The Avery Shaw Experiment

Avery


Dance. Grayson expected me to dance. And this wasn’t middle-school dancing where you put your arms on your partner’s shoulders and turn in a circle. This was fast, fluid, and sexy. I was doomed.

Though it could have been worse. At first, Grayson tried to pull me into the crowd, but Pamela and Chloe came to my rescue.

“No way! I won this dance fair and square. You guys go find your own partners!”

Pamela crossed her arms and gave Grayson a stern look. “You cheated! As your punishment, Avery will be fulfilling the terms of her bet with Chloe and me. You said she had to dance. You didn’t say who got to teach her.”

“Yeah, she’s ours now.” Chloe tucked me behind her and pointed to the empty sofa. “You can go park it over there, Mr. Grabby McGrabbhands, and think about what you’ve done.”

Grayson eyed the couch and then frowned. “You guys are putting me in time out?”

“Yes!” Pamela very much liked that idea. “You, Grayson Kennedy, have earned a time out. Now go on. Shoo.”

Grayson looked worried for me, so Pamela eased up on him. “Avery is in excellent hands. Go find a drink or something and give us fifteen minutes to ease her into it.”

Grayson wasn’t happy, but eventually he looked at me and sighed. “You’re right. It’ll probably be easier for her to relax if it’s just you girls.” He smiled at me. “Remember it’s supposed to be fun.” He pointed to the couch that Chloe had just banished him to. “I’ll be right over there doing exactly as I’ve been told and thinking very hard about what I did.” He grinned then, so wickedly that I feared his next statement. “Remembering every glorious detail.”

I know he got smacked on the arm, but I wasn’t sure who’d done it, because I had to look away from him. The next thing I knew, I was being escorted into the middle of a crowd of people. Pamela whirled around to face me and grabbed onto my hands. “First, I just want you to relax. This isn’t as hard as you think.”

“Yeah,” Chloe chimed in. “You’ll be fine. It’s a lot easier to dance by yourself than with a guy.”

I looked at them with gratitude and a sense of awe. I’d always assumed that the most popular girls in school would be the catty mean girls you read about. Those girls definitely existed, Pam and Chloe had even warned me of the worst ones, but so far I’d discovered that Grayson didn’t put up with jerks, so the people at the top of the food chain with him were all really nice.

“You guys didn’t have to do that,” I said, even though I was more than grateful for their rescue.

“Oh, yes we did!” Chloe laughed. “Grayson gets away with murder. You were amazing out there. I can’t believe he made you mess up like that. We girls have to stick together. Plus, I was really looking forward to Owen’s strip show.”

“More than that,” Pamela said, “you are not ready to dance with Grayson.”

Chloe moaned in agreement and fanned herself. “So true. He means well, but . . .” She shivered at a memory. “That boy is trouble without even trying.”

I had no doubt about that. I looked at the couples dancing around us. That was enough to make me blush, and I was sure it would be worse dancing with Grayson.

“The best kind of trouble,” Pamela said wistfully.

I was pretty sure I understood what that look meant. Not that it was surprising that she’d dated Grayson.

Pamela may as well have been named after Pamela Anderson, because she was destined to be a supermodel. She was five ten and a perfect hourglass. She had rich chestnut hair that flowed all the way to her waist and always behaved no matter what the weather was like. She was the ideal counterpart to a guy like Grayson.

“You guys dated, didn’t you?” I asked.

She and Chloe both gave me guilty smiles.

“She was first,” Pamela said of Chloe.

“But she lasted longer,” Chloe said.

That surprised me. I was serious when I said I didn’t think anyone had ever lasted longer than the weekend with Grayson. “How long did you guys go out?”

Pamela smiled. “Not as long as you.”

“Me?” I gasped.

“It’s been almost three weeks since New Year’s Eve. I think that’s some kind of record for Grayson.”

“But Grayson and I aren’t dating!”

“Please.” Chloe laughed. “You are the closest thing to an actual girlfriend Grayson has ever had. You may not be kissing, but he doesn’t even look at other girls anymore.”

My jaw fell open and Pamela turned me around to face the couch. Grayson was sitting there watching us. He smiled at me and then yelled across the room at Pamela. “I don’t see any dancing going on! Do I need to come over there?”

Pamela rolled her eyes at him and then turned me back around.

“You see?” Chloe teased. “He only has eyes for you.”

“Completely smitten,” Pamela agreed.

