Shadow in Serenity

twelve


Carny wandered back into the dance. Jason was still playing video games. High Five was just about to crank up again. Her in-laws were clustered in a circle of friends, and she strolled toward them.

But someone grabbed her arm from behind, and she turned. Joey stood over her, his eyes looking wounded, and she gave an inward groan. “Hey, Joey.”

“Were you out there with him?” He gestured toward the door, where Logan stood now.

Two women had already spotted him, Carny noticed, and were giggling and preening around him. His grin told her he ate it up. Nothing lonely about that man, she thought. “I was out there and he was out there.”

“I thought you hated him.”

“I don’t much approve of him, but that doesn’t mean I can’t breathe the same fresh air.”

“I heard he was taking private lessons from you,” Joey said. “Is he coming on to you?”

She chuckled then and looked back at Logan as the band struck up a new tune. He had swept one of the women into his arms and was tangoing his way to the dance floor with her. “Look at him, Joey. He comes on to everybody. It’s part of the con. Blows into town, dazzles everybody he meets, makes the women fall in love with him, takes all their money, then cuts out. You haven’t given him any, have you?”

“No, I don’t think I like him.”

“Well, good,” she said, her eyes lighting up. “I’m proud of you. Come on, let’s dance.”

He was clearly pleased. He took her hand and pulled her to the dance floor. As always, she enjoyed dancing with him. He felt good, like a big teddy bear, and he had a good sense of rhythm. She just wished he was more her type.

Her gaze strayed to Logan, and she watched as he dipped his partner dramatically, making her squeal, then swept her up and spun her around. The dancers around them were all watching, impressed. She looked away.

“I really wanted to bring you to the dance tonight, Carny,” Joey said. “Why wouldn’t you come with me?”

She sighed. “I told you. You’re getting too serious. You need to cool it a little.”

“I don’t want to cool it,” Joey said. “I want to know when you’re ready to marry me.”

She tried to keep her voice soft. She didn’t want to hurt him, but his proprietary attitude and his constant marriage proposals only pushed her further away. “I’m not marrying anybody. I’ve been there. I’ve done that.”

“With the wrong guy.”

“They’re all the wrong guy once they get a ring on your finger.”

He gazed down at her, and she had to look back up at him. He had sweet, sincere eyes, but they failed to move her. “Carny, what have I done wrong?”

“It’s not you, Joey. It’s me. I’m not your type. You deserve someone who is.”

“You are my type, Carny. I love you.”

She smiled and whispered, “I love you too. You’re one of my best friends. But I’m not in love with you, or anybody else. Look at me, Joey. I ride a motorcycle. I fly planes for a living. I grew up in a carnival. You’re sweet and safe, and I’m … well … something of a wild child. I could never make you happy.”

“No, I don’t think that’s it,” he said. “Maybe it’s more like I could never make you happy.”

She knew that was true, but she would never have said it. Joey was the nice, quiet, settle-down type, and he would make someone a terrific husband. But married to him, she would be bored to death. She hated that about herself.

“Who are you attracted to, Carny? Seriously. Is there anybody in this town you’re really attracted to?”

She looked at the couples dancing around them and wished they could have this conversation in private. “Why are you doing this?”

“I can take it,” he whispered, though she knew better. “I’ve watched you shoot men down one at a time, politely and very sweetly, but I’ve never seen one that had a chance with you since Abe died. Who would, Carny? Him?”

She followed his gaze and saw that he referred to Logan, and suddenly she stopped dancing. “You know how I feel about him.”

“I know how you’re telling yourself to feel. But maybe he’s just the adventurous type you need.”

She broke free of him and stepped back. “You’re making me mad now, Joey. I know how I feel, and I don’t need any amateur analysis. You’re a cop, not a psychiatrist.”

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, reaching for her again. “I didn’t mean it. You’ve just got me all bumfuzzled.”

“I never meant to bumfuzzle you.”

“I know you didn’t, Carny. I think you just can’t help yourself.”

As the song ended, her gaze strayed to Logan again. He was holding the woman too close, looking too deeply into her eyes. Carny felt a sudden surge of rage and thought of jerking the girl away and telling her to run while she still had a clear head. He was poison. He was trouble. He was dangerous.

His eyes met hers across the girl’s head, and his irreverent grin blossomed. He was taunting her, daring her to step in, teasing her into reacting.

She shook her head, then excused herself from Joey and went to find her son.


The moment Carny left the dance, Logan lost interest in being there. And that disturbed him.

He slipped out of the party, leaving behind the people who accepted him so readily and made him feel like their friend, when he didn’t dare call any of them friend. They were marks, and that was all. He should never forget that. And the women were marks too, the kind who threw themselves at him because they thought he was their dream bachelor, then kicked themselves when they were left with no money and nothing to show for it.

But as he strolled down the lonely street, looking in the windows of stores closed for the night, he realized that the irony of the whole thing was that, just maybe, he was the biggest mark of all. Carny’s mark.

He could feel Montague rolling over in his grave.