The Back Road

36

After the events of the morning Ellie had to get out of the house, and so she had grabbed four bags-for-life from the cupboard and set off for the supermarket. Shopping for food and the thought of what she might invent for dinner once this phase of endless shifts was over had cheered her up a little, and by the time she got home she was sorry to see that the house appeared deserted.

As she drew her car to a stop by the front door, she looked at her watch. Max must have taken the kids somewhere again. She had expected to see at least his car, and probably Leo’s too. So where was everybody?

Walking round to the kitchen door with the first of the shopping bags, she was surprised to find it very slightly ajar. She must have been wrong. Somebody must be home.

But the kitchen was deserted, and the house seemed silent.

She quietly lowered the bags onto the floor and stood still to listen. Nothing. Max must have gone out and left the bloody door open again - how many times did she have to remind him?

But what if he hadn’t? What if it was him - sneaking into her house while they were all out? Again.

Ellie didn’t know what to do. Should she face him and have it out with him now? What would he do to her? If they were alone in the house, she knew what he would want - far more than she was prepared to give. She never thought she would be scared of him, but after their conversation this morning she was no longer certain.

Perhaps she should go back and sit in the car until somebody came home.

No. That wouldn’t do. She had to know. She didn’t want to see him, or for him to know that she was here. But she needed to be sure. If anybody knew how to get into their house undetected, it was him.

Kicking off her shoes she silently made her way from the kitchen through the atrium to the hallway. She stood there quietly for a moment, but there wasn’t a sound.

There was nobody there. She hadn’t realised that she was holding her breath, but with a huge sigh of relief she turned to go back to the kitchen.

Clunk. Behind her, but above. Something dropped or closed. And she definitely wasn’t imagining it.

There was somebody in her house.

She shouldn’t be terrified, but she was. Why was he doing this to her? She really didn’t want to be on her own with him in an empty house.

Clunk. There it was again. Before she could force herself to move, she heard the unmistakable sound of the creaking step at the top of the staircase, and she knew that he was about to appear. She couldn’t make it back to the kitchen without being seen.

She had no choice - she would have to hide in the sitting room.

She silently eased open the door and crept inside, pushing the door as far as she dared so that it was almost closed, but not so far that it made a sound. Flattening herself against the wall, she held her breath for a long moment.

Oh God - please don’t let him find me in here.

He was at the bottom of the stairs. She could hear him breathing, and she heard a soft laugh. One that she recognised only too well. He knew she was here. How, she didn’t know.

The sitting room door slowly began to open inwards, and Ellie groped behind her for a weapon - her hands making contact with a pewter candlestick.

In the glass cover of a painting hanging above the fireplace she could see the silhouette of a man, backlit from the window in the hallway. She could make out no features, but those wide shoulders were a giveaway.

Then she heard the laugh again. He had found her.

Whipping the door open, she swung her body round to face him, her fear replaced by fury. She advanced towards him, and he backed away into the hall, holding his hands high in mock surrender.

‘You bastard. What the hell are you doing in my house? You’ve gone too far this time - this is too much. I knew it was you all along - sneaking in and creeping through my things. You shit. What do you think Max would say if he found you here?’ she screamed at him.

He smiled, and moved towards her, grabbing her arms and pushing her back inside the sitting room. He easily gripped both of her wrists in one of his large, strong hands and held them above her head, running his other hand down her body from her neck to her hip.

She was about to scream when she heard the last voice she was expecting, coming from the landing above.

‘Ellie? What the hell are you shouting at Sean for?’

Max.

Oh Christ - what had she done? What had she said?

For a moment, Ellie was incapable of responding. Had she given herself away? Sean just smiled and let go of her wrists, guiding her out into the hallway.

She looked up to where Max was leaning over the banister, looking both mystified and annoyed. She was speechless. But Sean was still smirking.

‘It’s okay Max. I think I frightened the life out of Miss Scarlet here. At least she didn’t hit me with the candlestick that she’s brandishing. She must have thought I was a burglar.’

Max didn’t look entirely convinced.

