Midnight Secrets

chapter

SIXTEEN


Hands pressed against the wall of the shower, Zach let hot water gush over his head as the memories he had squashed for the past few hours returned full force. Savannah had been within seconds of climax. He had felt her pulsing against him, had heard the soft hitch in her breath—something he remembered from past experience. Just before she came, she would release the softest and sweetest little gasp. He could get hard just thinking about that small delicate sound.

He’d almost had what he had been longing and dreaming about for years. But with that one phone call, everything had come to a screeching halt. Not only had it been painful for both of them to stop, he knew full well they were going to have to start all over again. Just how long would it take to get back to that place? Who knew, but he wasn’t going to stop until they both got what they wanted.

The hell of it was, the untimely interruption had been all for nothing. The vandals at Miller’s Feed and Seed weren’t the same people. Not only had they caused more damage than was typical of the other vandalisms, the idiots hadn’t noticed the camera in the corner recording every move they made. Now two teenagers were locked up, their parents were furious, and Zach was no closer to catching the other idiots than he was before.

He hadn’t slept but that wasn’t an issue. As an Army Ranger, he’d gone for a couple of days or more without sleep. Didn’t mean he would be in a good mood, though. Sleep deprivation combined with an unquenched thirst for Savannah just made him doubly pissed.

He turned off the shower and grabbed a towel. Drying off quickly, Zach was dressed and headed out the door in a matter of minutes. Going by to check on Savannah before he went to work was probably not a good idea. She was most likely still asleep. And if she wasn’t, it meant she hadn’t slept well. The reason she might have had difficulty sleeping was one of the reasons he wanted to see her. If he could clear the air as soon as possible, maybe he could regain some of the ground he’d lost last night when he’d walked out the door.

No, he wasn’t stupid. He knew they had a lot more to get through than that one event. However, he did owe her an apology. If there was one thing the past had taught him, it was to own up to his mistakes. And he had one major one to make up to Savannah. Question was, would she let him?

After another hour of tossing and turning, sleeping only a few moments at a time, Savannah gave up. It was close to eight o’clock and all she had to show for it was a headache and a severely overheated body. Too bad she couldn’t blame it on the hot temperature outside, but since the thermostat was set at a cool seventy-two degrees and she’d yet to step outside, she knew the weather wasn’t the issue. Zach Tanner was the problem. Last night he had awakened feelings and emotions she had successfully squelched for years. And now they were back and had apparently brought along some risqué friends. Never had she had such erotic dreams.

Sitting at the kitchen table, Savannah sipped her second cup of coffee and tried not to stare at the wall Zach had pressed her up against last night. She’d been two seconds away from climaxing when his cellphone rang. She didn’t blame him for answering the call and leaving. That was his job. No, she blamed herself for being in that position in the first place. How many times had she sworn that if she ever saw Zach Tanner again, she would tell him exactly what she thought of him? Instead she’d kissed him like there was no tomorrow and had almost gone to bed with him.

Savannah still remembered the bewilderment she had felt when he didn’t show up that morning. She’d known he was having breakfast with his family, but he had promised to stop by before he left town at noon. At eleven-fifteen, after getting no answer to the numerous voice-mail messages she’d left him, she had swallowed her pride and gone to his house. His mother had greeted her at the door but hadn’t invited her inside. She had said Zach had left early that morning. She’d told Savannah he wasn’t coming back and that she should forget about ever seeing him again.

In shocked denial, Savannah had stood on the tiny, worn porch of Zach’s house, shaking her head in disbelief. Only hours before, she had given him her heart and her body, and Zach had given her his promise. She had been wearing that promise on her finger. No way had the woman been telling the truth.

The hurt had been crushing but Savannah had refused to give up. One week went by and then another. Her grandfather had offered to contact him. Had even gone so far as obtaining the phone number where she would be able to leave a message for him. Savannah hadn’t wanted to use it. Though the hope faded with each passing week, pride and hurt prevented her from making the call. Then came the day when she’d had no choice. She had made the call. Five calls in three days. He hadn’t returned any of them.

