Sunrise Point

Chapter Six


Nora rode to the orchard with Tom and said, “I’m going to let Jed visit for a couple of hours on Sunday afternoon while I’m there.”

Jed?” Tom asked.

It might be quite a while before I call him Dad.”

But you’re going to let him meet your daughters…?”

She laughed lightly. “I’m not going to give him my daughters, I’m just going to let him see them. And let them meet him. I think it’s the right thing to do.”

Want me to be there? Just in case you get nervous?” Tom asked.

She smiled at him. “I could have sworn you found me annoying… .”

Well, maybe I did. At first. But you’re not a bad kid.”

I’m not a kid,” she said with patience. “And I’m a little unsure of him, but I’m not afraid of him. My memories of him are good. Reverend Kincaid has checked him out—I guess Jed’s telling the truth about everything.”

Does it feel like the truth?” Tom wanted to know.

It does, but I’m not relying on that. I don’t think I quite trust my instincts about truth versus lies. I’ve been wrong too much. How do you think I ended up just about penniless with two little kids and no husband or partner?”

Tom surprised her by pulling the truck to the side of the road. “As a matter of fact, I’ve been wondering. I didn’t think it was polite to ask. But since you brought it up…”

Curious, huh?” she said.

I won’t say anything to anyone,” he said. “And if you don’t want to talk about it—if it’s none of my damn business…”

It probably isn’t,” she said. “Your business, I mean. But, six months ago I could hardly talk about it at all. Noah has me slowly coming out of my shell. I’m starting to put things into perspective, giving myself a break sometimes. I was so hard on myself at first, but—well, here’s the thing—I was a college freshman, away from home for the first time. I had only had a couple of very brief boyfriends up to that point. I never had dates or anything. I wasn’t one of the popular girls in high school, so…” She shrugged. “So—I went with some friends to a baseball game. They knew a couple of the players because they’d been on the local college team and had their eyes on going to the big league. But first, the minor league. And one of them, a real handsome, athletic, talented guy flirted with me. And boy—I just bit the dust. I fell for him. Bam! Five months later, before the start of my sophomore year, I was pregnant and he was traveling with the team.” She looked down and gave another shrug.

And?” Tom said. “Then what happened?”

Well, I held my stomach in till he was back in town. I was living in a campus apartment at UC Berkeley and I guess I thought he’d marry me or something, take me with him. But he said, ‘You’ll have to get your mother to look out for you—I’m on the road all the time.’ So he went with me to my house. And my mother went crazy. She started throwing my stuff out the front door. She told me to get out. She said if I thought she was taking on a baby while I went to college, I was crazy. Everything went out the door, on the lawn.”

What stuff?” he asked.

I’d already moved into my campus apartment so there wasn’t a ton of stuff left at my house. But my mother said there wouldn’t be any more money for school or anything. She said I was obviously not smart enough for college anyway. So, we threw it all in Chad’s trunk and backseat and he said he knew a place I could stay.” She made a face. “It was a terrible place, but I guess there was a part of me that felt like I deserved it—I’d made a terrible mistake in judgment. So, I moved into this awful motel in a bad section of town. I went to social services for help and medical benefits and…and Chad went back to his team. I didn’t hear from him for months.”

Really?” Tom said. “He didn’t call you or anything?”

He called a few times, but it seemed like he wanted to know about other people, not me. Like a couple of his friends who lived around there. But they weren’t really friends—they were guys he got pot from.” She met his eyes. “Before I found out I was pregnant, which by the way I found out right away, we used to smoke a little pot. That’s something I’m sure you never did…”

Tom laughed. “Oh, of course not—not a good old boy from Humboldt County! Where we grow our own.”

You mean you did?” she asked, stunned.

You should keep that to yourself. Maxie wouldn’t be too happy about that, even though I was just a stupid kid.”

Seriously? You did?”

I was not a pothead, all right?” he said, somewhat indignantly. “I was a kid, a boy. There might’ve been a little beer, a joint. I never got in trouble.” He shook his head. “Maxie would kill me. Even now.”