‘A burglar. For God’s sake, Ellie. I asked Sean to come round and look at changing the locks. I thought that would make you happy. While he was here, he was just helping me to carry that new toy box upstairs.’

Ellie couldn’t stop herself from shooting a glance of fury over her shoulder. I bet he thought that was a joke. As if Sean changing the locks would solve the problems. He’d just have spares cut, and they would be back to square one.

Pulling herself together quickly, Ellie managed to muster up a weak smile from somewhere.

‘There are no cars here, though - I thought nobody was home.’

‘We left the cars round the side - because that’s where you keep telling me to park. Leo’s gone out, and the twins have been given the special honour of thirty minutes watching the “ginormous” television in the media room to keep them out of the way. I’ll be down in a second. Maybe you could offer Sean a drink or something by way of apology for nearly ripping his head off.’

Max disappeared from view, and Ellie closed her eyes and felt herself crumple with the relief, almost forgetting that she wasn’t alone.

‘I won’t stay for a drink, Ellie. Don’t look so worried.’ The smile slipped from Sean’s face. ‘The truth is, I can’t stand to see you two together. Not like last night. I didn’t like that.’

He reached out and grabbed her wrist, gripping it tightly. ‘I mean it Ellie. I didn’t like it.’ He let go of her, and she rubbed her arm fiercely with the other hand as if to erase all trace of him from her skin. ‘I’ll be off - but you know where I am - always.’

He turned towards the door, then stopped. ‘And by the way, while Max wasn’t paying attention I used the opportunity to move a few things around. I like the thought of something I bought you being in your bathroom, watching you undress, take a bath, take a shower. That’s why I bought it. Don’t move it again, Ellie.’

* * *

I can hear things now. And I can feel things. I feel sore. My feet hurt - was that from kicking the door? No - that was THEN. That was a long time ago. I’m getting confused.

I was going to see Chloe. That’s right! I’d forgotten. She was coming with her mum to get me.

But that’s not what happened.

It didn’t matter that Chloe wasn’t in the car - I understood that there had been a change of plan. I didn’t think that anything was wrong - I was so excited. I thought it was strange that I had to wear a blindfold, but it was supposed to be part of the surprise. I don’t think so now. I think it was so that I wouldn’t know where I was. I’d never be able to find my way back.

We went in the house, and we waited for Chloe. I kept asking - ‘Where’s Chloe? When’s she coming?’

‘Soon - but it’s nice for us to get to know each other while we wait, isn’t it?’

Well, I suppose so - but I really wanted to see Chloe.

I don’t know when I realised that Chloe wasn’t coming, but I was worried. It wasn’t right. It felt totally weird. So I asked if I could go home. I asked for the address so I could call my mum and dad to come and get me.

That was a bad move. My phone was whipped out of my hand and flung against the wall on the other side of the room. It’s broken now.

‘You’re not going anywhere until I say so.’ First there was anger, but then a shaky hand reached out to stroke my hair. That was worse.

‘Don’t touch me,’ I squealed.

‘Don’t be silly, baby. It’s okay if I touch you. I was meant to touch you. See, like this. It doesn’t hurt, does it? Let me kiss you.’

Those lips came down and touched my cheek. They felt dry and cracked as they scraped my face and planted kiss after kiss on me. I felt sick. An arm went round me to pull me into a hug. There was a wet patch on the T-shirt and the smell of fresh sweat. It was horrible, but I couldn’t move. I was too scared.

‘I want to tell you a story, Abbie. It will be our secret.’

So I listened. And then I understood. In the end, it wasn’t the words. It was the voice that I remembered.

I panicked, and started to scream. I knew I was in trouble. But I stopped when I saw what looked like a belt from a dressing gown. I knew what was going to happen as it was dangled in front of my eyes.

‘Why are you behaving like this, Abbie – as if you hate me? I thought we could be friends. I would have let you go, once you’d promised to keep our secret.’

‘We can be friends,’ I cried.

There was a laugh. A nasty laugh – another reminder.

‘You’re lying to me – don’t you think I know when you’re lying?’

