Shame on Me

I smack her leg to make her shut up as she stares under her desk at me with a confused expression on her face.


“Excuse me, I’d like to talk to someone about hiring a private investigator.”

I watch from under the desk as Lorelei’s head whips up, and I wince as her eyes widen in shock.

“You’re Matt Russo,” Lorelei whispers.

I smack her leg again and this time, she retaliates by kicking me in the shin. I smack my hand over my mouth to keep the yelp of pain from escaping.

“Um, yeah. How do you know my name?” Matt asks from the other side of the desk.

Oh, my God. This is not happening right now! Shit, shit, shit!

“I’m . . . we just . . . I know . . .” Lorelei flounders and quickly glances under her desk at me. I shrug my shoulders at her in an “I don’t know what the fuck is happening right now” gesture. She scoots her chair closer to the desk and I pull my knees up to my chest, making myself as small as possible while holding my breath at the same time.

“I, uh . . . saw a write-up about you in Graphic Design USA a while back. Great article,” Lorelei states.

This is why she’s a big-time attorney and I’m an ex-model, cowering under a desk. She can think on her feet in a crisis.

“Wow! I didn’t think anyone even read that magazine,” Matt says with a good-natured laugh.

“Oh, yes. I like to keep up-to-date on all the current events in . . . design . . . and graphics. And stuff.”

Oh, my God.

“So what can I help you with, Mr. Russo?” Lorelei asks while I listen closely.

“This is so weird. I can’t believe I’m even here asking you this, but I need to hire you guys to investigate someone. I’ve never done anything like this,” he explains.

“It was so nice of you to consider Fool Me Once for your investigating needs,” Lorelei says quickly. “We’re really busy right now, but if you would just leave me your name and number, I’ll have someone contact you as soon as possible to let you know if we’ll be able to squeeze you into our schedule.”

I hear Lorelei slide a piece of paper across the desk and the sounds of Matt scribbling his information and then setting the pen down. “Thanks, I really appreciate it. This is kind of an emergency situation, so I’d like to talk to someone as soon as possible.”

Lorelei thanks him again and a few seconds later I hear the ding of the bell as he exits the office. I let out the breath I’ve been holding and scramble out from under the desk. Lorelei bends over and grabs my arm, hauling me up to my feet.

“What the hell is going on? I thought you said you got the pictures you needed. Why is the man you’ve been following coming in here to hire us?” Lorelei grills me.

“Are those Jimmy Choos? Are they from the spring collection?” I ask, pointing down to her shoes to try to distract her.

“Oh, these?” she asks, looking down at her feet, taking the bait. “Yes, I just got them yesterday at—PAIGE! Stop it! We can’t take him on as a client when we’re currently in the middle of trying to catch him cheating. This is the biggest conflict of interest ever! I don’t even know why I took down his name and number. I completely panicked. Tell me what’s going on, right now!”

Lorelei stomps her foot and I know she means business. I’ve never seen her lose her temper before. She’s as cool and calm as they come, but right now, she looks like she’s ready to throttle me.

“So, um, when I trailed him the other night, he recognized me from O’Casey’s. We got to talking and, well . . .”

I trail off, trying to come up with a way to make this NOT sound as bad as it is. I’ve got nothing. The only thing I can do is just blurt it out and hope she doesn’t punch me. “I don’t think he’s cheating on his wife. She’s cheating on him and trying to take his family’s company because she’s a gold-digging whore and I’ve decided I’m switching teams and I’m going to help him catch her because he seems like a really nice guy and I don’t want to see him get hurt.”

There. It’s done. I take a deep breath after my word vomit and wait for the explosion.

Lorelei is quiet. Too quiet. She just stands here staring at me with her mouth open.

“Say something,” I beg her.

Maybe Lorelei will feel my pain. She’ll see that this is a matter of importance. She’s got a heart buried somewhere in there under all that resentment of her ex-husband.

I look at her imploringly, seeing her face lose its shocked expression.

I knew it! I knew she’d understand.

After a few seconds, Lorelei whispers. “Kennedy is going to kill you.”

Well, so much for that idea.





CHAPTER 6