The Wonder of Your Love

Four




“STOP IT, MARTHA.” KATIE ANN CLENCHED HER hands into fists at her sides and wished Martha hadn’t overheard her call her visitor by name. Even though Martha had never met the woman, she’d certainly heard a lot about her. Katie Ann wasn’t sure what was worse—Lucy Turner on the doorstep, Martha yelling, or the fact that Eli Detweiler could hear everything from the kitchen.

“You got a lot of nerve showing up here unannounced.” Martha leaned around Katie Ann, her face twisted, her voice loud.

Katie Ann, holding a lantern, could barely see Lucy’s face by the dim light. But even in the darkness, she recognized the deceitful blue eyes of the woman who’d stolen her husband. “Now is not a gut time, Lucy.”

Lucy pulled her black jacket snug. “Didn’t you get my letter telling you I was coming?”

“What letter?” Martha glared at Katie Ann. “Did you get a letter from this tramp?”

“Martha! Stop it.” Katie Ann heard footsteps and briefly wondered if this situation could get any worse.

“Everything all right in here?” Eli eased up to the door and peered through the screen.

“This woman was just leaving,” Martha said with force as her hands landed on her hips.

Katie Ann gently pushed Martha back. “Ya, Lucy. I received your letter. Please come back Monday morning. As I said, now is not a gut time, and tomorrow is the Sabbath. Please come back on Monday.”

Lucy nodded. “I’m sorry, Katie Ann. I wouldn’t have come if—”

“You’re sorry?” Martha huffed. “Little late for that, don’tcha think?”

Katie Ann took a deep breath as she recalled the way Martha often talked about Lucy. “No excuse for infidelity,” she always said. Katie Ann had reminded Martha several times that Ivan was not an innocent bystander.

“Again, I’m sorry.” Lucy took a step backward. “Katie Ann, I’ll see you on Monday morning.”

Martha slammed the heavy wooden door before anyone could say another word. Katie Ann wished the floor would open up and swallow her. Her cheeks burned, and she wondered if Eli knew about her past—about Lucy.

“You’re not really going to meet with her, are you?” Martha demanded. “And what’s this about a letter?”

“Martha, let’s finish our supper. We’ll talk about this later.” She finally looked at Eli. He was stroking his beard with one hand and glancing back and forth between Katie Ann and Martha.

“I’m not hungry anymore.” Martha pulled a brown overcoat from the rack by the door. “I’m going home.”

Again Katie Ann wondered which was worse—that Martha was mad at her for not telling her about the letter, or that she was about to be left alone with Eli.

“No, Martha. Don’t go.” She reached out to touch her arm, but her friend pulled away and put her coat on.

“I ate too much anyway.” Martha buttoned her coat as she held her chin high. “You kids have fun.”

“But—”

As the wooden door slammed for the second time, Katie Ann briefly wondered if Martha would go hunt Lucy down, and the thought touched her as much as it frightened her. She took a deep breath but couldn’t look Eli in the eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

Eli slowly walked closer and put a hand on her arm, which was unsettling. “Don’t be.”

Katie Ann pulled away and stepped back. “I’m—I’m just very embarrassed.” She could feel Eli’s eyes on her, and when she finally looked up at him, she could see the pity in his expression.

Don’t you dare feel sorry for me.

She stood taller, folding her hands in front of her. “Should we finish eating?”

“Sure.” He nodded, and Katie Ann didn’t think this night could end soon enough.

Eli followed her back to the kitchen, and they both finished eating without conversation, except for an occasional comment from Eli about how much he was enjoying the meal. Katie Ann felt obliged to offer him coffee and some peanut blossoms.

“Kaffi would be gut.” Eli stood from the table. “I saw you shivering. Should we have kaffi in the living room, in front of the fire? I can add a log.”

For a moment Katie Ann reflected fondly about how nice it would be to have a man to take care of such things, no matter how small. “Ya. Danki.”