On that last call, when she had hung up the phone, she had accepted it was over. Whatever had changed Zach’s mind about them no longer mattered. She had locked the promise ring away and her heart as well.

If only that had been the end. She soon learned that there were different degrees of pain and heartache and they could come in stages. Some were like the tide: they came and then drifted away, leaving residue but no real destruction. Others came and stayed, became a part of who you were—as much a part of you as muscle, blood, and bone. That kind of pain changed you, developed you … could almost destroy you if you let it. She had almost let it.

The doorbell rang. Even with all the visitors over the last few days, she already knew it was Zach. He would want to know how she was, apologize for having to walk away. He might even expect that they could start up where they’d left off.

There was no point in denying the truth. Something deep within her still felt a strong connection and bond with Zach. And judging by his demeanor since her return, he felt something, too. Lust and nothing more? Who knew.

Feeling much older than her twenty-eight years, Savannah made her way toward the front door. If she ignored him, he wouldn’t give up. Might as well face the tiger now.

She didn’t know what to expect when she opened the door to Zach, but it wasn’t a man holding a large bouquet of red roses and a tender look of apology that should melt any woman’s heart. She wished she could say she was immune.

“I just wanted to drop by before I headed off to work. I’m sorry about last night.”

Telling him it wouldn’t happen again was the sensible and rational thing to say. Unfortunately, when it came to Zach, sensible and rational weren’t part of her emotional vocabulary.

With a small smile, Savannah took the flowers he held out for her and sniffed them appreciatively. “Thank you, but that wasn’t necessary. What happened on the call? Was it the same guys, you think?”

He shook his head. “Just two bored kids out for some kicks. Security cameras caught it all.”

“So, when’s our next stakeout?”

Though Zach was often hard to read, she saw relief in his eyes. And since she had seen through his ploy early on, she knew it wasn’t because he really needed her help.

“How about next Tuesday night?”

“Works for me. See you then.”

She went to close the door, but Zach placed his palm on the door, stopping her. “I know we need to talk … get everything out in the open.”

Yes, they did. But not right now. With her lack of sleep, if they talked today, she’d go beyond the basket-case stage into full nuclear meltdown. Still, it had to be done. “How about tomorrow night?”

He shook his head. “I’m on duty Sunday and Monday night.”

“Sounds like Tuesday would be best for that, too, then.”

He looked as though he wanted to say something else, but finally nodded his head and stepped back.

Savannah whispered, “Thanks for the flowers,” then closed the door.

Sunday morning in Midnight meant one of three things. One either went to the Baptist church on Harper’s Drive, the Methodist church on Beechum Road, or the nondenominational church over on the bypass. As her granddad used to say, “Midnight is full of sinners. Come Sunday morning, if you’re not in church, you’re going to be the subject of the gossipers, so you might as well go and cut down on their fun.”

Her grandfather had been a regular at the Baptist church, but Aunt Gibby was Methodist through and through. After her parents died, Savannah and her sisters had alternated between the two churches. Gibby had insisted that they needed the diversity of both denominations, and Daniel hadn’t argued.

Savannah closed the car door behind her aunt and followed her into the large foyer. Returning to church here felt familiar and comfortable. The minister was the same one as when she was a kid, the pianist played the same songs, and the song leader had the same nasal tone she remembered from long ago.

Gibby liked to sit on the front pew. And Savannah was treated to more than a few whispers and speculative stares as she walked beside her aunt. Even with a job that was often in the public eye, she still didn’t like to call attention to herself. This wasn’t the worst part, though. That would come after the service. Years ago, the leading members of the Methodist and Baptist churches had made the decision to unite as one congregation once a month for a Sunday social. When the non-denominational church had started up about fifteen years ago, they had wisely invited them to participate. It was a tradition that everyone seemed to enjoy. Not only did you get some of the best Southern cooking in Alabama, but you could also pick up the latest gossip you might have missed. Though the subject of the gossipers was often in attendance, their presence rarely stopped the talk. You just had to lean closer to hear the juiciest parts.

