Becoming Calder

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE


Eden



The spring was bathed in yellow moonlight when I broke through the brush and stood drawing in air in heavy pants, my entire body shaking. Please let Calder and Xander have heard my call.
I dropped the canvas bag I had thankfully been able to grab as I escaped, and wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing my hands up and down my goosefleshed skin.
I stood taking deep, calming breaths, trying to get my raging emotions under control. It's safe here. When I heard the footsteps coming through the brush on the other side of the rock wall, I cried out in relief, knowing it could only be Calder and Xander. No one else would be coming toward me to this secret place with such direction and purpose.
Calder burst through the brush, his eyes wild, panting heavily, Xander over his shoulder. Alarm filled me. "Is he okay?"
"He's fine, just out cold."
I exhaled heavily. My emotion burst to the surface and I rushed toward him. He lay Xander down gently in the grass and caught me in his arms as I sobbed out his name.
"Shh, Eden, it's okay. I'm here. Tell me what happened. What happened, Morning Glory? What did he do to you?" He held me tight and ran his hand down the back of my hair, whispering the soothing words into my ear.
I had trouble drawing in air as the sobs rose up my chest, the hysteria now finding a safe place to land in Calder's strong arms. "I . . . he . . ." I drew in a big breath, gathering myself together. It wouldn't help any of us if I went stark raving mad. "He found your letters, Calder." I leaned back, looking up at his handsome, worried face with shame and regret. "I'm so sorry. I," I shook my head, "shouldn't have kept them. But I wanted to take them with me when we left. They were mine. They were part of us and I wanted them." More tears coursed down my cheeks.
Calder looked down at me tenderly and used his thumb to wipe the tears off my cheek. "We're all okay. What did he do to you? Tell me."
I shook my head again, trying to move the memory away. "He . . . went crazy." My eyes widened as I pictured Hector's beet-red face, the bulging vein at his temple, his crazed eyes. "After what happened with Xander, I was so upset." I looked down at Xander, snoring quietly on the ground. "I'm so sorry, Xander," I said quietly, knowing he couldn't hear me, but needing to say the words anyway. "You paid the price for all of us."
"He's okay, Eden. Really, he is."
I frowned, looking at Calder for a few beats. I doubted he was really okay. I'd seen his raw, open skin and the look on his face as that whip made contact. But he'd been so brave. He hadn't uttered a single noise. I bit my lip and straightened my spine. "I helped Hailey put the boys to bed and then I went back up to my room and he was there, sitting on my bed reading your letters." Dread filled my chest again, just like it had when I'd walked into my bedroom.
"Did he touch you? Did he hurt you?" Calder asked, his jaw tense and his eyes filling with coldness.
"No. He just kept saying, 'He burns for you? He burns for you? I'll show you how he burns for you.'" I choked back a sob, shuddering with the memory. "He wanted to kill you," I whispered, "and maybe me, too."
"What did you do? How did you get out?" Calder asked icily, running his hands over me as if to prove to himself I was whole.
"He locked me in his office. I dragged the filing cabinet in front of the door and then broke a window with the fireplace poker. They were all banging on the door as I climbed outside. A council member, Ken Wahl, I think, I don't know, came around the outside, but I was already hiding and he didn't see me." I shivered again. Calder blinked at me and then ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head slowly, a small, disbelieving smile on his lips.
"Morning Glory," he muttered.
"I didn't have a choice," I said. "It was that or . . . who knows what. Something bad." I looked up at Calder. "I'm just sorry we have to leave before we're really ready."
"No, you made the right choice, did the right thing. And we'd have had to leave soon anyway. My marriage to Hannah is supposed to take place next week." Calder brought his hands to my cheeks, tilting my face up and looking into my eyes. "And after today, Xander and I had already decided to leave earlier." He studied me. "You were so brave."
We stared at each other for a few seconds; I drew strength from the face I loved so very, very much. I felt calmer already. We were together. We were safe—for now.
"Our only issue now is we don't have a cent to our name," Calder said.
"Oh," I said, stepping back. "No, that's not true." I walked to the canvas bag I'd hidden in the bushes behind the main lodge. Thankfully, I'd been able to sneak around and retrieve it quickly after I'd jumped out of Hector's office window. From there I'd snuck to the grove of trees a hundred feet or so from the sick tent, done my best nighthawk call three times, and then made my way carefully to the trail that led to the spring.
I knelt down on the grass and dumped out the contents of my bag, all the loose cash I'd stolen all over the main lodge, and all the jewelry I'd swiped from the council members and their wives. I had become especially brazen as Calder's marriage to Hannah drew near. I really should have been the one to be whipped today. It was only Xander's bad luck that the one thing discovered was something he'd taken.
I reached inside the bag and scooped out all the loose change I had and then looked up at Calder, standing right next to me, his mouth hanging open. Xander rolled toward the loud sound of the change clinking onto the ground, his eyes dreamy, half open.
"Well, holy hell," Xander mumbled out.