Eli went into the living room, and Katie Ann started the percolator on top of the stove, then set to clearing the table. She was sure Martha would be over first thing in the morning to find out about Lucy’s letter, and then her friend would most likely camp out here on Monday, waiting for Lucy to arrive. She wondered how she would handle Lucy and Martha in the same room at the same time. She knew Martha’s angry attitude was propelled by love, but her ranting and raving were only going to make things harder. She’d just finished cleaning the kitchen and pulled two coffee cups from the cupboard when Eli walked into the kitchen.

“I think I hear the boppli stirring.”

Katie Ann wiped her hands on her apron. “He’s probably hungry. I’m sorry, the kaffi is almost ready. I’ll be right back.”

Eli walked toward her and reached for the coffee cups. “I can ready our kaffi if you’d like.”

His fingers brushed against hers as he took the mugs in his hands, and a tingle raced up her arms. It took her a few moments before she nodded.

When Katie Ann walked into the living room with Jonas a short while later, Eli was sitting on the couch and asked if he could hold the baby. She leaned down and eased Jonas into Eli’s arms, then stepped back. It usually made her nervous for a stranger to hold Jonas, but the warmth of the freshly stoked fire hit her, and the sight of Jonas in Eli’s arms caused a lump to swell in her throat. She could almost see Ivan sitting on the couch holding his son. She shook her head to clear the thought.

She sat down on the couch next to Eli and had to admit it was touching, the way he cradled Jonas and made funny little baby talk. She’d never seen a man do that, and she lifted her hand to her mouth as she stifled a grin.

“He is a beautiful child.” Eli glanced over at Katie Ann. “Like his—”

“If you say grossmammi, I’ll smack you.” Katie Ann was shocked at her own playful comment, but Eli’s face lit up, and a certain amount of tension between them seemed to melt away.

“I was going to say, like his mudder.”

Katie Ann felt the flush filling her cheeks. His smooth, gentle voice sounded almost seductive, and she became very aware of how intimate this scene was. But as he returned his gaze to Jonas, Katie Ann let her eyes scan the stranger sitting next to her. He was handsome, no doubt. Even beneath his long-sleeved blue shirt, she could see the strength in his arms, and she’d already noticed the tall, confident way he carried himself. A trace of gray at his temple and speckled discreetly through his beard lent him a sophistication that was attractive. His hazel eyes were soft, and when he smiled, laugh lines filled his face. Martha’s voice rang in her mind. “He’s happy, Katie Ann.”

“Danki,” she finally managed to say. She watched as Eli lifted Jonas to his shoulder, patting him on the back. She wondered if Ivan would have been as involved with Jonas as this visitor in her living room. “Tell me about your kinner,” she said.

Eli lowered Jonas, placed him faceup in his lap, and rubbed his tummy as though he’d done it a million times. “Jake is my oldest. He’s twenty-three. Then there are all my girls—Hannah, Ida Mae, Karen, Frieda, and my youngest, Maureen.” He leaned down, smiling at Jonas. “And I’ve been blessed with six grandchildren.” He glanced up at Katie. “And one on the way. Laura Jane is expecting in a couple of weeks. She’s Jake’s fraa.”

“When did your . . .” Katie Ann wondered if she was being too personal.

“When did mei fraa die?” Eli looked up, but his eyes drifted somewhere else as he spoke. “She died giving birth to Maureen. Seventeen years ago.”

“I’m so sorry,” Katie Ann said. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been on you. And the kinner.”

Eli turned to face her, and a different kind of expression filled his face, one Katie Ann couldn’t quite interpret. “I had lots of help in the beginning, but over time I realized that I was somehow going to have to be both parents, and be gut at it, if I wanted mei kinner to have a gut upbringing.” He chuckled. “Everyone tried to match me up with women in our district, but no one could compare to my Sarah.” Eli’s face brightened as he mentioned his wife’s name.

Katie Ann bit her bottom lip. Why couldn’t Ivan have loved me like that? “I’m sure you did a wonderful job raising them all. Jonas has sure taken a fancy to you.”

