Living Dangerously

Chapter Twenty-One



Sunlight streamed through the window and woke Julie. Still wrapped in Troy’s arms, she breathed in his scent and the sex that lingered on the sheets. She stretched and snuck out of bed to brush her teeth and run a brush through her hair. Just because he’d seen her at her worst in the hospital and on the road during the trip here didn’t mean she liked it. After a quick freshen up, she tiptoed into the kitchen and made coffee for Troy and tea for herself. Then she grabbed the doughnuts they’d bought yesterday and took everything to the bedroom.

Troy stirred under the sheets and after setting everything down on the night table, Julie pounced on him. Literally. She felt the immediate twinge in her thigh and didn’t care.

He grunted and laughed as his hands slid around her waist.

All she wanted to do was lighten his mood. There was nothing she loved more than making this man laugh. Although ogling his muscled chest ran a close second.

Straddling him, she sat back gingerly on his thighs. “I brought you breakfast in bed because I’m a rockin’ hot chick in more ways than one.”

His hands skimmed beneath her T-shirt, which happened to belong to him. She loved his devilishly arched eyebrow when he noticed that she hadn’t managed to put on the underwear he’d stripped off her early this morning, and his eyes darkened and sparked at the same time. It made for one hell of a sexy look.

First order of business. “Breakfast,” she said, reaching for the doughnuts. She had to stretch over him, and he snagged and sucked on her nipple through the T-shirt. Julie gasped and squealed. “Hey, no fair. That’s cheating.”

“Not my fault,” he muttered when she pulled away. “You said breakfast, then presented one of my favorite meals.”

“You’re such a sweet-talker.” She grinned as she pinched off a piece of glazed doughnut and fed it to him. He licked the glaze off her finger and Julie felt the immediate response in the pulsing between her thighs. He looked so absolutely sexy with the dark stubble on his chin and his eyes heavy-lidded and loaded with desire.

“I’m not sure if that look is for the doughnut or for me,” she said unable to keep a straight face.

“I’m not sure either,” he said. His grin widened.

She could eat him up. Maybe she would after a doughnut.

“Why are you smiling?” he asked.

“Because I like when you smile.” She fed him another piece and this time he sucked her finger. Julie inhaled sharply and watched his eyes darken. It would be too easy to go another round right this second, but she wanted to talk. “I made you coffee. Want some?” She reached for his mug and he sat up against the headboard.

His gaze landed on the small pink book on the end table and he lost the smile. Julie sighed as she handed him the coffee and sat back on his thighs.

“You know you don’t have to tell me what had you up all night. But if you want to, I’m here to listen.”

Troy took her hand, linked their fingers and studied her. “You...are...”

She waited, not sure what he had on his mind. “What? A pain in the ass? A godsend? A missing member of the Avengers? There are so many things to choose from.”

The smile came back and Julie’s heart rolled over.

Yes, it was official. She liked him a whole lot. Serious, serious like. She’d have to tell him too, because she didn’t like hiding her feelings from him. She wanted everything out in the open. No p-ssyfooting around. Now if she could bring herself to open her mouth...

“You are not what I expected,” he finally said.

She was used to that. People were bound to have preconceived notions of her. She was nothing like her television character or the characters she played in the movies. She was a regular woman with regular issues. She just happened to have a crazy public job where people thought they knew her or had a right to know her. It was part of the territory, but skewed nonetheless.

“I’m afraid to ask what you expected.” She took a bite of her doughnut and waited, watched him think about that. She remembered his words from that night on the balcony when she’d gotten so angry with him, angry enough to make her turn on him, which had ultimately saved her life.

“I guess because I’ve been around so many people in entertainment, I expect selfish and pampered. I haven’t come across too many strong, intelligent and natural people. You’re the first.” He sipped his coffee.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

His contagious smile had her grinning back at him. But she sobered because something weighed heavy on his mind and she wanted to help. She grabbed him a fresh doughnut and handed it over before sliding under the sheets next to him. For a few minutes they ate in silence and sipped their drinks. When the doughnuts disappeared, Julie linked their hands again as she twisted on her side and faced him. She didn’t plan to ask him again. Either he’d confide in her or he wouldn’t.

Troy grabbed the book and rubbed the cover with his palm. “This is straight out of a soap opera.”