"For the love of the gods. She's worse than you," Calder said, looking over at Xander.
"Where'd you find her?" Xander asked woozily, slurring. "I think I'm in love."
Calder laughed and looked over at me, his dark eyes filled with warmth. "Oh, I found her by this pretty spring one time . . ."
I smiled at Calder and then Xander attempted a grin, but promptly passed out again, his head falling back to the ground. Calder looked from Xander, snoring softly, back to me and started to laugh, shaking his head as if the whole situation was kind of ridiculous, which in actuality, I guessed it kind of was.
"Isn't this what you wanted me to do?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Calder stopped laughing. "Hell no," he said. "It was far too dangerous." He let out a breath, one side of his lip quirking up. "But since it's done, I'm glad you did."
I smiled up at him as he knelt down on the grass next to me and started taking inventory of what we had. After a few minutes, he said, "Three hundred eighty-three dollars." He put the paper money in a neat stack and then handed it to me so I could put it back in the bag.
"I have no idea how much this other stuff could be worth," Calder said, holding up a gold ring with a red stone in it, a ruby maybe. "But it's gotta be worth something, especially if this is real gold."
I nodded and then we packed everything back up in the bag. He looked at me. "You did really well, Eden," he said. The look in his eyes told me he was not only impressed, but thankful and relieved. I smiled proudly.
"So now the only thing we have to do is get changed and get out of here," Calder said. "Eden, you're gonna have to help me change Xander."
I nodded and then frowned. "If he can't dress himself, how's he going to walk?"
"He's not," Calder said. "I'm going to carry him. And get him somewhere he can heal," he finished quietly.
Calder grabbed the bag he'd dropped by the entrance to the spring and perused the items for a few minutes, holding them up and then deciding who should get what.
Calder and I dressed Xander in jeans and a blue button-up shirt, trying our best not to hurt his back. But he was pretty out of it and didn't seem to be in any pain. I turned my head when I was at risk of seeing something too personal and let Calder take over.
As Calder was dressing, I packed everything up in the bag and then turned around. I sucked in a breath. Calder was wearing blue jeans with a light gray T-shirt that was just a little bit too fitted over his lean muscles, but in a way that made my mouth go dry. And he was wearing a cap with some kind of orange logo that looked like an S and an F entwined together.
I grinned. "You'll do." My smile faded. "But what am I supposed to wear?"
"We were going to wait for Kristi to give you something," he said. "So you'll have to wear what you're wearing for now. Hopefully with us dressed normally, you'll blend."
I nodded. There was no other choice. "So what do we do?"
"We get far away from here, and we find a hotel until Xander can call Kristi."
"I think we're about twenty miles from the city," he continued. "Maybe fifteen. Do you think you can make it?"
I nodded my head. I'd do whatever I had to do to get far, far away from Hector and his wild eyes. I'd walk barefoot if I had to. I glanced down at our feet. We all still had on the same simple sandals we always wore. There was one woman who made them on Acadia, and her craftsmanship was about to be put to the test.
"But Calder, you can't walk twenty miles, carrying Xander," I whispered.
"I don't have a choice," Calder said. "I'm sure as hell not leaving him here."
My heart swelled with love for my brave, strong boy.
"I think it's a good idea to stick to the desert area as much as possible since Hector most likely sent someone, or many someones, after you." A chill went down my spine and I considered what was in store for us as Calder went and picked Xander up gently, his strong thighs flexing through his jeans as he stood up and again put him over his shoulder.
I wished so desperately I could just snap my fingers and we'd be in a room somewhere deep in the city, safe and locked behind a door. But of course, life never worked that way. You had to live every minute of the hard part in order to get to the good. Maybe that made it all the sweeter though. If you could just skip over the bad parts in life, the good parts would start to feel bland and emotionless. In that moment though, with fear and trepidation moving through my body, bland sounded just fine.
"You ready, Eden?" Calder asked, looking at me and seeming to ask me if I was ready for more than just the hike out of here. Was I ready for a new life? A different life? Perhaps a very long and scary journey to get there?
"Yes," I answered simply.
Calder gazed at me, and then nodded.
"Drink as much water as possible," Calder instructed. "We don't have anything to carry it in and it might be hours before we can find any more. I gave Xander a little water before I heard your call, so he should be okay, especially since he won't be the one exerting himself." His lips set in a grim line.
I leaned over the side of the spring, and put my mouth under the trickling waterfall, and then Calder did the same.
It was time to leave.
We went out through a very small opening between two large, towering rocks on the far side of our spring. Before we left, I made a point of moving the brush in front of the opening where we entered so it was covered completely and didn't look out of place. I didn't want anyone to find this place . . . not just because they'd know where we escaped from, but also because, to me, this place was sacred. I didn't want anyone else tromping through it, at least not before we had a new sacred ground, our own little piece of Elysium on earth.
