What We Saw

Chapter Thirty-Four

After we’d gotten back to the caravan, there was a strange silence about the place. Granddad didn’t take Carla out for a walk that night and neither did we. I don’t think he wanted us to see the place where last night’s events had happened. Maybe he thought it would remind us or something. Not that we needed reminding. We sat down to an early meal as Gran pottered around the kitchen, getting things ready.

‘Your mum is coming to pick you up tomorrow,’ Gran said, rubbing her cheeks.

‘Oh,’ I said. ‘Okay. That’ll be good.’ I turned Adam, who stared into space.

‘Gran,’ he said. ‘What—what happened to Donald?’

Gran turned from me to him, trying not to focus. ‘Donald’s in the hospital, I hear. But I, um, well I’m not sure what will happen with him. After all this. And his daughter, you know… anyway, who wants cheese on their sandwich and who wants ham?’ She smacked her hands together and looked between us.

The evening passed by slowly. People walked up to our caravan and whispered things. They made me feel strange when they hovered around. I didn’t like it, so I went to bed before everyone else. Adam soon followed.

‘Liam,’ he said, after we’d been lying there for a good half-hour. ‘Do you think we’ll ever see Emily again?’

I squeezed my eyes tightly together. ‘I don’t know, Adam. I don’t know.’

Adam sighed. ‘You saved her life, cuz. You solved this. I—’ He paused. ‘I’m gonna miss you.’

I thought about opening my eyes, but instead, I just reached over to where Adam was. He flinched as my hand touched his arm before letting it rest there.

‘I’ll miss you, too, cuz,’ I said.

*

I woke to the sound of distant voices. The clattering of cutlery and the sliding of suitcase zips.

‘Well, she might as well take it,’ I heard Granddad say.

‘Okay, okay—we’ll bloody give it to her,’ Gran snapped. ‘If she doesn’t want it, you can keep it in the garage. Don’t think you’re cluttering our lounge with any more of your tat.’

I would miss their bickering, in a way. Regardless of all of Gran’s little insecurities and Granddad’s faults, not to mention everything they had been through, they still had each other.

I felt a wet tickle on the sole of my foot. I arched myself out of bed and saw Carla, tail-wagging and ready to play. ‘Come here, girl,’ I said, as she pottered over and covered my face in a sickly slime. ‘I’m gonna miss you y’know, you silly dog.’

Carla had instigated so much in our four-week stay at the caravan site. Really, it was thanks to her, or because of her, that this whole long adventure of ours had started. If she hadn’t gone running off that day, eager to explore the vast expanses of the woods, we would have never caught Donald burying Beth Swanson.

I wondered how Donald was getting on. I remembered the deep, red blood trickling down his face as he clawed his way out of Emily’s caravan garden. The helpless feeling of not being able to do anything as Emily’s dad’s foot buried itself into his ribcage, over and over. Donald lying there, not begging him to stop, but taking it, as limp and heavy as an old bag of potatoes.

Then the photographs, Emily’s dad’s body in flames, and Emily being pulled away into that black car.

Adam’s bed was vacant. It was unlike him to rise before me, but I suppose this was a big day. The light eased its way through the window. It felt like the distant heat of a fan heater, soft against my skin.

I heard footsteps approaching my door, which was ajar from Carla’s rude entry. Adam was just as rude as he marched in with a grin on his face and grabbed my bed covers. I pulled back and continued his tug of war, refusing to let go. Carla leapt up and down like a baby trying to walk on two feet as the drama ensued. After a few seconds in battle, I let go and sent him crashing into the wardrobe. His cheeks went as pink as Hubba Bubba bubblegum as he stumbled back to his feet and dusted his chest.

‘Dick. It’s time for your leaving breakfast.’

I nodded, lying in nothing but my white underpants. ‘Give me a minute to get dressed, unless you’d rather watch.’

He screwed his face up into a ball and jogged out of the room, Carla following excitedly. Adam looked good, considering everything that had happened. The things we had seen and the experiences we had been through, they weren’t normal. Regardless, we had experienced them, and we had to get on with it. Even though everything was over, I had woken up in the night a lot. I felt a niggling in my tummy and my chest tightening when I was around other people. Mum told me on the phone that I had to start going to see somebody to talk about things, so I guess that would help. ‘It will pass in time,’ she said. At least Adam seemed okay. Maybe he had switched himself off.

But everything would get better soon.

