Chapter SEVEN
THEY’D had three lovely weeks since Jack had told her about his parents, thought Liz as she watched open-day activity at the fire station. Two weeks since the lunch at the lake. Jack was still extraordinarily watchful of her. The days had fall en into a pattern. Almost like old times. Almost better than old times.
Except for two big things.
Their sleeping arrangements, for one. They were still in separate rooms. Trying to decide what to do about that caused her disproportionate angst so she resolutely refused to let her mind linger on the subject.
The other big thing was her. She blew out a small breath. How could two weeks make such a difference to the way she felt physically? She was waddling, slip-on shoes were a must. And thank goodness for the warmer days because she didn’t need to wear pantyhose for work. The only problem was she really needed to make an appointment to have her legs waxed.
Not that Jack seemed inclined to look at them. The only thing he looked at was what she was doing and whether she was resting enough. She grimaced, aware her thoughts made her seem like a petulant child.
She didn’t dare complain about how she was feeling. With Jack already worried about the delivery, he’d have her locked up in an operating theatre with an obstetrician stationed outside the door if she voiced even the smallest doubt. He put a good face on his concerns, but she could still sense them. Someone or something had affected him very deeply. His mother? Janet seemed the most likely source of his irrational fear.
Liz rubbed her back absent-mindedly. Had she done the right thing by not asking him to the prenatal classes? She’d wrestled with her conscience, but had convinced herself the classes would only give him more to worry about. A little bit of knowledge was dangerous.
But the trite saying wasn’t giving her the comfort she’d managed to wring from it for the last fortnight. The truth was, knowledge was usually the best way to combat fear.
So now she had to squarely face the reason she didn’t want him at the classes. Fear of her own vulnerability. Part of her longed to get closer to her husband, desperately wanted him to hold her, to tell her she was still desirable to him.
The other part wanted to keep some distance between them, to protect herself in case things didn’t work out. Jack was making all the right sounds and he had broken down walls between them by opening up about his past. But there was still no guarantee he’d be able to take that next step to being an involved father.
Then there were the classes themselves. The intimacy between the couples was beautiful…but unnerving. Just the thought of sharing those moments with Jack was nearly enough to have her ready to spontaneously combust. Having him touch her hand or arm or back sent thrills racing up her spine these days. Imagine him at the classes with his hands on her belly, helping her do the exercises. Or rubbing her lower back, or her thighs.
She shut her eyes as a wave of heat engulfed her.
‘Shouldn’t you be sitting down?’
‘Jack!’ The heat flowed straight up to her face, threatening to scorch the skin with its intensity. ‘You gave me a fright.’
‘I’ll give you more than that if you don’t start being more sensible,’ he growled, examining her closely. ‘You’re flushed. Have you been overdoing it?’
‘No. Yes. Um, maybe I’ve had a little too much sun,’ she said latching onto the idea, thankful that it would explain any redness in her face. Her lustful thoughts were nobody’s business but her own.
‘Hmm. I’ve got a talk to give the kids before lunch. Come and help me.’ He reached for her hand. The action of his fingers slipping between hers focussed her feverish attention on the sensitive skin there. She couldn’t have mustered an argument. ‘That way I can keep an eye on you.’
She allowed herself to be towed into the fire station where thick matting on the concrete floor served as makeshift seating for a group of children. Parents sat in fold-up chairs at the back.
‘Hi, kids,’ said Jack, commanding their attention. ‘Who’s here for a fire safety talk?’
A chorus of enthusiastic replies greeted him.
‘Fantastic. I’m Jack and this is my helper, Dr Liz. She’s going to sit here.’ He winked at her as he escorted her to a seat at the front. ‘Right by the uniforms so she can help with buttons and things for those who want to dress up a bit later.’
For the next half an hour, Liz watched in amazement as Jack taught the children about fire safety and put them through their paces with practical exercises. He was so comfortable in the role that it couldn’t be an act. She’d known in theory that part of his job before he’d gone overseas had been visiting local schools, talking to students. His lessons were given at their level of understanding. He wasn’t talking down to them.
And they were responding to him with obvious enjoyment.
She should be ecstatic about this unexpected side to him. So why wasn’t she? What was wrong with her? Far from being reassured, she felt oddly bothered by it. If he was like this with his own child then he’d be a fantastic parent. Probably a better one than she would be. She frowned.
She couldn’t be competitive about this, could she? Her ambivalence was frightening.
At the end of the session the children were given the opportunity to dress up in firemen’s uniforms and sit in the big pumper parked on the station’s apron. Liz watched as Jack helped a girl of about six into a bright orange overall, chatting to her as he rolled up the excess material of the sleeves. He looked gorgeous in his dark blue uniform pants with the braces hooked over his shoulders. Liz’s breath caught as he lifted the yellow helmet off his head. He set it at a jaunty angle on the girl’s blonde curls before he hoisted the grinning child into the cabin with the other children. Liz found her lips curving spontaneously. Jack’s smile, as he caught her eye, was brilliant.
She swallowed, blinking away the sudden tears that threatened. Hormones. It must be the pregnancy making her feel so strange. She turned her attention to a tot dragging a heavy jacket across the mat.
‘You’re very good with the kids,’ she said a short time later when the crowd had dispersed. Even to her own ears it sounded more like an accusation than a commendation. She cleared her throat and tried to soften her tone. ‘They like you.’
‘Do you think so? Thanks. Ready for lunch, Dr Liz?’ He grabbed her hand in a warm clasp. ‘That barbecue is smelling pretty good to me.’
