A Castle of Sand (A Shade of Vampire 3)

CHAPTER 21: DEREK

I knew it would happen, but it still hurt that it did. After our discussion about the culling and my admittance that there was nothing I could do to stop it, Sofia avoided spending time with me. I knew her well enough to know that she had the tendency to do this when she needed to think things through.

She needed space and I willingly gave it to her. I did, however, station guards to keep an eye on her and update me on what she was doing. I couldn’t risk leaving her unprotected because of the recent bout I had with my father. Despite the regular updates, however, I still found myself missing her sorely. I spent most of my time at the training grounds, focusing my energies on the military training I knew The Shade was in desperate need for.

I’d just finished a rather tough fight with one of the best fighters we had—Xavier Vaughn—when a familiar face showed up at the training grounds.

Ashley. I hadn’t dared visit her since her turning, but I’d kept up-to-date with her through Kyle and Sam. It was strange seeing her and not getting that intense craving to feed on her. She looked incredible as a vampire, her brown eyes having a far more brilliant sheen than they used to.

“Hey, baby vampire,” I greeted her, ignoring the irritated look on her face.

“New harem girls, Derek? Really?”

Xavier, while still trying to catch his breath from our fight, raised a brow at her. He usually skipped formalities and called me by name, but as far as he and the rest of the citizens of The Shade were concerned, a new vampire had no business calling me by name.

I gestured toward Xavier to tell him that it was alright. “Let’s take a walk, shall we, Ashley?”

“Why can’t we have the conversation right here?” She animatedly planted her hands on her hips, her long blonde ponytail sashaying with her every move.

Xavier’s eyes grew wide with interest as he whispered, “Feisty girl…”

Ashley squinted her eyes at him. “I heard that.”

She was causing a commotion and the other trainees were now gathering around. I chuckled dryly as I turned around to leave.

“Where are you going?!” She ran after me.

“Somewhere we can talk without you getting yourself killed.”

Her face paled, realizing how much trouble she’d gotten herself into only moments ago. “Oh shoot…I keep on forgetting that you’re some sort of legendary royalty here at the Shade.”

“You’re a vampire now. You can’t forget that.”

We began to walk through the forest, aimlessly traveling along the stony terrain, past the giant redwoods that filled the island.

“You didn’t even bother to check on me,” she said with a pout after a long silence. It was a reminder that in spite of her newfound immortality, she still was a seventeen-year-old teenager. “I mean, I can understand if you don’t, but Sofia?”

“Didn’t either Kyle or Sam tell you that I forbade her to go see you?”

“Well, yeah…they did, but since when did you forbidding Sofia to do something keep her from doing it?”

I changed the subject. “So is it what you thought it would be…being a vampire?”

“Let’s just say that I wished I had listened to you the night of my turning.”

I bowed my head, truly feeling sorry for her.

“Did you choose to be turned?” she asked.

I shook my head. “My father turned me. He took me by surprise. He did the same thing to Vivienne. As for Lucas…well, I never really got the complete story about how my father managed to turn him.”

“Does the craving ever disappear?”

I let out a dry laugh. “No, Ashley. It’s in your nature to be a predator now. You need to learn control. It’s possible. Vivienne did it. She never once drank human blood. Ever.”

“And she just lived on animal blood? I can’t stand it! Compared to human blood…”

I grabbed her by the wrist in surprise. “You’ve had human blood?”

“Yes…I…”

“You’ve killed.”

She shook her head, her eyes showing how nervous she was. “No. I drank blood from the chilling chambers.”

The mention of the chambers only reminded me of the culling and the reason behind Sofia’s avoidance of me.

“There isn’t enough left to sustain The Shade…we consume too much blood. There are too many of us now. The Naturals are in constant danger of a vampire losing it and going after them, but we can’t go on with the abductions either…”

“And yet there are still three girls in your harem now.”

“I didn’t want that. I had them sent to Sofia to help her out in The Catacombs. I haven’t seen them since.”

“So you haven’t been seeing Sofia?”

My silence was enough of an answer.

“Why?”

I told Ashley about the culling, about why I thought it was necessary. “If I let the culling happen, do you think Sofia will ever be able to forgive me?”

Ashley was quiet for quite some time as we walked on. “She’s been able to forgive you for a lot. I don’t even think she’ll blame you, but I think it will definitely wreck her. Gwen’s death was something that she took quite heavily. For months, she had to spend every day having those psychological treatments with Corrine in order to get through that. Imagine what a murder of that scale would do to her.”

“If I stop the culling, what happens? How do we survive?”

Ashley grew silent once again. As we walked on, she eventually admitted, “I don’t think I can live on animal blood, Derek.”

