They Walk

Chapter Eighty Six

With not even a last look at anyone, they all climb out of the car and leave me sitting inside alone and stunned. Like all the times in the past, they all begin to shoot into the horde, even the once skittish little brother of Maria; Michael. Somehow they actually manage to push the dead out of the way, so that they can start to make a path for themselves. As they head for the wall, I really believe that they are going to just leave me here. With a cry for them to wait, I quickly climb over Gabe’s seat and for the open door, all the while ignoring the way the world tilts on me as I move.

I’m just reaching the door and using it to pull myself out, when the voices start.

It’s a strange feeling having the sounds around you dim and turns to static. Even stranger, are having that static fill up with voices of people that aren’t even anywhere around you. Deftly, I rise to my feet and lean onto the swaying car door. I notice right off that Gabe and Dan are doing most of the shooting a couple feet in front of me. Then quickly find out that Maria and Michael huddle close to them, like they are afraid to lose them in the crowed.

What about me?

Shouldn’t they want to stick close to me too? I mean, yeah sure I’m a little incapacitated at the moment, but I’ve done my fair share of ax swinging in the past. I want to shout at them to stop and wait, but I can’t. A feeling of wrongness weighs on me. It’s so overwhelmingly strong, that I go stock still and quiet. Then I know like a shock to my system, that whatever I’m feeling and now hearing in not remotely close to being normal. Something is seriously wrong with me. I know it. Because the voices I’m hearing?

It’s Gabe and the others.

But that can’t be right can it? I hear them as if they were right beside me, when I know for a fact that they are not. Obviously I can see them running in front of me. So why can I hear them now? I try to force myself to focus, but it doesn’t happen. If anything, my mind goes mushy with confusion. A throbbing ache that pulses with my rapid heart rate pierces inside my head forcing my eyes to squeeze shut. You’d think this new wave of pain would dim the voices, but the voices get louder instead.

I can hear Gabe the loudest, almost like he’s standing right in front of me yelling in my face. He’s telling me to hang on and not to leave him. The wavering pain in his words makes me want to ease his suffering, but I can’t find my voice around all the pain in my head. Distantly, as if a whisper, I can hear Dan repeating about hanging on. He practically urges me to snap out of it, and I can’t help thinking that it would make sense in my falling apart mind, to try to get myself to fight and keep going. Because obviously the voices are my subconscious talking…right?

Yeah that’s sane.

Of course the other alternative doesn’t exactly make me feel any better. What alternative you ask? Well, given the circumstances, I’m starting to think maybe I’m either dead or dying. Not exactly something fun to think about. At least this way is almost peaceful if I factor out the pain in my head and its way better than being eaten by hundreds of the dead. So really, my day isn’t going too bad…in theory.

The voices fade enough that I become aware as the others are shooting into the dead and just barely clearing a path around them enough to begin to run. I stand frozen by the car, not sure what the best attack plan is. I can’t just run after them can I? It would seem that I’m finally cracking under the pressure of it all. They act like they know it too and are fine with just leaving me to die. Deep down I know that can’t be true. Not after everything we have all been together, I mean really it’s not like we were strangers before this. Dan is my brother for goodness sakes, and Gabe, well he’s the love of my life now.

I’m so confused.

I’m all alone.

And worse of all, I feel so out of control.

For once though the dead are leaving me alone, this in itself is strange. Usually they charge for the weak and vulnerable…meaning me, basically. And yet they leave me alone? That can’t be right. I will take my pass though, even if I could very well be dying at the moment or going completely mental. Actually, you know what? Freak that, I’m not staying here to be dead people meat. I’m getting the hell out of dodge.

Before I can even flex my muscles to take a step forward, I have the sensation that I’m in two places at once. Complete with vertigo and I need to know why. So, biting the inside of my cheek and tasting the salty sweetness of blood, I push away from the car. My legs shake enough that I wonder if I’m about to fall flat on my face. My entire body just wants to buckle to the ground in defeat. But grinding my teeth together allows for me to find some semblance of balance to remain upright. My head does throb from the sudden change from movement to stillness.

It’s like an old friend at this point though, I must be getting used to it.