As we hiked up and climbed over and between rocks, we grew quiet, listening for the sounds of other people. The only sound I heard was Calder's huffing breaths as he carried Xander on his back, straight uphill. I didn't want to think too much about who Hector would have sent after me, or that feeling of dread would come over me again as I pictured his crazed eyes. Instead, I daydreamed about what Calder's and my little slice of peace would look like once we got to where we were going. I had such a small frame of reference, so I mostly used the feelings I remembered from being with my own family before they died, and even the things I loved about the main lodge.
I'd want a bedroom with a huge window like the one at the back of the lodge that looked out on a beautiful view. Not the desert, for we'd be far away, but maybe a body of water, or trees, or a forest of some sort. I'd have a big kitchen and I'd cook dinner for Calder every night. I hadn't been taught how to cook, but I'd watched Hailey in the kitchen, taking note in my mind about how she made bread that rose perfectly and melted in your mouth. I knew all the basics, not because anyone had taught me, but because I'd paid attention. Yes, my kitchen would be the heart of our home.
And there would be babies. I wanted ten babies and I wanted each of them to look like Calder.
Calder glanced back at me, over Xander, and did a double take at my expression. Did I look dreamy-eyed? I couldn't help the blush that rose up my cheeks and I widened my eyes at him. Here I was, planning out his whole life for him in detail as we climbed away from danger. Surely, that wasn't the appropriate focus right now. But I couldn't help dreaming. I had been denied dreaming for so long, too afraid of letting the details come into focus, too afraid they'd be ripped from me. But now, with each step, each foothold, my dreams came just that much closer to coming true. The world felt almost wide open to me right now. I wanted to raise my arms and laugh up at the sky. Calder looked back at me again and when he caught my eye this time, he grinned and I grinned back. There was finally a glimpse of hope. I could see he felt it, too.
When we reached higher ground we both stood together catching our breath for a few minutes.
"Do you need to rest for a while?" I asked.
"No," he said and started walking again.
I looked around, getting my bearings. We were about a half-mile away from the main lodge now. I could see the glowing lights of the windows. It looked like every light in the place was on. I shivered slightly and leaned toward Calder. He put his arm not supporting Xander around me and pulled me into him, looking off in the same direction, lost in his own thoughts. Over his other shoulder, Xander snored.
"That way," Calder pointed. "It'll eventually bring us to the main road, but it looks like there's plenty of rock cover in case we see or hear a car coming." Calder gave me a quick squeeze and we started off again, walking as fast as we could.
"If we keep up this speed," Calder murmured, "we can make it to the city before daylight. That's the goal, okay?" He looked back at me walking behind him and I nodded.
We walked for hours, our path the one that provided the most cover, even if it meant walking in a sort of zigzag pattern now and again. Cover was more important than time, although time was important, too. We saw cars go by on the road twice, but had plenty of warning ahead of time because of the black desert night, and the noise of the engine. Each time we ducked safely behind rocks as the cars drove by slowly.
"I need water," I finally said hours later, parched and unable to keep silent about my need to quench my thirst. Calder stopped walking, looking as parched as me.
"I think I see lights from houses about half a mile away." He pointed and I squinted my eyes to see what he meant. I, too, saw a few very distant lights, but couldn't tell what they were.
I nodded. We started walking again. We didn't talk. The cloud cover was low, so the light from the stars was muted and dull, casting just enough light to see where we were going and what immediately surrounded us.
About ten minutes later, we were able to see that indeed, Calder had been correct. We came upon a few small houses, far apart, and set back off the road. I followed Calder as he walked quietly to the house, around the side. There was a hose there, rolled up against the house, connected to a faucet. I breathed out in relief, practically able to taste the wetness in my dry mouth and feel it on my chapped lips. Calder gazed around, looking edgy. I was too thirsty to be nervous.
I squatted down by the house and turned the faucet. It came on with a squeak and the hose filled as the water traveled through it, bursting out the end that I held up to my lips. I drank thirstily for a few seconds—the water sweet and delicious—and then handed it to Calder who lay Xander down gently, straightened his back, stretching, before taking the hose and drinking thirstily.
Once we'd had as much as we needed, Calder turned off the water and stood staring down at Xander again before he picked him back up, putting him over his shoulder. He had to be in pain. As we begun to walk to the front of the house again, something big and dark suddenly lunged at us and I screamed, stumbling backward against Calder.
"What the hell?" he burst out, stumbling backward, too.
A large dog started barking and lunged at us again. I screamed one more time, until I realized the dog was chained up and was only lunging toward us as far as he could go.
The front door of the small house burst open and the porch light came on, illuminating a man holding a shotgun. "Who's there?" he called. "Show yourself!"
"Run," Calder said, so low I almost didn't hear it. He yanked my hand and I lurched after him. A shotgun blast sounded behind us and I let out a small scream again and kept running, holding on to Calder's hand for dear life. I heard Xander slur loudly, "What the hell?" as we ran. When we had made it to a grove of trees, far enough away to know we weren't being followed, we stopped and I put my hands on my thighs, breathing heavily. Calder lay Xander down on the ground and Xander sat up slowly, rubbing a hand over his face and looking around confused.
