, we’re gonna find our way back to each other. One way or another I was gonna fight and win you back, even if I died doing it.”
He rakes his hand through his hair and his fingers meet mine. “F*ck G, the things that have gone through my mind, the things I’ve thought of doing to try and see ya and then, everything else, the band, touring, the f*ckin’ press up my arse all the time. It’s been a nightmare. There’ve been times, when I seriously thought that I was gonna go mental, that I was actually gonna end up in the nut house.”
My eyes wander over his face, hating but at the same time feeling overjoyed that he’d pretty much gone through the exact same emotions I had for the last four years.
We eventually make our way down to the kitchen around midday and that’s only because Sean is complaining that he’s starving, my stomach is still too all over the place to even consider food; there’s a note taped to the fridge.
Morning young lovers
Help yourselves to food, shower, whatever.
Stay as long as you want, you know that you’re always welcome.
Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do, although,
Judging by the sounds coming from the bedroom in the early hours of this morning, the deed’s already been done.
We love you both so very much and truly hope you can work things out.
If you need to hide out here for a while that’s fine with us.
George, ring me, Maca, I’ve cancelled all your appointments until next Wednesday.
Luv ya’s
J & L
X
For some reason, the note made me teary but I managed to swallow them down as I pulled out a frying pan to make Sean some fried eggs on toast. It was just a natural thing to do. I made his tea exactly how he liked it, strong, no sugar; he liked his yokes runny and his toast well done, three eggs, three slices of toast, well-buttered and a dollop of HP sauce on the side, oh and white pepper and salt on his eggs. White pepper, never black on his fried eggs.
He sat in silence as he watched me prepare his food, his lips twitching up into a smile at every individual thing that I remembered; when I set it all down in front of him, he said, “Come here.”
I walked around to where he was sat at the breakfast bar, he opened his legs and pulled me between them, he wrapped his arms around my waist, and I wrapped mine around his neck. “Do you have any idea the affect you remembering all of that had on my heart?”
I smile at him and shake my head. “No, but I can feel the affect that it’s had on your dick.”
He’s still only wearing his boxers and I’m still only wearing his t-shirt. He slides his hands underneath it and grabs my bum cheeks and pulls me in closer to him. “Georgia, baby, you cooking me eggs on toast has f*ck all to do with my hard on, the fact that you exist is enough to do that.”
He tilts his head and gives me that lazy lopsided grin, the one that had me falling head over heels in love with him, nine very long years ago. “But you remembering exactly how I like my eggs on toast, right down to the white pepper and HP sauce, that’s got my heart beating in a way that it hasn’t in four very long and lonely years.”
I don’t know why I say it, but it’s out before I think too much about it… “Oh I’m sure you’ve had no shortage of women to make you eggs on toast and to make things hard for you over the last four years and I bet those years have been anything but lonely.”
His face falls and I instantly regret what I’ve just said, he swallows hard and strokes over my cheekbone with the back of his hand. “Oh Georgia Rae, you have no idea, no f*ckin’ idea.”
He pulls me in and takes a big sniff of my hair. “I smell of fried egg,” I complain.
“Na, you smell like Gia, you smell like home, you smell like exactly where I want to spend the rest of my life.”
I swallow back the next round of tears threatening to escape and just say. “Eat your breakfast before its stone cold.”
He smacks my arse as I turn and go to fetch my cup of tea from where I left it over by the kettle. I come back and sit on the stool next to him and watch him eat as I sip my tea. “Why are you not eating G?’
I shake my head. “I don’t think I could keep anything down.”
“Why, what’s wrong?” He asks with a frown.
“Nothing, just… ” I shrug, “I don’t know, just all of this.”
I gesture between us. “You, me, my Mum, the circumstances, it’s just got my head spinning and my belly back flipping, I really don’t think I could keep anything down right now.”
“Just a bit of toast?” he asks.
“No.” I shake my head.
“G, baby, please don’t take this the wrong way but you really need to put on a bit of weight.” I don’t take it the wrong way; I know that I’m way to skinny. I’m not short at five feet eight and the last time I weighed myself I was just over eight stone, a whole stone lighter than I was a couple of years ago. I’d gained a couple of pounds these last few months since I’d been seeing Cam, but I still needed to gain more.