As the old familiar songs were sung, Savannah couldn’t help but remember the many times she and her sisters had sat beside her parents on a Sunday morning just like this. Sunlight on the stained-glass windows gave them an almost ethereal glow, making the worship service seem even more reverent. Feeling an odd ease within her, she turned her attention to the service, hoping for comfort and solace for what she would soon face with Zach.

She was so immersed in the uplifting sermon, it wasn’t until she stood at the end of the service to sing the closing song that she knew the identity of the person who had come in late and sat behind her. The deep baritone was unmistakable. Years ago, Zach had kept her entertained and in stitches as he parodied some of the popular rock songs on the radio. And though the song they sang now certainly wasn’t a parody, Savannah had no trouble recognizing the deep masculine voice.

Tempted to turn around, she resisted the urge. Pretending he wasn’t there was her best bet. She should have known Aunt Gibby wouldn’t cooperate. The moment the service was over and they stepped into the aisle, Gibby exclaimed, “Chief Tanner, it’s about time you graced us with a visit. I thought those Baptists had snared you for sure.”

The too-infrequent smile lit up Zach’s face. “Actually, I just go there to keep an eye on them. I figured y’all had it all together over here.”

Gibby cackled. “You got that right.” She winked at Savannah and grabbed her arm. “Let’s get out of here as soon as possible so we can snag a good spot at the park.”

Knowing many eyes were on her, Savannah gave Zach what she thought was a cool but pleasant smile of acknowledgment and then led Gibby down the aisle toward the entrance.

* * *

Zach blew out a ragged sigh as he watched Savannah walk away. The wariness was back and he cursed himself for letting that happen. He should have figured out a way to see her last night so they could have had the discussion that needed to take place. Now he felt as if he was starting at square one, right where he’d been the first day of her return.

“It’s so nice to see you here, Chief. Are you going to the social?”

The sugary sweetness of Lindsay Milan’s voice gave Zach chills. There was such a desperate neediness to her tone. When she grabbed his arm and tightened her fingernails into his skin, he had to grit his teeth not to jerk away.

His mind on the beautiful woman who had just left, Zach nodded an acknowledgment and pulled away gently. “Mrs. Milan.”

Lindsay was having none of it. She held tight to his arm and asked the same question, only louder: “You going to the social, Chief?”

Something in her tone grabbed him. Pulling his thoughts away from Savannah, he took a moment to assess the woman still hanging on to his arm. Dark circles shadowed worried-looking eyes.

“Let’s go, Lindsay.”

The growling voice came from Carl Dayton, Lindsay and Clark’s father. Zach had had few dealings with the older Dayton. He was a not-so-successful farmer whose wife had left him years ago. Rumor was that she had finally gotten up the courage to leave him after years of abuse. Was Lindsay getting the same treatment? There was no proof that anything like that was going on, and coming right out and asking would only cause problems. However, he couldn’t ignore the possibility.

Well aware he might pay for this later, he turned back to Lindsay and said, “Actually, I am going to the social. Would you like to ride with me?”

Relief and something like gratitude gleamed in her expression. She nodded eagerly and held on to his arm tighter.

Carl gave a seemingly warning glare to Lindsay before he walked away.

“Thank you, Zach,” she whispered.

“What’s going on? Are you in trouble?”

“I—”

“Zach Tanner, as I live and breathe. I thought it’d take handcuffs and a gun to get you inside this church.”

They both turned as Reverend Simmons practically shouted at him. Zach couldn’t blame him. Not only had the man taken every opportunity to invite him to attend services, the minister was almost totally deaf. Shouting was the norm for him.

Grinning, Zach shook the man’s hand and exchanged small talk. All the while, he kept a close eye on Lindsay. Something was definitely going on with her. When one of the parishioners interrupted them, Zach took the chance to walk away, Lindsay at his side.

More than aware of the whispers and sideways glances of those they passed, Zach made it outside without anyone else stopping him. He stopped abruptly when he saw Savannah in the parking lot with her aunt, helping her into the car. In that instant, she looked up and saw him. He watched as her eyes shifted to Lindsay, whose hand was still on his arm, then her face stilled and became expressionless.

