The Sins of the Mother

Chapter 2


Olivia had been helping her mother run The Factory for four years, and was twenty-two years old, when Maribelle decided they should bring in a financial adviser to help them manage things. They were growing so rapidly with the changes Olivia had made that Maribelle could no longer handle the books herself. She had hired two more bookkeepers, but Olivia and her mother agreed they needed more than that. Maribelle put out feelers through their bank, and within a short time they recommended a young man from Vermont. Joe Grayson had a bachelor’s degree in business and economics and after graduating had become a CPA. He was twenty-seven years old, and seemed far more mature than his age. He was a quiet, solid man, and had been working in the Boston area for a year, doing accounting work for small businesses. The bank manager introduced him to Maribelle, and a week later he was going over their books. And after studying them carefully for a week, he made several suggestions that made sense to her. She hired him immediately, and although he still did work for others, he rapidly became a fixture at The Factory, and was frequently in the offices at the store. He was a pleasant, easygoing young man, with a good head for figures and a practical mind. He was even-tempered and reliable, and Olivia began discussing some of her expansion plans with him, and he gave her good advice. He never just told her what she should be doing, but explained the reasons why, and she began to consult with him more and more.

What she didn’t know, as she chatted with him whenever he came by, was that he was absolutely dazzled by her, and in awe of her advanced ideas. He could easily see that with a little careful guidance, she could turn The Factory into a major industry. He was enormously impressed by the soundness and feasibility of her plans, and he showed her how to do what she had in mind. He soon became a valuable member of their team, and Olivia had a deep respect for what he said. He added elements she knew nothing about and taught her a great deal.

And Maribelle noticed long before her daughter how taken Joe Grayson was with her. Maribelle invited him to dinner one night, in order to help things along, and after that he became a frequent guest, staying late at the office, and coming home with them at night for a simple meal. And because of his natural shyness, it took him six months to ask Olivia for a date, and she was startled when he did. She had never thought of him in that way, but only as a co-worker whose sensible suggestions she valued, and she valued his expertise with money. She discussed nearly everything with him by then, and he was always excited and astounded by her plans.

When he took her out to dinner, all they ever talked about was work, which made it even more amazing when he told her one night that he was in love with her. She had never considered that possibility at all, and looked up at him in amazement, but she had no objections to what he said. In fact, she liked the idea. They made an excellent working team, and she knew he cared about The Factory by then almost as much as she did, and they shared many of the same ideals. He was a man of sound morals and good values. He wasn’t an exciting person, but she could tell that he was a kind man. He walked her home after dinner that night and kissed her for the first time.

Their courtship wasn’t wild or exciting, he didn’t sweep her off her feet, but she wouldn’t have wanted him to. Olivia was a sensible woman herself, and she preferred the friendship they were building and the easy way they shared whatever was on their minds. Just as she trusted him to handle the money, he was certain that her creative concepts for The Factory were sound, even when they were things that had never been done before. He could see that she was building a model that could serve as a template for many, many stores. Everything she talked about made sense to him, even if it didn’t to someone else. They understood each other perfectly, sometimes even without words.

And on Valentine’s Day, three months after they had begun dating, he gave her a small diamond ring and asked her to marry him. He had no parents or living family, and all he wanted was to start a life with her. When they told her mother, Maribelle thought it was an excellent idea and she was pleased. Joe Grayson was the perfect man for her daughter. He gave her a solid foundation, and a base she could rely on, while she built her brave new world. Maribelle was thrilled. What Olivia felt for him at first wasn’t girlish or romantic, but it was solid and sure, just like his growing love for her.

They were married in a small ceremony, six months after they started dating, a year after they had met. He quit his other jobs and came to work at The Factory full time, and he laughed when Olivia turned their honeymoon into a buying trip for the store. He took her to Europe on his meager savings, and they went to England, France, and Italy, and spent the last two days in Denmark, to look at Scandinavian furniture designs. Olivia had placed several orders, and had found some remarkable things. But the most important thing she had found in her lifetime was her relationship with Joe. It was exactly what they needed and grounded them both. It gave Joe a warmth and affection he had never had, and Olivia a solid man she could rely on. Other than Ansel Morris, there had never been a male figure in her life. And she knew Joe was the right one for her.