Cam, shit, I need to speak to him, he’ll be worrying himself sick about where I am, but I also need to end things between us. Don’t know how he’ll take that and oddly enough, I’m not really sure how I’m feeling about it either.
“G, you okay, I haven’t upset you with that have I?” Sean brings me back from my Cam dilemma.
“What? No, no. I know I’ve lost weight, too much work, gym, clubbing.” I shrug. “I was skinnier, but Cam’s been good for me, I’ve put… ” I stop as soon as I realise what I’m saying.
“So is Cam the boyfriend?” he asks, looking right into my eyes, I nod.
“I’ll have to call him today, he’ll be worried.”
“Don’t let me stop ya.” His eyes have lost their spark.
“Please don’t, I need to call him and I need to see him, he’s a nice bloke and he’ll be worrying about where I was all night.”
“You live together?”
“No, no but he’s got a key. I was out with him last night, we had a row, I stormed off and left him in the restaurant and jumped in a taxi and came here.”
“So I have Cam to thank for you falling into my arms last night?” he asks with a smirk.
I suppose he does. “If that’s the way you want to look at it, then yeah, you do.”
“G, where you and he are concerned, I don’t want to look at it at all, but, ya know, we’ve been apart, it’s been four years, I get it.” He shrugs his shoulders. “I hate the idea of it but I get it.”
He reaches out and brings my hand to his lips and kisses first the back, then turns it over and kisses my palm, then licks and kisses the inside of my wrist. He lets go and stands from his stool and takes his plate and cutlery over to the dishwasher. I know Sean, I know him inside out and I know exactly where he’s going now, even before he says, “I need the bog, you make your calls then come and join me in the shower.”
I smile and shake my head. “In one end and out the other, some things never change do they babe?”
He grins a cheeky grin at me and shrugs. “What can I say G? It’s the way I’m made.”
I watch him as he walks out of the kitchen, a few seconds later, he’s back and stood between my legs as I still sit on the stool, he tucks my hair behind my ears and my belly and my eyelids both flutter at his touch. “When you speak to Cam, be gentle with him.” He looks over my face and gives a slight nod. “I know first-hand, how f*ckin’ awful it is to lose you.” He tilts his head, kisses me gently on the lips and turns and heads for the bathroom.
I sit for a moment longer and look over at the phone; my mind is in a complete whirl, for some reason thoughts of my Mum’s tumble drier come into my head. When we all lived at home, it always seemed to be full of socks, lots and lots of socks, different sizes, different colours, all going around and around and that’s exactly how my head feels right now and every one of those socks represents a thought and each of those thoughts are scrambling for attention in my brain and I have no idea where to start. I swallow down the last of my tea and pick up the phone, I call my flat first and see if Cam picks up but there’s no answer. I let it go to answer phone and call out for Cam to pick up if he’s there but still no answer, I call his flat but there’s no answer there so I leave a short message on his machine. I knew he wouldn’t be at either of the first two places, I’m just delaying the inevitable, it’s one o’clock on a Friday afternoon, there’s only one place he’ll be and that’s the office at the wine bar. He picks up on the second ring.
“Speak.” Charming, he’s so not in a good mood.
“Cam?”
“Kitten? F*ck, where the f*ck are you? Don’t you ever do something like that to me again, you f*ckin’ hear me. I’ve been worried sick, where are you?”
“I’m sorry, I’m fine, I should’ve called you last night. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
“Where are you? I’ll come and get you.”
“No, no, that’s fine, I don’t need collecting.”
“You okay? I missed you, I stayed at yours last night, I needed to be able to smell you, I f*ckin’ hated sleeping in your bed alone, and waking up alone.” My heart gives a little stutter, now that the hard protective brick wall is down, it’s affected by more than Sean it would seem and this little revelation seems to rush over me like a tidal wave. What does that mean? Has Cam always had the ability to make my heart do strange things, if I’d have let him?
“Georgia, you still there?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m still here. Look Cam, we need to talk, not on the phone, I need to see you.”
“Well I just said I would come and get you now but I only have an hour, I have a flight out of City Airport to catch at four thirty, and I won’t be back until Monday.”
“Well, I’ll just wait and see you Monday then.” Monday’s good, gives me a bit of breathing space at least.
