What We Saw

Chapter Thirty-One

The three of us were completely still, unable to speak. Emily pulled herself up slightly, and her eyes twitched from me to Adam. I expected to feel happier to see her alive, but my gaze kept drifting towards the bruise on her neck. As she turned her head into the light some more, I noticed a cut above her eye. It was only a few centimetres long, but it was definitely there. Her hair was plastered to the side of her face without its usual bounce. Her tracksuit bottoms were peppered with bits of soil, and her oversized hoodie looked creased from where she had been lying in it.

‘So, uhm, what are you doing out here?’ she said, avoiding eye contact. I thought about her question. Just hours ago, minutes even, Emily had been dead. Donald’s latest victim. But after the cabin and the confession, things had changed. I looked at the bruise on her neck again. I didn’t want to think about how it had gotten there. I wasn’t sure I could ever go back to seeing the world how I used to see it again.

Adam stared at Emily. His face had been void of emotion through the entire exchange. It was very rare that I couldn’t tell what he was thinking or at least figure out what sort of emotions he was going through. He was a very visual person. But right now, as he stood there rooted to the spot, I found it impossible to read him. I contemplated how much of Donald’s explanation he understood. What it meant to him. We could talk about it again in the future. Or maybe we wouldn’t. He would understand in time.

I broke the silence. ‘We were wondering the same about you.’ I tried to make it sound lighthearted, curling my mouth upwards at the corners as I spoke. Instead, the lump in my throat made it sound childish, squeaking as I said the ‘you.’

Emily raised a hand to her eyes and winced. ‘If you get that light out of my eyes I’ll tell you. Not a fan of speaking to shadows.’

Of course—I had been shining the torch at her all this time, forgetting that she could barely see us. She smiled as she spoke. How could anybody smile when they’re sleeping in a place like this? I lowered the torch and rested it on the floor, so it shone up through a hole in the roof of the house, like a lighthouse beacon. I sat down next to Emily, gesturing for Adam to join me. Instead, he stood there like a rake.

Emily looked into my eyes and smiled, reaching over and squeezing my hand. ‘My little mystery solver. I knew you’d bloody find me.’ She grinned, and I tried to smile back, but it was more like a pose on the dentist’s chair. Her hand felt nice. It reminded me of that day, outside the launderette. She reached her other hand out to Adam, who seemed unresponsive. Noticing his reluctance, she tapped him on the hand twice, patting him like you’d pat a lost dog. His eyes were wide as he stared at the head of the torch.

‘How long have you been out here?’ I asked. I looked at the rucksack and the items scattered around Emily. Toothbrush. The crusts from a sandwich with a bit of meat still peeping through the edges. This place would make a brilliant den.

Emily rooted through the bag that Donald had brought her and pulled out a bottle of J2O, shaking it before swigging it back. ‘Oh, not long. I’ve been away for a bit but I’m just here for the night. What’s up with your head?’ She pointed at my forehead, where the marks of my car accident were engraved.

‘Oh, I sort of had a car crash. But I’m fine. We’re both just worried about you.’

Emily winced when I told her of the crash and laughed when I told her about Adam’s top notch detective work, hiding details of her disappearance in a crossword book. Adam remained speechless and distant, staring onwards into the light as he crouched down. We didn’t pry though. Whenever we cued him to speak, we promptly changed the topic or switched the conversation back to ourselves.

My head still spiralled with thoughts. Why had Donald taken her here? What did it mean for him and for her? I pulled my hand back. ‘Emily… I don’t want to push you but—’

‘Why’s he brought you out here, Emily?’ Adam snapped. It was disorientating to hear him speak, but now his eyes twitched as he broke free from his trance.

‘Adam,’ I said.

‘No, Liam, I need to know. I need to know why she’s out here with that man. Did he kidnap you, Emily? Because if he did, we’ll sort him out.’ He clenched his fists and gripped at the edge of the blanket.

Emily leaned over to Adam and touched his arm. He flinched backwards and looked past her, gritting his teeth.

‘Adam, Emily might not want to talk abou—’

‘It’s okay, Liam,’ she said, smiling. ‘It’s okay.’ She turned back to Adam and lifted his chin upwards, slowly, so that their eyes interlocked. After some reluctance from Adam, they stayed fixed in place. ‘Adam, I know it’s hard. I know it’s hard to understand because I can’t understand either. But my dad, he did some not nice things to me.’

Adam exhaled fast, and his eyes dropped towards the floor again. I felt my eyes begin to sting and get heavier.