She thought about making a joke out of it, As the Stomach Turns, but managed to bite her tongue because it was obviously serious stuff. Instead she waited for him to say something else. It took him a full minute to find the words.

He shot her a glance. “I almost don’t know where to begin.” He shook his head. “My mom was seventeen when she started this,” he said, referring to the diary. “She was in high school. She talked a lot about the Mills brothers. My dad and my uncle. They were only a year apart and my mom was in the same class with my dad. Apparently my mom really liked my uncle. She went so far as to arrange to be lab partners with my dad so she had an excuse to call the house or go by on the pretense of homework. I guess my uncle didn’t pay too much attention to her because she was younger and he had a girlfriend. Turns out it was my Aunt Celia. I didn’t know they’d been high school sweethearts.” He paused, shook his head again. “Celia broke things off and my uncle was devastated. My mom took the opportunity to make a move. My uncle accepted her invitation. They spent one night together. One night,” he whispered.

Julie gently traced a faded scar on his arm as she listened.

“She found out she was pregnant soon after and was about to tell Zach, but then he and Celia had gotten back together. My mom wouldn’t consider abortion. She loved Zach and wanted his baby. But she had to do something. She was afraid her parents would kick her out or the town would think she was a slut.”

“Or both,” Julie added.

Troy nodded. “Or both.” He shook his head. “So she did the next-best thing.”

“She went after his little brother.” Julie didn’t need to make it a question. She knew the answer. The girl was underage and afraid no one would support or help her.

“She wanted a name for her baby and what better name than the one he’d have if she’d married the baby’s father?”

Julie took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Wow.” Zach Mills was actually Troy’s real father. It explained the man’s behavior yesterday. Explained the hug and the fact that he’d built this place and left it for Troy. “So your uncle found out about this when he discovered the diary.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Troy nodded again and leaned back against the headboard. “It explains so much.”

“Do you think that’s why your father treated you both the way he did?”

“It seems logical, but I don’t know. Maybe he was just a vindictive son of a bitch, but maybe he found this—” he lifted the diary, “—and discovered whose son he was raising. In some ways it would explain why he moved us away. He didn’t want his brother finding out he had a son. Zach and Celia tried for years to have children.”

Julie sat up next to him. “Wow. Did your mom think he found out?”

“Thinking back on it, I’d have to say, yes, she was suspicious.” He paused, wiped a hand down his face. “It was right about the time she died.”

Julie turned toward him. “Oh, Troy.” What was she supposed to say? “So where do you go from here? Are you going to try to find your father?”

* * *

Julie had asked the million-dollar question that Troy had been asking himself since he’d read the diary. He’d wanted to get away from his father as fast as he could and he’d sworn he’d never go back. He didn’t care what happened to the man. The child in him had taken his father’s word that his mother had fallen because the alternative scared the shit out of him. He hadn’t reached his full height when he’d left home at eighteen and his father had still been able to knock him down. That wouldn’t be the case any longer, not that Troy imagined his father trying to hit him at this point, but talking to him now might give Troy answers to questions he’d had for years.

He’d always wondered what he’d done to deserve his father’s wrath. Now he knew. He’d simply been born another man’s son.

“I could help you,” Julie said now, bringing him out of his thoughts. “We could do some searching on the Internet. Or worst-case scenario, we could hire a private investigator.” She looked so damn earnest sitting ramrod straight facing him.

It was all Troy could do to keep a poker face. She’d given him the perfect opening to tell the truth and he should take it. But she’d be pissed as hell and he didn’t want her mad. Not when he needed her support. Dealing with this bombshell of his life was more than enough at the moment. He didn’t want to fight with Julie on top of it.

He’d never thought of himself as a coward until right this second. More than a coward, he was being selfish. No wonder he’d stayed to himself for so many years. It was harder to disappoint people if there was no one around.

“What do you think?” Julie asked. “I’ll bet we might be able to come up with something. If not, I’ll ask around and we’ll get professional help.”

“Private investigators are expensive.” Stupid thing to say for so many reasons.

She crinkled her nose. “Uh...money’s kind of not an issue for me.”

It wasn’t for him either. He’d been working constantly for over fifteen years. Clients paid the majority of his expenses and he’d invested his money wisely. Work insured he’d never be poor again and would never depend on anyone else. He could retire today if he wanted. But what the hell would he do with his life?