“I’d really like to see you now Kitten, Monday’s a long way off and I want to show you how sorry I am for being such a prick last night.”
“I can’t Cam, you don’t have to keep apologising, you shouldn’t have behaved like a prick, and I shouldn’t have stormed off like a diva. Go catch your flight and give me a call on Monday, once you’re home.”
He’s quiet for a minute and I feel really mean, I would actually like to see him now, the fact that he’s flying off somewhere I assume is overseas makes me feel a little pang of jealousy, he hadn’t mentioned this trip to me all week and he hadn’t said anything about it last night when I told him to come to Ashley’s party. I start to feel a little pissed off, we argued over Ashley’s party, when he knew full well he wouldn’t be able to come anyway.
“If I could get out of it George, I would but something’s come up with some business I have going on in Amsterdam and I need to fly over and sort it out, I only found out myself a couple of hours ago that I was going.”
“It’s okay.” I lie “You go and sort out your business. I’ll talk to you Monday.”
“I miss you George, have a good weekend.”
“You too Cam, bye.”
“George, I… nothing, I’ll see you Monday.” I end the call and wonder why, once again, I want to cry?
I walk quietly into the bathroom and watch Sean in the shower, he’s standing with his back to the water, it’s hitting the top of his head and bouncing off his shoulders, his head is tilted up to the ceiling, his eyes are closed and he’s singing. I shudder and close my eyes as the desire I feel at the sound of his raspy voice unfurls between my legs, making my muscles tighten and my heart speed up as I listen to him sing. I’ve never heard of the song but as I listen to the words, I think I know what it is.
I tried, I really tried but it was only ever you.
All these years, all the tears, it’s still only ever you.
What we did, the things we said, they’re still always on my mind.
There’s no one else, there never was, it’s still only ever you.
The sweetest smile, the bluest eyes, the taste of you, on my tongue.
You’re in my heart, you’re in my head, right where you belong.
All the others, they never mattered, they don’t come close to you.
Wish you was here, wrapped in my arms, my heart aches just at the thought of you.
All the others, they never mattered, none of them come close to you.
The things they write, it’s all bullshit and lies
Because it’s still only ever you.
You’re the only one that can make me complete but I let you down, I f*cked it up
Our lives were planned and with one stupid act, I blew it all away.
My lies were white, my heart was black
I got just what I deserved when you never came back
But still…
You’re in my heart, you’re in my head, right where you belong.
I want you here right by my side, I want you real, a distant memory just ain’t the same
There’s nothing left, my life’s gone to shit and I’ve only got myself to blame.
I get on stage, I sing my song but all I want, all I need, is to have you back, where you belong
With me…With me…Always…With me.
I undo the shower screen door and step in beside him, he opens his eyes and looks at me, the water is bouncing off of him, his shoulders, his broad chest and I sway with the emotion of it all.
He pushes my hair off my face and sings in a whisper, “Where you belong, with me, with me, always, with me.”
His mouth comes down hard on mine, he spins me around and pushes me against the hard tiled wall of the shower, he slides up and in me all in one move, I wrap my legs around him as he holds onto my bum cheeks and presses me between the wall and his hips. Still kissing me hard on the lips; he breaks away and pushes my hair off my face. “F*ck I love you Georgia Rae and I’m gonna spend the rest of my life proving it.”
We have bed sex after we have shower sex so then I have to have another quick shower, which I insist on taking alone so that the cycle doesn’t start again. We strip and remake the bed, then jump into Sean’s white Range Rover and go to my flat. He calls Len from there and thanks him for letting us stay and arranges for us all to go out tonight, apparently it’s been a while since the boys were all in the country at the same time so they want to catch up, that’s what last night was supposed to have been about and it was, till I fell through the front door. Sean then calls Marley to see if he would like to join us for dinner, which he does. You would think that being the world famous, jet setters that they now were, we would be heading to some swanky restaurant in the West End or the city but no, this is Sean and my brothers and all they want to do is head into Upminster to their favourite Indian, which is the very same Indian I go to most Saturday nights.
