Razing Kayne

THIRTY-TWO



Friday morning found Jess dragging herself out of bed. Kayne had long since left for work, and she needed to get the children dressed, fed, and off to school.

Throughout the morning she thought of Kayne, of the things he'd said to her, of the way he'd made love to her in the middle of the night. He hadn't said the words, hadn't told her he'd decided to stay, and yet her traitorous heart couldn't help but wonder and hope.

If he did stay, how would she feel spending a lifetime with a man who didn't love her? She knew he cared for her. He showed her that every day in so many little ways. But would it be enough to know he simply honored her and their marriage? Or would it slowly eat at her soul to know she wasn't special enough to make him forsake his vow to never fall in love? To always wonder if he dreamed of a different life, but was simply far too honorable to ever admit he'd made a mistake in staying?





Kayne's honor was one of the things she loved most about him, but it was also his downfall. His word meant everything to him, and once he made a commitment, he'd honor it or die trying. That honor also meant he'd never give her meaningless words, like Jarred had. How many times had he said he loved her and walked out the door and into the arms of another woman?

Shouldn't it be enough to have a man who treated her well, but was never able to say the words? Yes, damn it, it should. It should be enough. She knew people who searched a lifetime to have the type of relationship she and Kayne had. They were friends who worked together side by side for the sake of their children, and they had unbelievable chemistry. So why wasn't it enough? Why couldn't she be happy with the here and now and pray that he never went away?

Regrettably she knew the answer. For once in her life she wanted to be loved because a man chose to, not because he had to.

Jess pushed the depressing thoughts out of her mind. The truth was, Kayne had never been given a choice. She’d been part of the package deal of Gracie.

“Come on, kiddos,” Jess said to Isabelle and Gracie. “Mama is running late, and Grandma Polly is waiting for you.”

Jess was herding Isabelle and Gracie into the garage when the front doorbell rang. She debated whether to answer, but the little girls made the decision when they took off running, their little arms and legs pumping in a race to be the first one to the door.

Jess managed to disengage the alarm a second before Isabelle opened the door for the delivery driver. Her heart gave a hard thud and slowly rolled when she saw the beautiful bouquet of lilies, orchids, and roses. Jess quickly signed for the flowers, but was told, when she tried to tip him that it had already been taken care of. Jess smelled the fragrant blooms as she walked toward the kitchen. She hadn't even read the card, and she was already close to tears over the flowers. They were simply the most beautiful bouquet she'd ever seen.

She pulled the card out of the envelope and read it.

Please have dinner with me tonight.

Reservations for 7 pm. Be ready by 6 pm.

Sitter already arranged. ~ Kayne

P.S. Wear something sexy!

Oh my God! She was going on a date with Kayne. She felt like she was back in high school and had been invited to prom by the captain of the football team. And how stupid was that? He was her husband, for crying out loud.

By six, the butterflies in Jess's stomach were dancing a tango. She couldn't understand why she was so nervous about going out on a date with Kayne. Good God, he'd seen her naked, had his tongue on every square inch of her body, so it defied logic that him seeing her fully clothed would illicit this type of response.

When she'd dropped the little girls off at Polly's this morning, she learned that Polly and Del were picking the other kids up after school and watching them for the night. Polly couldn't give her a clue as to where Kayne was taking her. All he'd told Polly was “someplace nice,” like that was a lot of help.

Kayne walked up behind her. “You look absolutely stunning, Mrs. Dobrescu.”

Jess met his heated gaze in the dressing mirror. She couldn't help the blush that stained her cheeks at his blatant appraisal. She was finally wearing the red silk dress. Its tags had finally come off tonight.

She'd taken her time this afternoon, scrubbing and exfoliating every surface on her body before waxing it to a silky smoothness. She’d then covered every square inch of herself with almond-scented body butter. After her hair had been taken out of hot rollers and fat curls piled high on her head, Jess had applied just a hint of makeup before rolling on sheer, garterless, silk stockings.

The dress was full length silk, with a hint of spandex that allowed it to cling and mold to her everywhere, and had a slit that barely stopped before it reached her hip. A rhinestone embellished V-neck plunged deep to an empire waistline, showing more than a little cleavage. Two narrow straps snaked over her shoulders and crossed in back, leaving her bare to the rhinestone inset that rested over the upper swell of her butt.

Speaking of bare, Jess had tried the dress on with panties only to discover even a thong was highly visible, so now she was absolutely naked underneath. A shiver ran through her, and her nipples tightened. She glanced up to see if Kayne had noticed. His hot gaze said it all. If they didn't leave now, they'd never make it out of the house.

Jess stepped into her red, stiletto heels with their tiny straps and rhinestone accents that perfectly matched the dress and watched Kayne's eyes all but cross. She laid a hand against his chest. “You look very handsome yourself, Mr. Dobrescu.”

She was proud her voice didn't quiver. Handsome was such a benign word for how he looked. He wore an expensive charcoal-gray, three-piece suit that appeared to have been tailor made for him. A red tie broke up the crisp white of his dress shirt.

***

Kayne shot his cuffs before offering Jess his arm. “Shall we?”

He couldn't remember the last time he'd been on a date. It had to have been back in college, but obviously it hadn't been too memorable, because right now, he couldn't even pull up a face, much less a name from the recesses of his memory. Everything in him was focused on the stunning woman at his side.

He'd known she was beautiful, but this... This was turning heads, stopping traffic, someone grab a defibrillator hot. And that dress...Good God, was it even legal for her to step out of the house in that? She was every fantasy he'd ever had, and he was so goddamned hard he could cut glass. From the look of her puckered little nipples, she was turned on too. Shit, they had to get out of here. Now.

When they reached the garage, Jess’s steps faltered.