For the first time in a long while, Zach felt helpless. Every time he made any kind of progress with her, something happened to diminish it.

With the knowledge that there was nothing he could do right now, he walked with Lindsay to his car. Knowing that others could still hear them, he waited until they were both in the car, then said, “Okay, what the hell’s going on?”

Seeing Lindsay Milan’s hand on Zach’s arm as if she had a claim on him cut Savannah deep. She had believed he was sincere, that he still had feelings for her. Was she being a fool once again?

“You’re not worried about that one, are you?”

Aunt Gibby’s voice broke into her thoughts. Savannah hadn’t even realized she was just sitting in the driver’s seat, staring out the window. She started the engine and backed out of the parking lot. Thankfully, as was usual with Gibby, responding to her questions wasn’t necessary.

“Sure, she’s pretty. But honey, Zach hasn’t looked at a woman since he got back in town. And now that you’re home, he can’t look at anybody else.”

“Aunt Gibby, don’t. That was over a long time ago.”

“Oh, I know you both think it was, but when you’re in love, it’s never truly over.”

Gibby had never married. Savannah didn’t know much about her aunt’s younger days, but the way she had made that statement made her think that Gibby knew all about lost love. Not wanting to pry, Savannah shook her head and said, “What we had wasn’t real love.”

As if she hadn’t spoken, Gibby continued, “You know, your granddaddy wanted to hunt Zach down and skin him alive for breaking your heart.”

She wasn’t surprised. Her granddad had been up close and personal with her heartache. Had held her while she cried, been with her every step of the way. Even the peace-loving Daniel Wilde must have wanted to exact vengeance against the man who’d broken his granddaughter’s heart and spirit.

“I think he even went to see Zach’s mama.”

“Really? When? He never told me.”

As if she hadn’t heard her, Gibby went on. “Course, when I asked him what happened, he got all secretive like he did on occasion. Hated when that happened.”

“He never told you anything about the visit?”

“Nope, but he seemed to calm down after that.” She glanced at her watch and said, “We’d better get going or all the good sittin’ spots will be gone.”

Savannah drove the short distance to the Midnight community park and pondered on Gibby’s revelations. Her grandfather had never mentioned going to see Zach’s mother. What had he learned that made him “calm down” about Zach?

Suddenly she was exasperated with herself. Why the hell did she still not know why he had left town without saying goodbye? Or why hadn’t he contacted her until months later? She had been here a week and had seen Zach almost every day since her return. On one of those occasions, why hadn’t she just asked him outright? Or let him talk instead of cutting him off? When had she become such a coward?

She discounted the opportunity she’d had years ago. When Zach had finally contacted her months later, she’d been emotionally raw. Too much had happened. She had deemed it too little, too late, and had refused to speak to him, just wanting to forget.

Learning the truth now wouldn’t change the pain of the past, but she deserved to know. And Zach deserved an opportunity to explain.

Three long rows of picnic tables sat beneath giant oaks: four tables of casseroles, vegetables, and meats, two for tea, lemonade, and soda, and three tables filled with breads and desserts. It was a massive amount of food, but since the majority of the town’s citizens would eat here today, Savannah knew that within an hour the tables would be almost bare.

After settling Gibby into a lawn chair beneath a shade tree, Savannah stepped around blankets and running children as she made her way to the tables. She was greeted by everyone she passed, with either a smile, a wave, or a “Welcome home, Savannah.”

Deciding what to put on Gibby’s plate was easy. She loved casseroles and, other than turnip greens and collards, hated anything remotely green. With a plate loaded with what she knew were her aunt’s favorites, Savannah turned to the beverage table and almost ran over Zach.

“Whoa, that’s a lot of food.”

Unable to raise her head higher than his chest, she stretched her lips into a semblance of a smile and nodded. “Gibby’s hungry.”

A callused finger caressed the edge of her jaw and then settled on her chin to tilt her head up. “Can I see you later today?”