"What the hell?" he asked again, under his breath.
"You okay, Eden?" Calder asked, gasping for breath, and running his hands down my arms.
I nodded. "I'm fine. My feet are torn up, but other than that . . . yes, I'm fine." I sucked in air, too, trying to get hold of my rapidly beating heart and burning lungs.
We both looked down at our feet. Our sandals were barely hanging on, the straps that crisscrossed over our feet in serious danger of snapping and the soles coming loose so each time we stepped, they slapped against the ground.
Calder looked behind me and pointed. I turned around and looked through a break in the trees. The city looked close. Hope rose up in my chest and I turned back around to Calder, grinning. "How far do you think?" I asked in a rush of words.
Calder scratched his chin and looked over at Xander who was slowly standing up. "Three hours maybe?"
Xander kept looking in the direction of the city and then back at Calder. "You carried me all this way?" he asked, his voice very quiet.
"Yeah," Calder said, looking over at him. "You'd have done it for me, too."
Xander just studied him for a minute, his eyes filled with emotion. "Yeah," he said, the word sounding slightly strangled. "Yeah." He looked back out to the city, seeming to get his emotions under control.
"How's your back?" Calder asked.
Xander moved a little as if testing it. "It feels like a million bucks," Xander said. "Too bad we can't sell it for cash."
Calder grinned and then without speaking, we all turned and began to walk again. I had been exhausted, almost falling down with tiredness before we'd come upon the houses. But now I felt energized. We were so close.
We briefly told Xander what had happened with Hector and why I'd called them. His jaw was hard and he said, "You did the right thing, Eden."
After that, we walked silently again, Calder leading the way and Xander in the rear, the only sound our flapping sandals. When I glanced back at him, Xander still looked slightly out of it, like he was trying to clear the fog in his head. But his legs were working just fine and I was thankful Calder didn't have to bear his weight anymore.
Again we stuck to the areas next to the road that provided the most cover. Luckily, even though the large rocks were few and far between now, the vegetation had increased, so we moved between groves of trees and behind brush where we could.
When we had been walking for a couple hours, we saw bright lights moving closer to us in the distance and all stopped and moved behind some large, flowering bushes. The red and blue lights on top of a fast-moving car shot by us and as we watched it move away, the lights turned off, but it continued to drive in the opposite direction. I let out my breath.
"Police," Xander said.
I nodded. "It was going toward Acadia. Do you think Hector called the police?"
"Maybe," Calder said, standing up and taking my hand.
About three miles from the edge of the city, Calder's sandal gave out. He made an angry, frustrated sound and threw the broken straps into some brush. He dropped the useless sole onto the ground and turned around, putting both hands on the back of his neck and looked up at the sky.
"Here," I said, ripping off the hem of my skirt.
"What the hell are you doing?" Calder asked. He moved around me quickly to block my suddenly bare legs from Xander.
"I'm making you a shoe," I said. "My legs aren't going to get torn up on the road for being bare, but your foot is."
Xander chuckled. "She's right, Calder. Sit down. I'll use it to attach the sole to your foot so you can walk. We're so close."
Calder sat down on the road and let Xander tie my skirt hem around the sole and over his foot and around his ankle. When he stood up and tried it out, he shrugged. "This one feels better than the other one now."
I smiled. "Well good, I've got enough skirt to go around if we need more."
"Oh no you don't," Calder said, but a corner of his lips quirked up. He took my hand and we started walking again. Holding hands hadn't been something we could do before that moment. It made the sense of freedom that much sweeter.
The dirt road turned onto a highway and we walked along it for a while, keeping as far away from the actual road as we could so we were mostly out of sight by drivers passing by. Very large trucks went by with different names written on the sides in bold, bright lettering, their engine noise swelling and then receding as they passed by us in what seemed to be a flash.
We made it to the edge of the city just as the morning sun crested the horizon, shooting out golden rays as if in welcome. We'd walked all night long, but we had enough energy to grin at each other and grasp hands tightly as our feet stepped onto the first sidewalk I'd walked on since I was a small child. I supposed Xander and Calder had never seen a sidewalk, but I was too tired to ask at the moment.
After another half hour or so, Calder pointed. "There," he said. I followed his finger to a sign that read, "Holiday Inn" and the word "Hotel" beneath that. I wanted to weep with relief and happiness.
We stopped and Calder pulled me in to a large doorway and Xander followed, groaning softly as if in pain and leaning back against the wall.
"Listen," Calder said softly. "I think Xander should go in and try to buy us a room. He knows the most about money and talking to people. Plus, he's in regular clothes and his shoes look better than ours since he didn't walk for as long in them." Calder looked at Xander. "Eden and I will walk inside in twenty minutes or so and you wait somewhere where we can see you. We'll follow you from there."
Xander shrugged, his face pale. "Sounds like as good a plan as any."
