Razing Kayne

TWENTY-FOUR



Jess rushed into the kitchen at eight the following morning. She had just under an hour to get Kayne and five kids, including Tiffany, dressed, fed, and out the door to church. She couldn't understand why no one had bothered to wake her up hours ago.

Jess stopped short, taking in the sight before her. Five freshly showered children sat around the table eating, while Kayne stood at the stove, making pancakes to replace the ones rabidly being consumed.

“Morning, baby. Bacon or sausage?” Kayne handed her a cup of coffee.

Jess absently accepted the steamy cup. “Why didn't you wake me?”

“Because we were doing fine on our own, and I thought you might like a little extra sleep.” Kayne gave her a wicked smile.

“I needed to get everyone's clothes ready for church.” She didn't want to start a fight, today of all days, but this had really thrown off her schedule. She knew he didn't feel like he belonged in church any more than she did and was afraid he'd try and get out of going, which would just cause a whole slew of problems.

“Already done. Everything is pressed and wrinkle-free. All the kids have to do is wash their faces and throw on clothes.”

“Really?” She was surprised that he'd gotten their clothes ready too.

“Yep. Maddy loaned Tiffany a dress and even pulled out your blue one, said it was your favorite.”

The blue dress was her favorite, but it was silk and had to be treated very gently.

“Relax, I told you I know how to read labels. It survived quite nicely,” he said, reading her mind.

“Thanks, but...I wasn't going to church today.” Jess didn’t dare meet his gaze. This was the part she hadn't quite figured out.

“We can stay home, if you want.” Kayne started flipping pancakes to the other side.

Jess bit her bottom lip. “Actually, I was hoping you'd be willing to take the kids.”

He looked up. “Do you have something to do?”

Jess looked away, knowing she wouldn't be able to lie convincingly to him. As a cop, he'd read right through it. “I just need some space.” She’d blurted the words before she thought how they would sound.

There was unmistakable disappointment in Kayne’s voice. “I'll be happy to take them.”

Jess felt awful, but there was no way to correct his assumption without blowing the surprise. “I'm sorry,” she whispered, before she could stop herself. It was a kneejerk reaction to apologize in an attempt to stave off Jarred’s anger. Though he’d rarely hit her, he could make her feel like a pond slug.

Jess tried not to flinch when Kayne touched her, but knew she’d failed when he whispered, “Hey, it's okay.” He gently stroked his hand down her arm from shoulder to fingertips and tightly squeezed. “Really. It's okay.”

She could do nothing but nod as she fought desperately to keep the tears at bay. Why did he have to be so damned sweet? Why couldn't he be a jackass about it, so at least she'd have a reason to be glad when he left?

Jess hated subterfuge, but in this case it was necessary. Tomorrow was Kayne's birthday, and she’d planned a surprise party for later this afternoon. After all the work everyone had put into it, she didn’t want to spoil it now. She’d spent several days sneaking around to get everything arranged for a party in the disguise of game six of the Stanley Cup playoffs.

“Here, sit down and eat,” Kayne said, handing her a plate of food that she was sure would go to waste. She didn't think she could swallow a thing.

After breakfast, Jess helped Kayne get the kids dressed and into the Tahoe. The moment the garage door closed behind them, she got to work. She wanted him to have no doubt that the true reason she'd not been at his side today had nothing to do with not wanting to be with him.

Fifteen minutes later, his surprise arrived.

Jess had been nervous about meeting Ben and Luann Dobrescu. So worried in fact that she’d nearly let it slip last night. But her concern that they would treat her as Jarred's parents had flew out the window the moment she opened the door.

“Oh my heaven! Ben, look at her, she’s absolutely perfect!” Luann Dobrescu stepped forward and engulfed her in a long motherly hug. “Oh, how I’ve been praying for you to come into my son’s life, and now here you are!”

“Honey, let the poor girl breathe.” Ben chuckled, his voice deep and strong.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Luann pulled back. “I’m leaking all over you.” She quickly swiped at the tears beneath her eyes.