Olivia came home from their honeymoon ecstatic about what they’d seen in Europe, and energized by her plans for the store. She was even more excited when the goods they’d ordered began arriving, and opened many of the crates herself. She and Joe went over the new inventory together at night. He was tireless in his desire to help her in every way he could. Things had been going so well that Olivia was dismayed when she began feeling sick. She had no idea what it was, but in a short time she was feeling seriously ill, and Joe was deeply concerned.

He consulted her mother, and thought Olivia should get to a doctor as soon as possible. He took her to a doctor a friend had recommended in Boston, and Olivia was even more upset when she found out what it was. She had gotten pregnant on their honeymoon, which had not been in her plans. Joe had talked longingly about having children, but they had both agreed that they wanted to wait several years, Olivia thought at least five, until she implemented everything she had in mind for The Factory’s expansion, got the business firmly on its feet, and maybe opened one or two new stores. She had no time for a baby now and cried when she heard the news. She thought a baby would ruin everything. And in spite of his sympathy for her, Joe was utterly and totally thrilled. He couldn’t think of anything more wonderful than having a child with her. Olivia was the woman of his dreams, and he promised to do everything he could to make it as easy as possible for her, and then Maribelle stepped in with an irresistible idea. She said she was ready to retire and leave the business in their hands. They were both far more knowledgeable than she was anyway, and she had contributed very little to the business in recent years. And Joe had the business end of it in full control. They no longer needed her, except to care for their child.

Maribelle offered to move in with them and take care of the baby. Olivia was overjoyed at the idea. She knew the baby would be in good hands, and she and Joe could go on working full time. And Joe was insistent that he would do everything he could to help, so that Olivia would be free to work. It was the perfect solution and made having a baby sooner than they planned far less upsetting for her. And Maribelle was thrilled. Taking care of their baby seemed like much more fun to her than working at the store. She’d been doing that for years, and it had outgrown her by leaps and bounds, thanks to Olivia and Joe.

As far as Olivia was concerned, this was no time for her to stay home. The changes she wanted to implement were crucial to the business and couldn’t wait.

She worked right up until the last day of her pregnancy, and she and Joe were going over accounts and inventory in the office late at night when her water broke. And for a moment, Olivia was scared. It was happening. It was real. He reassured her immediately, calmed her down, called her mother and the doctor, and drove her to the hospital. He hated to leave her, but they wouldn’t let him attend the birth. Instead, he sat in the waiting room for twelve hours, while Maribelle came to see him from time to time, to let him know how things were going. She said that first babies were always slow, but Olivia was doing well. He was worried sick about her, and hoped it wouldn’t be too hard for her. He was deeply in love with her by then, and excited about their firstborn.

And for Olivia, it was rougher than she’d planned or known it would be. She would have been even more frightened than she’d already been, if she had known how painful it would be. Phillip weighed just over nine pounds, and she looked exhausted and in pain when Joe saw her at last, moments after the birth. He had never loved her more, and their baby was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. They had both cried when they saw him and Joe held the baby for the first time. It seemed like a miracle to him, but to her, it was the hardest thing she’d ever done. But by the next day, she had begun recovering and thought the baby was very sweet. She nursed him for the first few days, and then they switched him to a bottle, so Maribelle would be able to feed him at night. Joe didn’t want Olivia exhausted, and from what he could tell, she had been through enough of an ordeal, and he treated Olivia like hand-blown glass when he took her and the baby home after a week. She insisted that she was feeling fine by then. She was twenty-three years old, and both she and the baby were healthy and strong.

Maribelle got Phillip on a schedule immediately, never let him out of her arms, and fussed over him constantly. And the moment she set him down, his doting father picked him up. Olivia had barely had time to bond with him, when she went back to The Factory in another week. She worked half days until Phillip was a month old, and then she went back full time. Joe thought it was a little soon, and he wanted her to regain her strength, but he knew how anxious she was to be in the store, and he didn’t have the heart to object. He shortened his own days to go home to their son, allegedly to give Maribelle a break, but in truth because he wanted to be with Phillip himself.

