To the Moon and Back

Chapter 41




Ellie pressed her hands against the washbasin and leaned forward, gazing at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.

This was it then. She wanted it to happen and it was going to happen. Her mind was made up.

Who’d have thought it? Looking back, it seemed inconceivable that life could alter so drastically. The last seven days had passed in a whirlwind of activity. It was like being inside a snow globe that had suddenly been picked up and shaken. This time last week she had been just another boyfriendless PA with a hopeless, humiliating crush on her boss. Then Joe Kerrigan had turned up and changed everything. On their first date he’d taken her out on a boat on the Thames. On their second date they’d gone Rollerblading in Hyde Park. The third date had been a picnic in Kensington Gardens, the fourth a trip on the London Eye. Joe was fun, he was funny, they had a fantastic time together, and when he kissed her she enjoyed kissing him back. The chemistry that had been so painfully absent between herself and Todd was here in spades. The prospect of taking things further no longer made her feel panicky and slightly sick. Her libido, after nineteen months in deep-frozen hibernation, was back.

And the time had now come to take things to the next level.

Here, tonight, in just a few minutes’ time.

Ellie peered more closely at her reflection. Did she look different already? Were her pupils more dilated than usual? Was this really OK?

Quite often when she looked in this mirror, she would see Jamie in the bathroom behind her. But there was no sign of him tonight and her mind skittered away from the idea of conjuring him up. What for, so she could ask him if it was all right? So she could make him tell her not to worry, he didn’t mind, it was fine?

No, this was her night. It was only fair that Jamie should stay away, leave her alone to get on with it.

Get it over with.

That wasn’t fair. It was just a big step emotionally. As soon as the first time after Jamie was out of the way, it would be easier.

Anyway, it was nice to have these kinds of feelings again. A small part of her had secretly worried sometimes that they might be gone for good.

There was a light knock on the door.

‘Hello?’ said Joe from the other side. ‘Are you still in there? Or have you jumped out of the window?’

Ellie smiled and opened the door. ‘I’m still here.’

He wrapped his arms around her. ‘Nervous?’

‘Kind of.’

‘We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.’

‘I do want to.’

‘Well, that’s good. So do I.’ Joe kissed the tip of her nose, then rested his forehead against hers. ‘Just so you know, I’m a bit nervous too.’

Maybe she shouldn’t have told him he’d be the first since Jamie. It was bound to put him under pressure. Ellie led him across the hallway towards the bedroom. ‘Come on, let’s do this thing.’

Joe grinned. ‘Get the first time over and out of the way.’

See? He understood.

‘Exactly.’

And then, hopefully, they could do it again.

***

It was a stunning morning, sunny and warm with a cloudless sky overhead, the kind of morning that made you feel glad to be alive.

Zack, walking Elmo, wasn’t feeling glad about anything. The last week surely ranked among the crappiest of his life. In between his trip to Milan and another flying visit to Dundee, he had been forced to watch Ellie fall in love with another man. Or in lust. Whichever, it had been a hideous experience. There was a new light in her eyes, she always seemed to be on the brink of smiling, and there was an aura about her that definitely hadn’t been there before. It was fizzing out of her like an out-of-control Alka-Seltzer.

Nor was she capable of keeping her newfound happiness to herself. The namechecks had been coming thick and fast. When Zack had made a comment about his flight back from Milan, Ellie had launched into something funny that had happened to Joe when he’d been on his way over to LA. If he made her a coffee, she retaliated with a Joe-related anecdote about coffee. When he asked her if she’d watched Dragons’ Den last night, Ellie said, ‘No, we were out, Joe took me to a salsa bar, it was brilliant.’

As if he was remotely interested. Each fresh detail was like lemon juice in a wound but Ellie simply couldn’t help herself; she carried on regaling him with stories about Joe Kerrigan and in return he had to listen and nod and smile as if he were pleased for her.

Elmo danced on the end of his lead, snuffling at a candy wrapper on the pavement. Zack pulled him away, carried on walking, and checked his watch. Half eight.

As a rule, the journey from Primrose Hill to Ancram Street didn’t take in Nevis Street. But today, he told himself, he just happened to feel like heading in that direction. Coincidentally he’d felt the same way yesterday. OK, and the day before.

Well, a bit of extra exercise never did any harm, did it?

But in the same way that listeners never hear good of themselves, less than two minutes later Zack saw what he really hadn’t wanted to see. He and Elmo stood at the upper end of the road and watched as the front door of Ellie’s house opened and Joe Kerrigan came out.

Looking as if he’d spent the night having sex.

Zack’s jaw tightened. He felt as if he’d been punched in the stomach. Was it any wonder Joe’s hair was disheveled and he looked the way he did? He was leaving Ellie’s house at eight thirty in the morning. Of course they’d had sex.

As he watched, Joe turned and gazed up at the first floor. Then he broke into a grin and called out, ‘See you later.’

The window was flung open and Zack heard Ellie say, ‘What was that?’

‘I’ll see you later.’ Joe’s grin broadened and he blew her a kiss. ‘Missing you already.’

