Wish You Were Here

Chapter 23



Alice looked at the row of pretty dresses in her wardrobe. Since Ben had asked her out, she’d bought a few more colourful pieces and now couldn’t decide what to wear. He hadn’t said anything about their date that night so that left Alice in the dark as to what to go for, so she decided to wear the plum-coloured velvet dress with the scoop neckline and the long sleeves.

Once the dress was on, she popped her feet into a pair of new shoes with the most modest of heels and then went into the bathroom to do something about her face. Staring at herself in the mirror, she wondered how far the wish would carry her. Would Ben notice if she decided to be plain old Alice and go sans make-up or if she deliberately left her hair a mess? It would be fun to find out but Alice was too self-conscious and she wanted to look her very best for Ben.

Just as her lipstick was halfway to her mouth, the doorbell went and Alice froze in a panic. Ben was awfully early, wasn’t he? She quickly applied a coat of Summer Rose and tied her hair back. She’d have to beg at least five more minutes if she was going to look anywhere near presentable.

But it wasn’t Ben at the door. It was Stella. Her face was stony and glum as she pushed into the hallway without so much as a hello. Alice hadn’t seen her sister since they’d got back from Kethos and she knew that an unannounced visit meant trouble.

‘Is everything okay?’ Alice asked.

Stella shrugged as she flopped down onto Alice’s sofa, pulling a cushion onto her lap.

‘I’m fed up,’ she said.

Alice sat down beside her. ‘What’s up?’

‘Everything,’ she said.

‘Oh, dear.’

Stella nodded. ‘Miles broke up with me.’

‘Miles? Who’s Miles?’

Stella turned and glared at Alice. ‘My boyfriend,’ she said.

‘Since we came back from Kethos?’

‘Well, of course since we came back from Kethos!’ She groaned and she really did look sad.

‘What happened?’ Alice asked, genuinely concerned now.

‘He said—’ Stella paused.

‘What? What did he say?’

‘He said he didn’t want to see me again because I was too young.’

‘Too young? Well, how old was he?’ Alice asked.

‘Twenty-six,’ Stella said.

‘But that’s not much older than you.’

‘I know!’ Stella said in exasperation.

‘It doesn’t make any sense. Are you sure that was his reason?’

Stella’s gaze hit the floor and Alice immediately knew that she was hiding something.

‘What is it?’ Alice asked.

Stella’s face had turned quite pale and Alice was beginning to get worried. What on earth had this Miles person said to her sister?

‘He said,’ she began at last, ‘he said that I was childish. Isn’t that awful?’

Alice bit her lip until she could trust herself to speak. ‘Well—’

‘How could he say such a thing?’

‘I really don’t know,’ Alice said, supportively.

‘I mean, I’m not childish, am I?’ she asked, turning her big blue eyes onto Alice and searching for an answer that would make her feel better.

‘Well, you can be a little—’ Alice paused, choosing her words carefully. She didn’t want Ben arriving in the middle of a full-blown argument. ‘A little demanding, I’d say.’

Stella shifted on the sofa. ‘That’s rubbish. I’m not demanding at all.’

‘Well, you have to admit that you like things your way,’ Alice said gently.

‘Of course I do. Doesn’t everybody?’

‘But you don’t always go about it the right way,’ Alice said.

‘What do you mean?’

Alice glanced at the clock. The time was ticking away and she’d have to make a move before long. ‘Do you want a cup of tea?’ she asked kindly.

Stella nodded. ‘And have you got something to eat? I haven’t got a thing at home.’

‘You can take a look but you’ll have to prepare it yourself,’ Alice said as they walked through to the kitchen and switched the kettle on.

‘I think I’m going to extend my kitchen,’ Stella announced casually, thoughts of Miles’s cruel words obviously forgotten.

‘What?’

‘It’s way too small, don’t you think?’

Alice frowned. ‘Why would Dad pay for that when he doesn’t even live there any more?’

‘Because it’s the right thing to do for the house,’ Stella said. ‘Just think about it. The house will be worth more if we extend. Nobody wants a pokey old kitchen. It’s far too small. You’re lucky you don’t have to put up with it yourself.’

‘Are you kidding me? Just look at this place,’ Alice said, gazing around the tiniest of rooms. ‘It’s about the width of a rolling pin and not much longer either.’

‘Yes, but it’s not so important for you, is it? I mean, this is just rented.’

‘I don’t think Dad can afford it, Stella.’

‘He’s got the money.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘And I think it’ll definitely be worth it. It’s an investment,’ she said with a little nod.

‘But all his money’s tied up in the house and what little he has left over is for nursing fees,’ Alice pointed out. ‘You’ll have to come up with the money yourself if you want to do any work on the house.’