Phillip was a happy, easy baby, with a father and grandmother who doted on him and catered to his every need and whim. And when Olivia came home at night, she took turns with them holding him. She still couldn’t believe that she and Joe had a baby. He felt like someone else’s to her, but by the time he was six months old, Phillip’s face lit up every time he saw his mother, and sometimes Maribelle brought him to the store in the pram to visit his proud parents. Joe showed Phillip off to everyone. He had been born to be a parent, which wasn’t true of Olivia, but she was a very loving mother, even if she wasn’t around all the time. Her main focus was still the store. She was implementing all her plans, and had new ones every day. Joe could hardly keep up with her, and he couldn’t tell who he loved more, his wife or their baby. He was a profoundly happy man. And their arrangement with Maribelle taking care of Phillip had worked out ideally for all three of them. Maribelle enjoyed caring for her grandson more than she had working at the store. She was only forty-eight years old, and thrilled to have retired, particularly for such a happy cause. And Joe was the perfect partner for Olivia, and the visions she had for the store.

He had suggested that she phase out basic hardware and tools by then, and that they concentrate on the items Olivia had selected that were selling well. He knew from their spreadsheets and constantly growing profits just how brilliant Olivia was. He knew genius when he saw it. And he was teaching her more and more about finance. She was quick to learn. And Olivia had an ever-growing respect for his judgment, practical mind, and advice. And he was wonderful to her and their son. She couldn’t have wished for more. Their marriage had been the best decision she’d made so far.

Shortly after Phillip’s birth, Olivia decided to open a second store. Joe was worried about it at first and didn’t want them to overextend themselves, and then as usual, he realized she was right. They launched it within six months, at a location on Long Island, and then a third store, in New Jersey, when Phillip was a year old. He had his first birthday at the inauguration of the new store. That night she told Joe she wanted to start a store in Chicago, and he knew there was no stopping her or slowing her down. She was on a roll, but he also knew she was right and this was their time. In each location she had found an old factory similar to the one they had near Boston, their flagship store.

And by the time the plans for the Chicago store were well under way and they had found the right location, Olivia was pregnant again. She wasn’t as upset about it as she’d been before, since Maribelle said she’d be happy to take care of both children. It had worked out so well having her take care of Phillip, and Joe spent a great deal of time with him too, which was fortunate since Olivia was always running between the three stores they had. She had an instinctive sense for everything that went into the home, and a knack for finding reliable suppliers at rock-bottom prices, who were willing to follow her suggestions about design. They were growing by leaps and bounds, and so was she.

She was nine months pregnant when they opened in Chicago, and Joe was terrified she’d give birth at the opening or on the train, but she insisted she had to be there. It was the biggest store they had so far, and an overnight success. Business was already booming when they left the next day to go back to Boston, while Joe insisted she lie down the entire way and not move. He didn’t want to have to deliver their baby on the train on their way home. He thought she was crazy to have come. But she was young and strong and excited about what they were doing. They had opened three new stores in two years, and they were making more money than Joe had ever dreamed they could. Olivia had made no mistakes so far, and he didn’t think she would.

She went into labor the night they got home, and he got her to the hospital just in time. Liz was smaller than her brother had been, and was born two hours after they got to the hospital, and it was easier for Olivia than Phillip’s birth. She was beaming, holding their baby girl, when Joe walked into the room. They named her Elizabeth for his late mother, whom Olivia had never met. And, two weeks later, Olivia was back at work full time. And Maribelle loved having a granddaughter to look after too, and a new baby in the house. It was a happy moment in all their lives. And it was almost as though motherhood had made Olivia more creative than ever. Joe could only marvel at what she’d done and was planning to do.

She began traveling more then, on buying trips for all four stores, or in search of new designs. Joe missed her when she was gone, but the result of what she was doing showed up steadily on their balance sheets. Olivia never got to spend as much time with him and their children as she would have liked, but she kept telling him and herself that things would slow down to a dull roar soon, and a more manageable pace, but they never did. She was busier than ever, although she enjoyed being at home with him and the children whenever she could. But she was making millions, and Joe was investing it as fast as he could. Thanks to Olivia, their future, and that of their children, was assured. It was important to him as well as to her. She was building a fortune that would benefit all of them for many years. The Factory had become a legend, and Olivia Grayson along with it. His name was famous now too.