Thankfully there’s no evidence of Cam having been here, my bed has been made and there are none of his clothes hanging about. I throw on a pair of jeans with a smart blouse and a pair of heels, put my hair up in a messy bun and put on some makeup, and then we drive into the Docklands area of East London. The whole place is like a huge building site, with redevelopment work going on everywhere, we pull up at what looks like a huge warehouse on the edge of the water. It’s a three story building, built from old stock bricks. Sean takes my hand as we head toward a set of wooden and glass doors, he taps a code into the machine and we walk into a lobby area where there is a concierge come security guard sitting behind a sort of hole in the wall. He’s an older man, maybe in his sixties but very tall and muscular, he stands from where he was watching telly as we walk in.
“Alright Ronnie, how’s things?”
“All good here Maca, all good, Marley’s home, I ain’t seen him go out nowhere t’day.”
He smiles and nods his head toward me as he speaks in his gruff cockney accent. “This is my girlfriend Georgia, Ron, I’m gonna sort her out with keys and the key code, just in case you see her coming in and out and wonder who she is.”
My belly does a little twirl and my heart swells as I hear him call me his girlfriend, Ronnie steps out from his little room and comes over and shakes my hand. “Nice to meet ya Georgia, ‘bout time he settled down wiv a decent bird, still, he ain’t as bad as Marley. I don’t know where he gets the energy from, two and three at a time I’ve seen him take…” He trails off as I think Sean is glaring at him from beside me.
“Nice to meet you too Ronnie,” I smile as I speak. “And I will be having a word with my brother about his lose morals, don’t you worry about that.”
He looks from me to Sean with a frown; Sean pulls me into him by my waist. “Georgia is Marley’s little sister Ron, you just dropped him right in the shit.”
We turn and head for the lifts as Ron mumbles something I don’t quite catch. The lift is the original old fashioned metal box, with a caged door that you have to pull across and close by hand. There’s also an old fashioned wrought iron spiral staircase if you don’t want to take the lift, Sean informs me.
The apartment is fantastic, nothing like you would expect two, twenty-two year old rock stars to live in. It’s all exposed brickwork and timber. I notice the sofas are the exact replicas of the old Chesterfield from the summerhouse, in the exact same colour too. Marley’s lying on one of them as we come in. He’s playing some kind of a game with a controller, it looks like a werewolf, running riot in ancient Greece and I don’t think Marley’s doing too well because he throws the controller down and sits up as we come in.
“Big brother Marley, how are we, you got any dirty birds stashed up here that I need to kick out?”
“What the f*ck are you talking about little sister Georgia?” he asks as he stands, stretches, then pulls me in for a cuddle and kisses the top of my head.
Sean heads off in search of clean clothes and shouts, “I just introduced G to Ronnie. He told her about the amount of birds you bring back here, before I had chance to tell him she was your sister.”
“Nice one Ron,” Sean mumbles as he sits back down on the sofa.
“Anyway, cheeky f*cker, who said the birds I bring back here are dirty?” Marls shouts loud enough for Sean to hear.
“Err, actually, you did, don’t you remember, you threw one out a few weeks back coz you said she had a smelly twat,” Sean shouts as he heads back in to the open plan room.
My mouth drops open, he’s wearing black jeans, with a white v necked t-shirt; he has on a black suede jacket, and is wearing wooden rosary beads and a cross around his neck. He looks every bit the world famous rock star that he is and I suddenly feel inadequate as I look at his perfection.
He smirks as he walks toward me and wiggling his eyebrows he asks, “Wanna see my bedroom?”
I stand and roll my eyes at him as he pulls me in for a kiss. “Not if you want to leave here any time this century.”
He kisses me on the mouth and squeezes my arse cheeks. “Suits me, I’m only going where you go for the rest of my life anyway.”
“Oh please, I’m gonna spew, is this how it’s gonna be again, you two all over each other like it used to be?”
“F*ck off Marls, we’ve got four years to catch up on, you’re just jealous coz you can’t keep a bird.”
“No Maca, I don’t want a bird, look at the f*ckin’ mess you’ve been in the past four years, writing shitty love songs and crying in ya beer every time you have more than two drinks.”
I bite on my bottom lip as I try to contain the smile this news induces, well good, I’m glad he suffered, makes me feel a little better about what I’ve been through.
Sean raises his eyebrows at me. “What you laughing at?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head and grin.