He motioned to the car. “You don't mind, do you?” He'd uncovered the Vanquish, and it now sat ready for their date.

She smiled up at him. “No, not at all. I've only ever ridden in it once. I had been mentally calculating how to get in and out of a truck in this dress.”

He'd like to help her out of that dress. He glanced at his watch. They didn't have time for it without missing their reservations. Damn.

Kayne helped her into the car while he still had some semblance of sanity left. Motherofgod, he was never going to make it through the evening!

Jess fiddled with the air vents. “Did I thank you for the flowers?”

He shot her a grin as he tried to get comfortable. Sports cars were not designed for someone who was six-four, even if they cost six digits. “Only about a dozen times, but you're welcome.”

Jess bit her bottom lip, looked away. “Sorry.”

She was nervous, Kayne realized. That made two of them.

“Don't be sorry, I like you thanking me.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

***

The maître d’ led them to a quiet, out of the way, table that overlooked the creek Their waiter served a phenomenal meal. An appetizer of baked clams, lump crab, and escargot-stuffed mushrooms was followed by fresh Maine lobster paired with seasoned vegetables and a lemon-pecan rice.

They relaxed as they ate and talked. Kayne recalled his time in college, his passion for drawing, and Ben and Luann's other children. Jess confessed that Luann had been calling her a couple times a week just to say hello and let her know she was there if Jess needed anything. Kayne knew from Ben that the conversations were more than that, that Luann genuinely liked Jess and enjoyed the time they spent talking. It appeared Jess enjoyed the conversations as much, and it meant everything to Kayne that his mom thought so highly of her.

When the violinist’s version of Lonestar’s “Amazed” began, Kayne stood and held out his hand. “Dance with me.”

Accepting her hand, he led her to the small dance floor, took her in his arms, and swayed to the soft music. Even with heels she barely reached his shoulder, but she fit him in every way. He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the rightness of her in his arms. Kayne swallowed hard, fighting back emotions of doubt. This was Jess. She wasn't anything like his biological mother Nina or Oksana. It was okay to love her, because even if she never loved him in return, a life spent with her would still be better than anything he'd ever had. But Christ, he wanted her love.

Kayne leaned in and began softly singing in her ear. The artist spoke of the scent of his lover’s skin, the taste of her kisses, the way she whispered her secrets. It was as if the song had been written about Jess.

Jess glanced up quickly then away, but not before he saw the moisture in her eyes. When he reached the line describing how she touched his heart, Kayne’s voice faltered. He’d asked them to play this song specifically. He’d planned on singing the words to her here, with her in his arms, but there was a lump in his throat that wouldn’t let him get the words out. Then the song ended, and Kayne guided her off the dance floor. All eyes were on her; the men’s filled with lust, the women’s with envy. She was all elegance and grace. Beauty personified, and not just on the surface. Jess's beauty radiated out from her soul.

Once the waiter cleared away their dessert dishes, Kayne took Jess’s hand. “I want to talk about us.” He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “When we stood in court that day and I agreed to marry you, I had no idea what I was in for...”

Jess closed her eyes and faced away.

He studied her for a moment, seeing resignation and perhaps a little fear. “Baby, trust me. Just trust me, this is not what you think.”

***

Jess looked pleadingly into his eyes, begging him to tell her all was okay. That he hadn't brought her here to say goodbye. Was she not enough for him either? Jess couldn't hold his gaze and had to look away again, desperately fighting a losing battle with tears.

Kayne's other hand appeared on the table in front of her, and his palm slowly opened to reveal a black velvet box that he laid on the table between them. Jess's gaze snapped to his, searching for an answer. She didn't understand. They were already married. But why would he give her a ring if he was leaving?

Kayne took her hands in both of his, his gentle smile full of understanding but not completely hiding the hurt. “When Judge Johnson gave us the option of getting married, I thought he was crazy. I feared I'd be stuck in another marriage with no way out. But I couldn’t bear the thought of losing Grace...or hurting you.”

He caressed the backs of her hands with his thumbs. “I loved Oksana because she was my wife and the mother of my children, but I wasn't in love with her. She wasn't my true love, and I was miserable, Jess. I have never said that before; I don't think I even truly realized it until I had something to compare it to. This time with you has made me realize so many things.”

He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “There’s a lot in this life I’m uncertain about, but the one thing that is perfectly clear to me is that I don't want this—us—to end. If someone asked me to sit down and make a list of everything I wanted in a wife, I could sum it up with one word: you. You surpass any list I could create.”

He laughed nervously, studying her as tear after fat tear fell from her lashes. “I'm hoping those are happy tears.” He reached out to brush them away with his thumbs, only for them to be quickly replaced by others. Kayne rounded the table and dropped to his knee in front of her. “Please don't cry, baby, I'm trying to tell you I love you. I'm in love with you.”

Jess was speechless. Kayne was in love with her?! It seemed impossible. God, she'd longed to hear those words from him, but now that he'd said them, she was afraid to move, afraid to breathe, afraid she'd shatter the moment and find it had been nothing but a dream.

“It's okay, Jess.” He looked away, swallowing hard. Clearing his throat he continued. “You don't have to love me back—”

Jess slapped a hand over his mouth. Oh God, what had she done? She'd just sat there staring at him and he'd thought… “You think I don't love you? I've been in love with you almost since the day we met. I tried so hard to hide it, because I thought you didn't love me, but I thought you knew anyway.” Jess ran a shaky hand through his thick black hair, studying his face through her tears. “I love you.” She whispered the words and punctuated them with a sweet lingering kiss.

Jess jumped at the sound of applause. She'd forgotten where they were. Kayne laughed, wiped at his own damp eyes. Taking her hand once again, he leaned in close and said, “I want forever with you.” He sat the box in her palm. “Please say yes.”