They Walk

Chapter Eighty One

As I walk behind Dan and Maria, with Gabe right beside me, I’m terrified of walking back into the room where my mom is. I know I should be stronger than this, but I can’t face what I might find. Even with all this killing and non-stop crazy, I still can’t deal when someone I love is hurt, especially my own mother. As I walk behind Dan and Maria, with Gabe right beside me, I’m terrified of walking back into the room where my mom is.

I know I should be stronger than this, but I can’t face what I might find.

Even with all this killing and non-stop crazy, I still can’t deal when someone I love is hurt, especially my own mother. I can still hear the loud voices of all the people yelling behind us, but as my ears start roaring with a static that fills my head with numbness, everything begins to fade away.

I can feel myself slipping away again, and I find myself reaching out and latching onto Gabe’s hand like he is the only thing that can anchor me. He glances at me out of the corner of his eyes, but I can’t look at him, only what is ahead of me, because I’ll crumble if I do. He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze, and I use his strength to keep me moving. Dan and Maria are at the entrance of the room my mom is in, too fast for my liking. And when they disappear inside, I pause at the doorway and just stare at what is inside waiting for me.

What I find is my mom half sitting up on the small cot with a pillow behind her head, and she is awake now. She is wearing a loose fitted collared shirt and has a fresh bandage wrapped around her right shoulder that is peaking out. She looks deathly pale still, and has and IV attached to her hand that my dad is holding on her left. They are talking quietly to one another, and look up when Dan walks over to them. Kelli is rinsing her hands in a bowl of water on the other side of the room, and she too looks up as Maria goes over to her.

They are all pleased to see one another, and yet, I can’t bring myself to step into the room.

I know it seems weird, since moments ago I was worried about whether my mom was alive. But seeing her now, like she is on the bed, all weak looking, I don’t know what to do with myself. Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful she is alright, it’s just I’m afraid to run to her and hold on to her, because what if I hurt her?

She seems so frail, and it scares me more than the thought of losing her.

She smiles at us though, as if she can sense our worries and fears, and maybe she can. She always seemed to know what Dan and I were planning on doing as kids before we actually did it. She called it mother’s instinct, I call it very perceptive. Dan saunters over to the side where my dad is and stands close to him and just stares down at our mother in awe.

I watch silently as she let’s go of my father’s hand and reaches out to Dan instead. He only hesitates for a second, and then he moves closer to her and grasps her frail hand in his. Smiling, she turns to me then and for the life of me I just want to turn tail and run the other way, but I don’t. Instead, I squeeze Gabe’s hand in mine and I cross through the threshold into the room. As I do, I feel a tension in my body ease and I don’t feel as afraid anymore.

And so, with a spring in my step I hurry to my mother and can feel the tears cascade down my cheeks at every step I take. By the time I reach her, she is crying too and I grab onto her hand with the feeling that I never want to let her go. Smiling at me and then at Dan, she leans back and gets more comfortable on the bed, before giving me one of her worried mom looks.

“How are you feeling Maggie?”

Her voice is so soft and scratchy, that she immediately begins coughing, so much so, that my dad grabs for a bottle of water and begins to help her bring it to her lips. I have to laugh a little to myself, here she is fresh from just getting shot, and she is asking about me? Mother’s seriously.

“I could ask you the same thing, you know.”

She urges me to sit beside her by pulling on my hand and gently, I sit down beside her on the small cot not wanting to hurt her. When I move, I subsequently pull Gabe right along with me and he doesn’t let me go thankfully. My mom does let go of my hand though, but only so she can reach up to my cheek and tenderly touch the area around my right eye.

“It seems we scared each other Magdalena.”

I nod into her open palm, and can feel the tears still spilling out of my eyes. She brushes them away for me and I sigh into her. When she lowers her hand and picks up my fallen one, she turns to Dan and my dad then. She gives Dan the saddest and sweetest smile a mother could give her child she hasn’t seen in a while.

“I thought we’d never see you again Daniel, and I am so glad I was wrong.”

He grins at her and I can see his eyes get bright with unshed tears.

“I was pretty much thinking the same thing. It’s lucky we have a hound dog in the form of Maggie here.”

She and my dad chuckle at this, but I don’t find myself being compared to a dog all that funny. I try to glare at Dan, but it’s no use since they are all grinning over being together again. I’ll just scold him later. Dan does turn serious after a moment though, and I know what he is going to ask before he does.

“So, how are you mom?”

He asks her, but my dad turns to us and is going to answer for her. Before he can though, Kelli walks over to us then and interrupts him. Behind her, Maria is now going about cleaning some of the surgical tools in a bowl of water and it gives me chills seeing those all covered in blood.

“I managed to get the bullet out, but your mom lost a lot of blood. Under normal circumstances, I’d suggest an immediate transfusion, but we don’t have the tools for that.

The only remedy is complete bed rest until she recovers, which could be longer than usual.”

I notice then, that the hand that holds mine is ghostly pale and shaking.

Her sitting up and awake is just an illusion; she is using all her strength just to appear well. This makes me feel so guilty suddenly, that I feel sick to my stomach. I’m about to ask Kelli if there isn’t anything more that she can do, but Randy comes into the doorway then. She turns at the sound of him, and when he motions her over she gives us a brief nod before leaving the room with him and closing the door behind her.