* * *
We finally make it back into Essex and are seated in the Indian Restaurant by eight o’clock. I don’t know when the table was reserved, but it was and it’s right at the back, tucked around a corner. Despite this, the boys still end up signing autographs for half the night. We laugh, joke and talk in the way that we always have, five lifelong friends catching up. There’s no rock stars amongst us, it’s just my two big brothers, my best friend and my boyfriend, until we head outside to our cars and all hell breaks loose. Somebody has obviously called the press and as I walk out of the restaurant first, looking behind me as I chat to Marley, I’m first knocked in one direction and then the other as cameras flash in my face. There’s suddenly chaos all around me as I’m asked my name, my relationship to the band, am I going home for a threesome with Marley and Sean. I hear Sean roar at them all to f*ck off from somewhere behind me, then Marley tucks me under his arm and walks me to Sean’s car as it bleeps and is unlocked by someone I am assuming is Sean, behind us. Marley pushes me into the passenger seat and then goes back to help Sean out, as he is now being mobbed by pap’s, reporters and a bunch of screaming girls. I jump as I hear a loud crack when a camera lens is pushed up against the window of the door, I lock the door quickly and just try and keep my head down and ignore the questions. Sean makes it to the car but then can’t get in because I’ve locked it; he scrambles for his keys, jumps in and locks the door behind him.
I know as soon as I look at him that he’s angry. “F*ck G, you okay, they didn’t hurt you did they? F*ckers.” He looks me over.
“I’m fine, it just freaked me out, f*cking hell, they’re aggressive.”
“Tell me about it and they’re getting f*cking worse, you sure you’re alright? I’ll knock them the f*ck out next time, they’re pigs some of them.”
The commotion is still going off all around us, cameras flashing, people banging on the windows asking for autographs; he starts the car and moves slowly forward.
“Move you stupid f*ckers!” he shouts and punches the hooter on the steering wheel. “I swear these people have a death wish.”
I don’t know why but I get the giggles and by the time we escape the ‘stupid f*ckers’ we’re both laughing at absolutely nothing.
“Where’s Marley?” I ask when I realise he’s missing.
“Gone with Len, he’s gonna stay at their place tonight.”
My belly goes over as I wonder what that means for us, he looks from the road to me and then back to the road. “I wanted to take you to mine but them wankers know where we live, they’ll probably be there waiting for us.”
I keep staring ahead; he reaches across and takes my hand. “Would it be okay if we stayed at yours? They’d never know to look there.”
“Of course, it’s not as flash as yours and I don’t have a Ronnie at the front door.” He brings my hand up to his lips and kisses it.
“As long as you’re there G, I don’t give a f*ck if it’s even got a front door.”
I laugh at that. “Ah, now that I do have, in fact I have two, my Dad’s boys did the refurbishment, it’s something that he insisted on and I’m sure if he thought that he could get away with it, he would also have got me a Ronnie.”
He throws his head back and laughs and the sound makes me smile. We drive back to mine without being followed and spend the rest of the night making love in my bed, which smells of Cam. I fall asleep in Sean’s arms, dreaming about lights flashing and being pulled in different directions by two tall, dark haired, dark eyed men.
I’m woken in the morning by my phone ringing. I look across at my clock radio, shit, and its eleven forty-five. Sean is wrapped all around me and hasn’t stirred at the sound of the phone. I wriggle out from underneath him and grab the phone from its base and walk out to the kitchen and put the kettle on as I answer.
“Hello.” My voice is dry and raspy from my long sleep.
“I’m sorry Kitten, did I wake you?” For some reason, guilt washes over me as I hear Cam’s voice. I look down at my naked self and think about all the different ways Sean f*cked me in my bed last night.
“Mmm, yeah, you did,” I say as I stretched, trying to disguise the guilt in my voice.
“Did you have a late night baby?”
“Not really, just needed the sleep.” Lie.
“What did you do last night?”
“Went for an Indian.” Not a lie.
“Right, who with?”
“Jimmie.” Sort of not a lie, Jimmie was there.
“Oh right, no Ashley?” Shit, I nearly always go out with Ash on a Friday night. Double shit, it’s Ash’s party tonight at the club, shit, f*ck, bollocks, I have a hair and makeup appointment at three.
“No, no Ash, she’s saving herself for tonight.”
