Not by Sight A Novel

CHAPTER 39

One week later, as the morning sun sat just below the horizon and turned the sky a blazing shade of hot pink, Buck sat at a table at Flutter’s Café, having breakfast with Titus and reveling in the sound of Abby laughing with the customers at table six.

“Can you believe how good all this is turning out?” Titus said.

Buck smiled. “Actually, I can. Oh, I admit I started havin’ some doubts. But God planned to bring Riley Jo home, even when we couldn’t see it.”

Titus’s eyebrows came together. “But you have to wonder why He didn’t save Micah.”

“The Lord has His reasons,” Buck said. “Far be it from me to question Him. Like the preacher said last Sunday, our lives are tapestries. It takes some dark threads to make a beautiful design. Losin’ Micah was a dark thread, but I see each one in my family has grown stronger and even more beautiful because of it. And gettin’ Riley Jo back is a real faith builder for me and Jesse—and most of all, Abby. When all she had was blind faith, she held on for dear life. And God did bring her and her baby sister home.”

“When do you think Riley Jo will actually be coming to live with you?”

“Sometime within the next week.” Buck folded Saturday’s newspaper and set it aside. “The folks at DCFS think Riley Jo’s about ready. The rest of us have been ready for five years.”

“I can only imagine what this ordeal’s been like.” Titus took a sip of coffee. “Do Kate and Hawk seem less bitter?”

“They sure do,” Buck said. “Kate’s over the top with joy at the moment. She’s givin’ Virgil and Hawk the credit for savin’ those kids. But I’ve noticed Hawk’s real quiet. Seems like he’s mullin’ things over quite a bit.”

“It was a really brave thing he did. Must be sobering to know you saved one person’s life—let alone three.”

Buck nodded. “He won’t take credit for it, though. Insists he’s not a hero.”

“Maybe he’s just being humble.”

Buck laughed. “That’s not usually Hawk’s strong point. It’s more than that. But I can’t put my finger on it yet.”

Titus spread strawberry jam on his last piece of toast. “What about Otha Tutt? Will she get to see Riley Jo?”

“Looks that way,” Buck said. “The sheriff’s questioned Otha at length and is convinced she had no clue that Isaiah had kidnapped Riley Jo and killed her real father. All that happened before they met. But just between us”—Buck lowered his voice—“there was another issue that had to be resolved. Seems Otha and Isaiah also had a baby boy, Luke, who died. The sheriff checked, and there’s no record of Luke Tutt’s birth or death. Riley Jo told the sheriff she heard Luke cryin’ and fussin’ one night, and then he was gone the next mornin’. She thinks Isaiah shook the baby because she saw him do it before.”

“Couldn’t the sheriff just ask Otha what happened?”

“He did.” Buck stroked his mustache. “Otha told the sheriff that Luke had colic, and Isaiah was up late, tryin’ to calm him down. She went to sleep and discovered the baby missin’ the next mornin’. Isaiah seemed as upset as she was. Told her Luke had stopped breathin’, and he decided to go ahead and bury him in order to spare her havin’ to see her dead baby. Otha was devastated but never suspected he’d caused the baby’s death. Neither of them spoke of him again.”

“Just like that?” Titus said. “Without even calling the coroner?”

“That’s the way mountain folk handle things. Otha said she didn’t even know that births and deaths are supposed to be recorded with the state. She’s gonna have to file delayed birth certificates on the twins and baby Luke, and a death certificate on Luke. The main thing is the woman seems like a right good mother to those boys. And she was good to Riley Jo.”

“Are you going to call her Riley Jo?”

“That hasn’t been decided yet,” Buck said. “Kate wants the child to be comfortable with her name. They’ve been workin’ on it together, but so far, they aren’t sayin’.”



Abby changed out of her staff shirt, then sat on her bed, reading a text message from Jay, who wanted her to take her to a movie later on.

A knock at her door caused her to look up. Hawk stood in the doorway.

“Come in,” she said. “What’s up?”

Hawk flopped on the bed next to her. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something and keep forgetting.”

“What’s that?”

“Didn’t you tell us that Riley Jo said she saw an angel once? Had a strange name.”

“Yes. Custos, why?”

“What did she say about him?”

“Well …” Abby thought back on her conversations with her sister. “She said he was humongous and strong. Then one time she fell out of a weeping willow tree into the pond and was choking on water. The next thing she knew, she was on the shore, and Custos was drying her with his wing.”

Hawk shifted his weight. “She actually said that? He dried her with his wing?”

“Exactly that. Why are you asking?”

Hawk shrugged. “I just want to know everything about her. Anything else—like why she called him Custos?”

“She said he told her his name, that she didn’t name him. He also promised that he was always watching out for her, even when she didn’t see him.”

“So … did she think this was her guardian angel?”

“Not in so many words. But that’s how I see it. Jay and Grandpa think so too.”

“Cool.” Hawk stood. “So who are you texting … Jay?”

“Uh-huh. We’re going to the movies this afternoon.”

“I’m glad you two are together now, and not just best friends. I like him a lot. You seem like a good fit.”

Abby felt her face warm. “Thanks to you, Jay’s still breathing. I know I’ve probably overdone my thank-yous, but I can’t thank you enough for saving him—and us. Isaiah really would have killed us.”