The feeling of being in two places at once overrides the pain. I suddenly feel like I’m sitting back inside the car again. The clarity of the sensation makes me go numb…well no that’s not true. I can feel my head throbbing like it is now but at the same time stronger somehow. My body feels so weak and tired in both scenarios that it makes me want to just lie down and give up altogether. Then something happens that makes me gasp. Warm strong hands press into my cheeks and hold me protectively. I physically sigh into them. A peace that I haven’t felt in a while wraps around me like a security blanket that I never want to lose track of.

The voices become clear. Gabe’s voice becomes clear and I can’t avoid it.

“Maggie please hear me, I can’t lose you. Not now and maybe not ever.” His hands tighten, urging me to listen. “Just hang on a little longer, all we need is time. We’re so close to being safe. It can’t end here. Not like this.”

His voice fades before I can try to respond or even think if his voice is real. It makes me feel like everything is spinning out of my control. I’m seriously contemplating climbing back into the car, and just letting this crazy trip ride me like a roller coaster ride, when the sound of a bomb blazes through my senses.

My eyes go wide, and I go back to just hearing what is all around me and not in my own head.

The early dawn lights up as the ground quakes, bodies of the living and the dead are running around now. While trapped in my head, I lost sight of the others and quickly search out for them. It doesn’t take long until I find them, and I see them in the distance much closer to the wall than they were moments ago.

Screaming for Gabe and Dan, I force myself up off the road. I rush farther forward on rubbery legs, but neither of them turns around. I feel like I’m wearing lead shoes suddenly and I know it’s going to either take forever to reach them, or I’m going to black out. My head throbs harshly now, and my vision narrows down to Gabe a few feet before me.

There is chaos all around, people running and screaming, while rushing to the wall.

Guns are going off, with the bombs still falling from the sky and shaking the ground I run on. The sky is filled with smoke that burns my eyes. I have to force them to stay open, and they water from the strain of it. All the while, I feel like I’m running in slow motion and it feels like the closer I get to Gabe, he just gets farther and farther away. He and the rest are getting closer to the wall now, and aren’t alone. There is hundreds of the living with them, along with the never ceasing bodies of the walking dead. They still firing into the dead, as if they even have a chance, but then again maybe they do.

When the other voices come back into my head again, they cause me to stumble to a stop. I shut my eyes against their voices. A keening whine rises in the background, I think just might belong to me.

“…please, hang on just a little longer.” His words send a throbbing urgency through me.

All I want in this moment is to comply. But I can’t. My limbs are heavy and feel as if they aren’t even mine. This rings a little close to home since I can still feel my other body lying on the cold hard road. I feel nothing in this one, except for Gabe’s hands that hold me immobile. Each of his strong fingers press into my cheeks with enough pressure that they keep me focused. I cling to the sensation.

Then other sounds beside Gabe rise up around me.

“Gabe…we can’t…stay here…it’s not…” My brother’s voice comes through my mind muddled, less clear than Gabe’s.

This could be from the constant gunfire all around me now. It’s not alone either. The sound of flesh striking flesh is a constant echo in the air and so are the growls. I wish I could avoid hearing those ever again, but in a way it’s kind of a comfort. If the growls are the dead and the dead are where this other version of me is, and then is that me the real one?

I don’t get the chance to debate the logistics of my mental stability for long, because I suddenly feel something other than Gabe’s hands on the other version of me sitting down. It’s a wetness sliding down my cheeks. Call it experience or female instinct, but I doubt this is contributed to tears. For one, the wetness is practically hot and secondly it oozes in a slow going thickness.

Gabe’s hands slide in the wetness. “No Maggie, not yet…please. Damn it.”

“Gabe, what is that?” Dan’s voice is closer now, but still fuzzy sounding. “Is that…blood? Shit. Enough of this, we have to move NOW!”

“Shut it Daniel, just keep them away from us, can you do that please?” Gabe’s hands tighten on me, it’s a little terrifying. “I don’t want to move her and make it worse. Damn it, why is this happening. Maggie? Can you move? Please talk to me...”

A though rips through me then. I think I might be dying.

My whimper becomes louder and it’s not long before I hear myself struggle with the words I want so badly to scream.

“Don’t…here…please…leave…wait.”

Gabe gasps and moves in so close to me that I can feel the warmth of his breath on my face.

“Maggie? I’m not leaving you. Never.” He pauses. “Dan is right though, we have to move. Can you move you think?”