“Ah, right, yeah, her party at the club.”
“Yeah.” There’s a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.
“Okay, well seeing as you don’t seem to want to talk, I’ll hang up. Sorry for waking you up Kitten.”
I feel terrible, evil. “Cam.”
The instant I say his name, I realise that Sean is behind me, I turn to see him standing naked, his arms above his head as he reaches up to touch the top of the door frame, he isn’t as tall as Cam, but at around six foot, he’s still tall and he’s nowhere near as broad but he’s still beautifully defined. That’s exactly what Sean is, from his dark hair, which is a long mess right now, his dark skin and eyes, all the way down to that perfect V thing men have going on, to his toned legs and sexy brown feet, he is just beautiful, my beautiful boy.
“Kitten?”
Shit, Cam. “I’ll talk to you Monday,” I say. He hangs up without saying any more. I turn and look at Sean who now has a hard on that’s almost touching his belly button, I walk toward him, wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him, he slides his hands underneath my bum cheeks, lifts me up and carries me over to the breakfast bar, where he sits me down but remains standing between my legs.
“Shit,” I complain as the cold surface hits my bare arse. “It’s freezing.”
He gives a little smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I thought you spoke to him yesterday.”
My stomach jumps to my throat and I swallow it back down before I speak, “I did, he’s away on business, I want to talk to him face to face but he’s not back till Monday so I’ll talk to him then.”
He slides me forward so that I’m pressed against him, he’s standing, I’m sitting on the breakfast bar, both naked, my legs wrapped around his hips. “I’m jealous; I don’t want you to see him Monday.”
“Why are you jealous? I’m seeing him to break up with him.” He shrugs his shoulders and rubs his thumb over his bottom lip.
“I don’t know, just the thought of you with him.” His hand rubs at the back of his neck. “I’m being a twat ain’t I?”
“You’re being a complete twat babe.”
He smiles that beautiful, lazy, lopsided smile of his. “I love you.” Is all that he says, and then he carries me back to bed.
Later, I explain to him about Ashley’s party tonight at my Dad’s club and ask if he would like to come with me. Jimmie and Lennon are going so we call Marley up and ask him to come along too, despite the fact the party’s in the VIP area. Sean calls up his usual security guards and arranges for them to work tonight. Later Sean heads over to Lens to pick up Marley and they go home to get ready for tonight. They’ll meet us at the club later as I’m going in the limo with the girls. The instant he’s gone, I miss him, miss him to the point that I stand for a few seconds and hug myself as I think of the mad events that have happened over the last forty eight hours. I’m bought back to earth by my buzzer going off, Sean had insisted that I lock both doors after he left, he’s worried about reporters finding out who I am and coming over here, although why exactly they would be interested in me, I have no idea.
“Hello,” I call into the intercom.
“Get the door G, my arms are breaking here.” It’s Ashley; I had completely forgotten she was getting ready here. She will freak out when I tell her who I’ve invited along tonight. She loves Carnage. I’ve got her tickets for their shows a few times but never the back stage passes that she’s begged for. I couldn’t, I hated the thought of her seeing Sean when I couldn’t so I always made up some excuse, well today, I would make up for that and give her a birthday present to remember.
I buzzed the bomb/riot/nuclear war proof door my Dad had insisted was installed, open and went to my front door. Ashley not only had a garment bag and holdall with her, she also had a case of champagne. I helped her in with everything and we hug.
“I’ve been worried about you babe, your Mum said you was a bit under the weather, I thought you was gonna bail on me. I belled a couple of times but you didn’t pick up. What’s up babe, dodgy guts or summit?” Ashley had the kind of Essex accent that made my Mum cringe, she was careful in the shop to never drop her H’s or to use slang but once she was out of the shop, she spoke like a typical Essex girl, the way I would have spoken if my Mum hadn’t been around to always pick me up on my pronunciation. I slipped occasionally but never to Ashley’s degree.
“Ash.” I held her by the shoulders and looked at her, she was as blonde as I was dark but we both had blue eyes, she was as tall as me but much curvier and whenever we went out together, we turned every head in the place.
She frowned and looked at me. “George.”
“I have some news.”
“Yeah, right, am I gonna like it?”
“Not sure, you will definitely like some of it.”
