Razing Kayne

TWENTY-FIVE



The Coyotes won, 5-2, sending them to the semi-finals. Kayne and Jessica spent the afternoon with her friends and his family, and the lines between the two easily blurred to nonexistent. It sure as hell was hard to remember why there had even been a battle in the first place. Apparently fear and love made people go batshit-crazy.

Later that night, with the kids finally tucked into bed and Ben and Luann settled in, Kayne set out to find his wife. “Baby, you in here?” he called as he entered the small sitting room off the master bedroom.

“In bed.”

His heart gave a hard thump, rolled, and began a heavy beat that rapidly pumped blood south at the sound of her sultry voice. When he turned the corner to see the bed, his heart all but stopped.

Spread out for his viewing pleasure on a set of pewter silk sheets laid his wife. She wore nothing but a large red bow and a pair of f*ck-me, red stiletto heels. The silk ribbon wrapped around her breasts like a strapless bra, knotting in the valley between her very aroused nipples, before cascading down her center to barely cover her sweet little sex.

Kayne gasped in a breath, not realizing he'd been holding it. Christ, she was so beautiful. Long golden hair, with its dozen shades of blond and brown and copper, fanned across her pillow as she shifted to prop herself up on one elbow. The movement dislodged the bow's tail from between her thighs revealing...Mother of God.

“You waxed?” All that remained was a strip of trimmed, light-brown curls, her pretty pink lips bare and already glistening.

Jess nodded, a sweet blush covering her chest and face. “You like?” she asked, biting that plump bottom lip of hers. Only one thought came to mind:

Happy Birthday to me!

***

On Monday morning, Kayne was sitting at the kitchen counter, his head resting on his crossed arms while he waited for the coffee to finish brewing when his father walked in. “Hey, son, you're up early.”

Up early? It felt like he'd never gone to sleep. Holy Christ, Jess had gone down on him. She'd knelt there on the bed in that bow and those heels and told him she'd never done so before, but that she wanted to. So he'd stripped for her, which had made her laugh, thankfully with him instead of at him. She'd plumped up a few pillows, and he'd gotten comfortable against the headboard, and then she'd had her way with every damn inch of him.

He could still feel the tentative touch of her lips as they slid over the head of his cock, the way her tongue had wrapped around it, the enthusiastic way she'd sucked him right to the edge. He’d tried to stop her, tried to warn her he was about to lose his ever-lovin’ mind. But she’d been unmovable and relentless, and he’d exploded with one of the most intense orgasms of his life. He'd reached for her again and again through the night, and he was already half-hard just thinking about it. Kayne shook the thought out of his sleep-fogged mind.

“You seem happy,” Ben observed.

Kayne laughed at his father's subtle way of saying he looked like he'd been well laid. “She's good for me, Pop. She's such a good mother. She's patient and gentle. I've never seen her lose her temper with the kids, not even in the grocery store.”

“And she's sexy as hell.” Ben laughed

Kayne straightened in his chair. “Hey, now, that's my wife you’re talking about.”

Ben shook his head and laughed harder. “Bet you haven't gotten a good night’s sleep since you met her.”

“Isn't that the truth?” He accepted the cup of coffee Ben handed him. “She's had me tangled since the night I stopped her for speeding. Talk about the hand of fate.”

Ben took a sip of his own coffee. “It's good to see you in love, son.”

Kayne stilled, his cup halfway to his lips. “Excuse me?”

“It's written all over your face, plain as day. It's obvious she feels the same about you.”

Kayne sat the mug back down. “Is it?” he asked doubtfully.

“Son, that girl’s got it just as bad for you.”

“She's still in love with her dead husband,” Kayne replied looking away.

“Loving someone and being in love are two different things. You of all people should know that. Don't assume you know how she feels until you ask her. You might be surprised.” Ben began rummaging through the refrigerator and pulling out items to make breakfast.

“I know that, Pop. Trust me I know that,” he said, then added, “Hey, I'm supposed to fix breakfast this morning.” Sundays and Mondays were Kayne's self-appointed day to fix breakfast, and then on Mondays, he kept Gracie and Isabelle while Jess did her volunteer work.

Ben glanced over his shoulder. “I'm doing it this morning. Like old times.”

Kayne could remember many a Sunday morning, rising at the crack of dawn and sneaking into the tiny kitchen to sit and talk to Ben. It was their special time, and with such a full house, time had been precious. But the rest of the family always left Ben and Kayne to themselves in those early hours. Two decades later, Kayne still felt like that little kid, tough on the outside, terrified on the inside, desperately wanting the love the Dobrescus had to offer, but afraid to reach out for it. Only now, he feared the love of a woman who was just within his grasp, if he could only figure out how to let go of the past long enough to reach for the future.

Ben began laying strips of bacon out on a baking sheet. “Oksana was never your true love. Don't get me wrong, you were the best of husbands to her, and I know you loved her, but she wasn't a wife so much as another child you were raising. She didn’t participate in the relationship or the household. She wasn't your equal. It says something about you that you never left her.”

Kayne stared into his coffee for a long moment before meeting his father’s gaze. “I thought about it, Pop. Do you know how many times I thought about packing up the kids and leaving, or packing her up and telling her to leave? But then I'd think of you and Luann and everything you'd taught me, and I realized my vows were just that. A promise. I couldn't leave her, couldn't give up on her, and she betrayed me in the worst possible way.”

Ben put the pan of bacon in the oven before turning back to him. “Are you so sure about that? With finding Grace alive, are you sure she drowned Niki and Natalia?”

