The Back Road

40

Day Seven: Thursday

Leo was surprised to find Max sitting alone in the kitchen. She had kept out of the way for as long as possible this morning, but the house seemed quiet, so she’d decided to finally emerge from her bedroom. She was definitely going home today.

‘Morning, Max. Where are Jake and Rubes?’

Max was playing with, rather than eating, a bowl of cornflakes. If he’d seen the twins doing that, she knew what he would have said to them.

‘I’m at a bit of a loose end today,’ he said. ‘It’s a friends’ birthday, so about ten of them have gone off to Chester Zoo this morning, and then to the soft play place this afternoon. Whatever happened to a two hour party with jelly and cake?’

‘Not to mention the potted beef sandwiches,’ Leo replied with a grin. ‘My mum gave the very best parties when I was little. She made everything from scratch, and we had prizes for all the games. It took effort to hold a party then. Now it seems it’s about who has the most money.’

‘Tell me about it,’ Max said. ‘Even when they have parties at home, they have to have some sort of entertainer along. Well, when the twins have their sixth birthday they can have an entertainer. Me. And Ellie will make buns. It will be a novelty for them all.’

‘Just thank your lucky stars you’re not having to arrange a stag do in this day and age. If you don’t go to Prague or Las Vegas for a minimum of three days, it’s not much of a party, as far as I can see.’

‘Bloody waste of money. Anything you’ve got should be spent on the wedding and honeymoon, in my book. It’s not about getting pissed with your mates, it’s about dedicating yourself to somebody else for the rest of your life, as far as I’m concerned.’

Leo went quiet. Max had given her an opening here, and she wasn’t sure whether she should take it or not. She pointed, as usual, to the fancy coffee machine.

‘Want one?’

‘Please - but make it a large espresso. I need the caffeine. I didn’t sleep too well.’

Leo put the cup under the nozzle and pressed the button twice for a double espresso. As the beans ground, she got some milk out of the fridge for her cappuccino, and thought about how she was going to raise a tricky subject. By the time she had made both drinks, she was pretty clear what she was going to say.

She put Max’s coffee in front of him, and sat down opposite.

‘Max - I need to talk to you,’ she said.

‘No. You don’t, Leo. I need to talk to you.’ He held his hands up, as if to prevent her from interrupting. ‘I’ve done something crazy, and I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve been a complete idiot, and I don’t know how Ellie’s going to forgive me. Every morning for the past two months, I have woken up thinking “This has to stop” but by the end of the day, I’m back to where I started. Being a total wanker.’

Max put his head down, and rested his forehead on the heels of his hands.

Leo felt her heart sink.

‘So it’s true then. Ellie was right.’

Max dropped his hands, and the look of horror on his face didn’t need any interpretation.

‘You mean she knows? Christ, how did she find out? How long has she known? She’s not been happy lately, but I thought that was my fault for being such an arse. And last night… Well, never mind last night. Why didn’t she say something, if she knew?’

Leo felt an intense bubble of irritation rise up and explode.

‘Why the hell do you think she didn’t say something? Because she thought that while it was all hidden, nothing would happen. But as soon as it’s all out in the open, she thinks that you’ll leave her. She thinks the only thing stopping you is the fact that it would be too difficult for you to tell her you were going. Jesus, I thought you were different, Max. I really did. But you’re every bit as selfish, blind and stupid as ….’

Max’s head shot forward, interrupting Leo in mid flow.

‘Leave her? Leave Ellie? Why in God’s name would I want to do that? She’s my whole life - well, her and the twins. What can possibly have given her that crazy idea? It had better not be you, Leo. I know you have no time for men, but I thought you knew me better than that. I thought I might have given you a tiny bit of faith in the male species.’

‘Piss off, Max. Of course it wasn’t me,’ Leo said, with righteous indignation. ‘If you must know, I stuck up for you, although for the life of me I can’t understand why I did now. That comment was out of order.’

To do him credit, Max looked mortified, as if he knew he had leapt to the wrong conclusion.

‘Sorry, Leo. That was uncalled for, you’re right. But I can’t think of a single reason why Ellie would think that I was going to leave her. I’ve been an idiot, and she might decide to leave me, but not the other way round. Never.’

‘So you expect her total forgiveness, do you?’

Max pulled a face.

‘I know she’s going to be mad as hell, and quite rightly. But you know Ellie. She’ll get over it.’

‘You arrogant, conceited, cheating bastard. How can you just dismiss it like that? You have an affair for months, and then you say she’ll be ‘mad as hell’. Do you have even the remotest idea what you have done to her? To my sister?’

Max looked totally bewildered.

‘What the hell are you talking about, Leo? What bloody affair? You’ve lost me completely.’

‘You and that PE teacher. Alannah she’s called, isn’t she? You and her. All hush hush and making plans in private.’

Max looked as if a light had been switched on, and that it had illuminated a house of horrors.

‘Oh God. You’re not telling me that’s what she thinks, are you? I know she thinks I fancy Alannah. That’s why I try to avoid mentioning her. I don’t fancy her, though. Not even slightly.’

Max was going to have to be a lot more convincing than that.

‘So you think forgetting to mention that you’ve been to the pub with Alannah so Ellie has to hear it from somebody else is a good idea, do you? Or how about the fact that you’ve recently started telling Ellie she needs to do more exercise, as if she needs to look more like Alannah? Or getting a lift home from the staff party and going half way to bloody Stoke on Trent and back, so you and Alannah could be alone - and then lying about it. Well done, Max.’