Despite the ninety-degree temperature, Savannah shivered. Zach’s voice had gone low and intimate, as if they were the only two people in the world. She examined his handsome face, seeing honest sincerity and absolutely no secrets. Unwillingly her gaze shifted to the woman a few feet behind him, putting food on a plate. Lindsay Milan had obviously come to the picnic with him. Was he dating her? Was Zach low enough to ask her out while he was at an event with another woman?

Zach surprised her by reading her thoughts. “We’re not dating.”

She believed him. With the exception of that one significant time, Zach had never given her any cause to doubt his honor. However, she wanted to be clear on what she expected.

“I have questions I want answered.”

“I’ll give them to you. I promise.”

He shouldn’t have used those words. The last time he’d made a promise, her life had fallen apart.

And again, Zach read her perfectly. “Okay, bad choice of words. Give me a chance to explain, Savannah. Please.”

“I thought you had to work.”

“I do, but I take my dinner break at six.”

“I’ll see you then.” Turning away, she grabbed a sweet tea from the table and strode rapidly to Gibby. Thinking that her aunt would complain about it taking so long, Savannah was relieved when she took the plate and said, “Thank you, sweetie, that looks wonderful. Now, you go off and get yours before it’s all gone.”

Though nerves were jumping in her stomach like manic crickets, she did as she was told. Again she stopped on the way to visit with those she hadn’t seen since her grandfather’s funeral. Answering questions about herself and her sisters took considerable time, so by the time she returned with her own plate, Gibby was holding court with several women surrounding her. Savannah didn’t know all of them and felt comfortable sitting a little away from the group and halfway listening as she picked at her meal.

The talk she and Zach had put off for almost ten years would happen tonight. Would she be able to talk about everything? Was she ready? For self-protection, she hadn’t allowed herself to think about that time in her life in years. Dwelling on what might have been, the grief, the pain … accomplished nothing.

“Savannah Rose, I do believe I’m ready to go home and take a nap.”

Savannah stood and gathered up Gibby’s belongings, along with the lawn chairs they’d brought with them. As she expected, Gibby didn’t leave without visiting a half dozen people on the way to the car. Standing by her side, waiting, Savannah took in the scene. Men and women of all ages were sitting or standing in small groups, laughing, talking, and eating. Teenagers played softball in the small ball park, and yards away, older men threw horseshoes and played croquet. Young children played hide-and-seek, staying close by, where mothers and fathers could keep an eye on them.

It was a picturesque and almost poetic-looking scene. How many towns had Sunday socials anymore? Growing up in this kind of environment had made her take it for granted. Now, with new eyes, she could appreciate the sheer simplicity of small-town closeness. Yes, they gossiped and complained about one another, but they had something most big cities had lost. They had community.

Brown eyes twinkling, Aunt Gibby gave her a knowing smile. “Now, admit it. You had a good time today.”

Savannah laughed. “It may not have been as agonizing as I thought it would be.”

“Midnight isn’t perfect but we have our good points.”

Leaning over, she kissed Gibby’s soft, wrinkled cheek. “And you’re one of the best.”

A blush colored the elderly woman’s face to a rosy glow. “I miss having you girls close by.”

A wave of guilt hit Savannah. After she left for college, her visits had been rare and short. Her sisters had visited much more often than she had. Returning to all the old memories and pain had been too difficult. Suddenly she wished she had been braver, less self-absorbed. Gibby had been a huge part of her life when she was growing up, and Savannah felt as though she had abandoned her.

“I’m sorry, Aunt Gibby. I’ll try to come back more often. I promise.”

She patted Savannah’s hand. “Thank you, child. That would be wonderful. Now take me home so I can take my nap.”

As they drove away, Savannah glanced up in the rearview mirror and swallowed a gasp. Kyle Ingram stood only a few feet away from the rear of her car. The look of longing in his eyes was a startling and uneasy reminder. Midnight might be much more pleasant than what she remembered, but the town had its share of oddities. Kyle was most likely just reminiscing about her mother, but the gleam of adoration she’d glimpsed in his eyes sent chills up her spine. She had seen too many unbalanced people in her career not to recognize the symptoms. There was something not quite right with Kyle Ingram.