I got dressed and headed into the living area. It looked particularly bright, the sky a perfect, holiday blue. There were no signs of clouds spoiling it today. Gran and Granddad were in the middle of packing my Nintendo into a cardboard box. They stopped as I walked into the room.

‘You okay, Liam?’ Gran asked.

I nodded.

‘Sleep well?’ Granddad asked.

I nodded to him, too.

They both looked at each other.

‘Liam… things will get better,’ Granddad said. ‘When you talk to someone about all this, they’ll get better. I promise.’

‘I know,’ I said. All I could think about was Emily and the way her eyes had met mine as she’d been whizzed away in the back of that black car.

My mum was due to pick me up at ten o’clock, which gave me about an hour to rush my ‘last breakfast’ down and sort out as many things as I could. Adam was mostly silent during breakfast. I kept catching him looking at me as I tucked into my toast, but as soon as we looked at each other, he shifted his eyes back to his plate. I would miss him, believe it or not, and figured that he would probably miss me too. I thought about school and how different things would be, knowing what I knew. Mum had already been in contact with school to say that I wouldn’t be starting my new year straight away, that it would be too much of an ‘upheaval’ for me. I think she expected me to be pleased about this. Really, I just wanted to get started now. I wanted to get my mind on normal things and focus on worrying about whether I had my shorts for P.E. instead of worrying about who or what I might bump into during a walk around a caravan site.

Granddad whistled as he carried my bags out onto the patio. Gran was combing Adam’s hair, his dark locks clinging to his ears.

‘Have to go get this mop chopped won’t we, lad?’

Adam shrugged.

I got a lump in my throat every time I realised I wouldn’t have the chance to say goodbye to Emily. Gran said that it’d be okay and that we’d be able to write to each other or call, but I felt myself shaking my head and trying to forget the way the tall men in posh suits held her arm and eased her into the back of their car. I fought and squinted to catch a glimpse of her as the car pulled away, but the harder I tried, the less I remembered her face.

Gran said that Emily would be okay, but she kept turning back at me and shaking her head as she spoke to Mrs. Bartley, Emily’s next door neighbour. Gran had told me that Emily was going away for a little while and that it was for her own good and that I would see her again someday soon.

‘What happens now her dad has—y’know?’ I asked.

Gran rustled my hair. ‘Let’s not worry about him so much, eh? Emily’s dad was a very mixed up man. He did some terrible things. God will be the judge of him now.’

My shoulders slumped. ‘I just don’t get why he hurt Emily. And why he killed Beth Swanson.’

Gran’s arms shook, and she tried to bear that fake smile once more. ‘That’s someone else’s mystery to solve, my love. Stop thinking about things like that quite so much.’

I asked Granddad about Donald, too. There were a few little thoughts still niggling at me.

‘He’s getting better I think,’ Granddad said, rubbing his hands together.

I remembered the way the police officer had asked about my granddad. ‘Granddad, why did you hug Donald all those days ago?’

Granddad stared into my eyes and rested his elbow on my suitcase. He scanned my face attentively. ‘What you talking about?’ he said, chuckling. ‘You find a mystery in everything, you.’

I nodded. ‘Mhmm.’ I felt the anticipation growing in my stomach. This was my chance. ‘Granddad, which day was it that you went to pick Adam up?’ I pointed at some of my mystery-solving books. ‘Just trying to make sense of some old case. Trying to work out when he got here.’ I smiled at him.

Granddad pulled himself up from leaning on my case and scratched his head, glancing into the air. ‘Let me see… well it must have been a Tuesday. Yes, Tuesday 23rd. Does that help?’

I felt my stomach sink and a heaviness in my shoulders. ‘Not a Wednesday?’

Granddad’s smile drooped at the sides. His eyes said it all. We were both silent for a few seconds. ‘Or maybe it was a Wednesday,’ he said, his voice cracking.

I nodded my head and turned back towards my room to finish packing my final things. ‘Thanks Granddad,’ I called.

The weight of realisation set in. Selective deafness.

*

I heard the distant sound of an engine roar around the corner of our road. The car’s tyres cracked against the stones as it pulled up in front of our caravan. I stepped out onto the patio, past the minefield of bags that Granddad had placed out there, and saw my mum sitting tall in her little red car. She got out and struggled over the stones in her high heels, like an ice-skater new to the rink. Her face beamed underneath her sunglasses.