Max looked as if he was about to interrupt, but Leo hadn’t finished. ‘Oh, and what about making plans that you’re not ready to tell Ellie about yet because she needs to be kept in the dark until it’s too late for her to stop it - whatever ‘it’ is. How do you think it made her feel to learn about that particular conversation? Jesus.’

Max’s face had drained of colour.

‘Shit. It sounds terrible when you say it like that. Look, I know I’m a brainless bugger but I’m not crazy enough to have an affair. I know perfectly well what that would do to Ellie. I know that her trust issues aren’t on a par with yours, but she doesn’t have the confidence that somebody so beautiful should have, you know.’

‘Don’t bring me into this. I’m not the one who’s lied to her - even if only by omission.’

‘You’re right, and I’m sorry for the jibe. It was unnecessary.’ Max looked straight at Leo, as if to demonstrate that he was speaking the truth. ‘There is nothing going on with Alannah. I was simply helping a friend.’

‘Then why all the sodding secrecy, Max? If it’s no big deal, why didn’t you tell Ellie?’

‘Because Alannah asked me not to, and actually - it is a pretty big deal.’ Max looked down. As well he might, Leo thought.

‘Don’t even think of not telling me, because my sister’s welfare comes way above keeping a promise to somebody else. Get real, Max. Sort out your bloody priorities.’

Max looked as if she’d slapped his face.

‘Leo, don’t ask me to say anything more. I could lose my job over this.’

‘And you could lose your wife if you don’t speak up. For Christ’s sake, you should know you can trust me. How bad is it?’

‘Terrible for Alannah. Pretty bad for me. Promise me you won’t tell Ellie, Leo. I will honestly tell her myself, but it has to come from me.’

Leo gave a curt nod of her head and watched while Max turned a teaspoon over and over in his fingers.

‘Alannah came to me a couple of months ago with a problem. Apart from being a PE teacher, she’s also a marathon runner, and a damn good one at that. But for one reason and another she’d been feeling a bit below par and lacking in stamina, so she started to get a little help.’

Max checked out Leo for reaction, and she had to wonder why. She knew exactly what he meant. Was he expecting her to be shocked?

‘What was she taking?’ she asked.

‘EPO to start with. I don’t know if you know anything about it, but basically it keeps you going for longer, I’m sure you’re not interested in the science. It’s not supposed to be addictive, and she took it to get her over a low patch.’

Max stood up from the table and walked over to the glass doors to the garden, as if Alannah’s shame was strangely his own. Leo kept quiet and waited.

‘She overdid it, and eventually she ended up injuring herself. But she had a big race coming up, so she had to block out the pain. She moved on from EPO, and bought some other drugs - Oxy, OC, whatever you want to call it. Whatever name you come up with, it’s Oxycodone, illegal to buy on the streets, and highly addictive.’

‘So? Why can’t you tell Ellie that?’

‘First of all, I kept it from her because the fewer people that know the better. Alannah would be sacked, but more than that I should have reported her, and I didn’t. I wanted her to get treatment for it before it all has to come out.’

‘And second of all…?’ Leo asked. Max glanced round at her, and could no doubt tell from her determined expression that Leo wasn’t about to give up. He locked his hands behind his head and looked up at the sky through the window.

‘She stole some money - from school. I was one of the organisers of the school play, and she helped. She took some of the ticket money. She’d planned to put it back, but she was maxed out on her credit cards and overdraft. I put the money back when I found out.’

Max dropped his hands to his side and turned round to face Leo.

‘I’d lose my job too if any of this came out, Leo. I couldn’t tell Ellie. She would be understandably furious that I should put myself at risk like this. But money doesn’t seem to be such a big issue in this house anymore, and I thought it would help.’ Max gave a humourless laugh. ‘It didn’t. On Friday night the reason that we went via Stoke on Trent as you put it - although that’s a bit of an exaggeration - is because she wanted to ask me to give her some more money. To help her out again. I was too pissed to give a sensible response on Friday - so she phoned here on Sunday I told her never to do that again. Imagine if Ellie had answered? Anyway, I refused to give her any more. I said it wouldn’t help, and she had the six week holiday to get herself sorted. I don’t know if she thinks she can blackmail me, but she can do her worst. I’m not giving her any more.’

‘Well, I have enormous sympathy with her problem. But nowhere near as much as I have with my sister, who - thanks to the two of you - has been going through absolute hell for the past few weeks. She’s distraught, Max. Frantic with worry. She’s waiting for you to drop the bombshell that you’re leaving.’

Max stared at Leo as if the world was collapsing around him.

‘If I’d realised she thought that, I would have told her everything about Alannah. I promise you. It seemed like the least of my problems, frankly.’

Leo made herself take a long, calming breath. She was mad at Max, but it was nowhere near as catastrophic as she had thought. If this wasn’t the problem that was haunting him and breaking her sister’s marriage into pieces, she was determined to find out what was.

‘So if you’ve not been having an affair, what have you been doing that you don’t want Ellie to find out until it’s too late for her to stop it?’

Max couldn’t meet Leo’s eyes as he told her of his idiotic plans that made a few pounds from the school play seem beyond trivial.