She laughed at him. “Your secret is safe with me. And that describes my dabbling exactly. I realized I was pregnant with Berry and there hasn’t been any of that since. Not anything. But Chad? I had absolutely no idea, but he was a sinking ship. Since I never saw him, how would I know? But when he came back later, when I was pregnant with Fay, his appearance had changed. He’d gotten so thin—his teeth and skin were terrible. He said they were working him to death, and I believed it, but that wasn’t what it was. I found out too late—he had fallen headlong into all kinds of drugs, had been kicked off the team, was doing some dealing to cover his own habit. He was not the same guy who rang all my chimes at a baseball game when I was nineteen.” She looked at Tom and just tilted her head. “I was young and dumb, no experience. I didn’t know anything. And I didn’t have anyone to lean on.”

And then what happened?” Tom asked.

Then?” she said.

Well, you have two kids… .”

Oh,” she said. “Well, by the time I realized what was going on I had a one-year-old and was pregnant, living on assistance in a hovel with my useless boyfriend living off me. I was twenty-one, broke, had no family and no money and Chad said we were coming to Humboldt County because he had found work, but Fay came before. It was winter in the mountains and he left me with a newborn baby and a toddler in a house that didn’t even keep the wind out. If it hadn’t been for the kindness of strangers, I don’t think we would have survived.”

What work did he come here to do?” Tom asked.

He said he got a job with a farmer,” she said with a rueful laugh and a slight flush. “I don’t think it was your regular kind of farmer—it was Christmastime! Do farmers hire hands at Christmas when the snow is four feet deep? I think it was a grower and I think Chad either got fired or ran or maybe even robbed the guy before he ran. He abandoned us, but he came back about six months later looking for money and the men in town caught him trying to shake some money out of me. Jack, Noah, Preacher. Mike V., the town cop, was there, the sheriff was called and Chad is now in jail. He’s going to be in jail for a while. Hopefully long enough to forget about us.”

Tom had turned in his driver’s seat. His arm was rested on the top of the steering wheel; he balanced it on his wrist. The other arm was stretched out along the seat, toward her. He just stared at her for a long moment. Finally he said, “You’ve had a tough time.”

She took a breath. “I wish I’d made better choices.”

You were young.”

I had girlfriends who were as young, but protected themselves much better.”

Yeah? I had friends who were better at lots of things than me. But I can grow a real pretty apple.” And then he tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear.

I am very impressed with your apples,” she told him.

All those things you didn’t feel you had the best instincts for before? You’ll be so much better at that now,” he said.

I had a very sweet maternity nurse when Berry was born,” Nora said. “She was a grandmother, she said. And she felt so sorry for me that my mother wanted no part of Berry’s arrival—she wouldn’t have missed her daughter’s delivery for the world. And she said, ‘You will do so much better than that. You will.’ And when she put Berry into my arms she said, ‘Congratulations. This is your new best friend for life.’ So now it seems like more than one person I admire believes in me.”

He just looked into her eyes, silent.

I should pick apples,” she said.

He came out of his trance. “Right,” he said, putting his truck in gear.



* * *



She was so young, Tom thought, to have had to learn so much. And this worldly education in life had not only been achieved with complete lack of support, at least to this point, but with a couple of helpless little kids. And he’d already known she had a messy past, but the story she told only made it sound worse than he imagined.

Throughout the day, while he tended the trees and crop, he thought about that, comparing her to himself. He was almost thirty and had just realized he was ready to settle on the orchard, take on a wife and family, and this decision that was both emotional and practical, had taken a lot of consideration. He hadn’t been even near ready two years ago and five years ago it was a possibility that terrified him. But he’d left the Marine Corps knowing that was the next stage of his life.

And had come back to Virgin River? Where the hell did he think he was going to find a wife here? All the girls he thought were hot in high school were spoken for, as were most of the young women in his age range in the coastal towns. In fact, a lot of them had already been married and divorced with a kid or two. No, that wasn’t what he was looking for at all. The whole kid thing scared him enough without taking on someone else’s kids.

He was so preoccupied that he was relieved when Junior told him that no extra hands were needed over the weekend. And when he gave Nora her ride home, she seemed cheerful when she jumped out of the truck. “Well,” she said, “I’m having a family reunion this weekend. Do you have any big plans?”

Nothing for me,” he said. But he thought maybe he should try to get out of town for a day, maybe a weekend. “Enjoy yourself. Pick you up Monday morning.”