Olivia was never afraid to try something new or take risks, as long as Joe approved of what she did. She did nothing without his advice. And he even approved of her many trips. She never left town without consulting him, but he respected what she needed to do to maintain and improve on what they’d built. And if she wasn’t able to be with the children as much as she would have liked, Maribelle and Joe covered the bases for her. As far as they could see, their system worked, and Phillip and Liz were happy children, thriving on the love of three people instead of two. And they never seemed unhappy when their mother was out of town or at work. When that was the case, Maribelle and Joe met all their needs. They were constantly being loved, pampered, or held, even if Olivia wasn’t there to do it. It made her sad sometimes to miss important moments with them. She hadn’t been there when Liz took her first steps, or for her first tooth, but she was doing something important for them too, assuring their life and well-being in the years ahead.

They had opened four more stores, and had eight in all, when John was born three years later. They barely made it to the hospital in time for him. Olivia had been watching them inventory new merchandise that she had designed herself, and she missed all the early signs of labor. Joe rushed her to the hospital when she suddenly doubled over, and John was born in the elevator on the way to the delivery room. Joe teased her about it later, as he held his second son.

“I don’t know what you’re better at, Olivia Grayson, having babies, or running a business. You’re mighty good at both.” John had been a beautiful child and looked a lot like his mother. He was peaceful and lay in his father’s arms with an angelic look. And when Joe handed him back to her, he nestled happily at her breast. Phillip was five by then, and Liz was three, and Maribelle was delighted to take care of all three of them, and did it with ease. Olivia and John hired a housekeeper to help her, and a cook, and Joe left work early to lend a hand whenever he could. Olivia never seemed to be able to get out of the store till dinnertime, but she was religious about getting home before they went to bed. And putting them to bed herself was a sacred ritual to her, except when she was traveling, which was happening more and more. She was responsible about both her family and her work.

Olivia opened their first store abroad in a suburb outside London, followed by a store in Paris, and Dublin opened after that. Two in Germany, and another near Milan. They expanded into Sweden then, at the same time they opened a store in Texas and two on the West Coast. Olivia had been on the covers of Time, Business Week, and Fortune by then. She had become one of the most important women in business in the United States. She wasn’t arrogant or showy; she was smart, brave, and practical, and her visions for the future had no limits. She dreamed of setting up stores based on their successful model around the world. And she managed to keep their quality high, their designs appealing, and their prices on the cutting edge. Ansel Morris’s hardware store, expanded into an old factory outside Boston, had become a world event.

Olivia’s marriage to Joe remained uneventful and strong. He backed her in everything she did, ran the business side efficiently, and expected very little from her in return. He was just happy to be part of her life, and he was her biggest fan. Her mother scolded her sometimes for not spending more time with her children, but Olivia did the best she could. She loved them unquestionably, but she found business more exciting than motherhood. Joe filled in whenever he could. He and Maribelle took care of the children whenever Olivia was busy, which was most of the time. She traveled constantly. But whenever she was home, she spent her evenings with Joe and the children. She had no hunger for a racy social life, or to show off their wealth. She just enjoyed building their business into an empire, and as a result of her genius in business, their fortune grew exponentially. She talked about their children working with them one day. And never having known her own father, she valued the father that Joe was to their kids. He never missed a Little League game or a school play. He was as solid as a rock for all of them. He was someone she knew she could always depend on. He had never let her down, and she knew he never would.

Olivia thought they had the perfect family. Three children were more than she had ever dreamed of. When Phillip was twelve, Liz ten, and John seven, and Olivia was thinking about opening a store in Australia, she was startled and none too pleased to discover that she was pregnant again. She was just too busy to have a baby, and couldn’t imagine how it had happened. But Joe was ecstatic when she told him, and he said he wanted another little girl. Olivia was thirty-six by then, and Maribelle was sixty-one, but said she was willing to take care of another baby. She was totally devoted to her grandchildren, and at times more of a mother to them than Olivia was herself. She was away so much of the time, and constantly visiting their stores.

Cassandra was born seven months later. This time it was a difficult birth, she was born by cesarean section, and Olivia’s recovery took longer, and she chafed to get back to work. But the baby was exquisite and Joe was thrilled. Olivia had a harder time bonding with her than she had with the others. The pregnancy hadn’t been as easy, it had slowed her down more, and the birth had been much harder. Without even realizing it, she resented the time and energy it had taken from her dedication to her business. And she was no longer geared to having a baby. Her first three had been born within five years of each other and were all young together. Cassandra, or Cassie as they called her, had come along later in their lives and didn’t fit in as easily as the others. And right from the beginning, she was different. All three of the Grayson children were blonds, and looked like Olivia and Joe. Cassie had jet-black hair and big green eyes and looked like no one anyone could remember. And from the moment she could talk, her first word was “No!” Maribelle whispered to her son-in-law more than once that Cassie was just like her mother. Olivia had had her own ideas as a child too, but she had been much easier than Cassie, who became the family dissident.