“I believed it the second I saw him pointing his rifle at Jay’s chest.”

“You were so brave,” Abby said.

Hawk shook his head. “I really wasn’t. I didn’t even think about it. I just aimed and shot the rifle out of Tutt’s hand.”

“Thank God.”

“Yeah.” Hawk cracked his knuckles and seemed to stare at nothing.

“Are you all right?” Abby said.

“I’m fine.”

“You’ve been acting weird ever since you came to our rescue.”

Hawk smiled. “I’ve always been weird, according to you.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re a cool kind of weird.”

“Thanks. I’ll let you get back to lover boy. See you later.”

Hawk got up and left the room.

Abby sensed there was something on her brother’s mind but wasn’t sure what it was.



Kate put the last of the lunch dishes in the dishwasher and turned the dial to Normal Wash.

“Mama?”

Kate turned around. “Hawk. I didn’t hear you come in. What is it?”

Hawk’s expression was tentative and somewhat somber, his eyes animated. “Can we talk—just the two of us?”

“Sure.” Kate dried her hands with a towel. “Everyone’s gone at the moment. Let’s sit here at the table. What is it?”

Hawk sat quickly at the table and waited to speak until Kate was seated across from him. “I … I did a Google search of the word custos, the name of Riley Jo’s angel.”

“You mean her imaginary friend.”

“Uh, actually, Mama, I meant her angel.”

“Okay. And what did you find?”

“The name is Latin. Spelled C-U-S-T-O-S. Know what it means?”

“You know I don’t,” Kate said.

“Guardian! It’s the Latin phrase for guardian. There’s no way a seven-year-old who can barely read and had no access to TV or a computer could know that, unless … what she told you and Abby and Jay is true.”

Kate studied her son’s face. He was serious. “Hawk, your sister could have heard that name anywhere. I’m not willing to decide a spiritual reality based on the story told by a little girl with a big imagination.”

Hawk’s eyes glistened. “Well, how about the testimony of your oldest son with the imagination of a tree stump?”

“What are you talking about?”

Hawk blinked several times to clear his eyes. “I haven’t told anyone, but when I lifted my rifle to shoot Isaiah … I felt something … steadying my hand.”

“Like what?”

“I know this is going to sound crazy, but you know I’m not crazy, right?”

Kate smiled. “You’re not crazy, Hawk. What did you feel?”

Hawk swallowed hard. “It felt to me like … a wing. A huge wing. I felt the feathers and the weight of it.”

“Don’t you think in the adrenaline rush of the moment, there could be another explanation? After all, you were intent on stopping Isaiah from shooting Jay.”

“Mama, I was shaking so hard I could barely aim. I just shot the rifle. I must’ve had a little help. I didn’t imagine feeling that huge wing holding me steady. What if God wanted to show me that Riley Jo did have an angel with her the whole time she was missing? And that maybe I have one too? Maybe we all do.”

Kate’s heart pounded. Her son had a lot of strong qualities, but a good imagination wasn’t one of them. She reached across the table and took his hand. He was trembling.

“I can’t answer that,” she said. “But it’s possible that, in the confusion of the moment, you did imagine it.”

“I didn’t,” Hawk said. “I know what I felt because it shocked the socks off me at the time. I wanted to tell the family right off, but I couldn’t handle it if y’all thought I was nuts. Shoot, at first, I wondered if I was nuts. But it was real, Mama. Just as real as you sitting here holding my hand.”

Kate decided not to try and talk him out of it. “You say the name means guard?”

“It’s the Latin phrase for guardian. Google it yourself. You’ll see.”

“But how do you even know it’s the correct spelling?” Kate said. “It could just be coincidence.”

“I looked it up every which way, and this is all I found. It can be spelled with a k, too, but it means the same thing. That’d be some pretty amazing coincidence, don’t you think?”

Kate considered the implications if this were true. Was it possible that God really had been listening to their prayers? That He really did use angels to accomplish His purposes? That Hawk and Riley Jo had indeed encountered at least one of them?

Kate looked into Hawk’s eyes, her mind racing with clever ways to discount his experience, but none of them were adequate.

“This was very real to you,” she said, letting go of his hand. “I can see that.”

Hawk smiled. “About the most real thing I’ve ever experienced. I think maybe God wants to call a truce. I’ve shut Him out for five years. Maybe it was His way of showing He hasn’t given up on me—and doesn’t want me to give up on Him.”

“Is that why you joined hands with Grandpa and then pulled me into the prayer circle that day at the command post?” Kate said.

Hawk nodded. “Yeah. I don’t really know how to get back to God. But I knew I had to stop running.” Hawk’s eyes turned to dark pools. “Think about it. What if God actually sent an angel to help me? I wasn’t even speaking to Him. I bad-mouthed Him up one side and down the other. Yet He helped me, even when I didn’t ask for help. And He helped Riley Jo when she was so vulnerable. He’s been right there all along. You and I were just too hurt and mad to accept it.”

“You know this is a lot for me to take in.” Kate sighed. “I just assumed Riley Jo had imagined it. I do believe what you’re telling me. Obviously, it made a huge impact on you. I just don’t know what to do with it.”

“Me, either,” Hawk said. “I thought maybe, together, you and I could figure it out.”