* * *



Tom sat at the kitchen table in the house, cup of coffee in front of him and his laptop open to his schedule. But rather than scrolling or typing or figuring, he tapped his finger idly. A lot of what ran through his head was asking himself how Nora could be different enough so that she’d be more right for him. No kids, for one thing. No doper ex, for another. I mean a few beers, a joint, that was one thing—but hooked up to a guy who went to prison for felony possession? A little too far into the deep and dark underworld. Yeah. And then there was her youth. Twenty-three was young, but twenty-three and been around the block a few times? He didn’t expect a virgin, but for God’s sake.

No one had seemed to notice his thoughtful mood.

You’re awfully quiet,” Maxie said.

He smirked and looked up at his grandmother. Except her, of course. He grumbled something about having things on his mind.

And cranky,” she said. “Trees talk back today?”

I know you think you’re very funny… .”

Maybe this will perk you up,” she said, pulling a slip of paper out of her pocket. She unfolded it and tried to smooth it out. “A girl called you. She’d like you to call her.”

His mouth dropped open. He wasn’t working on anything with any girl anywhere. He stared dumbly at his grandmother.

Well, it didn’t cheer you up but it did get your attention,” she said, handing him the paper.

Aw, this isn’t a girl, this is Darla—the woman who was married to Pritchard. Bob Pritchard, a guy from the Corps who was killed in Afghanistan. She’s the woman I stopped off to visit on my way home.” He ran a hand over his head. “God, I hope she’s all right… .”

She sounded just fine,” Maxie said. “Very happy, very friendly. She told me you’d said very nice things about me.”

But what does she want?” he asked.

Maxie leaned toward him. “She’d like you to call her,” she repeated softly.

He just stared at her.

I could leave the room,” she said, “But I can’t make dinner anywhere else, so why don’t you just go upstairs or out to the office.”

He still sat there for a moment, looking up at a silver-haired grandmother who was much shorter and always seemed much taller. “Right,” he finally said, picking up his laptop and heading for the office in the barn. And on the way he thought, How do I expect to hook up with a woman when I’m so dense?

And yet, he sat at the desk for a while before picking up the phone because the truth was, if Darla was in a place of grief and pain, he really didn’t feel up to it. He still had those moments over Pritchard that clouded his eyes and closed his throat. There had been about six marines trying to get him to the helicopter when he was holding on to life by a breath.

That was a year ago. She might be lots better by now even if he wasn’t. So he dialed.

Tom!” she said excitedly.

How did you know it was me?”

She laughed into the phone. “Caller ID, Tom. I assumed it was you and not your grandmother who was calling me. What a sweet woman, by the way.”

Sweet,” he said.

How have you been?”

Fine. Good. Well, at least reasonable. You?” he asked with trepidation.

Much better,” she said. “Much, much better than when you were here. I think seeing you and hearing about Bob and about the war and all that—I might’ve been a little emotional and maybe gave the impression I was going to be a wreck forever. Bob wouldn’t want that. I’m getting along very well, actually. In fact, I’m going to be in your part of the world—I’m taking a post-grad course at UC Davis, not all that far from your little town. I’ll be there for about eight weeks.”

Post-grad?”

A pharmacy course. It’s full-time and I’ll have studying to do, but I don’t have labs or classes on weekends and I figured while you’re picking apples, I could get a little reading done. That is, if you feel like getting together. I don’t want to impose.”

That’s right,” he said. “You’re into pharmaceuticals.”

She laughed. “In a good way. I have a town house lined up—my company has been sending sales reps through this course for years and has a lease on a town house I hear is nice. I’ll be going back to Denver when the course is over, of course. But, I’ll be there next week and don’t have much going on. Want to come down? There are some nice restaurants around there.”

Aw, we’re picking apples, Darla.”

Well, gee. I knew that—I searched apple harvest in Humboldt County on Google. I could always come to see you. I’m sure there’s a motel nearby… .”

Yeah, he thought, I’m going to get right on the list of smoothest bachelors in the U.S. “Darla—we have more room than we need and Maxie loves having company. Just let us know when you’ll be here. It’s not fancy, but it’s homey. We don’t have a lot of restaurants, however. No nightlife here at all, in fact, but there are some really good views and the apple pie is top-notch.”