The huge man who had been standing behind her stepped forward. “I guess by now you’ve figured out we’re your new parents.” He held out his hand. “I’m Ben, but my kids call me ‘Pop,’ and they call Luann ‘Mama.’ We hope that you’ll do the same when you’re ready.”

Jess batted away her own tears. “Please come in, I’m so glad you’re here,” she managed to say despite the huge lump in her throat.

Luann and Ben were warm, open people, and she fell immediately in love with them. No wonder Kayne had turned out so wonderfully. He’d had incredible examples.

Ben put himself to work decorating, and Luann fluttered between helping in the kitchen and decorating alongside him. All the while telling Jess amusing anecdotes about life raising Kayne. She spoke of him with such love and affection. She might not have had him for the first twelve years, but Jess would dare anyone to try and tell Luann he wasn't one of her children.

Luann was easy to talk to, and, by the time people started arriving, Jessica was pretty sure she'd confessed her whole life story. The woman should have worked for the CIA—Jess had no doubt she could have broken the hardest criminals before they ever knew they were giving away secrets.

“I will say one last thing to you, and I want you to listen carefully. I know my son, and I know what he needs in a wife, and I'm convinced that even if he'd searched the world over, he couldn't have found anyone better than you. I'm so happy to have you as a daughter.”

Jess hugged her back and nearly cried for the third time that day.

If only it were that simple.

***

Kayne hadn't realized how much knowing Jess wanted space would bother him, especially after last night. He knew she had loved Jarred despite his betrayal and so it stood to reason that she'd be struggling with letting him go. That was something Kayne just needed to accept. Jarred was part of Jess's past. Whether or not Kayne thought he deserved such devotion was irrelevant.

Del and Polly didn't ask where Jess was, they just seemed to know. He wasn't sure if that made him feel better or worse. And then there was Cody. Apparently, since they'd braved the wilderness together and both came out alive, they were now friends of sorts.

Cody stopped at the end of the pew. “Mind if I sit with you guys?”

How could Kayne say no when Tiffany was already sitting with them? Whether the belligerent hose-monkey chose to acknowledge her or not, Tiffany claimed him as her father.

Kayne stood and motioned for the children to move down. “No, have a seat.” He looked back at Cody. “Are your parents or the rest of your crew joining us?” Kayne wondered how much room he should make. Since Cody was in uniform he assumed he was on duty.

“I doubt it.” He sat at the end of the pew and looked around Kayne. “Where's Gracie?”

Kayne automatically looked back over his shoulder. “With Joe.” He watched as Joe Sutton shamelessly used Gracie as an excuse to talk to the new pre-school teacher. Joe had explained she'd replaced the lady that had been teaching since the beginning of time. The new teacher was a pretty little thing, Kayne had to admit, and seemed genuinely friendly to Joe, who Gracie was just as shamelessly loving on. She giggled over something Joe said and gave him a big ole sloppy, smacking kiss right on the lips. Kayne couldn't help but smile, even as he realized Jess would probably kill him if she knew what Joe was up to.

“Where's Jess?” Cody leaned over and whispered a few minutes later as they announced the opening Hymns.

“She had somewhere to be.” That got an altogether too smug smile out of Cody. And that smug smile was Cody's tell. Kayne realized exactly what his game was—he’d decided that if he befriended Kayne, he'd be able to be close to Jess. He could bide his time, and if he was lucky, help things along to their detrimental end.

Joe had been right. Cody was going to be a problem.

***

Kayne snaked around the handful of cars in the back driveway and was happy to finally pull into the garage. It had taken more than thirty minutes to get five kids—Tiffany included—rounded up and out to the Tahoe.

Del met them at the garage door. “Your Mama wants you all inside right now,” Del told the kids. “Kayne, you might want to give her a few minutes, she's a bit hot under the collar over the whole phone incident.” Once the kids scampered off, Del added, “Apparently she intercepted several phone calls from other women.”

