Shame on Me

Her shouts are cut off as the officers lead her into the interview room and shut the door behind them.

Matt looks back down at me and when he sees the worry on my face, he smiles. “You stalked me, put your friendships on the line to catch Melanie, and saved your sorry excuse for an ex-husband. It’s been a crazy month, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Melanie doesn’t, nor will she ever, hold a candle to you. I’m sorry for ever thinking I couldn’t trust you, Paige McCarty. There’s no one else in this world I could ever rely on more.”

“No, I don’t need assistance with a subpoena delivery. I’m pretty sure I can handle it,” Lorelei tells Dallas sarcastically on the other side of the room.

“Are you sure about that, lawyer? We wouldn’t want you to accidentally cut the poor guy’s balls off with that sharp attitude of yours,” Dallas replies.

Lorelei huffs. “Don’t you have anything better to do, like club a woman over the head and take her back to your cave?”

I roll my eyes at their typical exchange and block out their voices, content to just concentrate on the man holding me in his arms.

Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs in life. Sometimes you have to marry a frog and then learn how to be strong again after that frog turns into an ass. But eventually, Prince Charming will finally show his face and make all those damn frogs before him worth it.





EPILOGUE




Two weeks later . . .

Can we get everyone a refill? I’d like to do a toast,” Kennedy announces.

Griffin walks around Fool Me Once Investigations and adds champagne to everyone’s glasses.

I stare around the room at my friends and family. Kennedy is curled up against Griffin’s side, Lorelei is shooting daggers at Dallas as he lounges against the wall, Ted is listening to my mother scold him about police response time, and Mr. Russo is standing next to Matt and me, complaining about the state of a world where nice, older women are forced to take matters into their own hands to catch a hardened criminal.

Vinnie DeMarco survived the bullet my mother lodged in his thigh and is now in jail, awaiting trial for all of his crimes. I wasn’t able to get him on tape admitting his wrongdoings, but with eyewitness testimonies from Melanie and me, his fate was sealed. It also helped that he was so afraid of my mother shooting him again that he confessed to all of his sins in the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Giovanni was so traumatized after watching his boss take a bullet from an old lady, and then getting beat up by said old lady and her friends, that he took a plea bargain and gave Vinnie up. There is no way Vinnie DeMarco will be able to escape the many years of prison time that are in his future now.

My mother and her friends were hailed as heroes at Saint Michael’s for their detective work in finding out who stole the Communion hosts. It turns out I was right about Father Bob looking guilty. He had a serious gambling addiction, and when he couldn’t pay Vinnie the money he owed him, Vinnie sent Giovanni to the church to collect his debts in the form of enough Communion for every church service for the next five years, and every single gold chalice and church heirloom he could stuff in his bag. The Communion wasn’t worth a dime to him, but it was Vinnie’s way of sticking it to Father Bob. Father Bob became so paranoid that the Catholic Church would find out what he’d been doing, strip him of his clergy status, and take away his church that he began stealing money from women’s purses during Altar and Rosary meetings. My mother, Fran, and Eunice caught him red-handed and made him ’fess up.

My mother apologized to Father John at Holy Cross for wrongly accusing him, and they have since asked him to join their congregation. My mother, Eunice, and Fran have also started up a community watch program called The Golden Girls: We’re Armed and Dangerous. So far they have twenty-five members. I hope to God they don’t all buy guns, or the police force will have to look for a new line of work.

After Melanie was questioned, she was sent off with a warning to stay as far away from the Mob as possible and not do anything stupid, or else a prison tat on her ass would be the least of her worries. The next day, she immediately signed the divorce papers for Matt and told him she didn’t want his father’s company after all. Vinnie had given her enough money in the year and a half they dated that she was able to save quite a nice chunk of change. She wouldn’t need a job for quite a while. Little does she know, though, that that money has all been earmarked as stolen, and it will be disappearing from her bank account before she can make it to the mall.

Andy is still Andy. Nearly dying because of his gambling debt didn’t change him at all. Last I heard, he decided to move to Vegas and become a professional poker player. My guess is that he’ll be slinking back home with his tail between his legs very soon. Or the Vegas Mob will get hold of him and we’ll never hear from him again. One can only hope.