She laughed, a very musical sound, a very happy sound. No, he decided, she wasn’t coming to Virgin River to grieve and cry. She was coming to visit a friend. And Darla might be widowed, but widowed from one of the best guys he knew. And there hadn’t been kids yet. And she was older—twenty-eight or so. Smart, pretty, self-sufficient.

I love apple pie,” she said.

Do you like mountain vistas? Ocean views? Redwoods?” he asked, finding himself getting a little excited.

I’ve never seen the redwoods.”

Well, if you can get away from the books for a few hours, I know where they are,” he told her.

I know it’s your busy season… .”

I take a day off now and then. When can you be here?”

I’ll get to California next week. I want to unpack a few things, check my class schedule and then I might be able to head up there on Friday. It’s not too far. A few hours, right?”

Right. And cell phone reception is spotty, so don’t count on it, especially in the taller trees and mountains.”

Tom,” she said, kind of seriously. “I emailed you. About three times. You didn’t answer. I was a little afraid to call… .”

Aw, damn, I’m so bad about that. Darla, hardly anyone emails me and it’s all junk. I’m sorry. I haven’t looked lately.”

But don’t you do business online?”

He laughed. “We’ve been doing business with the same people for years. We drive the truck into town, to the stores, unload the apples and hand over a paper invoice. Maxie is on the computer more than I am.”

Well, that’s a relief. I thought maybe you were avoiding me.”

Not a chance. This is one of the nicest surprises I’ve had in months.”



* * *



Since Nora had been talking to Jed for a couple of weeks, exchanging the occasional email as well, she was comfortable that she was getting to know him and like him. But still, his first visit to her humble home was a little nerve-racking. Her phone rang at noon and he said, “Hi. I know we said afternoon and it’s about one minute after, but I’m in the area. When can I come over? I don’t want to intrude. I really hope to be invited back.”

She smiled to herself; that was kind of cute. And that rising fear reared its ugly head—Please don’t let this all be false. Please, please let it be true.

You can come now,” she said. “The girls are bathed, dressed and fed.”

Nuts,” he said. “I was going to offer to pick up lunch.”

Not necessary, but have you eaten? Because I have a bunch of apples, apple butter, bread, but not the kind of food a man might be looking for.”

I had a late and very large breakfast. I’m completely satisfied.”

Then come. Oh, and Jed… As I mentioned before, Berry is very shy. Step softly.”

Of course. See you shortly.”

And shortly it was—he must have phoned from just out of town. Fifteen minutes later, he was at the door. And he was bearing gifts—he held a bag from a toy store. “Oh, my,” she said. “I shouldn’t be surprised, but oh, my!”

I couldn’t stop myself,” he said with a sheepish smile. “The truth is, I didn’t even try.”

Jed stood in the open doorway holding his big bag. Fay had been standing beside the couch but upon seeing company, she dropped to a sit and then rapidly crawled toward him. Nora swept Fay up before she flew right out the front door. Berry, on the other hand, shrank back behind the couch, just peeking at him.

May I come in?” he asked.

Oh,” she said. “Right.” And she held open the door for him.

He didn’t say anything at all, but moving slowly and smiling gently, he got down on the floor with his bag and started removing toys. They were all new, something Nora had not been able to provide for her kids. They had some perfectly good toys, a whole plastic laundry basket full, but these were so much better. There was a spire that played music when the brightly colored plastic hoops were stacked on it. There was a toy that mimicked the animal noises. A cow says moooo… . Another toy had an arrow that pointed to a number or a letter—and this one spoke in either Spanish or English. And there were several books.

Nora sat at their small table and watched. Fay was struggling to get down off her lap.

Let her come, Nora, it’s okay—these are all safe for a one-year-old. I double-checked.” Then he lifted his eyes to Berry. “These are for you and Fay, Berry,” he said calmly, softly. “You can keep them and play with them.” He lifted a book. “When you feel like it, we’ll read a story.”

It’s okay, Berry,” Nora said. “This is your…” She didn’t finish.

Say grandpa, Nora. Then whatever they want to call me, that’s it. My friend, Susan, who is a grandmother, her grands call me Papa.”

Berry doesn’t talk very much,” Nora said. “She’s so shy.”