“Shit!” It was probably his sisters calling to wish him a Happy Birthday. “I need to go talk to her.”

Del held up a stopping hand. “I wouldn't do that, if I were you. She's getting everything ready for the party.”

Kayne’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Doesn't she need my help?” He looked up as the walk-in freezer door slammed shut.

“Nope, I have everything she needs.” Cody smiled smugly. He disappeared back into the house with several bags of ice.

Kayne didn't miss the duality of his statement.

“Go get changed, give me a few minutes, and we'll clear the kitchen out so you can talk to her without an audience.” Del all but shoved Kayne down the back stairs so he could bypass the kitchen altogether. “I'd be quick about it. Never a good idea to keep an angry woman waiting.”

Great, just f*cking great. He couldn't imagine what was going through Jess’s mind. She probably didn't even realize it was his birthday, and knowing his sisters, they'd probably started in with the third degree without bothering to introduce themselves. Would she give him a chance to explain, or would she just assume he was as faithless as Jarred had been?

Obviously, she was struggling if she’d needed space today, but surely she wouldn't give up on them that easily, would she?

That thought hurt far worse than Kayne had expected. Damn it all, he didn't just want Gracie, he wanted them all. It all—Jess, the kids, this whole crazy life. Though only a couple weeks had passed, Kayne couldn't imagine going back to his lonely existence. He couldn't imagine pulling Gracie out of this happy life or having to see her only part time. Somehow, he had to make this work. He knew that. Had known it since the moment he said, I do.

Kayne took the stairs two at a time and quickly changed into a T-shirt, jeans, and his tennis shoes, leaving his church clothes where he'd tossed them on the bed. All the while, his heart raced and his gut rolled in fear of the fight that lay ahead. He made his way to the kitchen and paused before the entry, trying to quell his nerves and calm his racing heart.

He took a couple deep breaths and slowly let them out before he stepped around the corner and through the doorway.

“SUPRISE!” a sea of people shouted.

Kayne took a staggering step backward and stood there in shock, looking around the room at all the smiling faces wearing party hats. A huge banner reading “Happy Birthday!” hung from the ceiling, surrounded by streamers and balloons. This was the absolute last thing he'd suspected. He couldn't remember the last time he’d celebrated his birthday. It had probably been his twenty-first, if he had to guess. As a child, he'd had little opportunity to do so because of Nina's choices. Of course that had all changed with Ben and Luann.

But he wasn't really focusing on the past—he was too busy studying his wife’s bashful face. The woman who'd missed church and let him foolishly believe she didn't want to be with him instead of ruin his surprise. The woman he'd been so afraid was going to call it quits before ever giving it a chance. He was such an idiot.

Kayne stood there, his eyes flashing from person to person then back to Jess, again and again. Finally, he managed to thaw out enough to move. He crossed the distance, headed directly for his wife as he fought the moisture that tried to form in the corners of his eyes. He had to touch her, hold her in his arms. He'd scared the hell out of himself with thoughts of her leaving him, and now he needed to know she was there. Seeing her with his eyes wasn't good enough.

Kayne all but wrapped himself around Jess as he captured her lips with his. God, he could so easily get lost in her. He wanted to drag her off and make love to her right now. To let his body speak the words he couldn’t say. In that instant, he had absolutely no doubt that's he'd fallen head over ass in love with her. F*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

Ash and Isabelle's exaggerated gagging, and Maddy and Tiffany's giggling reminded Kayne they had an audience. He dragged his lips from Jess’s to whisper in her ear, “I'm so sorry, baby. Thank you.” He kissed her once more, softly, then regrettably stepped away, when what he really wanted to do was throw her over his shoulder and haul her off somewhere for a very intense private conversation.

Resigned to the fact that he had a house full of people, Kayne turned to the kids. “All right, where are the rest of my birthday hugs and kisses?” Crouching down to their level, he added, “I believe I deserve them for your...ahem...behavior. Though I suspect you may have been put up to it,” he said glancing at Jess.