Stella gave a scoffing sort of a laugh. ‘I haven’t got the money!’ she said.

‘What happened to that interview you were going to?’ Alice asked, suddenly remembering that Stella had said something about it whilst they were in Kethos.

Stella pouted as she went about poking through Alice’s kitchen cupboards in search of something to eat. ‘It was awful and I didn’t get the job. They asked me all kinds of silly questions.’

‘They usually do in interviews.’ Alice glanced at the cooker clock. ‘Stella, I’m afraid I’ve got to get moving.’

‘You’re going out?’ Stella said with a frown.

‘Yes. I do go out occasionally, you know,’ Alice said.

‘No, I didn’t know,’ Stella said. ‘You’re not going to wear your hair like that, are you?’

‘Why not?’

‘Because you don’t suit it up. Not like me,’ Stella said, posing in front of the glass in the back door, a handful of blonde hair in her hands. ‘Can’t you stay? I really need somebody to talk to.’

‘I’m sorry, Stella, but I’ve really got to get going.’

Her sister’s eyes suddenly doubled in size like a cartoon character’s and filled with tears. ‘Everything’s going wrong and I can’t even talk to my sister about it.’

‘Of course you can, only not tonight.’

‘You’re so mean.’

‘You can stay and have your tea here but I’m going out,’ Alice told her.

‘Can’t I come with you?’

‘Certainly not. I’m going on a date.’ It was then that the doorbell went. ‘Oh, heavens!’ Alice said as she realised that she hadn’t finished getting ready.

‘I’ll get it,’ Stella said.

‘No need,’ Alice said, nimbly pushing past Stella before she managed to answer the door to Ben.

‘Hello,’ he said, his eyes bright as the hallway light caught him. ‘Are you ready?’

‘Hi!’ the bright voice of Stella cried as she pushed Alice out of the way.

‘Hello,’ Ben said in surprise.

‘I’m Stella,’ Stella said with her huskiest voice as she extended a hand. Ben shook it and Alice couldn’t help but notice how long she managed to hold onto it for.

Ben smiled but then his gaze returned to Alice. ‘Shall we get going, then?’

Alice nodded. ‘Just give me a moment,’ she said and they all walked into the hallway together. Alice rushed back up the stairs to finish getting ready. She didn’t want to leave Stella with Ben longer than was absolutely necessary and returned in record time. Only they weren’t in the hallway where she’d left them. They were in the sitting room and Stella was perched on the sofa, her long legs crossed and her face animated with interest in whatever it was Ben was talking about.

‘So that’s kind of how the department’s run,’ Ben was saying. Stella nodded her head as if it was something she really cared about. ‘Ah,’ he said as Alice walked into the room. ‘You look amazing.’

Alice stroked the front of her dress self-consciously and fiddled with her hair and she couldn’t help noticing that Stella was giving her a look as if to say, what on earth did you do to ensnare this one?

* * *

Ben had booked the best table in a restaurant that Alice had only ever dreamed of eating at. He guided her to the table with his hand resting in the small of her back and then he pulled out her chair like a true gentleman.

‘You look beautiful tonight,’ he whispered in her ear before sitting down opposite her.

‘So do you,’ she said and then smiled. ‘Handsome, I mean. You look handsome.’

The waiter arrived and handed them the menus and Alice’s eyes almost popped out of her head at the prices but Ben seemed perfectly calm. That’s what came of being a manager, she thought, remembering seeing his salary increase at the end of last month.

They took their time ordering, talking about the events of the day and swapping sweet nothings across the table.

‘Here’s to us,’ Ben said, opening the champagne bottle and filling their glasses after they’d finished their starter and had moved on to their main course. Alice was just thinking that she had never been treated so well in her life when she realised that she had. Milo had treated her like a queen, hadn’t he? And he hadn’t relied on fancy restaurants and expensive champagne either. He had cooked for her himself and taken her to secret places that nobody else knew about.

But he also lied to you, a little voice said. He lied to you, used you and conveniently forgot about you.

She shook her head. Why was she thinking of Milo now? Hadn’t he been filed away in the back of her mind in a compartment named ‘Things to Forget’? She was with Ben now and she was happy. She was quite sure she was.

‘You know, I still can’t get over how I’ve never noticed you before,’ Ben said.

Alice smiled at him. ‘It’s easy to overlook somebody like me,’ she said.

Ben shook his head. ‘All this time we’ve wasted,’ he said, ‘but we can make up for all that now, can’t we?’

Alice nodded happily. ‘Yes,’ she said, knowing full well how many years she had wasted being plain and, even if this new Alice was a freak and a fraud and even if it wasn’t going to last forever, she was going to make the very most of it right now with Ben.

They were just mulling over the desserts when a tall blonde waltzed over to their table and, without so much as hello, bent down and placed a scarlet lipstick smudge right across Ben’s cheek.