Calder studied him for a minute. "Let me see your back."
Xander looked like he thought about protesting, but then turned around. Small dots of blood stained the back of his shirt, making the dark material darker in spots. I sucked in a breath. "It's really not that bad," Xander said. "I think I just need to change the dressings."
Calder lifted up Xander's shirt and checked under an edge of the cotton dressings. I couldn't see what he was seeing from where I was, but Calder frowned and put the shirt back down. "Okay, we'll get you cleaned up when we get inside." He pushed Xander gently toward the hotel and handed him the canvas bag, I guessed so it looked like he was a traveler. "Make me proud," he said, winking.
Xander laughed. "Don't I always?" He turned around and walked backward for a second, "Twenty minutes," he said. We nodded and he turned and walked quickly to the front door as we watched.
I sighed and leaned back against the doorway like Xander had just done.
"How you doing, Morning Glory?" Calder asked softly, walking over to me and leaning into me as he put his arms around my neck.
I put my arms around his waist and burrowed into his chest, inhaling his comforting scent. I nodded my head up and down indicating I was fine.
I turned my head to the side so that my cheek was resting against his shirt. "Do you think he's looking for us?"
Calder was silent for a few seconds. "I don't know. But it doesn't matter. He won't find us. This is a big, big city, and by tomorrow, we'll just be any ordinary people, in ordinary clothes, doing ordinary things."
I nodded my head, wondering if I'd ever feel ordinary.
We leaned against each other quietly and after a few minutes, I closed my eyes and rested against him. After what seemed like just seconds, Calder nudged me.
"I think it's been about twenty minutes. Let's go."
I took a deep breath as Calder leaned back and took my hand. "Stay just a little behind me and don’t make eye contact with anyone. But don't look nervous either," he instructed as we started walking.
A minute later, we were pulling open the doors of the Holiday Inn, me holding Calder's hand and walking slightly behind him. The lobby was mostly deserted, except for an older man using a vacuum on the carpet. He was humming softly as he worked. He didn't even look back at us. There was a sign that said, "Check In" with an arrow pointing around the corner. I let out a breath. We wouldn't even have to walk past anyone.
Suddenly, Xander walked out of a hallway. "Hey guys," he said, "going up?" He winked and walked toward a sign that said, "Elevators."
We both sucked in a surprised breath and followed, my heart leaping with hopeful excitement. Calder squeezed my hand. Xander frowned at the doors on both sides of the hallway as he looked between them and the card in his hand. I leaned forward and pressed the up arrow. Sometimes I knew something and I couldn't remember how or why—I figured it had to be something I'd learned in the past—but the specific memory or memories of actually doing it were gone.
A second later, the doors in front of us dinged open and we all peered inside, Xander stepping in first, Calder and I following behind. When we were in, Xander looked at the card in his hand again and said, "ten," under his breath. Then he looked at the buttons on the wall and pressed the number ten.
The doors closed and the elevator lurched. Calder sucked in a breath and put one palm on each wall, bracing himself. I laughed softly and Xander looked back at him and laughed, too, and then the elevator was rising swiftly. When it stopped and the doors opened, Calder grabbed me and jumped off, stumbling away from the open doors as quickly as possible. I couldn't help grinning. Calder looked at me and shook his head. "That can't be natural."
Xander snickered. "You can take the stairs tomorrow." He pointed at a sign that said, "Stairway."
Calder nodded. "I will." He looked back at the sign. "At least everything's labeled in the outside world." I tilted my head at Calder and laughed softly, raising my eyebrows.
We followed more signs to get to the door with the number on the card Xander carried and then took a few minutes to figure out that we opened the door using the card. It was like some kind of electronic key.
When we spilled into the dim room and shut the door behind us, we stood there still for a minute, looking around. Were we really here? Had we made it? Joy, swift and complete filled my body and I let out a small incredulous laugh and launched myself into Calder's arms, laughing and crying at the same time. He picked me up and laughed into my neck, squeezing me tight.
"Well, thanks for nothing. I'm the one who got us in here with my easy charm and winning smile," Xander grumped as he walked to the bed by the far wall and put down the bag we'd all taken turns carrying once Xander could walk.
Calder set me down and we both walked over to him. I pulled his shirt so we could all hug, although Calder and I were both careful not to touch his back as he laughed and patted our shoulders. "We did it, partners," he said.
"Was it hard?" Calder asked, "Getting this room, I mean?"
"Nah," Xander said. "It was easy actually. The kid at the front desk looked like he was falling asleep, probably about to get off shift. I paid in cash and signed a form and that was that."
"How much did it cost?" I asked.
"Two hundred forty dollars," Xander said. "I rented it for two nights. I know that's a lot. But now we have time to get in touch with Kristi, get some clothes for you," he nodded at me, "and try to pawn the gold." I nodded, stifling a yawn.
"First though," Calder said, "we're going to get cleaned up and get some sleep. Xander, go shower and then I'll rebandage your back."