“I would never...” Jess couldn't even get the sentence out with a straight face.

Yeah, the little imps had been in on it, stalling their exodus from church.

Five rambunctious children, Tiffany included, had no qualms about tackling him backward onto the kitchen floor, where they proceeded to tickle him mercilessly. Still laughing so hard he could barely breathe, he looked up and saw a familiar face he hadn't expected to see. “Mama?”

Sure enough, there Luann Dobrescu stood, quietly crying. Behind her stood a hulk of a man, with his arms wrapped around her, smiling down at Kayne, his own eyes misty. “Pop, what the heck are you guys doing here?” He glanced back and forth between them and Jess as he carefully extricated himself from the kids.

He scooped his mother up in a bear hug. “Mama, it's so good to see you.” It had been nearly two years since he'd seen them. They'd been there after his children had died of course, stayed to help when the detective was trying to pin the murders on him, but after that he'd kept his distance. He couldn't deal with a constant reminder of everything. So he'd made his excuses and even kept the phone calls to a minimum. Until Jess.

“Did you see her, Pop?” He hugged his father, who still had a good two inches and forty pounds on him. “Did you see Tasha, meet the rest of my kids?” They had only met Tasha once. She'd been only two months old, but they had doted on Nikolai and Natalia, and the kids’ deaths had hit his parents as deeply as it had him.

“Gracie has been talking Nanna and Po-pop's ears off since she walked in the door,” Jess said.

Nanna and Po-pop. It's what all their grandchildren called them, what Nikolai and Natalia had called them. God, he was going to embarrass himself by crying like a baby in front of all these people.

“We met all four of them, son.” Ben’s voice and gaze were as steady as the man himself. “They are beautiful. Perfect. Like this wonderful little wife of yours.” He laid a burly hand on Jess's delicate shoulder. “Your mama cried for near an hour after Jessica called her, inviting us to visit for your birthday. Wild horses couldn't have kept either of us away.”

“I'm sorry, Pop.” Kayne hugged him again. His father was no dummy. He knew Kayne had been avoiding him, and with the forgiveness Kayne saw shining in Ben's eyes, Kayne knew he'd never fooled him for a moment. “I'm so sorry,” he repeated and held on tight for a moment longer.

“Mama.” He hugged her tightly in an apology he couldn't begin to put into words.

“It's okay, son. We understood,” she whispered.

Kayne pulled back, wiping at his eyes with the palm of his hands. What a profound statement. Luann had always understood him, even when he didn't understand himself. Both her and Pop had.

“This is incredible.” Kayne looked around while he fought to get his emotions under control. He reached down and picked up Isabelle, who was clinging to his leg. “Did you help with this 'Sabella?”

Isabelle bobbed her head, then tucked it tightly under his chin. While Gracie was happily chatting with anyone willing to hold her, Isabelle was on stranger overload.

Now that he could breathe again, Kayne noticed how much he'd missed. Like the smell of Jess's lasagna cooking, the trays of food on the counter, and the cake. “Cake? You made me a cake?” He asked looking at the huge cake with his name on it.

“That's black cherry-filled chocolate cake. And there will be homemade vanilla bean ice cream when it gets done churning,” Luann said

It all came into perspective. All last week Jessica had been asking him about his favorite types of food. Now, looking around, he understood. This wasn't some last minute party; she'd planned this well in advance.

“Yes, yes, there's enough food here to make an army sick.” Jess blushed. “Why don't you all head downstairs, take those last few trays with you. The game is going to start shortly. I'll send the rest of the guests down as they arrive.”

Kayne took a hard look around and noticed most of his squad was present, some of the off duties with spouses and children in tow. The on-duty fire-medic crews for both Payson and Hellsgate. Other faces stood out: Dr. Mark Oberly, Trace St. Moritz, Nick Astenbeck, Rafe Chatham, and of course Joe, who’d apparently brought the pre-school teacher.