I felt a flutter in my stomach and told myself it was nerves. No way could it be actual butterflies. I was in love with Aiden, not Grayson. The two brothers couldn’t be more different. Grayson and I had nothing in common. He just felt sorry for me. I was just one of the few girls he hadn’t conquered yet. It had him curious, but his interest, if it was really there, would fade. I was just a shiny new toy at the moment.

“I think it’s sweet,” Chloe said, while Pamela shook her head and laughed.

“I think it serves him right. As many girls as he’s made fall for him? It’s about time he gets a dose of his own medicine.”

I stumbled at the insinuation. “You think he’s fallen for me?”

“Enough chatting,” Pamela said with a knowing smile. “We’re supposed to be dancing. So, first I want you to just hear to the music. Listen for the beat. Close your eyes if it helps.”

She’d changed the subject, and that was fine by me. I couldn’t think about Grayson anymore, so I closed my eyes. The song was one I didn’t recognize, but the underlying beat was easy to pick out. The base was so deep that it vibrated in my chest. “Okay, so what am I supposed to do now?”

“Now? You just start to move.”

Like that was any kind of instruction?

“Try bobbing your head in time with the beat,” Chloe suggested.

“Or shifting your weight,” Pamela said. “Bounce on your toes. You have to get your whole body moving.”

I tried to copy their movements, but I felt like some kind of bobble-head whack-a-mole doll. There was no way what I was doing was considered dancing. My panic started rising, and I stopped moving. “Maybe some people just aren’t meant to do this.”

As I complained, someone stepped up behind me and I felt a pair of hands grip my upper arms. “You’re overthinking it.” Grayson’s low, soft voice sent shivers up my spine. His hands slid up my arms to my neck, and then he buried his fingers deep in my hair, massaging my scalp. “You need to loosen up.”

Slowly he pushed my head forward, rolling it from side to side until he brought it back to rest on his shoulder. He rubbed my shoulders next and then slid his hands down the entire length of my arms, leaving a trail of goose bumps where his fingers brushed along my skin.

I gasped at the sensations he was causing in me, and my eyes fluttered shut. He began to sway slowly, and my body, having melted into complete mush, matched his movements with more grace than I’d ever managed in my life.

“Dancing,” he said, “is about feeling, not thinking.”

Grayson lifted one of my arms above my head and rested it on the back of his neck. My fingers instinctively dug into his soft, thick hair. I hadn’t told them to do that. I felt Grayson’s cheek lift into a smile against the side of my head, as if he fully approved of my actions.

“Now we move together.”

His arm came around my waist, and he suddenly knocked his knee forward into the backs of mine, forcing them to unlock. Unprepared for the shift in weight, I buckled, but he’d been ready for this. He caught me, held me up tight against him, and began moving us in an almost-circular motion.

My entire body heaved a shudder of pleasure, and then I drifted away from reality into a world where nothing existed except for the two of us.

Grayson moved artfully, seductively, to the music until I felt like we were one and the same with the beat. I had never experienced anything like it. I don’t think I could have even imagined anything like it.

My body burned everywhere it was pressed against his, and every other part of me yearned jealously for the same feeling. I felt so relaxed I could almost sleep, and yet my heart pounded wildly in my chest.

“You’re doing it, Aves,” Grayson whispered against my ear. His breath caused more shivers to explode through me. “You’re a natural.”

“I’m not doing anything.” I sounded dazed and a bit breathless. Probably because I was dazed and breathless. “You’re doing this. I’m just letting you.”

Grayson laughed low and dangerous. “The guy is supposed to lead, but he’s only ever as good as his partner.”

His lips touched my neck just behind my ear, and it felt so good I let out a barely-audible whimper. His entire body tensed in response. “Aves,” he whispered in a strangled voice, “I want to kiss you.”

My mouth responded before my brain had even processed his words. “I’ve never been kissed before.”

Suddenly I was facing him, my hands resting lightly on his chest, his hands on my hips holding our bodies together in ways my mother would disapprove of. It was like the shower all over again except nowhere near as innocent. In fact, it wasn’t innocent at all. I had to fight the urge to climb up him and wrap my legs around his waist.

Grayson stared down at me as if he was stranded in the Sahara and my lips were the last drops of water in his canteen. “I know,” he said. “I want to be your first. Right here. Right now. Tell me it’s okay.”

His mouth was right there. His chest heaved as if his lungs were fighting for oxygen. His heart pounded beneath my hand. I could feel his need for me, but what surprised me was the intensity of my own desire. I wanted him to kiss me. With every fiber of my being I wanted his mouth on mine. I ached for it.