"Okay, the guy at the front desk said there was an ice machine on every floor. Maybe if I put some ice on it for a little while, it will help with some of the pain now that those magical herbs are wearing off." Xander winked, but then grimaced as he adjusted himself slightly, and then started walking toward the bathroom.
After he shut the door, I turned to Calder. "Have you guys ever used pain relief? Like Tylenol?"
Calder looked at me blankly and shook his head. "I know what it is. That's one of the things people who lived outside before Acadia talk about missing, but no, I've never used it."
I nodded. "We need to get some for Xander."
Calder sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "That'll have to wait until tomorrow. I think we all need rest more than Xander needs pain relief. Especially since he's done without it all his life."
I nodded and yawned again. "Okay, go get ice and come right back."
"Do you think it costs money?"
I frowned. "I don't know. Take some money just in case."
Calder nodded and grabbed the bag on Xander's bed and took out some change and put it in his jeans pocket.
Calder pulled me toward him, kissed my lips, and then turned and walked out the door.
I sank down onto the other bed and lay back, sighing out at the feel of the soft mattress beneath my back. I started drifting off and forced myself to sit up. If I fell asleep, I'd never wake up. And I wanted to shower and tend to my practically black, dirt-crusted, blistered feet before I got in this clean bed. I was going to sleep in a bed with Calder for the very first time. A thrill shot down my spine, despite my exhausted state. Yes, we were in a hotel and yes, Xander would be sleeping right next to us, but still, I was going to be under blankets with Calder. I felt giddy.
I should have gone with him to get the ice. It would have kept me awake. I left the hotel room and stepped out into the hallway looking both ways. The floor was quiet, not a person in sight. I turned a corner and saw a sign for "Ice," and breathed out a smile. Everything was labeled in the outside world, thankfully. I followed the sign and when I rounded the corner, I saw Calder standing in front of a big Coke machine. He turned and startled when he saw me and then for some reason, looked embarrassed. "I got some food for us," he said, glancing at the machine just a little ways down the hall.
I smiled at him and tilted my head, looking back at the Coke machine. "Soda," I said. "Do you want to try one?"
Calder put his hands in his pockets. "I've had Coca-Cola before," he said. "Ranger station."
"Ah." I studied him. "Let's get one."
He shook his head. "No, no, we shouldn't waste our money on this."
I laughed softly. "Calder, it's only a dollar. Let's splurge. Just this once." I winked at him. He looked so torn.
"I don't really need it," he said.
I reached in his front pocket and grabbed a handful of change, raising one brow at him. "We'll share it. By the way, I haven't had a chance to tell you how much I like you in jeans."
Calder grinned at me as I walked back to the Coke machine and deposited four quarters. The soda can dropped noisily and I bent down and retrieved it, handing it to Calder. He took it and studied it like it was a delicate piece of expensive jewelry. I grinned at him. "I take it you like Coke?"
"Coke? Is that what it's called?"
I shrugged. "Yeah, it's like the shortened name. It's what most people call it."
He nodded, frowning down at the can. "I feel like there are so many things to learn, so many things to catch up on. I feel like I just moved to another planet."
I let out a breathy laugh. "You kinda did." I was quiet for a second, thinking. "I know how you feel. I know I experienced more up at the main lodge, but I still have a lot to figure out, too." I held out my hand. "We'll figure it out together, okay?"
Calder smiled gently at me. "Yeah." He grasped my hand, brought it up to his lips, kissed it, and then feathered his lips over it softly. Butterflies fluttered between my ribs.
"We better get back with that ice," he whispered.
I nodded. "Okay."
We turned the corner into the small alcove with another sign for ice. There were a few small containers sitting next to it and Calder picked one up and started filling it with ice. I looked behind us and saw the small machine on the wall, holding Tylenol, Advil, feminine protection products, and, I moved closer, reading the last product, Trojan Condoms. I didn't know what those were and so I squinted at the small package. "Ultra thin contraception," I read.
Calder came up behind me. "Oh, lucky. Tylenol."
I laughed softly and then dropped the coins into the machine and retrieved the two small, square packages of pain relief, putting it into my skirt pocket.
I noticed a supply closet. "Let's see if there's something in there to use for bandages for Xander."
Calder opened the door and we looked over the shelves of toilet paper and towels.
"A first aid kit," I said, excitedly, bending down and retrieving it from the lowest shelf. "Perfect. There will be bandages in here."
"Good," Calder said. "Let's go."
As we were walking out, two girls about our age were walking in and I watched as both their eyes lingered on Calder.
I resisted the urge to stick my foot out and trip them both. Instead, I stuck my empty hand in Calder's back pocket and looked back at them and smiled prettily when I saw they were watching his backside as we walked away.
Calder chuckled softly.
I looked down at my ripped skirt, and my dirty feet, barely contained in the broken sandals and sighed. I ran my hand through my tangled hair. "Those girls probably think you rescued me out of some gutter, like some of the women who come to Acadia."