Kayne reached out and snagged Jessica around the waist. “You are amazing,” he whispered. “You've made all of my favorite foods. I'm sure hoping a gym membership is among those presents.” He motioned to the table. Kayne still couldn't believe she'd gone to so much work for him. For the children, he expected that, but not him.

“I'm not giving you any hints, Officer Dobrescu,” she said saucily. “Well okay, one. Eat whatever you want. I plan on making you work those calories off later.”

Kayne growled low in his throat. “To hell with later.” Surely no one would notice if they disappeared for a while.

“Oh no you don't.” Jess dug in her heels when he started tugging her toward the nearest exit. “There’s a house full of people,” she argued. “And there are presents to open and a cake to cut before the game starts.”

Reluctantly, Kayne gave in and followed her downstairs.

After everyone had finished eating, Jess got their attention, and made Kayne take a seat.

“The kids want you to open these first.” Jess handed him a stack of handmade cards. “I've mixed them up so they are in no certain order.” Jess emphasized, looking at the kids, who groaned. Apparently they'd been fighting over whose got opened first.

Kayne opened each card—even Tiffany had made one for him—reading the inscription out loud, fighting really hard not to let his emotions get the better of him again. Gracie's was last. He couldn't have gotten the words out if he'd wanted to. In her baby scrawl, she'd managed to trace the words that had already been spelled out: Love you, Papa.

Kayne cleared his throat. “Thank you. I’m going to keep these forever and ever.”

“You're not done yet, there's more.” Jess pointed out.

“Nope, take the rest back. Nothing could be better than these.” And he honestly meant it.

He'd never understood how Ben and Luann could love him unquestionably. Practically from the moment they met, they'd become his parents in their mind. It had taken Kayne nearly a year before he realized they weren’t letting him go, before he realized they truly loved him. They had fallen instantly in love with the near-wild Russian boy. Looking into the eyes of Jess's children—their children—Kayne now understood.

He looked up, catching Ben's eyes. Ben nodded and winked. Pop knew exactly what Kayne was thinking, like he always had.

“I don't know, son, I think you should at least take a look,” Del said. “I hear some of them are non-returnable.”

“Well, if you insist,” he said, feeling his cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

Jess looked questioningly at Kayne. “This one is heavy and breakable, maybe—”

Ben stepped forward. “Let me get that. You stay where you are so Luann and Polly can get their pictures.”

Jess was right; the large, near-flat rectangle weighed a good forty pounds. Kayne frowned. “What on earth?”

“Just open it and quit speculating,” Jess urged excitedly.

Kayne's jaw nearly hit the ground when he saw the signed jersey that had been worn by Shane Dorn. Complete with authentication. “Are you kidding me? When? How?”

Jess pointed at herself and nodded exaggeratedly. “I am a woman of many talents.”

Kayne loved this playful side of her. “Yes, yes, you are.” He gave her a salacious grin, bringing a round of cat calls and wolf whistles out of the adults.

Blushing profusely, Jess handed him his next gift.

Kayne pulled the paper back to reveal a custom-matted picture. In the very center was a large picture of Kayne, Jess, and all the kids at the hockey game, with their backs to the glass. He'd forgotten how he'd asked the man sitting behind them to snap the shot. He was stunned to see how much they'd looked like a family even back then.

The photo was surrounded by various candids of Kayne and the kids with the team. There was one empty spot that Kayne realized was for the ticket she'd asked him if he was going to keep.

“I'm in serious trouble. I'm never going to be able to top this,” Kayne mumbled. He handed the collage off to be passed around and pulled Jess down into his lap.

Framing her face he said, “Thank you.” He repeated the words at least a dozen times and punctuated each one with a kiss. “This is perfect. Absolutely perfect,” he whispered again, but this time, he wasn't talking about the party, but about the woman he held in his arms. How in the hell had he let himself fall in love with her?