CHAPTER 13
Tristan took me to the airport the following Tuesday to catch my flight to Newark. I had a sick feeling of dread about going to the funeral. I had loved Mrs. Camerucci. She had always done right by me. It was Nick that I dreaded seeing. I hadn’t seen him since I had left Atlantic City all those years ago. That was no accident either, it was planned. I hadn’t wanted to see him again after I left him. It was too painful.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you, Gina?” Tristan asked as he walked me into the terminal. “I can still arrange for someone to cover for me if you want me there with you.”
“Tristan, it is fine. It is one night. I can manage.”
“I know you can manage. I just thought maybe you would like my company while you did.”
He was so fucking sweet at times; most of the time, actually.
“Truthfully Tristan, I will feel better knowing you are keeping things in order at the club.”
He walked with me until we got to the security check. He handed me my carry-on bag.
“I’ll be here to pick you up tomorrow evening, Gina. Call me later when you get in, okay?”
“I will, Tristan.”
He leaned down giving me a warm kiss on my lips.
“I love you, Gina.”
“Right back at you, Tristan.”
My mother was busy in the kitchen when Dad brought me home from the airport. I knew she would be cooking up all kinds of Italian dishes to take over to the Camerucci’s. It was customary. I smelled the aroma as soon as I was in the door. I shed my coat and immediately went to her in the kitchen.
“Oh Mom,” I said, wrapping my arms around her apron clad body. “I’m so sorry, Mom.”
“Gina Marie,” she said, tears flowing now, “I’m so glad you made it. I know Angie is watching us from heaven. We were best friends for more than forty years. She was only fifty-four. I don’t know how Leo will manage.”
“I know, Mom. It will be tough. But Leo is strong, right?”
She nodded, pulling a tissue from the pocket of her apron to wipe her nose.
“Where’s Pete and Amie?” I asked.
“They’re driving in from Philly,” she said, sniffling. “They should be here anytime.”
“And Nick?” I asked, hesitantly.
“He’s in from the city with his wife, Teresa. He’s been helping Leo with the arrangements. You’re not going to be uncomfortable seeing Nick, are you?”
“What? No Mom. That was a long time ago.”
“I suppose time has healed his broken heart by now. You know he was devastated when you left him like that, Gina. Angie said she had never seen him so distraught. He never would tell us what happened. Neither would you, Gina. Angie and I had always thought the two of you would marry and raise a pack of children. Had you already met Ian, Gina? Is that why you left him?”
“No, Mom. I didn’t meet Ian until after I had already left Nick. I told you, things just didn’t work out. Come on; let me help you stuff the cannelloni.”
I needed to get her off the subject of Nick. I told her that things were going well with Tristan and me. She already had a bit of an attitude about him not coming with me. I assured her that it had been at my insistence.
After we finished up in the kitchen, I went upstairs to my old bedroom. Everything was as if I had never moved away. I looked at the pictures still taped to my dresser mirror. There was still a picture of me and Nick when he took me to my senior prom. He had already graduated and moved to Atlantic City. He had made a trip home in order to take me to prom. He didn’t want any other guy taking me. It wasn’t as if I had them lined up waiting to ask.
I pulled the picture down of me in my high school graduation robe. Nick was standing beside me with his arm wrapped possessively around me. His dark, brooding good looks had always mesmerized me. Now they gave me chills. I remembered how I had left Hoboken two days after graduation to join Nick in Atlantic City. He dealt blackjack in one of the major casinos. He was going to get me a job as a dealer there, too. He had spent hours training me on the proper way to deal the deck. It was going to be perfect.
My parents had wanted me to go to college. It was no use. I was strong-willed and I wanted to be with Nick. I had always had a thing for Nick. As a kid, I had hounded Pete and Nick to the point of exasperation (on Pete’s part). Nick had always tolerated me as if I were his little sister.
Once I had gotten to high school, Nick started noticing me as something other than Pete’s tag-along sister. We had started dating at the end of my sophomore year. He and Pete were seniors. I remember how my status had gone from ‘geek’ to ‘sheik’ when my classmates saw Nick and I walking together in the hall; eating lunch together in the cafeteria, and squealing tires out of the parking lot after school.
Seeing Nick had always generated butterflies with me. All of the girls had told me how lucky I was to be going with Nick Camerucci. I had believed them. I had felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
My first time had been with Nick. I remembered it like it was yesterday. It was the summer going into my senior year. Nick had been going to the community college and had finished up his first year. He wasn’t going back, he had said. He had hated his classes. He was convinced he could make more money in Atlantic City. I had been devastated about him leaving Hoboken.
We had gone to the only drive-in movie theatre left in that part of the state. It was the only place we could go for privacy without one of our mothers hovering over us. We had been making out, with some heavy petting tossed in as usual. Nick had wanted to go further as usual.
“Nick, no!”
“God damn it, Gina. We’ve done everything else. What the hell?”
“It’s too tacky doing it in the car. It needs to be special.”
“It ain’t like I can afford a hotel right now,” he had grumbled.
“That back seat is plenty big. I even brought a blanket.”
“I can see that,” I had said, “How romantic.”
I had finally given in because quite frankly, there was no good reason not to. We had hoisted ourselves over into the backseat of his old Pontiac Bonneville and covered ourselves with the blanket. Nick had deflowered me with one swift thrust, and then continued to pound in and out of me while I thrashed around trying to stifle my tears. It had not been a sweet and tender moment.