Calder leaned down and whispered in my ear. "I like my women fresh from the gutter."
I rolled my eyes and knocked softly on our hotel room door. A few seconds later, Xander swung it open, standing in only a towel wrapped around his waist. "Hot water comes right out of the faucet," he said excitedly.
I laughed and so did Calder, shutting the door behind him.
"Here," I said, handing Xander one package of Tylenol. "Take this and Calder will get you bandaged up. I'm going to go take a shower."
I headed off to the bathroom as Xander moved toward the bed. I cringed when I saw how bad his back still looked. We're far away from there, I thought. We're safe.
In the bathroom, I stripped out of my clothes, balled them up, and put them in the trash. There was a robe on the back of the door. I'd have to use that until Calder and Xander could get out and buy me something to wear. My clothes were filthy tatters. I dropped my sandals in the garbage, too, and cringed down at my feet. I washed my underwear and bra in the sink with soap and hot water and then hung them to dry.
I turned the shower to as hot as I could stand it and then stepped under the spray, sighing as the warmth cascaded over me. I washed my hair twice and conditioned it, and then sat down on the floor of the tub and used a washcloth and a bar of soap to clean my feet. Once they were clean, the blisters were easier to see, but they still looked a hundred times better.
As I sat there on the floor of the shower tub, a wave of emotion suddenly overtook me. I pictured Hailey and the four little boys I had grown to love. I'd never see them again. As happy as I was to be out of Acadia, a feeling of melancholy swept through me when I realized everything I knew and was familiar with was no longer a part of my life.
When the shower curtain was suddenly pulled aside, I squealed out and startled, scooting backward and hitting my tailbone on the side of the tub.
"Whoa, sorry, sorry," Calder said, stepping into the shower with me. I put one hand on my chest and wiped my tears with the other one. He reached down and pulled me up to him.
"Hey, Morning Glory," he said softly, pulling me into his chest. "What's wrong?"
I shook my head, a new batch of tears rolling down my cheeks. "I don't even know," I squeaked. "I just realized I'd never see Hailey again . . . never see our spring . . . We fell in love there." I gazed up at him sadly.
Calder smiled gently, wiping my tears with his thumb. "We'll fall in love a thousand times again," he whispered, "in all kinds of new places."
I managed a small smile and sniffled.
"Okay?" he asked, brushing his lips over mine.
I nodded. "Okay," I whispered back.
Calder studied my face for a few seconds. "I'm going to take care of you, Morning Glory."
"I know," I whispered. And that was the thing I loved most about Calder. He didn't just protect me in physical ways. He protected all of me: my heart, my feelings, and my moods. I loved him to the depth of my soul. "I'm going to take care of you, too."
He grinned. "I know."
He kissed me gently and when our heads moved under the spray, he broke free and laughed, and put his hand out to feel the water. This was his first shower.
I turned us around so he was the one directly under the showerhead and he sputtered and grinned. His joy was contagious.
"Xander?" I asked, feeling strange he would know we were in the shower together.
"He fell asleep again before I was even done bandaging him. I think the Tylenol started working and the relief put him right out. I guess being carried on someone's back for twenty miles expends a lot of energy."
I laughed softly and nodded, picking up the bottle of shampoo and pouring some in my hand. I reached up to rub it in his hair and he bent forward so I could reach.
I lathered his hair and ran the pads of my fingers over his scalp, working the shampoo through. He moaned softly, closing his eyes. I smiled, running my fingers behind his ears and around the back of his neck. "Lean back," I said quietly.
Once all the shampoo was rinsed out of his hair, I took the bar of soap and said, "Turn around."
Calder turned under the spray and I lathered up my hands and ran them over the beautiful muscles of his smooth back, massaging his shoulders with the slippery soap. He hung his head and braced one hand on the tiles in front of him and sighed. He was wet, and hard and big. I ran my hands down his muscled backside and cleaned the backs of his legs. When I got to his feet, he turned around and I reached for the washcloth and did the same thing for him I had done for myself, washing the hours and hours of road grime off him, taking care not to hurt the wounded parts of his feet.
I worked my way back up the front of his legs, kissing the healed, but scarred skin covered by dark hair. I slowly massaged his muscular thighs and moved my eyes upward slowly. Just above my hands, he was hard and rigid, and when I leaned my head back and looked up into his face, his eyes were half-lidded and full of lust. I swallowed, standing slowly.
"Sorry," he said softly, "I can't help that. Your hands feel so good."
I lathered my hands up once more and slid them over his chest, his muscles tensing beneath my touch. I ran my hands down his arms and then brought each hand up, cleaning between his fingers slowly. His chest rose and fell as his breathing increased. My heartbeat accelerated as well.
I looked into his eyes. Taking one finger, I brought it to my lips and feathered them over it before opening and sucking it gently into my mouth. He sucked in a loud breath and pushed his finger in slowly. I sucked at it again, laving my tongue around it and closing my eyes. Calder moaned deep in his chest.