Eli gently lifted the baby and handed him to Katie Ann. “Ach, I don’t know about that.” He avoided meeting her eyes.

He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “I do feel like I’ve earned a bit of a vacation, so to speak. All mei kinner have made fine homes for themselves, and I plan to travel some.” He raised his brows. “Of course, I’ll still farm. My love of the land won’t change. But I plan to enjoy some time to myself.” He looked hard into Katie Ann’s eyes. “Do you think that’s selfish?”

She was surprised by the question. “Nee. I don’t. I know how much time and energy it takes to take care of one small boppli. I can’t imagine you raising six kinner on your own. Very admirable.” She smiled. “I think you’ve earned some time to yourself. Where do you plan to travel?”

Eli stood up, walked to the fire, and gave it a poke. “Ach, I have a long list.” He turned to her and smiled as he stowed the fireplace tool. “But I’m starting here in Colorado. Maybe you can tell me some nice spots to visit while I’m here?”

Katie Ann cradled Jonas in her arms and rocked him back and forth. “I’m probably not a gut person to ask. Since we’ve lived here, I’ve either been pregnant or with a newborn. I’m afraid I haven’t had a chance to travel much farther than Monte Vista, the nearest town.”

Eli sat down beside her, took a sip of his coffee, and stared at her for a moment. “You do know that several of the folks around here are trying to play matchmaker between us, no?”

Katie Ann pulled her eyes from his, again feeling a blush in her cheeks. “I—I, uh . . .”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I just felt it was best to clear the air. I’m planning to stay for a short while to do some sightseeing, so I’m sure we will be seeing each other, but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me.”

She lowered her head and rubbed her forehead. “I’m in mourning, and it would be inappropriate to . . . to . . .”

Eli ran a hand the length of his beard and shook his head. “No worries. I know you recently lost your husband, and we . . . well, we’re in two different places in life.” He shrugged. “But we could sure give them all something to talk about.” He grinned. “You said you haven’t seen much of the area. Would you and Jonas like to spend the day doing some sightseeing with me?”

Katie Ann was shaking her head before he even finished his sentence. “Nee, nee. I’m not going to fuel gossip. And besides, it’s much too cold for Jonas to take a buggy trip anywhere.”

Eli chuckled. “It must be different here than where I come from. Gossip might be frowned upon, but it’s plentiful just the same.”

Katie Ann started to agree, but Eli went on. “And no buggy ride for me. I’m going to hire a driver. You should take advantage of my offer and see some sights while I’m here visiting.” He grinned. “And providing a ride with a heater.”

It was a tempting offer, but inappropriate. “Danki. But I think not.”

“Why?”

Katie adjusted Jonas in her arms and stiffened. “Because I just can’t shuck my chores around here and go on a frivolous outing with you.”

“Why?”

She narrowed her brows. “Because I just can’t.”

Eli drank up the last of his coffee. “Okay. I just thought it might be nice for two friends to share a sightseeing trip together.”

He stood up as if preparing to leave. Finally. She rose from the couch, too, and allowed herself a few moments to dream about seeing more of the San Luis Valley, maybe even the sand dunes. She’d heard about the massive mounds just an hour away. “Where are you planning to go?”

Eli chuckled. “Aha. You are interested, just a little?”

Katie Ann shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe.” She had felt a bit claustrophobic as of late. And she’d never admit it, but it would be fun to see Vera, Lillian, and especially Martha’s reaction to her spending time with Eli. And besides, Eli’s plans for his future were so completely opposite of her own that he suddenly seemed safe. Maybe even someone she could be friends with.

“Tomorrow there isn’t worship service, so I thought I would spend the day with Elam, Vera, and the kinner. Monday I was planning to travel to the Great Sand Dunes. Have you heard of them?”

Katie Ann’s heart leaped as she considered the possibility. “Ya. I have. David took Emily there before they were married, and they said it is quite the sight.”

“I can be here with a driver on Monday at nine o’clock. How does that sound? You, me, and Jonas can have a nice lunch somewhere and see some things neither of us has seen before.” He raised a brow. “Always more fun to sightsee with a friend.”