Her words, her offer, registered with him. “You’d help me pay for a P.I. to find my father?”

The look in her eyes floored him. Soft and trusting. “Sure,” she said quietly.

Troy sat up, wrapped his hand around her nape and pulled her close so that his mouth was a fraction away from hers. “That’s a pretty serious offer,” he said against her lips.

“Those are the only kinds of offers I make,” she breathed. Her gorgeous blue eyes slayed him with emotion.

He pulled back, studying her, blown away at the support she was giving him. At the trust she showed him. He should absolutely tell her right this second, but right that second she got tired of waiting for him to make a move, closed the gap between them and pressed her mouth to his.

That’s all it took. The contact of her mouth against his, the soft sigh that she breathed past his lips. He was lost. Lost in the smooth skin under his fingertips, lost in the wondrous way she pushed him down to the mattress and straddled him with incredible legs.

The whole idea still fascinated him. The fact that he’d always led the way when it came to sex, yet with Julie things were different. He purposely didn’t want to rush her or make her feel used, which in turn led her to do the initiating.

It was f*cking sexy as hell.

Instead of telling her the truth, he let her take him under, take him to the most incredible sensations, where nothing mattered except her response, the softness of her kiss and the way she gave so unconditionally.

He knew one thing for certain. He was falling hard for Julie Fraser. Harder than he’d ever dreamed possible. And because he had now, because he didn’t want to screw up now with the truth, he did the only thing he could do. He rolled her over and loved her until she came.

* * *

Desert landscape had faded away many hours ago and sun glared through the tall green pine trees in the state of Colorado. Allen glanced over at a peaceful Carrie Ann. She looked like an angel curled in the passenger seat of her car. But he knew better. He’d been horribly uncomfortable when he’d tried to sleep in the same spot. The chair reclined, but not enough to accommodate his legs, and he’d barely dozed as she’d taken the first eight-hour shift behind the wheel.

The sun had risen hours ago and Allen welcomed the new day with a smile. They were almost a thousand miles closer to Julie than they’d been yesterday. At this rate, they’d get to the East Coast in record time. Despite the fatigue, Allen liked this idea. He liked that he was on his way to his destiny. He’d be the perfect birthday present for Julie.

He couldn’t wait to see her face when she found out he’d been the one to send those flower arrangements. Maybe he’d even find a florist shop when they hit town and he’d splurge and buy her a similar arrangement for her birthday. Perfect.

Allen yawned. He’d been driving since early morning and needed to take a piss. Then maybe Carrie Ann could take over for a while. He wouldn’t have any problem falling asleep at this point. He was wiped out.

He pulled onto the ramp leading to a rest stop, and Carrie Ann stirred as if she knew instinctually that he’d gone slightly off course.

She lifted her head and looked around. “What are you doing?” Her sharp tone implied he was the biggest idiot in the car and his grin vanished. She checked her watch. “You still have another two hours to go before it’s my turn.”

Allen found her less and less attractive as they spent more time together. He’d had plenty of time to try to figure out what Julie saw in Carrie Ann as a friend, but hadn’t yet come up with a reason. She complained regularly and bossed everyone around constantly. A real treat to be around if a person wanted to be miserable.

“Unless you want me to pee on your upholstery, we have to stop.”

She rolled her eyes in that way his father used to when the man thought he was dealing with a moron. Allen had been the recipient of that look more times than he could count his senior year in high school. His dad never understood the importance of his video games. Who needed history and English when you could develop a game that millions of people would love—and pay—to play? It had been Julie Fraser’s comedy that gave him light and life. She’d saved him dozens of times.

But Carrie Ann was not going to treat him like his dad had and get away with it. She made him want to do bad things. He hadn’t done bad things since he’d released his father from a world of misery.

He’d have to talk to Julie about her. If Julie had grown tired of her best friend’s complaining, then Allen knew exactly how to deal with her. He’d gotten away with murder once already. One more time wasn’t going to kill him. Laughing at his own joke, he adjusted the number. Actually, two more times since he still had to lose the bodyguard.

“Why are you laughing?” Carrie Ann asked. She ran her hands through her hair. It wasn’t long enough to wrap around her neck. A shame. But even if it had been, he wasn’t stupid enough to think hair was strong enough to choke her.