“Dying…can’t…wall…far…hurts...tired.”

“No, you’re not going to die, not today, not any time soon. We just have to get out of here. I know your tired, just stay awake long enough for me to get you safe.”

More whimpers slide past my lips as I try to tell him about the wall. He takes this as confirmation because his hands slide down my cheeks and move like he is going to pick me up. He doesn’t get the chance though. He’s gone is a blink and then so am I.

I feel my body in two places at once for a moment before I’m slammed fully back into the body of me on the road. This causes me to stumble to the ground roughly on my knees. I don’t feel any pain as the blow sends vibrations up my legs. I see the same rushing chaos all around, which still seems to be ignoring me, before my eyes close. My body quivers, then falls face first onto the road slamming my cheeks to the pavement. It should cause immense pain to rise up in my already pain filled head, but it doesn’t.

I sigh, too exhausted to wonder if I’m really losing my mind. Instead, I allow myself to really believe that I might be truly dying. Why else would I be seeing whatever it is that I’m seeing and feeling? I should be terrified, I should sad, I should be…

…back in the in the car again.

A struggle of wet mushy sounds of blade cutting through soft flesh and meat joins in on the constant stream of gunshots everywhere. It makes me want to gag or go back to being alone maybe. I’m still sitting in the car from before, but now my body is turned so that I’m half in and half out, there are hands on me. They are soft and hesitant, and not Gabe’s.

I start to slip off the seat, but the hands straighten me out. “Crap, sorry Maggie. Gabe will be right back; he’s helping Dan right quick.”

Maria?

My whimpering picks up where it left off or maybe just gets louder to me, as I try to thank her for helping me. She seems to understand because she leans in for a hug, but then she stiffens. Her hands tighten on me, enlisting pain where she touches. Her scream makes me jump. Then she is gone. I worry for a whole minute if whatever make her leave will come back to finish me off. Soon there are hands on me again, this time I know its Gabe, and he lifts me easily up in his arms.

I’m gone before my head rest against his chest.

Things get a little wonky at this point. I’m neither here nor there, meaning the car or the road. It’s like I’m hovering in limbo between the two. Glimpses from both realities play before my eyes like a bad cable connection. The only thing that remains strong and constant is the pain in my head. The pounding is so severe that I wouldn’t be surprised if it just suddenly exploded. Heck, it might stop hurting if it did.

I slip from Gabe’s arms and am placed on the cold quivering ground. The air is filled with explosions and heavy smoke, while gunfire and screams rise up to meet it all. Movement is all around, but my body won’t cooperate with the need to NOT get eaten to death. Before I can worry too much, limbo pulls me back. I do feel a hesitant touch on my limp arms trying to drag me as I go through. For a brief moment I really hope it’s someone living.

Lying alone on the road again, the bomb that turned into a bright light is getting closer and closer to me. I’m having a hard time keeping up with what is going on two both of my bodies. The light from above my body on the road surrounds me now, and is so bright that I have to close my eyes from the glare of it. When I finally open my eyes again, I find that I am no longer on the road surrounded by all the dead. They seem to remain apart from the bubble of the stillness around me though. That’s when a flash of a memory forms behind my open eyes.

It plays before me like something I should have known all along.

I have the sensations of movements and muddled sounds again. Nothing makes sense, beside the fact that I am being carried, but I’m not sure by whom. As I fade away this time, I can hear Gabe yelling for me to come back to him. I really want to, I do, but I haven’t the strength anymore.

I feel my eyes fill with tears, as the pain in my body begins to fade and all that I’m left with is numbness. This doesn’t seem real, as say the other me who is a vicious zombie killing warrior. I’d almost give anything to go back to that. I get my wish when my vision goes grey and fills up with a light that seems to be coming from everywhere and nowhere at once.

Everything around me starts to disappear.

Light rises all around filling my vision. The brightness of it is so severe that my eyes close without even having to try. Giant vibrations beneath me causes an echoing ripple through my body, it takes my breath away. Light filters through my closed eyelids and I worry that this is finally it. I’m going to die. It hits me like a blow to the gut, but oddly enough, I’m not afraid. There is comfort where fear should be, numbness where pain should be. A sigh as soft as a feathers tough slips though my lips, then there is only the mind numbing darkness of nothing.

I’m gone.