Shame on You

This momentary truce I’ve declared in my head thirty seconds ago is already starting to mess with me. Standing here this close to him, I’m forgetting why I was even mad at him in the first place. Griffin moved to town after Alex and I had been dating for a few months, and suddenly I started to have doubts about my feelings for Alex. For a little while, it was a serious struggle for me to be around Griffin and not fantasize about being with him. To make matters worse, Griffin and Alex quickly became good friends and the three of us spent practically every waking moment together. He was sweet and thoughtful, even as a teenager, and he proved time and time again what a loyal friend he was to both of us.

A week before prom, Alex and I got into a typical teenage fight over something stupid and decided to take a break. Griffin, whom I’m assuming felt sorry for me, saved the day and told me he would be my date instead. I thought it was fate finally getting her shit together and deciding to join my side. Unfortunately, Griffin’s ex-girlfriend at the time found out he asked me and she suddenly realized how much she loved him and begged him back. Griffin ditched me. Alex and I made up and the rest is history.

Or at least I thought. These past few days have been the first time I’ve been alone with Griffin since I dumped even the idea of Alex and me. It’s the first time I’ve been single around him since high school and I’m suddenly reminded of all the reasons why I had such a huge crush on him back then. It’s all I can do not to imagine him naked.

“So, are you ready to talk to me yet?” he asks, finally breaking the silence.

I take a step back from him and clear all thoughts of him in the buff from my head. It’s making me twitchy.

“That depends. Are you going to try and feed me the same line of bullshit you did six months ago?” I ask as I cross my arms in front of me and stare him down.

He sighs deeply and runs his hand through his hair, making it stick up in all directions. He always does that when he’s frustrated or angry. I wonder which it is right now. It’s probably both.

“It wasn’t bullshit, Kennedy. You only heard part of that conversation. I swear to you, I had no idea he was having an actual relationship with that woman.”

I scoff at him and roll my eyes.

“Let’s be honest here. She’s not a woman; she’s a child. A home-wrecking, slutty child and you condoned his behavior and told him to keep it from me,” I tell him, trying to keep my voice down so the girls won’t hear me.

“I should have never said that. At the time, I thought it was just a one-time thing. I thought he had just fucked up and it was never going to happen again. I knew it would kill you if you found out. And I didn’t know you already had,” he says.

He could be telling the truth. A part of me thinks it’s kind of nice, albeit misguided, that he wanted to do what he could to save me from being hurt. But a bigger part of me has a hard time believing anything he says. The name of our business isn’t Fool Me Once just for shits and giggles. I’ve lost my faith in mankind. Well, I’ve lost my faith in man, kind or not. Period.

“I haven’t spoken to him at all since I found out the truth. I told him he was a lying sack of shit and a pathetic excuse for a man for doing that to you and the girls. He’s tried calling me a bunch of times since then and I’ve ignored him. You know that you, Meadow, and Livia have always been my top priority.”

At least that part isn’t a lie; he’s always made sure the girls and I are taken care of. Even with my giving him the cold shoulder and refusing to have anything to do with him the last six months, he’s still called to talk to the girls and sent them gifts. And I know for a fact he’s the one who hired a landscaper to mow my lawn every week, even though I know he won’t admit it.

I always used to ask him why he never settled down and got married since I was sure he’d make an amazing husband and father. He would just shake his head and laugh and tell me that he’d get married when his dream girl became available. Then Alex would always pipe in about Griffin’s celebrity crush—Megan Fox—and make a joke about her being too good for him.

“Well, the pathetic excuse for a man you speak of has gotten worse. He hasn’t seen his daughters in two months. He was supposed to pick them up for dinner tonight and cancelled at the last minute. I’m sure Chloe with an e had episodes of Sesame Street she needed to watch or something.” I try to make light of the situation. I can’t take the heavy stuff right now. I can’t handle thinking about how much I’ve missed having Griffin in my life.

“Chloe with an e? Am I missing something? Is there some other way you spell Chloe?” he asks with a laugh.

“He actually brought her to Uncle Wally and Aunt Janet’s anniversary party a few months ago. He assumed that since he got an invitation before he cheated on me, he’d still be welcome. They stayed long enough for her to introduce herself. ‘Like, hi everyone! I’m Chloe, with an e!’” I say in a singsong, squeaky voice. “Bobby and Ted dragged Alex outside and told him they would use him for target practice if he ever showed his face at one of our family get-togethers again with that whore.”

Even though I wanted to puke when they walked into the restaurant together hand in hand, the night was made all better by watching Alex sob like a baby out in the parking lot. Real tears and everything. It was beautiful. If only he would have wet himself, I could have died a happy woman. Maybe next time.