“I was just thinking about how surprised Julie’s going to be when she sees us.”

“That’s the f*cking truth,” Carrie Ann agreed.

Allen parked the car in the empty lot and relieved himself in the men’s room. His phone rang as he washed his hands. It was probably his boss wondering when he planned on coming back to work. How about never? In a perfect world his game would sell, he’d be with Julie and he wouldn’t need his f*cking IT job. He let the voicemail answer. Once outside, he checked the call log and felt his jaw clench. His mother. She didn’t know how to leave him alone. But as long as he had a minute away from Carrie Ann, he hit Play to listen to the message.

“Allie, it’s me,” her nasal voice droned. “Where are you? What did you do? The police were here looking for you.”

What? Allen’s skin prickled. His heart slammed against his ribs as he walked slowly back to the car. He missed her next words and had to concentrate.

“—in Oxnard, but they left their card and told me to call them as soon as I heard from you. Are you in trouble? Call me as soon as you get this.”

The voicemail ended and he quickly deleted it. Allen took a deep breath to calm his racing pulse. This had to be about Julie. He hadn’t done anything that might get him into trouble with the cops. Not counting offing his father years ago. They had to be looking for strangers who’d sent her mail or packages and he’d done both. He ran a hand through his hair. Okay...not a problem. Once he found her and explained, she’d be able to tell the police that he wasn’t the one who wanted to hurt her. He planned to protect her. There was no better time to meet Julie in person.

Call me as soon as you get this. His mother’s words echoed in his head.

“Not a chance in hell,” he muttered.

When he returned, Carrie Ann sat behind the wheel.

“What’d you do, learn to drive from your grandma? I wanted to have a least another hundred miles behind us at this point.”

Allen clenched his jaw. The lot was empty. No one knew they were there. He could get behind her and snap her neck faster than she could blink. That would warrant a police investigation. He might look like a nerd, but that didn’t make him harmless. “I went over the speed limit,” he said, working hard to control his anger.

“Yeah? By what? Two miles an hour?” She rolled her eyes again and Allen felt his restraint slipping away. If she made one more comment. One more eye roll or gesture or if she even looked at him funny, he was going to f*ck her up so bad, she’d beg him to kill her.

“Look, sorry I’m hammering you on this. I just don’t want to be late and we’re going to cut it close.”

Allen rolled his neck against his shoulders before getting in the passenger side. He leaned his head against the seat rest then turned and looked at her. “You asked me to do this so I’m doing it. For you, yes, but mainly for Julie.” And now to avoid a police investigation. “I suggest you stay the f*ck off my back if you want the rest of this trip to be bearable.”

Her eyes widened, her jaw slacked open, but a smile curved her lips. “Well, look who just grew a pair. It’s about time. Welcome to the real world, baby.” She started the car and peeled out of the spot.

Allen resisted the urge to grab hold of the door handle. The bitch was f*cking with him.

Fine. He’d make this trip for Julie’s sake, but when they got to the East Coast, Carrie Ann was going to have a terrible accident that no one would be able to save her from. Now all he had to do was figure out exactly what kind of accident would take her the most quickly...and most painfully.

* * *

Carrie Ann set the cruise control at eighty-five. Probably about twenty miles an hour faster than Geekboy had gone the whole time she’d slept. His little outburst had surprised her. Apparently he had a breaking point. But didn’t everybody? She sure as hell did. Seeing Drew break down had crushed her. Most of all, she wanted the best for her brother and if taking Julie out of the picture meant he would function close to normal, then she had to try. He was her responsibility. She’d promised her mother she’d take care of him.

The more she thought about it, the more she had to concede a selfish reason as well. She was tired of playing second fiddle. She wanted to be on the A-list. Hell, deserved to be on the A-list.

For so many years she’d been so close to stardom, a hairbreadth from fame, but she’d never quite reached it. She played sidekicks in movies and in real life as Julie Fraser’s best buddy. She was always the “and along with” and costarring, but rarely the headline. Thirteen f*cking years of working for every job while her best friend got it all handed to her on a platinum platter.