I begged and begged not to be tied up. I promised not to move. I kicked off my shoes to show that I couldn’t go anywhere. I couldn’t escape.

But it was the parcel tape I was most scared of. That’s how people die. I was too scared to speak. I just kept thinking that I know how to be quiet. Shh. Be still. Be quiet. Not a sound. I remember, see! I know how to be quiet.

I don’t know what happened then. There was a beep from a phone. Not my phone. But for the first time the intense, wild stare of those eyes was off me. I would only get one chance, because now I knew. I knew too much, and I couldn’t be allowed to go free.

I was close to the back door. I prayed that it would be unlocked. I picked up the glass of Coke that I’d been given when I got there – when we were being friendly. I hadn’t drunk any - I was waiting for Chloe. I threw myself out of the chair and grabbed for the door handle, turning round to hurl the contents of the glass at the horrified face behind me. Enough to make it impossible to see for a second. It worked. I was out of the door and running.

* * *

Ellie had been glad to get away from the house after the scene earlier with Sean. She’d managed to make it through lunch, but shuddered as she thought about how close she’d been to inadvertently revealing everything to Max. He, of course, had made light of it and laughed about Miss Scarlet in the library with the candlestick, but she had found it hard to join in. And she knew he was still puzzled by her reaction. Worse still, she didn’t know what Sean was going to do next, but she knew that it wasn’t finished. Not by a long way.

This week was supposed to have been an easy week for Ellie, with three short shifts and the rest of the time free to spend with Max and the twins. But it had turned into something of a marathon, working every day. In many ways, it was probably for the best. She couldn’t resent little Abbie, and it got her out of the house. Max had tried so hard last night, and she had come close to telling him everything. But then she’d seen Sean emerge from the depths of the garden and terror had overtaken her. And now she was wondering about Max. If he really was seeing Alannah and planning something with her, why would he have behaved like that last night? None of it made any sense at all.

She gave a sigh of frustration as she shouldered her way through the doors into the ICU. She had no time to think about it now. Grateful that her request to continue to care for Abbie had been heeded, she would focus on the girl and put her needs first. Glancing towards the bed, she wasn’t surprised to see that Kath was there as always. But she also noticed one piece of equipment missing from the side of Abbie’s bed, and that could only be a good thing. The nurse she was replacing saw her arrive and made her way across to the nurses’ station.

‘Great news, Ellie. Abbie’s off the ventilator and she’s much more responsive. She hasn’t opened her eyes yet, but her reaction to pain is good, and she’s breathing by herself now. Kath and Brian haven’t left her side - it’s always one or the other. But I’m quite worried about Kath. She doesn’t eat when she’s here, and she’s constantly talking about how they’ve let Abbie down. We had a couple of emergencies this morning, so I’ve not had much time to talk to her, but see what you can do will you? She shouldn’t be getting herself into such a state.’

When Ellie arrived at the bedside, the first thing she noticed was that Kath’s hand was shaking as she played with a handkerchief on her lap. Not so much from nerves, Ellie thought, but more from exhaustion. Ellie squeezed Kath’s shoulder and smiled at her by way of greeting.

‘I’m pleased to see the ventilator’s gone. You must be delighted. But you know, you might want to get a bit more sleep and make sure you eat,’ Ellie suggested quietly. ‘When Abbie comes round, she’s going to want you to be strong and able to look after her. All the signs are good now, so do take care of yourself too.’

‘I don’t suppose that Abbie will ever want to speak to me again, when she wakes up,’ Kath said.

‘Kath, you have to know that’s complete nonsense,’ Ellie said. ‘Of course she’ll want to speak to you. You’re her mum, so what makes you think that?’

‘I let her down, didn’t I? I promised we’d always keep her safe, and we didn’t. After what happened to Jessica, we swore to Abbie that we wouldn’t let anything happen to her. And look at her now. She doesn’t deserve this, you know.’

Ellie was quiet for a moment. She didn’t know who Jessica was, and wasn’t sure she should ask. Kath glanced up at her.

‘Jessica was Abbie’s sister. It’s not something we share with many people. It’s Abbie’s tale to tell, as and when she’s ready. But right now, I need somebody to talk to, and I know you won’t say anything.’