Nothing wrong with being cautious,” he said easily. “I’m shy, too.”

You are, aren’t you? I think I remember that about you!”

It was always easier for me to read and write than to interact. Probably how I ended up on the faculty. I can lecture because it’s prepared. I can write a great paper and defend it. I can talk to students about their work, their grades, their schedules. But when they bring me personal issues, I freeze. I’m determined to do better with you. And your children.” He pulled out something else, a mesh bag of large, beautifully colored plastic blocks with letters on them. For now, Berry could stack them; eventually she could line them up and make words. He unfolded a very small play stroller, added a little doll and a doll-size diaper bag.

Fay was immediately drawn to the bright colors and Jed showed her how to make them tinkle and sing and talk.

How did you get up here so fast?” Nora asked. “What time did you leave this morning?”

I came last evening. I stayed over in a motel in Fortuna. I didn’t want to waste a minute.” Then with a slight flush he said, “There’s more, Nora.”

More what?”

Things for the girls.”

Oh, Jed, that wasn’t necessary. I don’t want them to think that every time they see you there will be presents.”

I thought of that. I left everything in bags. You can put them away in a closet and when the girls are asleep, take them out and look at them, give them things when I’m not here so they don’t think, you know…”

Think what?”

That I’m Santa Claus or something. But it was such an experience, like I’ve never had before. When Susan’s grandchildren came, I went shopping with her and she was a crazy fool—throwing things in carts, literally losing her mind! I thought she’d gone mad.” He shrugged. “Then I suddenly had grandchildren and… Lord, I couldn’t stop myself. Don’t think she didn’t get the biggest kick out of it.”

Susan?” she asked.

Haven’t I mentioned her before today? She’s a professor, but I met her fifteen years ago when she was a student. Not my student, but an older woman, finishing her degree once her children were nearly raised. Younger than I.”

And she’s your girlfriend?”

He gave a nod and another slight blush. “I guess you could say. A few years after my divorce, ten years after hers, we began seeing each other. She’s more a close friend than anything. We don’t live together, we’re not engaged. I’d like you to meet her. She’s nice.” Jed pulled a large, glossy book out of his bag and held it up so that Berry could see. “Princess stories,” he said. Susan’s granddaughters love them. They’re princesses every Halloween.”

Berry came slowly forward, chewing on a finger. The brightly colored princesses on the cover got her. He let her take the book out of his hand and she immediately backed toward Nora. Leaning against her mother’s legs, she opened the beautiful book.

And Nora’s eyes clouded with tears. She sniffed.

Jed looked at her. “Are you crying?” he asked.

She shook her head, but she pursed her lips together tightly, not trusting herself to speak.

What’s the matter, honey?” he asked.

That brought the tears, calling her honey. “I don’t know,” she said. “Grateful, maybe. Embarrassed that I didn’t amount to more. That I couldn’t give my kids more. I don’t know what you must think of me.”

He was still on the floor, but he sat up a bit taller. “I couldn’t be more proud of you,” he said. “When I think about…” He just shook his head.

She wiped away tears with her fingers and pulled Berry onto her lap. “When you think about what?” she asked.

He had trouble meeting her eyes. He took a deep breath. “If I had approached you at fifteen or sixteen, told you where I was and that I’d do whatever I could to help if you needed me, if I’d done that, things would have been so different. But I didn’t.”

Why?” she said in a breath.

He shook his head again. “I thought it was for you. But maybe it was for me. Maybe it was easier to avoid the possibility of any conflict—I’m guilty of that. I learned that about myself, that I’m too passive. If I had known she would do what she—that she would throw you out… My God. Please, you must not blame yourself.”

Nora looked at his sad eyes and thought, I’m not sure. He could be lying to me and I wouldn’t know the difference. “We have a long way to go, you and I.”

A long way, yes, you’re right about that. And part of that has to involve coming to terms with how your mother was. Nora, we can spend a lot of time talking about how much pain she caused us. We could work that like a hangnail for a lot of years, you and I. But at some point we have to let some things go. For my part, I broke her heart. I hurt her. She obviously felt abandoned, robbed, cheated. Abused. I spent years feeling the hurt she caused me by keeping you from me, but certainly she must have felt deep hurt, as well.” He shook his head. “Who knows what that can do to a person?”

