Take Me On

“Anyhow...I was mad at Matt. So mad I wouldn’t talk to him for days.”


She hesitates and I want this conversation over as quickly as possible. “So?”

Haley folds into herself. “After the fight, Jax called me a slut.”

Jesus. And there is finally a contender against my family for the most screwed-up award.

“Jax later apologized,” she says in a quiet voice. “He came to my home and got down on his knees and apologized. I had never seen him so upset over anything in my life...” Haley sighs. “Until when he thought I had lied to him about dating you...and then there would be tonight.”

“He should have never said it.”

“No, he shouldn’t, but you don’t understand me and Matt. My grandfather, Kaden and Jax hated him and I thought it was because he fought for Black Fire. They were mad at me for not listening. I was mad at them for not giving him a chance, so I switched gyms and began training with Matt and if the story ended there, then it wouldn’t be so bad, but it doesn’t.”

I ache for Haley because I understand downward trajectories. Regret, in my experience, can be sharper than a knife. I lift Haley, gather her onto my lap and kiss her temple. My arms create the shelter her family should be providing. I like the light weight of her against my legs, the warmth between our bodies and her beautiful fragrance filling the air.

For comfort, for strength, I rub her back like I used to do with Rachel. Haley’s a private person and sharing with me has to be like yanking a camel through the eye of a needle.

“I was mad at them, and then Jax called me a slut.” She exhales sharply. “I taught Matt how to defeat Kaden and Jax by showing him their weaknesses. I taught him how to defeat my family. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take it all back.”

I rest my cheek against the top of her head, hold her closer to me and rock her in my arms. Her fingers grasp my shirt as if a hole is threatening to appear below her feet and consume her. I think of Rachel and all the rotten decisions I made that led her to the hospital...that possibly cost her the ability to walk.

“I understand,” I tell her. “I get it. So say it. Tell me we’re still together.”





Haley

Nothing is ever easy. My relationship with Kaden and Jax is as messed up as ever, Matt wants me back, my father wouldn’t even talk to me last night after the fight with my uncle, West Young told me he loved me and I told him I needed time.

There’s a darkness inside me, this shadow that keeps me from delving into my emotions too deeply and saying it back. The last boy I loved hurt me and I’m, once again, dating a fighter.

As I walk into the gym, the uneasiness spreads. Actually, it battles against the overwhelming sense of home. When I’m here, when I’m training, it’s the only time the darkness fades away. I pause outside the locker room and watch as Kaden and Jax spar in the ring.

I try to deny it, but West also drains the darkness from my soul. I don’t want to love him, but I do. Something within me is broken; a contagion that obliterates my relationships. Like with Kaden, Jax and my father. If I continue this with West, will I also destroy him?

“You’re late!” Jax dips between the ropes and yanks off his headgear as he trots over to me. “I came early hoping we’d talk.”

I stayed locked in the attic last night and arrived late hoping we wouldn’t. “Had stuff.”

“Yeah.” He scratches the back of his head. “I didn’t call you a slut again. I was talking about what happened last year and Dad heard.”

Whatever. I roll my eyes and Jax plants a hand on my arm. “Come on, Hays—give me this. I don’t apologize to just anyone.”

And I’d really prefer the avoidance route. “I’m late and need to change.”

Jax tilts his head and sort of grins. “Are you gonna make me do this?”

“I’m not making you do anything.”

I attempt to step past him and Jax falls to his knees. He stretches out his arms to create his massive wingspan. The pounding on the bags stop and guys yell and taunt Jax from around the gym. My eyes widen. He’s humiliating himself for me.

“Hear me out,” he says. “Otherwise, I’ll be following you around like this for the rest of the day.”

A few guys slip out of the locker room and I slide to the side to let them pass and motion with my chin for Jax to join me. He stands and the gym returns to routine.

“Of all the stories you could share with your dad, why share that?” I whisper.

His eyes narrow at the mention of his father. “I wasn’t sharing with him. I was outside, talking to Kaden, and I didn’t know he was around to hear.”

“You regularly bring up I’m a slut?”

“You’re not a slut. Look, you’re dating West and it’s bringing back bad memories. Kaden and I were talking because we’re both worried. You blocked us out when you dated Matt and you’re blocking us out again. Matt hurt you, Hays, and we don’t want to see you hurt again.”