‘You can trust me, Kath. That’s a promise,’ she said.

Kath was looking down at her hands, clasping and unclasping them on her lap. She spoke without looking up.

‘Jessica was only two, and Abbie was four when it happened. Do you know, Jessica’s middle name was Chloe? That makes it even worse. I’m sure Abbie felt a connection. But nobody else could have known that, could they? It was all so long ago. Everybody must have forgotten about it by now.’

Ellie reached for Kath’s hand.

‘Are you sure you want to talk about this? I know it must have been years ago, but whatever happened, I’m sure it’s still painful. I didn’t know you had another daughter.’

Kath gave Ellie a puzzled frown, followed by a glimmer of a smile through her tears.

‘Oh no. Jessica wasn’t our child. Abbie’s adopted, I thought you knew that. I assumed it would be in her records.’

‘I had no idea. She seems like your child in every way. No parents could care more than you do.’

‘We’ve had her for a long time, so it feels as if she’s ours. I couldn’t have children so we went for adoption and we were lucky enough to get Abbie. Poor thing - she was a complete mess, and was terrified of the dark. She still is. We never told anybody that she wasn’t ours, and Abbie never said. None of her friends knew, but you know that Chloe? Well, she said that she was adopted too, and that was another link they had. She was the first person that our Abbie admitted it to. That’s how close they got on that bloody website. Abbie still misses Jessica.’

Kath pulled a small photo album from her bag.

‘This is Jessica,’ she said. ‘I brought these with me in case Abbie came round and couldn’t remember anything. I wasn’t sure about including pictures of Jess, but she still talks about her to us so I thought it might help. It’s the only photo of her that exists, as far as we know.’

Ellie looked at the old photo of two little girls, and was shocked. The girls were pencil thin with downturned mouths and grubby clothes. She guessed that the older one would be Abbie, but as she had never seen Abbie without bruises all over one side of her face, she couldn’t see any likeness. The younger one was wearing a patterned summer dress that was far too big and had a rip down one side. It hung from her tiny frame, revealing one bony shoulder. The older girl was wearing shorts and a T-shirt that looked a bit better, although not much. But it was clear to Ellie that one of her arms wasn’t hanging properly and she could see bruising around both girls’ wrists.

Kath was watching Ellie’s reaction.

‘These were taken by a neighbour. She was concerned about the girls, but by the time she got the pictures printed to show to the authorities, it was too late. Jessica was dead and Abbie had been taken into care.’

‘Poor little mites,’ Ellie said, her voice cracking as she looked at the damaged children. ‘What happened?’

‘Their mother was a prostitute. They lived in a one roomed bedsit, and I suppose the children were bad for business. So when she had clients, the girls were locked in a cupboard, bound and gagged.’

Ellie’s eyes were stinging as she looked back at the photo. Those poor, poor babies.

‘Jessica died,’ Kath said. ‘A neighbour - the same one who took the photo - managed to get to Abbie just in time. She dragged her out of the flat and held onto her while she phoned the police. Abbie’s mum got away, but they caught her soon enough. She was sent to prison for manslaughter and child cruelty, but they don’t get long, you know. Kill a child and get eight to ten years. And she’d have been out under licence in half of that. She could be married again with a couple more kids by now. I would have strangled her with my own hands if I’d got hold of her. She referred to the girls as ‘her little mistakes’ in the dock.’

Ellie had no words, but then none were expected. Anything she said would seem trivial in the face of this cruelty. She thought that her upbringing had been difficult, not to mention Leo’s. Even Fiona had endured her fair share of indifferent parenting. But their problems seemed insignificant in the light of these revelations. And after an early childhood like that, Abbie was now suffering these terrible injuries.

Ellie sat and looked at the picture of two waifs. She glanced at Abbie again, but could see no resemblance to either child in the photo. Strangely, it was Jessica’s face that kept drawing her back. Perhaps because she was the one who died, but there was something in that expression that rang a distant bell. Or maybe not. She couldn’t place it anyway, so she was probably being fanciful.