‘Lynne!’ Ben exclaimed.

‘Long time, no see, darling,’ the woman said.

Alice watched in horror as the woman pulled a chair from another table and sat herself down next to Ben.

‘Er – let me introduce you,’ Ben said hurriedly. ‘Alice – this is Lynne. Lynne – Alice.’

Lynne gave a sickly sort of smile to Alice and then her gaze snapped back to Ben.

‘It has been a long time, hasn’t it?’ Ben said.

Lynne laughed. ‘I’m just trying to remember exactly when it was. I can’t make my mind up. Was it that awful conference in Leeds where we stayed in that nasty little hotel or that weekend in Monaco where we stole those gorgeous hand towels? Do you remember? They were all embroidered in gold.’

Ben’s face had reddened and Alice couldn’t help wondering if it was because of the reference to staying in hotels with this woman or because of the stolen towel incident.

‘Ben and I go back years, don’t we, Ben?’ Lynne said, giving Alice the once-over and obviously not liking what she saw.

‘We certainly do, we certainly do!’ Ben said, swallowing hard.

‘You know, I’ve often wondered what happened to you,’ she continued, laying a perfectly manicured hand on his. Ben pulled his hand away and the woman visibly flinched.

‘Well,’ he said at last, ‘it was lovely seeing you again.’

Lynne glared at him as if daring him to brush her off but he maintained his stance and she soon scraped her chair out from behind her.

‘Goodbye, Ben,’ she said. ‘And good luck to you,’ she said, turning her icy stare on Alice. ‘Whatever your name is.’

‘It’s Alice,’ Alice said without missing a beat. They watched as Lynne stalked across the restaurant.

‘Sorry about that,’ Ben said when he was quite sure she was out of earshot.

‘Goodness,’ Alice said. ‘She was quite – predatory.’

‘Yes,’ Ben said. ‘She could be quite scary once she got those talons into you,’ he said, taking a good draught of wine.

‘Does that happen a lot?’

‘What?’ Ben said, the colour from his face finally settling back to something approaching normality.

‘I mean, I guess you have a lot of ex-girlfriends.’

‘I’ve had one or two,’ he said. ‘Everybody has a past.’

‘Not as colourful as yours, though,’ Alice said, berating herself for her irked tone. Why had the incident with Lynne got to her so much? This was how it was going to be with Ben, wasn’t it? He was a good-looking man – way out of Alice’s league – and he attracted a type of girl that would always look down on Alice.

‘What do you mean by that?’ Ben said with a frown.

Alice sighed. What did she mean, she wondered? ‘I mean, you’re so handsome.’

He laughed. ‘And you’re beautiful.’

‘No, I’m not,’ Alice said quickly.

Ben shook his head. ‘You’re always selling yourself short, Alice.’

‘But I’m not beautiful,’ she said.

‘And I’m sure you’ve had just as many boyfriends as I’ve had girlfriends,’ he added.

Alice felt her heartbeat accelerate as she thought of the woeful lineup of old boyfriends like Michael who’d still lived with his mother and had had to be home by nine o’clock each evening or Rick who’d forgotten to pick Alice up for their date one evening because he’d got back together with his ex.

‘Listen,’ Ben said at last, his hand reaching across the table to take hers, ‘let’s not talk about the past. It’s the present I’m interested in.’ He gave a warm smile and Alice’s insecurities were banished. For the moment.

They ordered voluptuous desserts with swirls of chocolate, drank sweet tea and drove home. Alice did her best not to think about Lynne, she really did, but her beautiful, haughty face kept staring out at her from her mind’s eye and Alice couldn’t help but wonder how many other ex-girlfriends of Ben’s would give her the once-over and make her feel as if she had no place by his side.

‘You’re very quiet,’ Ben said as he pulled up outside her cottage and switched the engine off.

‘Just thinking,’ she said.

‘What about?’ he asked, leaning in closer to her.

‘Us.’

‘Us is a very good thing to think about,’ he said and she couldn’t help but smile. He was very good at making her smile.

‘Do you want to come in?’ she asked nervously.

Ben took her hand in his and brought it up to his mouth and kissed it. ‘I’d love to,’ he said, ‘but I think we should wait.’

‘What do you want to wait for?’ Alice said, half-panicked in case Ben was seeing her for who she really was.

‘This is special, Alice,’ he said, ‘and I don’t want to rush things.’

Alice swallowed hard. It was the last thing she’d expected him to say and his sweetness made her feel so guilty.

‘Okay,’ she said at last, and closed her eyes as he kissed her.

‘Good night,’ he said a moment later as she got out of the car. She watched as he disappeared into the night and a terrible sadness settled in her heart. Why couldn’t all this be happening because of who she was – who she really was? Why couldn’t Ben have noticed her weeks ago before the wish had been made?