My jaw clenched. “I don’t know if I can either.”

We continued to walk in silence, allowing ourselves to mull over what was about to come and what we ought to do about it. It didn’t take long before we bumped into Cameron and Liana, holding hands. Liana was laughing over something Cameron whispered in her ear.

I always did envy the couple from the moment I met them. Both of them had been turned not long after Liana gave birth to their second child—a daughter. Their firstborn was a son. They spent the first decades of their lives as vampires securing a future for their children, while still being away from them. They couldn’t risk losing control around the kids, so they had to leave the children with trusted friends. To that day, they still knew and kept track of their children’s descendants spanning centuries upon centuries of beautiful, loving families.

Whenever I saw Cameron and Liana together, I couldn’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like to fall in love before I had become what I was.

If Sofia would just agree to become a vampire, we could be like them.

I shook the thought away. I once again chastised myself for still entertaining the notion. I shifted my focus back to the couple whom we were quickly approaching.

Liana’s face broke into a smile at the sight of us. Still, I didn’t miss the hint of concern in her eyes. Even Cameron was looking at me worriedly. They were two of our family’s closest friends and most loyal allies. Next to Sofia and Vivienne, they knew me better than most vampires at The Shade.

“So this is the newest addition to our coven…” Cameron eyed Ashley knowingly. “How do you find being a bloodsucker so far?’

“It’s a lot like starving.” Ashley nodded resolutely. “Every minute of the day.”

Liana chuckled. “You’ll get used to it.”

“You mean it’s always going to be like this?” Her eyes grew wide with horror.

Cameron and I nodded in an attempt to scare her. “Uh-huh,” we both said.

Liana rolled her eyes. “No. It gets easier the older you get…don’t listen to them.” She then eyed me and Ashley. “Where’s Sofia?”

“On the farm with Gavin, I suspect.”

“Have you told her about the culling?” Liana was never really one to beat around the bush and with Ashley being one of us, there wasn’t much sense in keeping things confidential.

I nodded.

Cameron shuffled uncomfortably on his feet. “How’d she take it?”

“Her exact words were, ‘I will fight tooth and nail against this, Derek.’ “

Cameron let out a low whistle as his hand protectively snaked around Liana’s waist. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted.

“You explained that it’s necessary?” Liana pried.

“How do you justify something that she sees as a bloody massacre?” I couldn’t help but scoff. “You can’t tell someone like Sofia that murder is necessary.”

No words were spoken. We’d been trying to reconcile the past culling with our consciences and we all knew that no matter how much we tried to bend the rules of what’s moral and what’s not, what was done was exactly what Sofia called it—a massacre. None of us could justify it other than that we needed it to happen in order to survive.

The strong prey on the weak. Survival of the fittest. Is that not what people laud as the law of nature? If they survive, we don’t.

I let out an exasperated sigh, unable to hide how torn I was over the whole thing. I ran a hand over my hair, longing to once again be in Sofia’s good graces. “She hasn’t spoken to me in days,” I complained. I miss her so much.

Liana gave me a long, meaningful look. “Vivienne saw it immediately. I didn’t.”

“See what?” Cameron and Ashley asked in unison before giving me an odd look.

“You’ve changed, Derek. With her in your life, you’re a different man.”

I studied her, wondering what she was getting at. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“We’ll have to wait and see, won’t we?”

For some reason, the fact that she would imply that Sofia could have a negative effect on me grated on my nerves. “You are the three vampires in this island who ought to value human life more than anyone else. You.” I pointed at Ashley. “Because you were still human barely a week ago. And you two.” I then pointed at the couple.“Because you have generations of human descendants whom you love deeply.”

“That’s different…” Cameron began to stand in defense.

“Why is it different? Is a human less human just because he was born at The Shade?” I shook my head, angrier at myself than I was with them. I knew Sofia was right. What we were about to do was a massacre. I couldn’t justify it. Nobody could, but it felt like I had no choice. The Elite might have stood with me against the abductions, but how on earth could I possibly make them agree to cutting off their only supply of human blood? “I can’t stand this. I need to be alone.”

I sped forward, brushing past the couple before any of them could come up with a response. I had no idea how far I’d gone or how long I’d been moving, but I eventually reached a clearing that led me to the Vale. Just as I emerged from the woods, Sofia and Gavin were coming out of the town.

They were laughing with Sofia rolling her eyes as she playfully chucked Gavin’s jaw with her fist. The fact that she’d barely looked my way whenever I visited her, combined with her stupid excuses for not spending time with me, made seeing her with Gavin infuriating.

Jealousy reared its ugly head and I wasn’t able to hold myself back. I just saw red and all I wanted to do at that moment was snap the Natural’s neck in two.