Suddenly, he brought his finger out of my mouth with a pop and took my face in his hands, bringing his mouth to mine. He plunged his tongue in and I met it with mine, swirling and tasting, bringing my arms up and around his neck. I pressed my wet body to his and moaned out softly at the feel of my nipples rubbing against his chest. Around us the steam swirled and the water rained against the tile, blocking out all other sounds except for our mingled breath and soft moans.
Calder kissed down my neck as he pressed that hot, hard part of him into my belly, moving it in slow circles. I leaned my head back and sighed. The tingly feeling grew between my legs and my heart started beating a slow, steady rhythm in my core. "I want you inside me," I whispered. This was our reward for what we'd just endured. We deserved this, needed it.
Calder's mouth came back to mine as he walked me a couple steps back until I was pressed against the wall of the shower. I put one leg up on the small corner edge of the tub and Calder bent his legs and guided himself to my opening. We laughed softly when it took him several tries to get things lined up properly. But finally, he pushed into me and we both sighed in bliss. Calder moved slowly and deliberately. I took my arms from around him and used my palms behind me to keep steady and to stop my skin from slapping against the tile.
"You're so damned tight, so hot," Calder panted out against my neck, thrusting steadily into me. For me, this time felt much better than the first time and I relaxed into him, moaning softly as I gripped him deep inside me.
Calder took his thumb and reached down, circling it slowly on my sensitive bundle of nerves that made me press forward into him and breathe out harshly. My nipples pebbled and I leaned my head back against the tile, trying to focus on the many varied sensations and feelings.
When I felt his warm, wet mouth cover one nipple, I gasped, hot pleasure shooting from my breast to between my legs, right where Calder's thumb circled faster and faster. "That's . . . oh, please, don't stop, it's so good," I panted. I felt rather than heard Calder's own moan as he switched nipples and drew it deep into his mouth, sucking gently.
I had no idea where he ended and I began, only that we moved together, seeming to have melted into one unit. The heat of the shower—of him—had gotten to my head, surely. I was half out of my mind with emotion, exhaustion, love, and awe-inducing pleasure.
That overwhelming tingly feeling increased, and more intense, hot pinpoints of light grew and burst, white pleasure shimmering around me as I clenched and shuddered, and then cried out softly in his arms. Wave after wave of glorious pleasure overcame me. Calder's thrusts grew short and shallow, and I watched him as his eyes closed and his lips parted, and he looked almost pained. Nothing in this world could possibly be more beautiful. My own body clenched again as an aftershock swept through me at the sight of his pleasure.
Right then, if he had asked me to walk another twenty miles, barefoot this time, I would have.
Suddenly, he grunted, a sound somewhere between bliss and pain. He pulled out of me quickly, pressing into my stomach, and falling into me, moaning against my neck. I felt his hot, sticky fluid dripping down my skin.
He pulled back, panting harshly, and put his forehead to mine and we both just breathed that way for a minute. I'd never felt closer to Calder. Being able to make love without being found out only added to the pleasure.
"I'll never, ever forget my first shower," Calder whispered.
I laughed softly. "As far as showers go, that was a pretty good one for me, too."
Calder laughed. We cleaned ourselves quickly and then turned the water off, stepped out, and dried each other tenderly.
Calder used the towel to blot my hair dry until it was just slightly damp. I put on the robe on the back of the door and Calder tied a towel around his waist.
We didn't have toothbrushes, but used a small bottle of mouthwash provided by the hotel. Calder watched me as I swished it in my mouth and then spit it down the drain and then followed my lead. We'd have to get a few necessities tomorrow.
We turned off the light and stepped into the room where the air conditioning was on high, creating a steady hum blocking out any noise. Xander was lying on his stomach on the bed near the window, snoring softly.
It was morning, but the heavy drapes were pulled tight and blocked out almost all light.
Calder and I climbed under the blankets and turned toward each other in the dim room. Calder pushed my hair out of my face. "I love you, Morning Glory," he whispered.
"I love you, too, Butterscotch," I said back, my heavy eyelids closing of their own will. Calder's warmth surrounded me. I was finally sleeping in a bed with him. Joy filled my heart. Minutes later, I was fast asleep.

**********

When I woke late that afternoon, disoriented and heavy with sleep, the smell of Calder still surrounding me, I reached for him, but he wasn't there.
I sat up, bringing the blankets up with me, as my robe had fallen open while sleeping. I immediately spotted the note on the nightstand next to me and picked it up.


Morning Glory,
We went to get some clothes and shoes and other necessities. We'll bring back some food, too.
I love you. C.
P.S. Sleeping on an actual mattress for the first time came in second to sleeping next to you.


I grinned and set the note back down, noticing he'd left a bag of peanuts and the still unopened Coke on the table for me, too. His thoughtfulness caused me to smile. I stretched and got out of bed. After using the bathroom and freshening up, I ate the bag of peanuts and drank a bottle of water the hotel provided.
I flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, feeling happy, feeling safe, and feeling free.