Suddenly she remembered Lucy. “I’m sorry. I forgot that, um . . . the woman you saw earlier . . . she’ll be here Monday morning.”

Eli walked toward the front door. Katie Ann followed, watching him pull his hat and coat from the rack.

“I’m wide open on Tuesday too.”

She took a deep breath and wondered if spending time with Eli would be acceptable. It wasn’t like they were teenagers. And Eli had made it clear that he sought nothing from her but friendship. Before she could answer, Eli spoke.

“I hope that you and the woman named Lucy have a nice conversation.”

It was a strange thing to say, in light of what he had seen, and it was clearly an invitation for Katie Ann to share about Lucy, which was not going to happen. “Danki,” she said smoothly.

He looked at her, waiting.

“I’m sorry about the display earlier. Lucy is someone I knew in Lancaster County, and as you could see, Martha is not fond of her.”

Eli grinned. “I noticed that. I hope I don’t ever get on Martha’s bad side.”

Katie Ann couldn’t help but smile as she propped Jonas up on her shoulder. “It’s not a gut place to be.”

“See you on Tuesday?” Eli adjusted his hat.

Katie Ann bit her bottom lip for a moment. “I would like to see the sand dunes.” Then she shook her head. “But I don’t know, Eli—about Jonas. Maybe I shouldn’t have him out in the weather.”

Eli leaned close and touched Jonas on the cheek. “We will keep this little one bundled up well.”

Jonas puckered with delight at Eli’s touch, but Katie Ann went weak in the knees as Eli’s hand brushed against hers. She wondered if she was making the right choice about going with him. But she just nodded.


ELI FOUGHT THE night chill all the way to his cousin’s house, and by the time he got home everyone had retired for the evening. He went straight to bathe, then propped himself up on the bed. After he adjusted the lantern, he read from the Bible for a while, but eventually his thoughts about Katie Ann won over, and he closed the book. He sighed as he made a mental note to do a little extra reading from the Good Book in the morning. Right now he couldn’t seem to shake the vision of Katie Ann playfully teasing with him about not calling her a grandmother. She didn’t smile a lot, but when she did, it stirred things in Eli that had long been dormant. A thought that was both exhilarating and frightening.

He snuffed the lantern, lay back, and closed his eyes, wishing that things were different. Katie Ann was the first woman since Sarah who had lit a spark inside of him, but she was not anyone he’d ever pursue. Although she was lovely, and Jonas was a cute little boppli. He smiled, thinking about his time holding the child.

Rolling on his side, he knew those days were behind him. All he had to take care of was himself, and it had been a long time coming. But surely it was safe to spend time with Katie Ann. The woman was mourning her husband, and Eli had been deliberate in his use of the word friend in their conversations.

He rolled onto his back, then back onto his side.

So why am I having so much trouble falling asleep?


KATIE ANN FINISHED nursing Jonas, laid him back down, and watched him until he fell asleep. Normally she’d eat a bowl of homemade granola for breakfast, but this morning she’d made herself some scrambled eggs. She couldn’t wait until Jonas was old enough to sit at the table. Lillian often invited her to take dinner with her family, since they lived right next door, and Martha came for most suppers, but breakfast time was lonely.

After checking on Jonas, she carried her leftover eggs out to the barn. Maybe Dash would eat scrambled eggs. She opened the barn door and was pleased to see that the cat was using the blanket she’d laid out for him. “I have a treat for you,” she said softly as she walked across the barn. She hadn’t taken three steps when the cat dashed around the corner and out of sight. “I’ll leave this for you anyway.”

She set the plate down, then headed back up to the house. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. She looked at the clock on the wall. As Katie Ann predicted, Martha had arrived early.

“Guder mariye, Martha.”

Martha squirmed out of a black jacket and stocking cap and hung them on the rack by the door. She grunted before she asked if Katie Ann had coffee ready.

“Ya. A fresh pot in the kitchen. I knew you’d be here early.” She grinned as she closed the front door.