‘Look at me, Adam,’ Emily said, smiling and keeping her calm, putting her hand on his arm to console him. ‘He did some not nice things to me and I needed to get away. Not forever, just for a while. Donald helped me. He felt bad for me, and he saw what my dad… what my dad was doing. My dad is just sad though. Mum says he’s sick. I don’t know why he’s acting like he is. So Donald looks after me. Brings me food. He’s been looking out for me for a bit now.’

Adam shook his head and rubbed his hand against his face before staring back at Emily. ‘But why?’ He was helpless.

I put my arm on his shoulder and squeezed. Emily looked back at me and smiled.

It was at that moment that I heard shuffling near the doorway. I grasped the torch.

‘Just me, kids.’ It was Donald, waving reluctantly as he approached. I had forgotten he was even here. I wanted this moment to last, for morning never to arrive, and for us to stay here forever. It was the perfect den. Emily was safe with us. Donald could bring us all food. We belonged here. But deep down, deep in the pit of my stomach, something gnawed at me. Things weren’t ever going to be normal again, especially not for Emily, not after this.

Donald’s face was glum when he returned. He looked at Adam, who slumped and stared vacantly into the light. Did Donald realise that Adam understood now? Emily looked at Donald and nodded. He removed his glasses, wiped his eye, and reached down for the rucksack.

‘Come on, kids,’ he said. ‘Time to take you home.’

I almost forgot about the caravan. It felt like we had been out here for an eternity. We had learned so much. Damn—we had effectively ‘solved’ our mystery.

I stood up and prepared to leave. Emily reached over and kissed my cheek with her soft lips. She grabbed me, the warmth of her body seeping through into my chest. When she let go, I saw her eyes reddening as tears collected on her long eyelashes. I felt the heaviness in my eyes give way to warm tears.

‘At least I’m not the only one, softie,’ she said, smiling. She looked over at Adam, who was so vacant and distant that he practically fell into our arms. We hugged and rested our heads against each other. Only the sound of sniffing cut through the perfect silence, like birdsong at the break of dawn. Donald stood at our side with the rucksack over his shoulder, waiting to leave.

I thought of Emily’s dad. The way he pinned me up against the wall of the launderette and told me to stay away from his daughter. The way he had followed Donald into the woods, shouting down his phone. The letter and the rock through the window. Beth Swanson and Donald’s despair. It all made sense now.

I felt uncomfortable as we pulled apart. A sick feeling in my stomach. Another secret to carry around with me. I looked over at Donald, and he smiled.

‘I’m not doing this,’ I said.

Everyone turned to face me, mouths dropping in disbelief.

‘What do you mean?’ Emily asked. ‘Not doing what?’

I looked towards the floor, and stopped biting at my lip. I felt like a volcano waiting to erupt. ‘Donald, this isn’t right. Well, it is right but it isn’t. You’ve looked after her and that’s the right thing to do, but this isn’t how we should do it. The police will find her and take her back. I don’t know what will happen to you. But her dad will start again and there’s nothing anybody will be able to do.’

Donald’s head tipped back on his neck, looking towards the ceiling. ‘I don’t care about what happens to me, Liam. I’ve lost everything. Emily and you kids are all I’ve got, really.’

‘Just stop it,’ I said, the volume of my voice raising. ‘Just stop. I’m so sorry for whatever happened, but this isn’t right, Donald. I care about what happens to you because I care about Emily.’

Donald walked closer to me. He nodded but shifted his eyes, debating what I had said. ‘Then what do you propose, son? Because I can’t think of any better ideas. I’m sorry.’

I took another deep breath. ‘I think… I think it would probably be a good idea to go back to Emily’s caravan. Make her dad confess. We need to get the truth from him. End this once and for all.’

Emily winced. Donald curved his eyebrows inwards.

Adam looked round at me in disgust. ‘Why the f*ck would we do that, genius?’

I looked at them all staring back at me with their different expressions of bewilderment, but I knew what I said was right.

I squared up to Adam. ‘Because it’s the right thing to do. This is no way of life. Say Emily runs off with Donald. What then? Donald gets done for kidnapping and for murder. You heard what Donald said—he’s being framed by Emily’s dad. So Emily ends up back with her dad and everything starts over again. We’ll get done for knowing about what’s happened. Then who will Emily have?’

Adam kept his eyes aimed at mine, refusing to yield. ‘He’s evil, Liam,’ he said, drawing out the word ‘evil’ as if I’d forgotten what the word meant.

