Not by Sight A Novel

CHAPTER 34

Abby curled up in the window seat in her room, hugging Riley Jo’s baby doll. The moon was suspended over Beaver Lake, its luminous reflection casting a soft golden glow that turned the ripples into diamonds and the islands and inlets into a mysterious shadowy maze.

Her father’s death didn’t seem real yet. But losing Riley Jo a second time did. It was both depressing and confusing.

Lord, it hurts so much that You let Daddy get killed. I was so sure he would come home. But it was amazing that we were able to get Riley Jo away from that monster. Why did You let us lose her again? I heard Mama crying in her room. She has too many things to be sad about.

Surely this setback would cause her mother and Hawk to be even more cynical toward God.

Abby heard a gentle knock at the door.

“It’s Grandpa, Abby. Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

Grandpa Buck came in, turned on the lamp, and sat on the side of her bed, facing her. “How’re you doin’?”

Abby shrugged.

“I know how bad you must feel about Riley Jo. But as the sayin’ goes, ‘It ain’t over till it’s over.’”

“What if Sheriff Granger doesn’t find her?” Abby said. “We’ll be in limbo like we’ve been for five long years—only worse because now we know she’s alive and we came so close to getting her back.”

“We’re still close to gettin’ her back. Don’t forget that.”

“But Isaiah’s in jail. He couldn’t have taken her. Otha wouldn’t do that, now that she knows the truth. How does anyone know where to start looking?”

“We best let Virgil work it out.”

Abby rolled her eyes. “He doesn’t know where to look either, Grandpa.”

“Come over here,” he said.

Abby walked over to her grandfather. He sat her on his knee the way he had done so many times when she was little.

“God knows where Riley Jo is,” Grandpa said. “We have to trust Him.”

“I know. I do. I mean, I want to, but …”

“You feel like you’re flyin’ blind?”

Abby nodded.

“Well, I guess, in a way, we are. Isn’t that what faith is? If we could see where we were goin’, it wouldn’t really be faith, now would it?”

“I guess not. But it’s so hard.”

“It takes practice. Maybe that’s why so many trials come our way. Nobody ever said trustin’ God was easy. I expect most everybody’d rather have control. I sure would.”

“Me, too.”

“But He’s got a plan way bigger than we can grasp. And everything—even the difficult things—fits in to it somewhere. He’s all about buildin’ character, not keepin’ us comfortable.”

Abby mused, “So you really believe that all the sadness we’ve dealt with these past five years had a purpose?”

“Absolutely. Don’t ask me what, because I couldn’t tell you. But God doesn’t waste anything, not even the suffering we believers go through. Some kinda good comes out of it. The Bible says so, and I believe it. Doesn’t mean I understand it.”

“It doesn’t really make sense,” Abby said.

“Certainly not to our natural mind. But somewhere deep in your spirit, it’s actually a relief when we give in to it.” Grandpa kissed her cheek. “You and me’ve got a real advantage over Kate and Hawk. We know God’s sovereign. So there’s no point in tormentin’ ourselves with a lot of what-ifs. We have to trust Him, that’s all there is to it. But since He’s at the controls, it’s okay that we’re flyin’ blind, if you know what I mean.”

Abby nodded. “I get it, Grandpa. I’m just not very good at it yet.”

There was a knock at the door. Hawk stood in the doorway, holding the portable phone. “It’s Jay. He apologized for calling our home phone, but you don’t have a cell phone anymore.”

“I’m gonna scoot out of here and let you talk to him,” her grandfather said.

Abby put her arms around him. “I love you, Grandpa. So much. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get the chance to say that again.”

Grandpa pulled her a little closer and stroked her hair. “I love you too, honey. I never want to come that close to losin’ you again.”

Abby took the phone from Hawk and thanked him, then he and Grandpa Buck left her room and closed the door behind them.

Abby put the phone to her ear. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” Jay said. “I’m sorry for calling so late on this line.”

“It’s all right. We’re all up.”

“I figured.” Jay exhaled into the receiver. “I’m sick about Ella. The deputies just left here. They asked me all kinds of questions—like I had anything to do with it. I can’t understand how this could happen.”

“Me, either. That’s what Sheriff Granger is trying to figure out.”

“How’s everyone holding up?”

“Mama’s a mess. Hawk’s mad. Grandpa and I are praying like nuts. Jesse’s trying to comfort everyone, but he hardly remembers Daddy or Riley Jo. How about you?”

“It was finally starting to sink in that we actually found your sister and escaped with our lives—and now this.”

Abby fell back on the bed. “I know. Did you tell your mother the whole story?”

“Every detail. I think she was shocked that I had the guts to go after your sister. But she cried when I told her I thought I’d accidentally shot and killed a man when I was twelve and was scared to say anything. She remembers how moody I was as an adolescent, but she’d heard that it was normal and blew it off.”

“I’m glad it’s finally out in the open,” Abby said, “and that you didn’t kill anyone. I’m so sorry you carried the guilt all that time.”

“Do you know if Isaiah’s confessed?”

Abby stared at the ceiling fan going round and round. “I’m not sure. But last I heard, he was still blaming you. Sheriff Granger believes us. But he can’t charge him with capital murder without more proof.”

“What kind of proof does he think he can get? I can’t prove his accusation wrong.”

“I don’t know. But he told us not to worry about it, that he already has enough to put Isaiah in jail for the rest of his life. And no one is going to prosecute you for the shooting.”

“I should’ve told someone,” Jay said. “If I had, maybe you would’ve gotten Riley Jo back five years ago.”

“I wish you could stop beating yourself up for that. No one is blaming you for being manipulated by Isaiah’s cruel lie.”

“I blame me.”

“But when you realized the truth,” Abby said, “you risked your life to get her back. Shouldn’t you give that equal time in your thinking?”

There was a long moment of dead air.

“Jay, you still there?”

“I’m here.”

“Well, shouldn’t you?” Abby asked.

“I guess so. Easier said than done.”

“Well, I’m going to help you keep it in its proper perspective.”

“Abby … can I see you tomorrow? I know this is bad timing with everyone waiting for news about Ella … or should I say Riley Jo?”

“Everyone in my family is saying Riley Jo now. But the sheriff can’t until the DNA results prove it. Thankfully, they took a mouth swab before she disappeared again.”

“I feel isolated out here,” Jay said. “Can I see you?”

“I don’t know why not. But I don’t think I should go very far from home while we’re waiting for a call from the sheriff.”

“I’m not ready to face your mother yet.”

“She wants to see you. But I agree that now is not the right time.”

“Where do you wanna meet, then?” Jay said.

“How about on the bench under the sycamore tree? Mama never walks down there. It’s a good place to talk, and I can also hear Mama’s whistle if something important happens.”

“Okay, what time?”

“Ten?”

“Great. I want to tell you about one really good thing that’s come out of this, but I don’t want to tell you over the phone. I’ll see you then.”

“Jay, wait … in all the craziness of today, I’m not sure I even thanked you for going after Riley Jo.”

“By all standards, it was a really dumb thing to do.”

“It worked,” Abby said. “And you risked your life when you didn’t have to.”

“It was the least I could do.”

“No. It was the most you could do.”

“I’m no hero, Abby.”

“You are to me.”

Abby let the truth of her words sink into the quiet moment that followed.

Finally she said, “I’ll see you in the morning. Be careful. I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m probably being paranoid, but you’re the only one who saw Isaiah with Riley Jo when Daddy was shot. Your testimony holds a lot of weight. Maybe whoever took Riley Jo from her foster home isn’t too happy about that.”