Martha didn’t say anything as she padded across the room in a black velour sweatsuit, her brownish-gray hair matted in the back of her head as it rested in a crumpled mess above her shoulders.

“Yes, I know. My hair is a mess.” Martha glanced over her shoulder and frowned. “But that wool head covering is warm, and I don’t care.”

Katie Ann followed her friend to the kitchen, where Martha was already helping herself to a cup from the cabinet.

“I didn’t say a thing about your hair.” Katie Ann found her own cup that she’d used earlier for coffee, and she poured herself some after Martha was done.

Martha sat down at the kitchen table, crossed her legs, and leaned back in the chair. “Now I want to hear about your time with that handsome Eli, but first things first. Tell me about this letter from Lucy.”

Katie Ann pulled out a chair across the table and sat down. “She sent me a letter a couple of weeks ago, saying she needed to talk to me about an urgent matter.”

Martha uncrossed her legs, leaned forward, and placed her palms on the table. “What urgent matter could that woman possibly need to talk to you about?”

“I don’t know.” Katie Ann shrugged. “But you don’t need to be here when she comes tomorrow.”

Martha folded her arms across her chest. Scowling, she said, “I thought I was your best friend. But you didn’t even tell me about this letter.”

“Martha . . .” Katie Ann spoke gently. “You are my best friend, but I knew you would react like this.”

Martha snapped her fingers. “A woman like that only wants one thing. Money! I bet that tramp is coming to ask for money.”

“I am not going to have you use such language in my house. Do you hear me?” Katie Ann cut her eyes at Martha across the table.

“Fine. But I’m sure she must be trying to get some money out of you. That’s got to be it.”

Katie Ann searched her heart and soul for a moment. “Maybe she’s coming to say she’s sorry?”

Martha grunted. “I doubt it.” She pointed a crooked finger at Katie Ann. “And I know it’s your people’s way to forgive and forget, but the woman had an affair with your husband.”

“I don’t need to be reminded, Martha, and yes . . . we do try hard to forgive.” She sighed. “Forgetting is not always so easy. Don’t you think I’m nervous about Lucy coming here tomorrow? But she’s traveled a very long way to talk to me.”

“I don’t care if she took a rocket from the moon. She’s got no business here.”

Katie Ann stood up, one arm folded across her churning stomach and her coffee cup in her other hand. She paced the kitchen. “I don’t want you here tomorrow morning, Martha. It will be hard enough just having Lucy here.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t be here.”

Katie Ann breathed a sigh of relief. She had expected resistance. “Gut,” she said as she smoothed wrinkles from her apron. “It will be best that way.”

Martha scratched her nose, then pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and blew her nose. Then she blew it again, and again, and again.

“Are you sick?” Katie Ann sat back down across from Martha.

“Yes, I’m sick. I’m not well at all.” Martha squeezed her nose with the handkerchief and blew with force. “I feel like poop, but I’m forced to come over here in this weather this morning to find out about a letter from that . . .” She looked up at Katie Ann and huffed. “That woman.”

“I was going to tell you. After my visit with Lucy.”

Martha shook her head as her face shriveled into a frown. “I don’t even like to hear her name.”

“Well, it doesn’t please me to say her name either.” Katie Ann decided to try to change the subject. “You said you went to the doctor the other day. Did you have this cold then?”

“I don’t have a cold. I’m much sicker.” Martha pinched her lips together.

Katie Ann knew that Martha often exaggerated her aches, pains, and illnesses. Sometimes her friend even faked ill health for attention. When the women first became friends, Martha often complained of a backache. Katie Ann was never sure of the extent of the ailment, but Martha’s backaches always manifested when she needed something from Katie Ann, even if it was just companionship. And when Martha showed the slightest sign of a cold, she was worse than a child. But Katie Ann always showered Martha with sympathy and affection—sick or not sick. Because the woman truly was her best friend.

However, Martha disliked doctors. For all her aches and pains, Katie Ann couldn’t recall one single time Martha had visited a physician.