As she turned to go inside, she was aware of a ghostly presence next door. It was her neighbour, old Mr Montague. He was standing in his front garden behind the wooden gate and the air was filled with smoke from his cigar. He did look a funny sight standing in the moonlight in his saggy pyjamas. Alice didn’t often see him but she knew that his wife had thought he’d given up smoking years ago and didn’t know about him sloping off to the garden every night for a quick one. He’d once confided in Alice that he told his wife he was on slug patrol.

‘Are you all right, Mr Montague?’ she said.

He nodded and then his eyes lit up. ‘Alice! Is that you?’ He shuffled forward in his furry slippers and almost crashed into the little wooden gate.

‘Yes, Mr Montague.’

‘You’re out late. Got yourself a fancy man?’

She smiled at the old-fashioned term. ‘I’m not sure,’ she said honestly.

‘You be sure to choose carefully, now. A girl like you deserves somebody who will love and cherish her for who she really is.’

Alice blinked hard in the moonlight as Mr Montague’s words struck home. ‘But how can I be sure of that?’ she asked. ‘How can I be certain that a man loves me for who I truly am?’

Mr Montague beckoned her forward with a bony finger and Alice dared to approach the gate. ‘Come closer,’ he said.

Warily, Alice took another step forward. ‘What is it?’ she asked, feeling Mr Montague’s hot breath on her cold cheek.

‘Oh, Alice!’ he whispered and, before she could get away, he had her shoulders clutched in his bony hands and was kissing her cheek with an alarming sucking sound.

‘Mr Montague! Please let me go!’

‘Alice! My Alice!’ he cried into the night air. ‘You’re my one true love! How did I never see it before?’

‘Because there is nothing to see. I haven’t changed and neither have you. You’re a married man and this is madness! Madness!’ She shook his hands away from her and tore up her garden path, jamming her key in the lock as quickly as she could.

She was shaking so much that she could barely put the safety chain on the door. This had got to stop. She couldn’t go through this any more. Her life was falling apart and for the first time she realised that the old life hadn’t been so bad after all. She might not have got quite so much male attention but at least everybody had been honest. At least she didn’t have to put up with this mad charade of passion.

She walked through to the kitchen and made herself a cup of camomile tea to try and calm her nerves, taking it through to the living room and sitting down on the sofa. For a moment, she thought she could hear a radio but then realised that the sound was coming from outside.

Alice stood up and moved to the window, listening for a moment, trying to work out what it was. It sounded like some sort of animal in pain but then she realised it wasn’t an animal. It was old Mr Montague.

‘He’s singing!’ she said, gasping in horror as she caught sight of the old man at her garden gate still wearing nothing but his saggy pyjamas. What made matters even worse was he was down on one knee, an ancient guitar in his arms which he wasn’t really playing, just holding for support.

Alice’s hand flew to her mouth as she watched him, trying to make out the words he was singing. He kept saying her name over and over again, that much was clear, but there didn’t seem to be any sort of rhythm or tune. He was just making it up as he went along and the result was the most awful noise Alice had ever heard. She had to stop him.

Opening the window, she leaned out. ‘Mr Montague – it’s the middle of the night! What are you doing?’

‘I – I – I,’ he stuttered, ‘I’m serenading you.’

‘I think you should go to bed.’

He nodded enthusiastically. ‘Yes! Oh, yes!’

‘Your own bed, Mr Montague,’ Alice said.

There then came a strange cry from Mr Montague’s house and the burly figure of his wife came crashing through the undergrowth. ‘What is going on, Ernest Montague?’

‘I – I – I’m serenading Alice,’ he said as if it was the most natural thing to be doing in the middle of the night.

‘You stupid old fool!’ his wife bellowed. ‘Nobody wants to hear you croaking into the night like a hoarse frog! Least of all Alice. Now get inside, you big oaf!’

Alice watched as Mrs Montague cuffed her husband around the head and dragged him back into the house. She sighed in relief, shutting the window and drawing the curtains sharply; then, taking a deep breath, she walked through to the bathroom where she stared at herself in the mirror above the sink.

‘You’re not up to this,’ she told herself. ‘It’s all going to go horribly wrong if you don’t end it now.’

But she didn’t want to end it. She had real feelings for Ben and she was beginning to believe that he liked her for the woman she truly was and wasn’t just momentarily dazzled by her because of the wish she’d made.

She stared at her reflection for a moment, knowing what she had to do. She had to tell him the truth, didn’t she? Ben was a decent man and, if she had any real feelings for him at all, she would be honest with him.

Getting into bed later that night, she nodded to herself in the darkness. I’m going to do this, she thought. I’m going to tell him the truth.