CHAPTER 14
I had brought a plain, black sheath dress with a black lace shawl to wear to the wake. I put thigh high hose on with my plain black 3-inch pumps. Thankfully, Pete and Amie had boxed up all of the food Mom had made and driven it over to the Camerucci’s to drop off. I had stayed back at the house offering to watch Ethan.
He was down for a nap at the moment. I watched him sleeping in his portable crib, thinking how sweet and innocent he looked. His thumb was in his mouth. He was very content. I knew Pete and Amie were good parents. I also knew that Angie and Leo Camerucci had been good parents to Nicholas as well. That was why I had never told anyone in my family about what had happened that year I lived with Nick in Atlantic City. I knew it would have torn the friendship apart. I somehow felt that I had to accept part of the blame. I had continually managed to piss Nick off; I had learned fairly quickly what his hot buttons were, but I had continued to push them. He had pointed that out to me on many occasions.
I thought back to the time after he had first hit me. I realized that the drugs were playing a major part in how he had been behaving. I was not about to tuck my tail between my legs and run back home to Hoboken. Nick was the man that I loved. I would be with him through thick and thin. I had to keep trying if we were going to make the relationship work.
About a month and a half after our first blow-up, Nick had promised me that he would wean himself off of the coke. I knew that he had to in large part because he had been given a couple of disciplinary write-ups at the casino. One more strike and Nick was going to be fired. I had watched from a distance and it did seem as if Nick was cutting back. We had more cash than usual; his moods had become more depressed than manic. I had figured that was all part of getting clean. He had gained some of the weight he had lost back which was also a fairly good indicator for me that he was keeping his promise.
It had been Labor Day weekend. Atlantic City was crawling with end of summer tourists and gamblers. Nick and I had worked Friday night together, and Saturday day shift. We had made out like bandits on our tips. Stephanie, one of my co-workers, and the only real girlfriend I had there had called in before my shift ended and asked if I could take her shift that evening. She had the flu. I had told her I would check with Nick and call her right back. I knew by this time that I didn’t make decisions like that without Nick’s approval.
I had gone over to his table on my break. He was just getting relieved for his break.
“Stephanie called, Nick. She wondered if I would take her shift for her tonight. She has the flu. I told her I needed to check with you to make sure we didn’t have any plans for tonight.”
“I don’t know, baby. Do you really feel like pulling a double?”
“I mean, I don’t mind. We could use the money. It’s up to you, though.”
“Baby, if you’re up to it, then it’s okay with me. Do you need to keep the car or do you want me to pick you up after your shift?”
“If you wouldn’t mind picking me up, that would be great. I hate driving home that late by myself.”
“You got it, baby,” he had said, leaning down and kissing my lips, softly.
“I love you, Nick.”
“I love you back, Gina.”
Nick had left after his shift ended. He had stopped by my table to tell me that he would be outside in the back parking lot at 1:00 am to pick me up. He had kissed me good-bye and left.
I had made out well tip-wise taking Stephanie’s shift. I had netted a little over $500 in tips for the day. I went out to the huge parking lot in the back which was less full than the others. I searched all over for Nick’s car. It wasn’t there. I tried his pager but then I remembered that it had been shut off until he got his bill paid current. It was after 1:30 when Manny came out to see if something was wrong.
“Jesus Christ, Gina. Security called up saying someone was loitering in the back lot. What are you still doing here?”
“I’m waiting on Nick. I’m betting he fell asleep. His pager is shut off.”
“Christ,” he had said, rolling his eyes. “If my daughter ever gets involved with a slug like Nick, I will disown the hell out of her. Hang tight. I’ll send the hotel limo back here to take you home.”
“No - Manny. That’s not necessary. I’m sure Nick will be here soon.”
“I insist,” he had said, going back inside, shaking his head the whole way and mumbling.
The hotel limo picked me up as promised and dropped me at our apartment complex. I saw Nick’s car parked in front of our building. I had breathed a sigh of relief. He would have been totally pissed if he had driven to the casino and found that I had taken alternate transportation. That had been one argument I had avoided.
I had let myself into the apartment quietly, expecting to find Nick sprawled out on the couch asleep. The television was on, but he was nowhere to be seen. It was then that I had noticed the razor blade, two skinny straws and residual white powder on our black glass coffee table.
(Shit! He had been getting high again.)
I had reached my limit with his cocaine use. I had decided that if Nick relapsed, I was gone. As much as I had loved him, I would not, could not watch him destroy himself. I headed toward the bedroom to tell him just that. As I had reached the door, I had heard voices inside. It was Nick’s voice, and a female voice. Nick’s voice had been moaning.
“That’s it baby; oh yeah, your cunt is so nice and tight. Keep riding it baby; that’s it.”
The female voice had been soft moans and groans of pleasure.
I had opened the door full force, letting it slam against the bedroom wall. They had both been startled. I had been even more startled when I saw that it was my friend Stephanie, supposedly home sick with the flu, riding Nick’s cock up and down, moaning.
Stephanie had immediately freaked when she saw me. She had quickly lifted herself up and off of him, blubbering apologies at me, saying she had only meant to get high with him. She had grabbed her clothing up off the floor, putting it on as I had stood frozen in shock.
It had been like everything happened fast, but then in slow motion when I replayed it in my mind. Before I knew it, Stephanie had managed to cover most of her critical parts and was out the door of our apartment.
Nick had risen up off of our bed and came over to where I was standing, still frozen to the floor. His erection was still very much intact.
“You interrupted me, Gina. I didn’t get to finish what I started with Stephanie. I didn’t get my nut because of you barging in here like that.”
His voice had been steely cold and menacing.
“I guess that means that you get to finish me. Then we will talk about your rudeness to my guest.”
“Nick-” I had started, ready to lay into him with every bit of Italian temper I possessed. His hand had silenced me as it cracked against my face, not once, not twice, but three times. I had tasted the blood in my mouth.
His hands roughly pressed my shoulders down; forcing me to kneel in front of him.
“Suck me, bitch,” he had ordered. “Stephanie got me hard; now you are going to finish me off.”
I had clamped my mouth shut tightly. My eyes were squeezed closed as he moved closer to me. I could smell the scent of her pu-ssy on his cock. I had wanted to vomit. I felt his hands in my hair as he grabbed a fistful and yanked it upward, forcing my eyes to open and my lips to part as I had cried out in pain. His hand slapped my face again.
He had then shoved himself into my mouth; once again ordering me to suck. I had felt like I was going to suffocate as he held my head in place with his hands and continued to push in and out of my mouth, yelling for me to suck him. I had finally decided that I had no choice but to do as he ordered. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I had sucked Nick’s cock until he had finally and blessedly climaxed.
I remembered now how I had gotten to my feet and went to the bathroom. I had calmly stuck my finger to the back of my throat finding my gag reflex and allowed myself to vomit it all back up into the sink. I had brushed my teeth and gargled for twenty minutes. To this day, I can still taste the stench of it when I think about it. I still have the need to vomit.
I had left Atlantic City the following day while Nick was at work. I had packed my clothing, called a cab and took a Greyhound home to Hoboken. I had simply told my parents that Nick and I had broken up. I hadn’t been the least bit prepared for the fact that Nick was not about to let me go that easily.