No, he wasn’t. “I don't know what to think anymore. I don't understand how Tasha survived, or who the people were that had her. God, Pop, I look at this life, not the material things.” He said looking around the house. “But Jess, the kids. All of them, not just Gracie...Tasha—”

Ben paused in his process of cracking eggs into a bowl. “No, son. Grace is her name. You were right to let her keep that part of herself. Jess told Luann how much it meant to her that you didn't try to insist on everyone calling her Tasha.”

Kayne nodded. He grabbed an egg and began spinning it, watching it wobble across the counter. “I look at this life, and I think it's everything I ever pictured when I envisioned my future all those years ago, because I wanted what you and Mama had. Have. But I feel so guilty because of what it cost. Did Jess tell you all of the kids came from foster care, emotionally and physically battered and bruised?”

Ben nodded. “Yeah, we got here a few minutes after you left for church yesterday, and, you know your mama, she wouldn't be dissuaded from helping in the kitchen, so they had a nice long talk while I decorated.”

“Then you know what I mean when I ask, what right do I have to be happy when each of the kids had to suffer? When my own two had to die in such a horrible manner, when I had to watch Oksana kill herself, when Jess had to hold a stranger’s child and watch her husband die a horrible death. What right do I have to be happy at that great of a cost? It's not fair, Pop. It's just not fair.” Christ he was not going to cry. Not in front of this man whom he respected so much.

Ben leaned over the island and looked Kayne in the eye. “Listen to me, son. You did not abuse those children, their biological parents did, and Jess was there to give them a kind loving home. Whoever killed Nikolai and Natalia are at fault for their deaths, be that Oksana or someone else. They are at fault. You may never know why Oksana pulled that trigger, but she did it, not you.”

Ben straightened. “As far as Jarred, it sounds like saving Grace was perhaps one of the few truly selfless acts he ever committed. He gave his life for her, regardless, and it's up to you two to ensure that she celebrates that life, his past, and her future.”

“I yelled at Oksana,” Kayne admitted. “I accused her of killing them. What if she didn't? What if I all but put that gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger? How could I have just left it laying there?”

“You're not Superman, son.”

“Why not, you are?”

Ben chuckled, taking the remark at the face value Kayne had meant it. Ben had always been his hero. “I'm human too. I put my pants on every morning one leg at a time, no phone booth involved.”

His grin sobered. “Oksana made her choice, and it was the wrong one. Jarred made his choice, and it was the right one. Regardless of their past, everything that happened, happened for a reason. I don't know why. All I can tell you is that all those bad events occurred because people made choices. Not necessarily right ones or wrong ones, but choices. It's what free agency is all about. You weren’t the cause of any of the events that brought you to this point, and neither was Jessica.”

“I know that, Pop. In here.” Kayne tapped the side of his head. “I know that what you're saying is true, but my heart hurts, so bad.”

“As it should. I don't think that type of pain ever goes away, it just becomes less relevant. What you two are doing now, picking up the pieces, rising out of the ashes like a Phoenix and making a family. Giving those kids upstairs a father. Letting Gracie keep her real mother and siblings. You and Jess being helpmates for each other. That is a beautiful thing. A God thing.

If you stop and think about it, deep down you'll realize that had it been any other two people in the world, they would have torn this family apart instead of building a stronger, better one.”

Ben paused and leveled an intent gaze on him. “Never doubt how proud I am of you, son, or how much I love you.”

Kayne simply nodded, unable to speak.

The conversation ended at the sound of feet pounding down the stairs. Kayne smiled, realizing he could differentiate Ash's upbeat “it's a beautiful morning” tempo compared to Maddy's slow “don't-mess-with-me-until-I've-had-my-cocoa” cadence.

Kayne dropped the Keurig cup into place and was ready to start counting marshmallows when Maddy finally rounded the corner. He slid the cup in front of a grateful Maddy and headed upstairs to wake two little sprites.

***

Jess stopped just outside the kitchen when she heard Ash’s voice.

“Did Kayne call you dad, when he was little?”

“Well no, all my kids called me ‘Pop,’ short for ‘Papa Bear’ cause I'm so big. For a while Kayne called me ‘Ben’ until he was ready to start calling me ‘Pop’ like everyone else. I didn't push him. I let him decide on his own time.”

“What did Kayne's kids call him?”

“Papa.”

“I don't want to call him Kayne anymore. Do you think it would make him sad if I called him ‘Papa,’ since they can't anymore?”

“Why don't you ask him?” Ben suggested.

“Are we gonna see you again, Po-pop?” Ash asked after a long moment of silence.

“You sure are. You're my grandson now. That means you and your sisters have six aunts and uncles and eighteen cousins. We'll visit a couple times a year, and send cards with a little money tucked in for birthdays and Christmas.”

Jess's gut clenched at the thought. She knew the sentiment came from the heart, but hoped Ben wasn't making a promise that Kayne couldn't keep. She couldn't see him staying with her, when he could have so much more with someone else.

Jess heard Kayne coming down the back stairs with Isabelle and Grace and decided it was time to make an entrance. She stepped into the kitchen. “Morning.”

“Morning, Mama.” Ash stood and headed for the coffee maker.

“The men in this house sure have you and Maddy pegged.” Ben laughed. “Make another one for your Grandma while you’re at it, Ash. She'll be up any minute.”

“I'm right here.” Luann smiled at Kayne and Jess. “These little girls burrowed in with us last night.” Luann looked down at Grace, whom she held on one hip.

“Oh, Grace.” Jess sighed.

“I scared of monster,” Grace said. “Wanted Kayne.” Grace reached out, and Kayne willingly took her into his arms.

“But she settled for us,” Luann said, completing the transfer.

Jess knew there had been a lot of turmoil because of the custody battle, but it didn't explain why her children were suddenly seeing shadows. When she glanced Kayne's direction, his thoughts were easily readable. It worried him too.