OK, he’d heard enough. Zack moved out of sight before Joe had a chance to turn round and recognize him.

Back home now.

Served him right for having come this way in the first place.

***

Ellie arrived at the house dead on nine o’clock, her hair still damp from the shower. She was wearing a pale pink shift dress, pink and silver sandals, and a thin silver bracelet Zack hadn’t seen before.

‘That’s nice.’ Busy adding a new appointment to the diary, he indicated the bracelet.

‘This? Thanks! It was a present from Joe.’

Another sucker punch. Great. Aloud Zack said, ‘Right.’

‘Isn’t it pretty?’ Ellie was turning her wrist this way and that, so it caught the light. ‘He gave it to me last night. I love it!’

Oh, Joe, do f*ck off.

‘Excellent. Well, I’m off to Monte Carlo on Tuesday, so I need you to book me a flight to Nice. The meeting’s at midday.’

‘No problem. I’ll do that now.’ Her eyes were sparkling; she might not have got much sleep last night but she was running on adrenaline. ‘Leave it with me.’

But by midafternoon the lack of sleep was catching up with her. Twice while he was in the office he caught Ellie yawning. Three times her phone chirruped to signal the arrival of a text and she stopped typing in order to read the messages and reply.

The last straw came when Zack attempted to return a call and discovered she’d written down the wrong number.

‘Look, I’m sorry if I’m keeping you up, but you need to be paying more attention.’ Marching into the office, he found her sending yet another text. ‘I’m trying to make an important call here and this isn’t the number.’ He pushed the piece of paper across the desk, his annoyance ratchetted up to the next level by the fact that Ellie finished composing the text and sent it before looking at the number she’d written.

‘OK, let me try. That’s definitely the one he gave me.’ She held out her hand for his phone and reeled off the numbers. ‘Oh-two-six-seven-three…’

‘No, you’ve written oh-two-oh-seven-three.’

‘That’s a six.’ Ellie pointed to it.

Unreasonably annoyed, Zack said, ‘It looks like a zero.’

‘It might look like one of your zeros,’ she retaliated, ‘because you don’t always bother to close yours. But I do close mine. This one isn’t closed, because it isn’t a zero. It’s a six.’

Unfairly, the figure was now looking more and more like a six.

Zack took back his phone, unwilling to concede defeat. ‘And you haven’t stopped yawning all morning.’

‘I might have yawned a couple of times.’ Ellie was defensive. ‘But it hasn’t stopped me working.’

‘Maybe not, but all the texting’s certainly managing it. I’m just saying, it’s not very professional, breaking off from whatever you’re doing every few minutes to read a new text from your boyfriend, then send one back.’

‘Hey, hang on, you’re annoyed with me because I wrote a number down correctly and you got it wrong?’ Ellie’s eyes flashed. ‘And I’ve yawned maybe twice, because I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to stop and make myself a cup of coffee yet?’

‘Don’t forget the texting,’ said Zack.

‘Fine. Here you go, help yourself.’ She reached over, grabbed his left wrist and slammed her phone into his upturned palm. ‘Have a good look, scroll through the texts I’ve sent today. Read them.’

‘No.’

‘Yes.’

‘I don’t want to read your texts.’

‘And I don’t care whether or not you want to.’ Ellie was breathing rapidly, her chest rising and falling as she snatched the phone, pressed a few buttons, and shoved it back at him. ‘You’re going to.’

Which meant Zack was forced to stand there and read each of the texts in turn.

None of them were from Joe Kerrigan. Instead, Ellie had been in contact with the PAs of two of the other business people due at the meeting in Monaco. Thanks to her negotiations, the journey from Nice airport to Monte Carlo would no longer be by car; they were to be whisked there by helicopter instead.

‘Oh God. I’m sorry.’ Zack handed the phone back.

‘Good.’

‘I mean, really sorry.’

‘That’s OK. You’ve been a bit twitchy today. In a funny mood.’

‘I know.’

Ellie was looking at him. ‘Is something wrong?’

What could he say? Yes, something is wrong, and it’s all your fault?

‘No.’ Zack shook his head. ‘I shouldn’t have had a go. I’m not usually like that.’

‘I know you aren’t. Anyway, thanks.’

‘For apologizing? That’s the least I can do.’

‘Not for the apology,’ said Ellie. ‘For the argument. My first proper one in a long time.’

‘Oh.’ He began to relax. ‘Did you enjoy it?’

‘Very much. Especially the bit where I won. In fact…’

‘In fact what?’ She was eyeing him thoughtfully.

‘Was this all part of the plan? You knew I missed having arguments so you decided to start one?’ A slow smile was spreading across Ellie’s face. ‘Oh my God, am I right? Did you do it on purpose?’

Zack briefly considered the alternatives. Talk about a moral dilemma. Bloody morals.

‘OK,’ he said finally, ‘I’d love to be able to tell you that was true. But I’m afraid it wasn’t. I was just being a bad-tempered old git.’

Ellie’s smile broadened. ‘The thing is, you say that now. But I’m still not sure I believe you.’

Zack couldn’t speak. All he wanted to do was kiss her.

And he wasn’t allowed to do that either.