CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I lay, perfectly still, and savored this amazing moment. Savored the feeling of her completely pliant in my arms. Breathing in her heavenly scent, now mixed with mine, I thanked whatever deity deemed me worthy of being with this perfect woman. I was a lucky bastard.
The sun had set completely now, revealing a sky glittering with a plethora of stars. I reached around and pulled the blanket around Jillian to ward off any chill as she slept. I knew I should wake her and take her back to be with her family, but I pushed reality back down. Reality could wait, because in this moment she was mine.
Mine.
She was mine.
She was mine everywhere that mattered. But I needed to make her mine, on every level. That f*ckin’ loser boyfriend needed to go. Now.
How was I going to convince her of this without coming off like a jealous a*shole? Or have her resent me? She needed to see it on her own. I just didn’t know how to make that happen.
For years, I had vowed not to turn into my father. I never understood why he wasn’t able to let go of the memory of my mother, to have a life again after her. Now, lying here with Jillian in my arms, it was starting to make sense. Was this the beginnings of love? The thought terrified and excited me.
A buzzing brought me out of my thoughts. Stretching my head upward, I could see a light coming out of Jillian’s pants pocket. Worried it might be her family with news of her grandmother, I knew my time with her tonight was over.
My hand traced the outline of her face, brushing back the hair and tucking it behind her ears. I bent and lightly kissed her temple. “Hey, sleepyhead. It’s time to rise and shine.”
She stirred and blinked up at me. A smile stretched from ear to ear and I exhaled in relief. My biggest worry disappeared with that smile.
“Hey, yourself,” she said, stretching before she sat up.
The blanket fell away as she did so, making me want to repeat this whole night all over again. My god, she was incredible. I cleared my throat and looked away before I lost all will power. “Your phone was buzzing. I thought you might want to check it to make sure it wasn’t about your grandmother or anything.”
She rushed to reach over for her phone and punched the security code to unlock it. “It was a missed call from my mom. I’ve got to call her back.” I nodded but didn’t interrupt as she stood, shoving her jeans and shirt back on—sans bra since that was lost in the ocean. “Hey, Mom. I saw I missed a call, is everything alright? Is Gamma… oh, okay. I’ll be there soon then. No, I’m not at the house. I was…” she paused and looked over at me, apparently unclear how to exactly answer the question. “I was out with a friend getting some air. Ugh! Don’t worry about who it was, I’ll be there soon.”
She hit end and tossed the phone back on the blanket. “I’ve got to get back. My mom was being pretty cryptic, but said she had some good news for me.”
I stood and started putting my clothes back on. “Of course. That’s great. I hope it’s good news about your grandmother.”
“Me, too.”
While I finished dressing, she began to fold the blanket. I glanced over at her and saw the happiness on her face dissolve into worry. Was it worry about her grandmother? Worry about being here with me instead of with her family? Worry about where we went from here?
“Hey,” I stopped her, taking by the shoulders. “It’s going to be okay. All of it. Your grandmother, your family, you, and me.”
Her bottom lip quivered. “But how will it? Everything feels like it’s flying away from me, and I don’t know what to do. How did I let everything spin so far out of control?”
I pulled her closer. “Shh. I know everything seems beyond your control right now, but I promise it’ll work itself out. It always does. You need to trust me on this, I’ve been there. Just focus on one thing at a time, and right now, that’s whatever news your mother has to tell you at the hospital.”
“Grant, I want you to know, I don’t usually go around cheating on my boyfriend. Things haven’t been good between us for a while, and I can’t help the pull I feel toward you.” She chuckled. “Trust me, I’ve tried. It’s just, I don’t want you to think I’m some kind of slut or anything. This is really unlike me. Christian is the only other guy I’ve ever been with. He was my first love, but we’re not the same people we were in high school and as much as I love him, I don’t know if it’s the forever kind of love.” She blew out a breath and pulled at her hair. “God, I sound ridiculous. Can we just go?”
I studied her for a moment, trying to gather just the right words. “I could never think you were a slut, Jillian. You’re an incredible woman, one of the most incredible women I’ve ever known. And I know you’re in a tough position right now and I’m sorry if I made that harder. But you need to know, I’m not giving you up. I will fight for you, because I truly believe you’re worth it, and that we could be amazing together. So please, don’t let guilt or worry or anything make you feel ashamed of what we just did. Because what we did was beautiful.” I kissed her, long and hard. “We’ll figure it out. Both of us. But for now, let’s go back to the hospital to find out the good news.”
We walked back to the car, arm in arm. Jillian reapplied some make up and braided her hair while we drove, trying to fix the damage the ocean caused. I tried to drop her off out front, but she placed her hand on my leg.
“No, Grant. I want to go in with you. Park. We’re in this together, remember?”
I looked at her for a long moment. “You sure?”
She nodded, and I pulled out of the drop-off zone and into a spot in the garage. She grabbed my hand on the elevator ride up. That one tiny gesture was her way of telling me we’d be okay. I wanted to puff up my chest and scream it to the rooftops, “Screw you, Christian. She’s picking me!”
The elevator opened, and neither of us was prepared for what we saw.
Her hand dropped from mine as it flew to her mouth to hold in a gasp.