Even my heart begged for the connection, and that’s when my dream world came crashing down. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe. The room spun around me, and tears sprang into my eyes as I scrambled out of Grayson’s embrace.

“Aves?” It took Grayson a minute to figure out what happened. “Crap! Aves, I’m sorry! You okay?”

“I need to get out of here!” I gasped. “I want to go home.”

Grayson took me straight to his car, no questions asked, and headed back toward my house. He was quiet until the only evidence left of my freak out were the tears that continued to trickle down my cheeks.

“Aves, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t think. I just, I had you in my arms and you felt so good I—I didn’t think. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to kiss someone so bad in all my life.”

I turned my face to my window, leaned my forehead against the cold glass, and muttered, “I’ve never wanted someone to kiss me so bad in all my life.”

The surprise of my confession caused Grayson to slam on the breaks. The car screeched to a stop.

“What? You wanted me to?”

I tried to wipe away the rest of my tears as Grayson pulled the car over to the side of the road.

“Of course I did!” I groaned. “Every single girl at that party tonight would have wanted you to kiss them had they been in my position. Grayson, I wanted you to kiss me so bad it physically hurt.”

“Then . . . what happened? What was the problem?”

“The problem was that it was you I wanted! I wanted you to kiss me. Not Aiden.”

Grayson opened his mouth to say something and then shut it again. He looked at me for a second as if I’d asked him some kind of trick question. “Um,” he finally said. “You know, I’m really kind of okay with that. Relieved even.”

“Well, I’m not! I feel awful!”

I started to cry again. I knew I sounded like I belonged strapped to a gurney in a room with padded walls, but I couldn’t help it. I was drowning in a sea of guilt.

“I feel like I cheated on him. I know it’s stupid. We weren’t even ever together, but I loved him so much. I’ve dreamed about kissing him for so long. I have a million different scenarios written in my diary of how it would all play out when it finally happened.”

Grayson chocked back a laugh. “You do not.”

I gave him a grim look. I did. Detailed fantasies.

“I gave him my whole heart. It hasn’t even been three weeks, and I barely cry about it anymore. I have all these new friends, and I do all these new things as if Aiden never even existed. As if he wasn’t my whole universe for my entire life. It’s like I completely moved on. And I didn’t just almost kiss anybody. I almost kissed his brother. What kind of person does that?”

Grayson sat there with his hands on the wheel, staring out the windshield. Eventually he lifted his shoulders into a shrug. “Maybe you were never really in love with him.” He turned to face me with a serious look. “What you felt tonight when we almost kissed, before you panicked, have you ever felt that with Aiden?”

I felt my cheeks heat up and looked at my lap. “I’ve never felt anything like that before. I didn’t even know a person could feel like that.”

“That just proves my point,” Grayson said softly. “Aiden was your best friend. You loved him, but you weren’t in love with him.”

“Yes I was! I am!”

Grayson shook his head. “You’re in love with the idea of him, but if you were really in love with him, you never would have gone on a date with me, much less let things go as far as they did.”

We were quiet for a minute, and then Grayson tried a different approach. “Aves, you haven’t done anything wrong. Aiden let you go. You should be able to move on. Even he would want that for you.”

He was trying to make me feel better, but he was having the opposite effect. I started to cry again, so he reached over the center console and took my hand in his. He rubbed his thumb gently over the backs of my knuckles. The touch calmed me down some, which then of course made me feel guilty all over again and I started to cry harder.

“Please just take me home.”

Grayson put the car back in motion. He didn’t say another word as he drove me the last few miles to my house, but he held tight to my hand the entire way. Selfish as I am, I hung onto it, even though I’d basically just rejected him for his brother who had already made it clear he would never want me.

Even though the date ended a complete bust, Grayson, always the gentleman, walked me to my door.

“I’m sorry for losing it on you tonight.”

Grayson tipped my chin up until he could see my eyes. I wasn’t surprised by his understanding smile, but it hurt my heart. I didn’t deserve his understanding.

“Let’s consider it a good thing.”

I frowned. How in the world was this mess I’d made a good thing?

As if reading my mind, Grayson grinned. “I think we’ve officially reached the fourth stage of grief. Perhaps tonight was more of a success than we thought, eh?”

I had to think back and repeat all the stages of grief, even though it should have been obvious. “Guilt!”

Grayson laughed. He stepped forward and dropped a feather light kiss on my cheek. “One step closer to acceptance, Aves.”

He flashed me a beautiful smile and then winked at me as he climbed in his car and drove off.