Marriage Matters

Forty

Kevin lowered himself into the gondola. It swayed from side to side in the water and sank slightly underneath his weight. “I’m gonna capsize this thing,” he said, pulling Kristine in close.

“If you do,” she said, “I’ll jump in and save you.”

“I’m almost tempted,” he teased, “just to see how you’d haul me back in.”

The gondola driver, dressed in the traditional black-and-white-striped shirt and straw hat, pushed the boat away from the dock and they drifted onto the canal. Kristine breathed in the sultry aroma of the sea and snuggled even closer into the crook of Kevin’s arm. The gondola ride was the perfect way to end their time in Venice, even though she was incredibly sad that it was over.

It had been so passionate, so romantic. After that first night, she and Kevin stayed in the hotel room for three days straight, only venturing out to grab food at quaint little cafes on the water. Then they went straight back to each other’s arms. They made love in that glorious bed, the gigantic tub in the bathroom and on the balcony overlooking the canal, the stars of Venice shining above them.

Late at night they talked for hours, touching on topics they hadn’t delved into in years: their feelings about getting older, their daughter’s remarkable ambition, their hopes for the future. Kristine explained how lonely and disconnected she’d been feeling, with Kevin always on the road. He made a vow to try and spend the little time they had together at home with her, doing something special. He even promised to spend time at the store.

Kristine’s heart had not been this full in years. She felt that they had finally reconnected on the levels that mattered so desperately to their marriage. The memory of all that had pushed them apart seemed very far away.

As they floated down the water, they passed buildings that were centuries old. Her favorites were the ones with the ornate loggias, because they reminded her of miniature castles. Everything around them seemed so beautiful, even the algae creeping up the base of the buildings. Bright green, it was the canal’s version of a tree-lined street.

“I can’t think of anything that would make this more perfect,” she said.

As if on cue, the Rialto Bridge loomed into sight. The sun was setting and pinks and purples streaked across the sky. The color, coupled with the burnt orange of the rooftops off in the distance, emphasized the pure white of the stone bridge. The portico at the top was lit like a cathedral.

As they approached the bridge, the gondola driver started to sing. His voice lilted through the night as easily as the laps of the oar against the water. Joy bubbled up in Kristine and she turned to kiss her husband once again.

“So . . .” Kevin’s hand brushed her face. “I’ve been thinking a lot this week. About how much I love you. And how little I’ve done to show it in the past few years.”

The song the gondola driver was singing hit a crescendo and they cruised under the cool shade of the bridge. She could hear the tourists above them, laughing and talking in the evening. “Kevin, it’s okay. Let’s not—”

“We should have celebrated our anniversary,” he insisted. “We should have been together. I’ve just been so . . .” He shook his head. “Look, I’m a hard worker. You know that. And when I lost my job and couldn’t find another one, it scared the shit out of me. I don’t ever want to be in that position again.”

Kristine touched his hand. “It was the economy. Not you.”

“Yeah, but . . .” He gazed at her. “My job is my job, Kris. You’re my life.” The gondola floated out from under the bridge, back into the open water. Gently, he brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. “We made it twenty-five years. It was so stupid to not celebrate that with you.”

Kristine swallowed hard, thinking back on that night. “I wanted so badly to be with you,” she whispered, reaching up and touching his soft cheeks.

“I know I pissed you off with that IOU . . .” He smiled. “But hopefully, this will make up for it.”

Reaching into the pocket of his fleece, he pulled out a navy leather box and flipped it open. There, cradled against white satin, was the most beautiful diamond ring Kristine had ever seen. Tiny, antique and surrounded by ornate gold, it sparkled in the light from the lamps at the edge of the water.

“Happy anniversary, Firecracker.” Shyly, Kevin handed her the ring. “I love you.”

Up until that moment, Kristine thought diamonds didn’t matter to her. That she would rather have pieces of jewelry that were exotic and ornate, crafted in some place far from home. But staring down at this perfect, gleaming piece that her husband had picked out for her, she changed her mind.

“Hurry, put it on,” Kevin joked, indicating the murky water. “I don’t want to hit a speed bump and have you drop it or anything.”

The gondola was cruising along at maybe two miles an hour.

Kristine laughed. “I think we’re gonna be just fine.” Still, he reached over and helped to slide the ring onto her finger.

“Over twenty-five years ago,” he said, taking her hand in a way that seemed oddly formal, “I gave you an engagement ring and later, a wedding ring. In honor of that time, I have a question for you.” Taking a deep breath, he said, “Kristine, will you renew your vows with me?”

Kristine blinked. “You want to renew our vows?”

“Yeah. I thought it might be . . .” Kevin looked at her. His eyes were the exact color of the water. “Meaningful. You know?”

The gondola driver finished his song. The night suddenly seemed a little too quiet. Kristine looked down at the ring, blood pounding inside of her ears. She felt herself begin to panic.

This week with Kevin had been wonderful. It had been perfect. But it had been a vacation.

What would happen when they got home? In spite of their conversations and the promises they’d made, maybe nothing had changed between them. And if this new intimacy couldn’t sustain, if everything slipped back to how it was, she would be more brokenhearted than ever. Trying to find the words to explain this, she choked up. “Kevin . . .”

His face clouded over. “You don’t want to?”

“I would love to.” She shook her head, cradling the hand with her new ring. “It’s such a romantic, wonderful idea but I’m just afraid that we’d be doing it for the wrong reasons.”

“I’m in love with you,” he said. “I have been in love with you since the moment I first saw you. Is there a better reason than that?”

“No, but . . .” Kristine gripped the edge of the boat. “I only want to do this if we can stay like this. Be together again like this. Not just plan to renew our vows and hope everything gets better.”

Kevin sat in silence, staring out at the water. Another gondola passed with an older couple snuggled up together, drinking from plastic cups filled with champagne. They seemed like they didn’t have a care in the world.

The muscle in Kevin’s jaw pulsed. “Kristine, do you love me?”

“Of course I do. Why do you think I’m so upset that we never spend any time together?”

“I love you, too.” His voice was earnest. “More than anything in this world.” Turning to the gondola driver, he said, “Buddy, will you please sing something?” The gondola driver seemed confused, so Kevin belted out, “When the moon hits a guy, like a big pizza pie . . .”

“Bene, bene,” the driver cried. With renewed vigor, he started to sing.

Kevin grasped her hands. “Kris, I love you.” His eyes burned as brightly as the lights along the shore. “I have been in love with you from that first moment I saw you standing there on the deck, wrapped up in that big, ol’ ugly sweatshirt. We were both young and innocent and had no idea what we were in for. It’s been a ride and it hasn’t always been easy. But we built a family together.”

Kristine nodded, feeling the warmth of his hands. They felt as familiar as her own, as much of a part of her body as his. The gondola driver sang louder, his voice carrying through the night.

“I know we have some things to figure out,” he said. “I know that our relationship isn’t perfect. But I want to grow old with you. Yes, I might get wrinkled and craggy and forget who I am and what this life has meant, but I will never forget that the most important person on the planet is the one sitting right in front of me. I love you, Kris. Let’s promise to stay in this thing. Together.”

There was nothing she wanted more than to believe that it was possible to have a love that would last forever. Yes, the past few years had been hard. But that was no excuse to give up.

Feeling her heart swell, she found herself nodding. “Yes,” she said, grabbing her husband’s hands and holding them tight. “Let’s renew our vows.”