The Lives of Tao

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

PRELUDE



All had seemed lost. It was too dangerous to stay in Spain, for inquisitors were constantly searching for us. Our only hope was to try to survive the century and regroup. When we heard that Zoras, who was now a Grand Inquisitor, was leading an army to capture one of the last Prophus strongholds in Spain, we did the only thing we could do. Rianno and Francisco Cisneros led their small party of Prophus to a cove in the southern coast of Andalusia; we went to where a ship waited to take us across the Mediterranean Sea to the land of the Moors. We were then betrayed.



Paula Kim met them at the airport and after quick introductions, drove them to their base of operations. They settled down at a safe house disguised as an old bed and breakfast in a quaint residential part of town.

Roen marveled at the resources that the Prophus had on hand to acquire such detailed information so quickly. They pulled up doctor rotations, delivery schedules, even the vacation days that were being taken by the staff. After the meeting, the group broke apart for final preparations. Everyone went about their downtime a bit differently.

Sonya was busy poring over the maps again with Paula. Stephen and Dylan were at a table playing cards and swapping stories. Roen sat in the corner away from the others, meticulously wiping down his FN Five-seven pistol and studying its every detail. This was the first mission that he actually felt the part of a spy instead of a glorified bodyguard. His initial excitement on the plane had long faded, replaced with doubts. The idea of what they were about to do left him with a bad taste in his mouth. He kept himself preoccupied by working on the gun.

An hour later, his gun was spotless, but Roen kept taking it apart, cleaning the parts, and putting it back together. Besides the gun, he was allowed to carry a knife in his boot and a few flash bangs. He felt almost silly walking into a hospital so heavily armed, but it was better to be prepared just in case. This was his life as a Prophus agent – possible danger at every corner, always looking over his shoulder. It was still a strange feeling, one that he couldn’t quite get used to.

Stephen came over and sat next to him. “If I polished my gun as much as you are right now, my wife would get jealous. Something on your mind, son?”

Roen shook his head. “No, sir. Well, to be honest, I have some doubts. It’s one thing to fight an enemy trying to kill me. It’s another to take out an innocent person, an ally no less, just to free his Quasing. Before I never had to question myself if what I’m doing is right. But now...”

“You can’t take deeds at face value, son,” Stephen said. “Sometimes, what seems evil may prove to do good down the road. It’s a brutal world we live in. It’s never black and white. You have to learn to see how pushing over one domino affects the rest of the puzzle.”

“I think no matter how you try to justify the good of this mission, it just feels wrong,” Roen said.

Stephen scratched his chin. “I don’t know about that, Roen. One of the agents we lost because of these safe house lockouts was a buddy of mine. Jack and I went back thirty years. Good man. I wouldn’t be standing here if it wasn’t for him on more than one occasion. I wasn’t there for him when he was caught out in the open in Austria; I’d like to think that I’m doing everything in my power to make up for it. Gregory and I go back a ways; he was my friend. I know he’d think the same thing.”

He paused. “I checked your files. This is your first high-level field mission?” Roen nodded. “And you have credit for a past kill?”

Roen shook his head. “Guy had two left feet and tripped off a building. I never actually shot anyone.”

“Not a bad thing,” Stephen said. “Just remember to respect the gun. Remember what it can do.”

Roen nodded. “I really don’t want to kill people.”

Stephen shook his head. “Sane men never do. That makes you human. Folks who have no regard for life are the ones you have to worry about. The day you find yourself not caring if someone lives or dies is the day you should hang up your spurs and quit this line of work. It means you’re losing your humanity, and that humanity is what the Prophus are fighting for.” Stephen stood up and patted him on the back. “Just remember, son, always look for a reason not to shoot. You remember that and you’ll be fine.”

Roen watched Stephen rejoin Dylan and continue their card game. Why would Stephen tell him to not shoot? Wasn’t that the reason they were here? To shoot and kill the enemy? The thought of killing someone made Roen nauseous. He just didn’t want taking someone’s life on his conscience. He didn’t know if he could live with himself.

“Tao, I don’t think I’m in the right line of work.”

Roen, what you are thinking is perfectly natural. In fact, I am glad you feel this way. A natural killer who shows no remorse is not the kind of host I want to have, and not one that the Prophus needs when life and death is on the line. Duty and responsibility are heavy things, and not something you should treat lightly. If it is not a burden to you, then you are in the wrong line of work.

Sonya came by later. She sat down next to him and grabbed his gun, putting it aside. “Hey you, how’s it going?” She put her hand in his and he felt the small calluses on her trigger finger.

“I was kind of hoping our first trip together would be to the Bahamas or Vegas. This wasn’t high on my list of vacation destinations.”

This is the part where I interrupt. You have other things to worry about than flirting with your commander.

She chuckled. “Baji warned me about Tao and his hosts. You need to focus on the mission.”

“Warned you?” he mused. “I’m hardly a danger to anyone.”

“You underestimate yourself, Roen Tan,” she murmured. “It’s late. You should get some sleep.”

“Aye, aye, ma’am.” He saluted.

She waved him off. “Military protocol sounds silly coming from you for some reason. Just remember; we’re not in the gym anymore.” She put her hands on his shoulder and leaned over. “You leave in four hours.”

Sleep did not come easily that night. Restless with anticipation, Roen spent the quiet hours tossing around in bed. He envied the two older men sharing a room with him as they slept, seemingly oblivious to their surroundings. It figured that the only time he actually needed to sleep, he couldn’t.

Relax. You are as jumpy as a kid on prom night.

“I never went to prom.”

You know what I mean. Settle down a bit. Take a deep breath.

“How do they sleep so well?”

Experience, many years of it. One day, you will be like them too.

“If I live that long.”

Hush, sunshine.

Roen sat up in his cot and started counting seconds of the clock. His lack of sleep just exacerbated his mood. Not a good way to start his budding career as a real spy.

He lay back down and stared at the ceiling, his mind wandering randomly. Would his parents understand? Would his dad be proud? Would they get some kind of severance if he died? Kathy seemed to be getting something. Should he give some to Jill? If something happened to him, would she think he just blew her off?

What about Antonio? After all, he does pay half the rent. What about his cat? Roen had heard about people who put their pets in their will. Maybe he should have a will drawn up. Maybe he should become an organ donor, but who would want organs riddled with bullet holes?

Roen.

“Yes, Tao?”

Go to sleep.