Well, I’ll tell you what it does,” Nora said. “It makes them angry and unforgiving and unreachable.”

She made mistakes, Nora. So did I. We don’t have to keep reliving them. We can make a decision not to repeat them. To do better.” He gave her a smile. “You’re obviously doing exactly that. Your children love and trust you. And after hardly any time at all I can tell, you’ll always be there for them.”



* * *



Jed’s trunk was full of stuff for his granddaughters—mostly clothes for the girls, which they needed. There was a jumper with a butterfly appliqué on it, the gauzy wings standing out and a few sequins sewn on that melted Berry’s heart and when she touched it she said, “Ohhhhh.” So Nora put it on her. While Berry was a long way from letting her brand-new grandfather cuddle her, she did gently finger that butterfly and look up at him with a slight smile.

He admitted that Susan helped with the shopping—there were even dishes and placemats for the girls. His gifts had not been extravagant. They were all necessities and he’d left the price tags on in case they should be exchanged. They were inexpensive, but so nice. And there was also a big bag of diapers, a case of formula, a box of wipes, a batch of bottles and sippy cups.

Then he took them all to Jack’s Bar for Sunday night dinner and it was the first restaurant experience Berry and Fay had. But there could be no more perfect place because not only was the grill stocked up on high chairs, booster seats and mini-meals for children, but there were a number of families there, including Jack’s. Jack shook Jed’s hand excitedly. “Welcome,” he boomed. “I didn’t know Nora had family nearby—that’s great. Nora is one of our favorites around here, just so you know. She’s helped out at the clinic, at the new school—a real trouper. And this town is made of troupers.”

A short time later Mel Sheridan came in with her kids and beamed when she saw Nora with her dad. Before even sitting down, she introduced herself and her children. “How fantastic you could visit! Nora’s become a good friend of mine. She reaches out to everyone, helping whenever she can—a godsend.”

Nora had the strangest feeling of being normal, even admired. She hadn’t felt like that very often in her life.

And you thought I wouldn’t be proud of you?” Jed whispered.

What she learned after six hours with Jed was that he was neither the perfect fantasy father she had hoped nor the beast her mother had tried to prepare her for. Reverend Kincaid would no doubt be hearing a lot about this later. Jed Crane was an intellectual, a success in his field, but he was clearly not a social dynamo. Those parenting and relationship skills he now had were probably developed during the time he spent with his girlfriend, Susan. When Nora was a baby and preschooler he was a gentle and attentive parent without an angry bone in his body, but he didn’t have the skills to deal with someone like Therese. In fact, Therese might have seen in him a man she could manage. If so, that would explain her many years of anger that he would leave her.

He couldn’t protect Nora then. It was doubtful he could protect her now.

But he had good qualities. He was sincere, for one thing. And unless he was a truly gifted psychopath, he wasn’t very deep emotionally. Nor was he malicious. And the way he acted toward Nora and the little girls was sweet and precious.

He described his days; he could read for hours. He went to Germany or England or Poland for three months out of every year—he was a World War II scholar and had published two volumes and numerous papers on the war and the reconstruction after the war. He loved his field of study as much now as he had when he began his dissertation and had no desire to ever retire, however, his schedule was not strenuous, thanks to teaching assistants.

When they were saying goodbye after a successful first family visit he said, “I’d be willing to help you with the girls if you need a babysitter on weekends when you work.”

With all due respect, I’ll need to know you better before that happens,” she returned.

Completely understandable. I’d like to come back for another afternoon, as soon as you’ll allow it. I’d also like to bring Susan sometime.”

Because she gives you credibility?” Nora asked.

Well, no. She does, though. I’d like to introduce you. I’m not that great at presentation—something you no doubt have noticed. But Susan? She’s a natural. She’s so good around people that it makes you wonder what she sees in me. When you say it’s okay, I’ll bring her along—she wants to meet you.”

You can bring her whenever you like,” Nora said. “But we’re sticking to just afternoons. Weekend afternoons.”

I can’t wait to tell her,” he said. And then when he smiled, it was as if he’d transformed. All his shyness seemed gone, replaced with confidence and happiness. “Thank you for this,” he said. “It was one of the best days of my life.”