West hurts, but not in the way it hurt when I left Matt. Losing West causes my heart to break; my soul feels empty—hollow. With Matt, my bones ached, my body throbbed and my self-worth was burned to a crisp. If I had more time with West, if I had given my heart faster to him, would it have made a difference? Would he have chosen me?
I’ll never know. I permitted Matt’s memory to haunt me and the scary part is he’s still an unseen phantom stalking my every move, infesting my decisions. “Matt and I didn’t end well.”
I said this before...to John, but I couldn’t say more than that. My throat tightens and I pull at the collar of my shirt.
Mom angles her body and for the first time in over a year, I have her full, undivided attention. “What do you mean, didn’t end well?”
Say it, Haley. Say it. My mouth opens and consonants stick in my throat. The only sound that falls past my lips is a sick strangling click.
Mom pushes my hair over my shoulder. “Talk to me, Haley, but you have to breathe, too. Come on, honey.”
I do what she says and welcome each clean intake. Stupid me. Stupid, stupid me. Why can’t I say it? Why can’t I admit it? Through another breath of air, I rush out, “It was bad.”
“All right,” she says as if I admitted something huge and I guess it was huge, but it wasn’t the full truth. “All right. It’s okay.”
Mom kisses my temple, wraps both of her arms around me and pulls my head onto her shoulder. That’s when I realize I’m shaking. Not just me—the entire world. Then it blurs. “He hurt me.”
He hit me. I crave to say it. The words beg for freedom, but there’s a whisper of guilt—a whisper that I’m stupid and that if I say more, then the entire world will see my shame...that they will judge and crucify me.
I was stupid. I fell for the wrong guy. He hurt me and I paid. He hurt me and I broke. He hurt me and the rest of the world will forever condemn.
“It’s okay,” Mom says again as she rocks the two of us. “We’re going to be okay.”
West
Even though I talked to John on the phone and told him I’m still competing next Saturday and would appreciate his help, I’m apprehensive as I walk into the gym. He agreed to see me but didn’t agree to what I asked.
The moment the door shuts behind me, I drop my head. Damn. In the ring and in full gear, Kaden and Jax knock out a kick series.
John’s office sits dark and, if I’m manning up, forward is my only option. I broke the heart of a person they love. If I’m lucky, I’ll leave here with bones still intact.
I weave through the bags and call out to them, “Is John here?”
Their heads snap up in unison. The scratching of Velcro being undone breaks through the silence. Jax flies under the ropes and throws his headgear and gloves to the side. “Gotta death wish, Young?”
I show him the palm stop sign. “I’m here to talk to John. He knows I’m coming.”
With sweat pouring down his body, Jax mock glances around the gym. “Don’t see him.”
“Look, I made a mistake. I broke up with Haley because my dad said he’d pay for her college if I did.”
Jax advances on me like I said nothing. “I think you’re full of shit. I think now that Haley’s gone you want the benefit of this gym without having to respect the girl.”
“Where’s John?”
“Dunno. He told us to be here. Guess he wanted to give us an early Christmas present.”
Fuck. I’ve been set up. Jax widens his stance and I mirror the position and tighten my fist. Haley’s voice screams in my head to hold up my guard, but I don’t want to invite the hit. I’m not searching for a fight. “I’d get on my knees in front of Haley, tell her the truth and beg her to take me back if I could.”
Fire blazes out of his eyes. “Wrong choice of words.”
Jax swings and my guard goes up. I duck below the hit and sidestep out of the way. “I don’t want to fight you.”
“Too bad.”
He throws the cross and I block and meet the jab. Jax gains the low kick, but I quickly spin out of reach. “Fight!” Jax yells. “Are you a fucking man or not?”
“I’m not fighting you. I’m not here to fight you.”
We begin the dance. He attacks, and I counter but keep my blows to the block. Jax goes for the cross again, but in a snap he’s at my knees and I’m down. Dammit. I roll to keep him from gaining position and jump to my feet, guard up, ready to go again.
I do a double take when Jax leans against the ring and drinks from a water bottle. “Haley’s right. He sucks at the floor.”
Kaden slips under the ropes. “I needed more time. Never said I was a miracle worker.”
“We’ve got a week. Surely you can teach him some crazy shit by then.”
“Something’s better than nothing.” He nods at me. “You’re lucky she taught you how to block so damn well. You’re going to need it against Matt. He’s got a mean hook.”
I lower my arms when John emerges from the locker room. “She hasn’t taught him how to block a hook or an undercut. She was sticking to basics.”
Jax’s shoulders shake as he laughs. “Basics against Matt. Maybe she wanted him to die.”
Take Me On
Katie McGarry's books
- Bella Summer Takes a Chance
- Cowboy Take Me Away
- High Stakes Gamble
- Taken (Erin Bowman)
- A Cruel Bird Came to the Nest and Looked
- A Summer to Remember
- A Time to Heal
- Aerogrammes and Other Stories
- All in Good Time (The Gilded Legacy)
- American Elsewhere
- American Tropic
- Bad Games
- Binding Agreement
- Bite Me, Your Grace
- Bring Me Home for Christmas
- Come and Find Me A Novel of Suspense
- Dare Me
- Date Me (The Keatyn Chronicles)
- Death Warmed Over (Dan Shamble, Zombie PI #1)
- Fifteenth Summer
- Four Summers
- Game Over
- Life Times Stories
- Learn Me Gooder
- Leave Me Breathless
- Little Women and Me
- Midsummer's Eve
- Miss Me When I'm Gone
- Naked Came the Stranger
- Omega Days (Volume 1)
- Parlor Games A Novel
- Someday, Someday, Maybe A Novel
- Sometime Soon
- The Adjustment
- The Emerald Key
- The Game (Tom Wood)
- The Gentlemen's Hour (Boone Daniels #2)
- The Informer (Sabotage Group BB)
- The Remembered
- The Redeemed
- The Summer He Came Home
- The Summer I Became a Nerd
- The Summer I Learned to Dive
- The Summer Man
- The Summer We Came to Life
- The Supremes at Earl's All-You-Can-Eat
- The Time in Between A Novel
- Three Times a Lady
- Touching Melody
- Wind Chime Point
- Blameless
- Blood Memories
- Brains:A Zombie Memoir
- Brief-Interviews-with-Hideous-Men
- Full Measures
- Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children
- Shame on Him
- Shame on Me
- Shame on You
- The Geography of You and Me
- A Constellation of Vital Phenomena
- A Vision of Loveliness
- Abdication A Novel
- Already Gone
- Armageddon
- Blood Gorgons
- Bonnie of Evidence
- Buried (A Bone Secrets Novel)
- Confessions of a Call Center Gal
- Conservation of Shadows
- Constance A Novel
- Deadly Deception
- Death on a Pale Horse
- Death on the Pont Noir
- Diamond Girl
- Domination (A C.H.A.O.S. Novel)
- Dragon's Moon
- Elimination Night
- Every Contact Leaves a Trace
- Extinction Machine
- Fight Song A Novel
- Fire Stones
- Gideon's Corpse
- Gone to the Forest A Novel
- Harvest Moon
- Hitman Damnation
- Honey Pie (Cupcake Club)
- Honor Student
- Honor Thy Teacher (Honor Series)
- Honor Thy Thug
- Invasion Colorado
- Kind One
- Light on Lucrezia
- Lionheart A Novel
- Montaro Caine A Novel
- Moon Burning
- Moon Underfoot (A Jake Crosby Thriller)
- On Dublin Street
- Once Upon a River