Afterwards Nick had said that I needed to get on birth control because he had no intention of minimizing the sensation by using condoms. So I had.
Nick had left for Atlantic City when school started back up. It was more than a month before I had heard from him again. I had gone nuts wondering what might have happened to him. I had been sure he had met someone else; a girl more worthy of his swarthy good looks and muscular body; his thick, black, curly hair and dark, brooding brown eyes.
When he had finally called, he was manic. He talked a mile a minute about his new job at the casino; the apartment he had rented. He wanted me there on weekends. I knew that my parents would have something to say about that. The rest of my senior year had been spent missing Nick; sneaking to Atlantic City to stay with him on the weekends when I could, and waiting for his calls when we were apart.
I had lived for graduation day. It had meant my freedom from school, parents, rules and curfews. I hadn’t wasted a minute packing for my move to Atlantic City afterwards. Nick and I would be living together as a couple. I couldn’t wait.
As promised, Nick was able to get a job for me at the casino where he worked. It was one that allowed employees to be age eighteen minimum. The money was great; the pressure was something else. Everything was video recorded. You had a pit boss to answer to if the house was suffering more losses than wins at your table.
Nick and I had enjoyed ourselves after hours. We had met friends our age at the casino and we hung out a lot. A couple of months after I had arrived, I noticed that Nick was partying quite a bit with his buddy, Victor. He would party all night and then sleep most of the following day. He had called off twice in one week.
I had driven his car back to our apartment after my shift on one particular day. I had cashed my paycheck and had collected over $250 in tips at the table. When I got into the door, Nick was flopped on the couch drinking coffee.
“Did you pick up my pay envelope, Gina?”
“I tried to Nick. Manny said you would have to get it yourself since we aren’t married.”
“What a bunch of shit,” he had yelled. “Gimme your pay envelope. I need some cash in about ten minutes. I’ll pay you back when I get mine.”
“No, Nick. I need my money for bills I have to pay this week. You don’t go back on the clock until Monday. I checked the schedule before I left.”
“What the fuck? Are you serious? Do you mean to tell me that I got screwed out of my Saturday shift?”
“Looks like it, Nick. What did you expect? You’ve called off work twice this week. Manny is definitely not happy with you at the moment.”
I was caught off guard when Nick suddenly raised his arm and backhanded me across the cheek twice. The force of it had knocked me back against the kitchen counter where our dishes in the drainer went crashing into the sink.
“Don’t you fucking talk to me in that tone, Gina! Do you understand me?”
He had my face pulled up opposite his; his fingers dug into my skin as he squeezed my cheeks. I had been frightened by the fury that I saw in his eyes. All I could do was nod. He had finally let me go, shoving me away from him.
“Go clean your face up,” he had snarled. He had turned away from me. I had watched as he grabbed my pay envelope and helped himself to some cash. I had then fled to the bathroom. I remembered how my lip had bled, along with my nose. I had been in total shock at Nick’s outburst.
I had not emerged from the bathroom for a good half hour or more. When I had, most of my cash was gone. Nick was sitting on the couch, snorting a line of coke off of the coffee table. He had looked up and smiled at me; his mood had been transformed by the potent, white powder.
“Hey baby,” he had crooned to me, “Come here.” I hadn’t wanted to get near him; but after what he had done to me, I had been afraid not to do as he instructed.
I had approached him cautiously.
“Want to do a line, Gina?” he had asked, handing me the skinny straw.
“I don’t think so, Nick,” I had replied.
“Suit yourself, babe; more for me.”
He had snorted another line and then pulled me down on the couch next to him.
“Hey baby; I’m sorry things got a little rough earlier. I was just pissed, you know? They are really fucking with me at work. You get that, don’t you?”
“Nick,” I had pleaded, “I love you. I don’t want anything to happen to you, baby. Coke is not how to deal with the stress.”
“You’re right, baby. I know what the best thing is for my stress.”
He had reclined back on the coach, pulling me on top of him. His lips crushed mine; his hand was behind my head pushing my face into his. My lip was still bruised and tender from when he had backhanded me.
“Nick, please. We need to talk.”
“We’ll talk later, Gina. Right now, we’re going to fuck.”
He had pulled my jeans down past my hips, trapping my legs in the waistband. I had felt his hand underneath my pelvis, unzipping the fly on his jeans to allow his erect penis to spring free.
He raised me up and freed one of my legs from my jeans so that he could spread my legs apart. He guided me down onto his swollen cock. I wasn’t the least bit wet for him at this point. It had hurt when he had then thrust himself the rest of the way into me. I had cried out in pain.
“You love that don’t you, baby?” he had asked. Nick was usually pretty rough in the sack, but not being allowed to get lubricated made it worse than usual. “This is how it should be; you and me fucking like this; not arguing about nonsense. Don’t make me have to punish you again, Gina. You need to watch your mouth with me.”
He had continued to pump in and out of me with no thought or care that he was tearing me up inside. The cocaine had seemed to make him last and last. I had prayed to God to let him come; mercifully, he finally did. I remembered I had to soak in a warm tub of water for several hours afterwards. My face had bruises and my private parts were swollen from his relentless pounding and my lack of lubrication. My next shift at the casino had not come early enough to suit me.
My thoughts were interrupted when my mother hollered up that Pete, Amie and Ethan had arrived. I ran my fingers through my hair and went downstairs to join them.