Cassie adored her father, and early on she always complained about how little time their mother spent with them. The others had noticed it too by then, but Olivia had an empire to run, she had to rely on Joe and her mother to do for the children whatever she didn’t have the time to do. She tried to be at important events, at school plays and ballet recitals, but it was hard to cover the day to day, and Joe was always better at it, and he never criticized Olivia for the time she didn’t spend with them. He understood perfectly what she was trying to do, and what she had done. He knew he could never have done it himself. And he filled in for her whenever, wherever, and however he could. Olivia always said he was a saint. She loved her children, but he was the perfect husband and father.

It was a terrible blow for her when Joe died at sixty, and she was widowed at fifty-five. It was impossible for her to imagine her world without him in it, after thirty-two years together. And she found that the only thing that dulled the pain of the loss was work. She worked harder than ever then. Cassie was already in college, the others were grown and gone, and married, and Liz had children of her own. They didn’t need her as a daily presence anymore. And when Cass left for England, Maribelle moved into a senior residence. She was eighty years old and said that it was time. She had given Olivia a remarkable gift, which Olivia was well aware of. She had brought up her children for her, and had put in thirty years taking care of them so that Olivia could run the business that supported them all. Once Cass moved away, with her mother gone and the emptiness of her life without Joe, Olivia’s life became only about work. And the years flew by.

It had been fourteen years since Joe’s death, and now what Olivia looked forward to every year were the brief two weeks she spent on vacation with her children every summer. She had missed so much of their childhood that what she treasured now was the time she spent with them as adults. It was too late for her to repair the damage with Cass. Cassie wouldn’t let her mother do that, and had put an unbridgeable distance between them ever since her father’s death. He was still sorely missed by all. He had been such a good man, and a kind one, that Olivia’s heart still ached whenever she thought of him. Olivia knew just how lucky she had been to be married to him, and she was well aware of the blessings he had bestowed upon her life.

Olivia had started their annual vacations in order to mend her fences with her children, ever since Joe had died. It wasn’t enough, she knew, to compensate for what she hadn’t done before. She hadn’t realized at the time that while she had been assuring their future, she had been missing so much of the present and past. She knew that no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t do it all. Joe, until the very end, thought that Olivia could do no wrong. And Olivia knew how lucky she had been to have the love of a good man such as Joe. She had always loved him and their kids even if she was away a lot. Joe understood that. Not all her children did.

Olivia was still trying to make up to her children for the important moments she had missed when they were young. Her mother said they would forgive her one day, but she was beginning to wonder if that was possible. You couldn’t give someone back the time you had taken from them early on. All she could do now was try. She had always been honest with them. She had loved them, and she loved them now as adults, probably more than they realized or could understand. And some of them were more forgiving than others. Liz had done somersaults for her approval, although she had it anyway. And John didn’t seem to hold the past against her. Phillip kept her at a distance, and she knew that Cass would never forgive her for her sins, particularly for not being there when Joe died.

And in the final accounting, who was to say who was right and who was wrong? Olivia couldn’t help wondering how different it might have been if she had stopped working when the children were born, if they would have been happier, or if having her mother and Joe there for them had been enough. They would never know. Their life would have been simpler certainly, but maybe the empire she had built for them mattered to them less than she hoped. You couldn’t turn back the clock. She had done the best she could, and she still did, maintaining the business for them, and providing them with special moments and memorable summer trips. And she hoped that on the fabulous yacht she had chartered for them this year, it would be the best trip of all. One could only hope.

And she knew that what she would leave them one day, built on more than fifty years of her hard work, would sustain them, and their children’s children, for generations to come. It was her gift to them as much as her love, whether they understood that and forgave her failings and her sins, or not. The business she had built for them had been an expression of her love. The die had been cast in the decisions she had made fifty years before. Olivia still couldn’t believe how fast the time had flown.