The Saddest Song

Chapter 18

Rainey

Several emotions were battling inside of me as I watched Max sing. Pride in his talent certainly, his songs were as amazing as his voice. But the bigger one was guilt. Guilt for the way I felt when I woke up in his arms this morning. The butterflies in my stomach were not sisterly, and neither were my thoughts as I carefully untangled my body from his. As soon as I climbed out of his bed, part of me wanted to crawl right back in.

Trying to rationalize it, I grudgingly admitted to myself that he is gorgeous, and I am only human. Lying in someone’s arms all night promotes a certain intimacy. Hell, I’m almost 18 years old and I have never spent the night with a guy, not even Garrett. That alone would make my feelings understandable, right? Add that to the fact that I had almost lost him in an accident and I was just so grateful he was here and safe. Any mixed up emotions I was feeling were simply that; mixed up. We were still Max and Rainey, survivors of Garrett and best friends.

I vowed to put my inappropriate thoughts out of my head. The music ended and Rylee announced it was Jacuzzi time. Gran and Grandad said their goodnights and the rest of us changed into our bathing suits. Max seemed to be feeling better and we both thought the Jacuzzi would be good for him.

The back deck had a massive Jacuzzi built into it. The view of the lake and mountains in the starlight was gorgeous. Grandad had thought of everything when he had designed the house. He had planned a door off of the mudroom that allowed everyone to step into the Jacuzzi without having to step in the snow.

“Guys, can you imagine a better place to ring in the New Year than right here?” Ethan asked, dropping his towel and stepping into the bubbling water. I was checking out the Tattoo of a flower, I think it was a Lily, on his shoulder when he turned to help Sophie in and I looked at her in her pink bikini and was shocked to see a large tattoo of Ethan’s face on her side.

“That is amazing” I said, pointing. Sophie laughed and explained it was one of her own drawings. I knew she was an artist but I had not yet seen her work. The likeness was perfect. She explained how she had drawn it and the artist at the Tattoo shop that had done the work on Colin’s sleeves had copied it.

“So Rylee, you are the only one without a tattoo?” Max asked.

“Not for long! Colin and I are going to get each other’s names on our ring fingers!”

“What!” Sophie shouted. “Does this mean what I think it does?”

Colin laughed, “It is a lot less expensive than one of those,” he pointed to Sophie’s ring. “But Ry, you shouldn’t have told them. I thought you wanted to surprise them.”

“Sorry baby, but I hate secrets!” She put her arms around him and he kissed her while we all watched.

“Well, this calls for a celebration! I will get some champagne.” Sophie got out and wrapped a towel around herself and Ethan followed. They came back a few minutes later with six glasses of bubbly.

“A tiny bit won’t hurt you guys,” Sophie smiled as she passed the glasses out to each of us. We toasted the happy couple. We toasted our first weekend trip together. We toasted Max’s recovery. Soon our glasses were empty and I felt slightly tipsy. I felt good, light and giggly and relaxed.

We laughed and talked late into the night and when we went up to bed I said goodnight to Max and headed to my room. He didn’t need me tonight, he was doing great. Still, after I changed into pajamas I knocked on his door and peeked inside.

“If you need me, just call. I can leave my door open if you want.”

“I’m fine now Rainey, stop worrying.” He smiled and I did too.

“Okay, night Max.” I started to shut his door.

“Rainey?”

“Yeah?”

, “Do you want to sleep here?”

“Do you want me to?” I knew this was not a good idea, but I wanted him to say yes.

“Sure. You’ll sleep better if you aren’t getting up to check on me all night long.”

“True,” I said.

There was zero awkwardness between us as I climbed in. Max switched off the light, and pulled me into his arms. I fell asleep almost instantly, the sound of his heartbeat the sweetest lullaby.





Max

I dropped Rainey at her house late Sunday afternoon. Our drive had flown by as we talked about the weekend and our plans to return to the mountains for New Years. Waking up alone that morning, I wondered if I had dreamt that I had held Rainey while we slept, but then she came out of my bathroom and smiled, “Get up sleepyhead! Breakfast is in ten.” She went back to her room across the hall and I smiled as I headed for the shower.

I walked into my house prepared for my parent’s reaction to the cut on my forehead. They didn’t disappoint.

“Hi Sweetheart!” Mom’s smile died and her eyes grew bigger as she headed straight for me. “Max! What Happened?”

“I’m fine, mom. I fell snowboarding. It’s just a scratch.”

“That’s more than a scratch! Come in the kitchen so I can get the first aid kit.” I held still while she applied antibiotic ointment. “You could have been hurt badly. You have to be more careful.”

“I know. I was really lucky. Hey mom, you have to see the pictures of Sophie’s Grandparents’ house. You won’t believe this place.”

I pulled out my phone and just as I knew they would, the pictures distracted her and she examined every detail. Dad was quiet, he hadn’t said much but he kept looking at my forehead in a way that let me know he was glad my injury hadn’t been serious. Rainey had been right not to call them.

“Dinner is in an hour!” Mom called as I headed up the stairs. I tossed my bag on the floor and flopped down on my bed. I was tired, but my head felt fine. I just wanted to be alone. I needed to examine my feelings and figure out what I was doing. I had enjoyed Rainey a little too much this weekend, despite my injury. I felt closer to her than to anyone else in my life, ever. I missed her already, and it had only been forty five minutes since I dropped her off.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I smiled when I read the text. She asked how my mom took it when she saw my cut. An innocent question, but I could picture her asking. I knew her facial expressions and the inflections of her voice. I wondered if Garrett had noticed all the things that I did? Did he see the way her nose crinkled when she grinned? Had he liked the way she would tuck her hair behind her right ear while she talked? He used to say he could not deny those big brown eyes anything. Would he understand why I couldn’t either? Would he hate me from the grave for having these thoughts about his girl? As much as I adored her, I knew Rainey wasn’t mine. She only cared about me because I was Garrett’s twin. I couldn’t have her the way I was starting to want her. Still, as I texted her back, I was wishing that I could.