‘Maybe he is. Maybe he isn’t. Things don’t work like they do on telly, Adam. You know that now. I know that. If they did, we wouldn’t have ended up here. We’d be given those junior badges for our detective work, remember? And all these criminals, these people who do evil things, they would be stuck behind bars. But it doesn’t work like that. You know that now.’

Adam tilted his head towards the floor. I had won the argument. Emily clutched at her blanket, looking at Donald for reassurance.

Donald glared back at me. I shook with the buzz inside me, my knees rattling.

‘Look, Donald—if you don’t come, I’ll go myself. I’ll tell him I know where Emily is, and I’ll try and lure him up here. I don’t know what he’ll do, but it’s the right thing to do. And then we’ll ring the police. Now we know what he’s done, and how he’s blackmailed you, more people will start to find out. We’re doing this for the best, Donald.’

Donald was sullen. His eyes surveyed the ground. I turned to Emily and to Adam before walking past them both and brushing past Donald, being sure not to look into his eyes. I felt their glare on my back as I marched towards the door. Through the doorway, the trees were barely visible in the distance. At least I had taken the torch to guide me.

‘Wait.’

I turned round and pointed the light at Donald.

He held his hand up. ‘Just wait—’

‘Sorry,’ I said, eager to leave this wretched old house. ‘If you want to come with me, any of you, you can. Otherwise, I’ll do it alone.’

‘I’ll come with you.’

Adam walked briskly into the flashlight’s glow. I felt my shoulders relax. Finally!

He shook his head at me as he arrived, whispering in my ear. ‘I hope you know what the hell you’re doing, cuz.’

Donald and Emily stood side by side, together and alone in the glare of the torchlight, just as they had been before we found them. Donald frowned, and Emily clutched her blanket. I saw her breathe faster as she threw herself into Donald’s arms, burrowing her head in his big chest. He put his arms on her back reluctantly and shook his head.

For a moment, I felt awful about what I was doing. Tearing them apart and sending Emily back to a home that she didn’t want to be a part of. A home that she had done everything to escape from. This strange, ageing man had put everything on the line to help her. I wondered if she knew about his daughter and what had happened. I wondered if Emily had any idea about what her dad had done to Beth Swanson and what he’d forced Donald to do before now. The two of them, standing there in a close embrace, looked uncannily like father and daughter.

He let go of her, whispered something in her ear, and held her hand. The pair of them walked towards us, sunken faces.

‘We’re coming with you,’ Donald said. ‘I don’t want you boys on your own with that man.’

A coldness hit my core, my mouth twitching as it struggled to find the words. ‘But I… if you come, he’ll know.’

‘He’s her father, Liam. You’re right. What I did was wrong. But I took Emily for the right reasons. I should be the one to tell him about what happened. It’s about time I started standing up to him. There’s nothing left for him to take away from me now.’ Donald sighed. ‘We’ve got to make him confess, somehow.’

Donald forced a smile as he approached. Emily gripped his hands and looked back at the two of us, tears rolling down her cheeks. We had betrayed her, sure, but it was for the best. This was no life for her. One way or another, we could make the situation better for her now.

She whimpered and sniffed as she clutched onto her blanket. Donald left the rucksack of things behind. I suppose we wouldn’t be needing them now.

‘Do they know about… about Patricia?’ Emily asked.

Donald closed his eyes and inhaled a deep, cleansing breath. He sighed as he spoke. ‘Yes, Emily. They know about the accident. Good little mystery solvers, like I said.’

He looked between Adam and me. I curled my lips and nodded my head. Once upon a time, it would have been the ultimate compliment to be called a ‘good little mystery solver.’ Right now, it seemed completely insignificant. How things had changed.

‘So, shall we do this?’ Donald asked. His face twitched and he spoke fast.

The fear and excitement of another leap into the unknown made my arms shake. I yawned and glanced at my watch: 4:00 am. I stood next to Emily and grabbed her hand, gesturing for Adam to hold her other. Emily let her hand sink into mine, her soft fingers brushing against my palm. After a moment’s delay, Adam held her other hand. I saw Emily’s mouth flicker at the side. A big, wide grin grew across my face, and I let out a giggle from somewhere in my stomach. It was a mixture of nerves and something else. I wasn’t quite sure what it was, but it wasn’t a feeling I was used to. Being a part of something, perhaps?

Donald led the way, and we followed behind closely, hand in hand. The old staircase in the house creaked like a monster’s rumbling stomach as we stepped back out into the spacious outdoors. I squeezed Emily’s hand and she squeezed back as we headed towards her caravan, her dad, and the complete unknown.