‘Hello, you!’ she said, clutching me in her arms. It felt nice to feel this again. I closed my eyes and let the warmth of her arms and the gentle sun rest on my skin for a moment before she pulled away, sniffing as she worked her spider-like hand through my hair. She asked me the usual questions about how I’d been getting on and if I felt okay, and in the presence of Gran and Granddad, I just nodded and said yes. It was all I could say right now.

They chatted for a while about adult things. Apparently her and my dad were giving it another go for my sake. I smiled at the news. It was nice to hear. But everything felt so pale and so distant. It was like I was in a foreign country and everyone was speaking in another language. It would be nice to have Mum and Dad back together I guess. It would feel better in time.

Granddad packed my bags into the back of my mum’s car as I cuddled Gran. She bawled and squeezed my nose. ‘You’re welcome to come here any time, my love. I want to see you back here as soon as you’re fit and ready for action, soldier!’

My granddad shuffled his feet as he hugged me. He was always awkward at giving hugs. I leaned in to whisper in his ear. There was one last thing I had to say to him.

‘I know you knew about Beth Swanson,’ I whispered. Granddad was completely still. He tightened his arms around my back and opened his mouth slightly before letting me go. He didn’t say anything. He nodded. I smiled back at him and nodded too. I didn’t need him to explain himself to me. He would never do anything to hurt anybody.

Carla ran up to me. I wrapped my arms around her neck as she licked at my face and fell onto my back in a mock tumble.

Adam was the only person I had not yet said goodbye to. He stood with his hands flopping at his sides, arching his head upwards in my direction before jolting to face the ground again. I walked over to him. I could feel the tingling of those ants in my stomach again as my throat wobbled.

‘I guess this is it, cuz,’ I said, trying to meet his eyes, which flew about like irritated bees.

‘I guess,’ he mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets and poking his tongue against his top lip. I could see the water building in his eyes, like a canal ready to overflow from too much rain. I put my arms around him and clenched him as tight as I could. I felt his head press against my chest as he clutched my back and returned my hug.

‘I’m never too far away, cuz, don’t you forget that,’ I said.

He clenched and rubbed his head for another couple of seconds before pushing me back. His eyes were red. ‘See you around, softie,’ he said, twitching his mouth into a half smile before shifting his eyes back towards the ground.

I grinned back at him. ‘Whatever, shorty.’

He narrowed his eyes and stuck his tongue out.

My mum waited in the car with the passenger door ajar. I closed it and climbed through into the back seat. She turned to see what I was doing.

‘Sorry. Not ready to drive in any passenger seats right now,’ I said.

A wave of realisation drenched her face. ‘I—I’m sorry, Liam,’ she said. ‘Stupid of me.’

‘It’s okay. I’ll get over it one day.’

‘Anyway, you know I don’t dr—I’m not like him, you know?’

I nodded and looked out of the window at the caravan as I sat in the car. Gran and Granddad stood next to each other and waved. Granddad’s eyes looked even more bloodshot from a distance.

‘Look at you getting all soft,’ Gran said, slapping Granddad on his shoulder. If only she knew.

Adam ran towards the car as Granddad and Gran watched on. He tapped on my window. I wound it down.

‘Liam, what did you say to Granddad?’

Behind Adam, Granddad caught my eye. His eyes looked at me closely, pleading with me not to mention anything. I smiled at him and looked at Adam. ‘I just told him to get a new hearing aid. Now go on—get lost, shorty.’ I winked at him. He reached through the window and poked at me, before running back to Gran and Granddad.

Carla hopped around them with a ball in her mouth, begging Granddad to throw it for her. Adam stood by the door and stared, his brown hair flapping in the breeze. His eyes followed mine as the caravan faded out of view. We passed Mrs. Jeeves’ caravan and all the other caravans. I saw Martin, the repairman, as our car cruised its way up our road. It was like watching a film through the screen of the car window. When I first arrived here, I craved to know all the secrets, to find something that linked everyone in one big conspiracy or plot. But as I passed these caravans, I realised that my story was just another story amongst thousands. Adam losing his parents. Donald losing his daughter. My relationship with Emily. Carla’s disappearance. Emily’s dad and Beth Swanson’s murder. Granddad knowing about it. Everything so linked and bound together by this great, mysterious bubble that was the caravan site.

My mum pipped the horn as we reached the top of the road. I looked through my window and saw Adam stood there with one hand raised as we crept round the corner. I lifted my hand to wave. We turned out of the road, and he was gone.