‘Sure.’ She let him lead her across to the shaded lawn, but food was the furthest thing from her mind. ‘I didn’t realise you’d spent much time around them.’
‘Hmm?’
‘Kids. I didn’t realise you’d spent much time around children.’
‘I took Monster Management 101 with Danny.’ He slanted her a grin as they neared the barbecue. ‘We go out to the schools quite often. You know that. How about I find you somewhere to sit and get lunch for both of us?’
‘You never told me how much you enjoyed it.’ His dismissal of this side of himself, as though it was nothing out of character, irritated her.
He stopped to look down at her, his forehead creasing into a frown. ‘Are you mad with me, Liz?’
‘No, of course not.’ But she was for some reason, she realised as she fidgeted under his gaze.
‘Jack! Liz!’ a cheery voice hailed them. Liz looked past Jack to see Danny’s wife, Sarah, waving at them from her spot under a sturdy old oak tree. ‘Bring your lunch over here and sit with us. There’s plenty of room.’
The odd moment of tension eased and Liz was glad to have an excuse to move away. Glad, too, that she didn’t have to try to explain her attitude. How could she when she couldn’t understand it herself?
Forcing her lips to smile, she waved back with her free hand. She started to move towards them, but Jack didn’t release her immediately. She stopped, turning slightly to meet his eyes. His wry expression told her he knew she was running away from him rather than eager to socialise with their friends.
One corner of his mouth quirked. ‘What a good idea,’ he murmured. ‘Why don’t you join them? I’ll get us something to eat. Do you want salad?’
‘Yes. Please. Thanks.’
Sarah handed her a spare cushion as she reached the edge of the rug. Liz lowered herself and rested her back on the tree trunk beside Sarah and watched while Danny chased after his two-year-old daughter, Suzy.
‘I’m going to have my work cut out for me once Suzy’s brother arrives.’ Sarah patted her stomach. ‘She’s a handful on her own.’
Liz smiled as she watched the child charging in the opposite direction to her father. ‘Don’t you talk about my favourite toddler like that.’
‘I should rent her out to you for a while so you can see what you’re letting yourself in for.’ Sarah sighed. ‘She’s running me ragged at the moment.’
Liz looked at her friend sharply, noting the circles under her eyes, the puffy hands and the way her sandal straps cut into her feet.
‘How have you been feeling?’
‘Are you asking as my friend or my doctor?’
‘Both. But if you’ll feel happier I’ll put aside my Dr Liz hat for a few minutes.’ Jack’s nickname made her serious statement sound friendlier and not too intrusive.
‘Dr Liz, huh?’ Sarah smiled in appreciation.
‘Jack’s idea.’
‘I like it. You must be pleased to have him back home.’
‘Hmm.’ Liz watched as her husband approached, balancing two laden plates and carrying the esky they’d dropped off earlier. ‘Dr Liz wants to see you in her office early next week, okay?’
‘All right.’
‘Thank you.’ She took the proffered meal from Jack. He dropped down beside her on the rug, propping himself on his elbow as he munched on a bread-covered sausage and onions.
‘Will we see you at the antenatal class this week, Jack?’ asked Sarah. ‘It’s a shame you couldn’t get to the earlier ones. Understandable, though. With work. And jet-lag can leave you feeling like a limp rag for ages, can’t it?’
Liz winced, chewing doggedly on a piece of meat that had suddenly turned to indigestible leather. So much for the benefits of lunching with friends.
‘It sure can.’ Jack gave her a bland look.
Encouraged, Sarah went on, ‘I hope you’ll be coming now you’ve recovered.’
Danny joined them a few minutes later with Suzy balanced on his shoulders. Liz hoped that might be enough to distract Sarah.
‘I felt quite sorry for Liz, being the only one there on her own. You’re not one of those men that thinks it’s sissy to come to the classes, are you?’
‘I—’
‘Danny’s coming even though it’s our second, aren’t you, darling?’ Sarah patted his arm. ‘It’s good to have a refresher. Even Liz is there and she’s a doctor—but as I explained to her when I talked her into coming to the classes, it helps to know what to expect afterwards as well. And you could do with the classes. You don’t know anything about changing a nappy, do you?’
Liz stared as a strange spasm crossed Jack’s face. Did he know about changing nappies? But how could he?
Luckily, Sarah didn’t need any input from either of them as she swept on. ‘Well, you don’t want to be one of those men who doesn’t have a clue, do you?’
‘I certainly don’t, do I?’ he said benignly, raising an eyebrow at Liz. ‘What night are these classes, Sarah?’
‘Thursday.’
‘Ah, Thursday. Silly me. I thought Liz had worked late that night.’ His smile made Liz feel like a hapless mouse being toyed with by a particularly ferocious tomcat.
‘I did. Work late.’ She cleared her throat, the words seeming to stick on the way out. ‘And, um, I went straight to the class because I knew you were tired.’
‘Ah. Considerate of you. I’m glad you explained. It’s good to have everything out in the open between us, isn’t it, sweetheart? Especially at a time like this. Honesty is so important.’
‘You know, you are so right, Jack,’ gushed Sarah, missing the undercurrents and saving Liz from the necessity of answering him. ‘I suppose you’ve done the basic delivery course, have you? Like Danny has through the emergency services? Still, when it’s your own it’s all a bit different.’
‘Absolutely,’ Jack purred. ‘I’ll definitely be there on Thursday. Liz will make sure. Won’t you, darling?’