Julie wasn’t anything special. Carrie Ann had way more in the looks department, the talent department and the brains department. But Julie was the one with everything. Her house, her car—although why she drove a Prius when she could afford a fleet of Bentleys was still beyond Carrie Ann—her career. She had everything, and Carrie Ann didn’t see the justice in that.

There had been a handful of years when just being seen with Julie put Carrie Ann in the spotlight enough to warrant a spike in her career, but after Nowhere to Hide, that had changed. She’d gone back to working for every role.

Her knuckles tightened on the wheel.

“Are you still pissed at me?” Al asked. His eyes were at half-mast with his arms folded across his chest. He yawned and Carrie Ann saw all the metal fillings in his teeth.

“I’m pissed at myself,” she said, looking at the long stretch of highway in front of her. She didn’t even know where they were.

“For bringing me along?” he asked. He might’ve been a geek, but he was an observant geek.

“For expecting you to have my urgency,” she said. “I want to get there for her birthday and it’s not a big deal to you. I should’ve made it more clear.”

“Fine. So I know. Can we get past it now?”

Yeah, she wanted to pull over, shove him out of her car, hit the gas and leave him stranded on the side of the road. She could have too. It’d be easy. But then she really wouldn’t make it to the East Coast on time.

“Consider me past it.” It was everything she could do to keep her voice steady and not mock him. How had she ever thought she could be with him on a regular basis? She usually considered herself a better judge of character. Besides, if he had all the money he boasted about, why did he live the way he did? There was something fishy about Al Gates. Something very fishy.

Of course, it wouldn’t be the first time someone lied to get closer to her. Or to Julie. People knew her as Julie’s BFF so Carrie Ann always had to live with people befriending her just to meet Julie. But this guy had said he was her neighbor, so that didn’t fit the usual scenario.

“So, where did you go to college?” A rich computer geek had to have gone someplace fancy. MIT or an Ivy League school. Someplace that made geeks into millionaires.

“CSUN,” he said.

“Cal State Northridge?” She hated asking stupid questions she knew the answer to, but she expected more than CSUN.

He cracked open one tired lid and gave her a stink eye. “Yes. Why? You have an issue with CSUN? Where’d you go to school?”

“No, I don’t have an issue with it. I just expected something else. I went to Cal Arts.”

He huffed out a breath.

“What the f*ck was that?” Try as she might, she couldn’t hide the nasty in her tone. Not that she tried too hard. She zoomed up behind the semi in front of them and darted to the left lane to pass, flooring the accelerator.

“It was the same reaction you had to my answer, only without words. At least I got my degree at a normal school.”

Carrie Ann clenched her jaw tight. She’d heard that same crap from people for years. She’d auditioned and gotten into Cal Arts, and Julie had auditioned and landed her own f*cking show at seventeen. Carrie Ann had been thrilled for her. She’d also been sure it wouldn’t last more than a few episodes. She’d been sure that busting her ass at a school geared for the performing arts would not only set her up to be well-rounded and versatile, it would give her the credentials needed when she went to future auditions.

What a f*cking joke that had been.

She never should’ve spent three years of her life there. She’d have been better off trying to land an agent and more auditions.

She took a deep breath to calm the anger raging through her system.

“What’s got you pissed off now?” Geekboy asked.

The fact that he was obviously watching her made her even angrier. “I thought you were sleeping,” she snapped.

“Not with you going a hundred miles an hour. I’m kind of getting ready to die.”

She glanced at the speedometer and took her foot off the gas. She’d passed that truck a long time ago, but hadn’t let up on the accelerator. “You’re not going to die. We’ve got a surprise party to get to. God isn’t going to punish you when you’re doing a good deed.” Like she really believed that load of crap. God had left her to the mercy of Hollywood years ago and Hollywood was not a kind master. It bled a person dry. Drew was the perfect example. He’d had hope and the chance at his dreams, but inevitably he’d been stripped of everything including self-respect and dignity. He’d seen what had happened with her staying in school and Julie getting her television show. He’d opted to jump right into auditioning and forgo his education. And what had that done for him? Hollywood had made a joke of his life. It had ruined her brother, made Julie a star, and it was the one place where Carrie Ann wanted to succeed more than anywhere else.

If getting rid of Julie gave Drew back some of his mental health and set her on the right track, she had to try.

F*ck this. She stepped on the gas.