“I’m sorry you feel poorly. What’s wrong with you?” Katie Ann tapped her finger to her chin. “And what type of routine tests did you have?”

Martha stood up from the table, straightening the collar of her black velour pullover. “Once a year I force myself to visit that idiot doctor in Alamosa, and I let him run all those stupid tests on me. And every year, I’m fine.”

“Did you mention your cold?”

Martha slammed her hands to her hips. “Did you not hear me? I don’t have a cold.” She raised her chin. “I’m very ill.” She lowered her gaze. “I have to go for more tests tomorrow.”

Katie Ann eased closer to her friend. “What kind of tests?”

“Lung tests.”

That sounded serious to Katie Ann, but she tried to speak as though she wasn’t concerned. “I’m sure everything will be fine.”

Martha sighed. “I doubt it. But we all gotta go sometime.”

She didn’t say anything more as she turned and walked toward the living room.

“Martha . . .” Katie Ann caught up to Martha by the front door. “Do you want me to go with you to the doctor?”

“And cancel that fine visit with Lucy you have scheduled?” She grunted, rolling her eyes. “I wouldn’t dream of asking you to do that.”

Katie Ann grinned as she stuffed her hands in the pockets of her apron. “Martha, now you stop it. You know I’ll cancel with Lucy to be with you.”

“Do you even know where she’s staying?”

“Well, no . . . but . . .”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll give you a full report tomorrow evening.” Martha frowned. “Kiss Jonas for me. I don’t think I should be too close to him until the doctor finds out what’s wrong with me.”

“I will. But please come over tomorrow evening and let me know what the doctor said.”

Martha cut her eyes at Katie Ann. “Only if you tell me what that horrible Lucy had to say.” She pulled on her gloves, then pointed a finger at Katie Ann. “I still say she’s here for money.”

Money was something Katie Ann had plenty of, thanks to a mysterious box of cash that had been left on her doorstep last year—money she suspected had originated from Martha, even though the woman denied it. But she couldn’t imagine Lucy coming all the way to Colorado to ask for money from Katie Ann, the woman whose husband she’d stolen.

“I don’t think she’s coming to ask for money.”

“No, you wouldn’t think that. You see the good in everyone.”

Katie Ann didn’t say anything, but she certainly didn’t see the good in what Lucy Turner had done. Or her husband. And forgiveness was much farther out of reach than Martha might realize. It was something Katie Ann struggled with daily.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

“Hey, wait.” Martha lifted her chin. “You didn’t tell me about Eli. How’d it go after I left?”

“Fine.” Katie Ann grinned, intentionally fueling Martha’s curiosity.

Martha cackled. “Really?” She leaned closer and whispered, “I think that man’s got a thing for you.”

“Well, you’re wrong. We agreed to be friends, though. And that’s all. We are at two very different places in life.”

A full smile spread across Martha’s face. “The fact that you are both trying to clarify the relationship this early on . . . well, that means something. When are you going to see him again?”

“What makes you think I’ll see him again?” Katie Ann fought to hide her expression as she realized that she was looking forward to Tuesday.

Martha tried to snap her gloved fingers. “Aha! You are going to see him again. When?”

Katie Ann lifted one shoulder as she pulled her eyes from Martha’s. “Tuesday.”

Martha’s eyes grew round. “Fabulous!”

“We’re going to travel together to see the sand dunes, as friends. Eli is hiring a driver.”

Martha crossed herself, which she often did, even though she wasn’t Catholic. “Thank God. I’ve been praying for you to find someone.” She let out a heavy sigh. “In case I kick the bucket, you’ll have someone to take care of you.”

Again Katie Ann felt sure Martha was exaggerating, but the comment was disturbing nonetheless. “Don’t say things like that, Martha.”

Martha hugged Katie Ann. “Don’t you worry about a thing.” She kissed Katie Ann on the cheek and closed the door behind her.

And for the first time since she’d met Martha and nursed her through a host of ailments, some real, some not so real— Katie Ann felt truly worried about her friend.