“F*ck’s sake George, jus spill will ya.”
“I’m back with Sean.”
“What… Rock star Sean, Maca, from Carnage Sean?”
“Hmm mmm.” Is all I can manage while I nod.
“F*ck, what about TDH.” Okay, that wipes the smile off my face. I let out a deep sigh.
“I know, I feel really bad, he’s away till Monday, I’ll see him then and call things off.”
“Wow, babe, back with Sean… Shit, was that you in the paper with him this morning, coming out of a restaurant last night?” No, the pictures were in the papers?
“What, what papers, what did it say?”
“Ha, well actually it’s really funny now I know it was you, you’re looking down at the ground and Marley’s on one side with his arm around your shoulders and Sean’s on the other, pushing a pap out the way and the headline says something like ‘Looks like another Marley and Maca threesome was on the cards for the Carnage boys last night’. How funny is that, they had you down as shagging your own brother, which, yeah anyway, so, wow.”
She realises that I’m not impressed by the look on my face. I grab my phone and dial the number that Sean wrote down on a piece of paper for me earlier, Marley answers. “It’s done; we dumped the body in the Thames.”
“Very funny Marls, one day that will get you in deep shit.”
“Hello little sister Georgia, it’s been what, two hours since you seen him and your already on the phone, you sad little individual.”
“Is that Georgia? Gimme the phone,” I hear Sean say in the background.
“G?”
“Sean, those pictures from last night made the papers; apparently I was going home for a threesome with you and Marley.”
“F*ck, Norman, the doorman said we were in the papers when we got back here but he didn’t say what it said. You okay G?”
“Not really but what can I do?”
“Nothing really, I told ya, they’re pigs most of them, I’ll sort you out some security, if they see us together again, it’ll only get worse and then…” he trails off.
“And then what?
“Look, don’t freak out but some of our fans are a bit… possessive, any girls, any of us have ever been linked with generally get abuse of some kind. But don’t worry, I’ll get Milo onto it, I’ll get you the best close protection, I ain’t having anyone getting near ya G.”
“I need a body guard, seriously?”
“Yes G, I ain’t taking no chances, there’s some f*ckin’ nutters out there and I ain’t risking one of them getting near ya.” I don’t really know what to say to that.
“I miss ya, can’t wait to see you tonight,” he says quietly into the phone.
“Peeerrrleeease, you’ve just left her, you’ll see her again in a few hours!” I hear Marley call out.
“Shut the f*ck up Layton you dick.” I smile at a conversation I have heard so many times between these two. I look up to see Ashley watching me with a grin on her face.
“I miss you too.”
“What time you leaving?”
“The limo picks us up at nine, get ready and come back here if you want.”
“Na, you enjoy your girl time, we’ll just meet ya at the club.”
“Okay, see ya then.”
“I love you Georgia Rae, show us your tits,” he whispers into the phone.
“Maca, I can hear you, that’s my little f*ckin’ sister, you perv.”
“I love you too Sean.” I stand and grin into the phone for a few seconds, listening to him telling Marley to shut up again.
“Go get yourself tarted up, can’t wait to see ya.” I hang straight up; otherwise we’ll be there for hours, just like we used to be.
As soon as I end the call, Ashley is on me. “George, I’ve gotta say babe, I’ve never, ever, seen you look so happy, you’re proper in love with him ain’t ya.” She sounds amazed, like this is a revelation, has no one been listening to me these past nine years. I love Sean McCarthy, always have, always will, nothing will ever change that.
“I love him Ash, I’ve always loved him.” She didn’t say anything for a while and then surprised me by giving me a cuddle.
“You know what babe, I believe ya, it’s written all over ya face, you look different, like the light has been switched on somewhere.”
I smile back; I know exactly what she means, because that’s exactly how I feel. “Ash, look, I hope you don’t mind but tonight I sorted of invited Sean along.”
“Oh my f*ckin’ God, George, are you serious. Sean McCarthy is coming to my birthday party, really, did he say yes, is he really coming?”
“Yes Ash, really and Marley’s coming too.” She screams so loud, it actually hurts my ears.
“Georgia, oh my God Georgia, the boys from Carnage are gonna be at my birthday party. F*ck, you are the best friend ever.” I think she’s happy!