CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I was sitting at my desk, working on updating the server, when my phone buzzed, indicating I had a text. As I glanced to see who it was from, a smile spread across my face, and then disappeared. Just because she was talking to me again didn’t mean it would be in my favor.
The text read,
Can U meet? I need 2 talk 2 U. It’s important.
I hadn’t heard from Jillian in over two weeks. I knew I had acted like a jackass and attempted everything I could think of to apologize, but she refused to return any of my calls or texts, and then she quit her job. I had about given up hope I’d ever see her again.
It tore me up that I hurt her so badly. It was the last thing I ever wanted to do, and it was hard for me to give her space and time to cool off. I wanted to go to her, and even ended up driving by the playground and her house a few times to catch a glimpse of her, hoping maybe to get her alone so we could talk.
But after one week turned into two, I feared the worst. And I had no one to blame but myself.
I opened my phone back up and texted a reply.
Yes. When & where?
It was only seconds later when she got back to me.
ASAP. Playground.
I shoved my phone in my pocket and logged off the computer.
“Hey, what’s up? Where you off to?” JT asked. I hadn’t told him the whole story about what had happened between Jillian and me, but between my sour mood and the timing of Jillian’s departure, he suspected. He tried—repeatedly—to get me to tell him what happened, but I wouldn’t utter a peep. I didn’t want him getting the wrong idea about Jillian and then spreading it around the office.
“I’m taking the rest of the day off. Cover for me.”
“What do you mean you’re taking the day off? You never take time off unless someone’s dead. And even then you’d probably bring your laptop to the funeral. So what gives?”
I paused, scrubbing my hand over my forehead while I tried to think of what to tell him. “Something came up that can’t wait. I know it’ll be hard, doing it alone and all, and I feel real bad leaving you in a bind. So if anything major comes up you can’t handle, I’ll come back tonight and I’ll fix it.”
JT crossed his arms. “Pfft! I can handle anything that comes up. Go on, get outta here. I’ll hold down the fort.”
I smiled wickedly as I made my way toward the car. JT had fallen right into that, and he didn’t even see it coming.
But all thoughts of JT faded as I drove. What could have happened to make Jillian contact me? Whatever it was, it was urgent. I hoped nothing happened with her grandmother again. That family had been through enough recently.
I made it to the playground twenty minutes later. I could see from the parking lot that Jillian was there, pacing back and forth between the sliding board and swings with her hand to her mouth. Knowing her, she was biting the side of her thumb again. She looked stunning in a strapless purple sundress bathed in the Georgia summer sun. She paused and took her hair out of the braid, piece by piece until it was all free and cascaded in waves down her back. She began braiding it again and then shook it free once more. The soft locks almost looked like a dark gold at this angle. I wanted to stand back and watch her all day. I could have, she was that beautiful.
But even at this distance, I could see she was plagued with worry. Even if she was pissed as hell at me, I couldn’t stand by if there was something I could do to ease it—if only for a few moments.
She turned my way when she heard the car door slam, and even at this distance I saw her face crumble. I quickened my pace, anxious to get to her. Her lip quivered as I approached, and then the tears fell as I scooped her in my arms. Her knees buckled, so I carried her to a nearby bench and let her just cry.
A ton of worst-case scenarios ran through my mind as to why she was so upset, but I didn’t want to ask. I knew she’d explain why she’d asked me here as soon as she was ready. Until then, I was content to have her in my arms again.
When her crying slowed some time later, she began to speak—softly, as if it were a secret.
“I should have listened to you. I was so naïve. I must have been blind not to see it all this time.”
“What didn’t you see, Jillian? What happened?”
She sighed. “I don’t even know where to start. Everything just unraveled and then it exploded.”
She lifted her head from my chest and faced me. It was the first time I’d gotten a close-up view of her face today, and I was floored. I held her chin gently between my thumb and forefinger and turned her face slowly from side to side, examining her. She had a large, purpling bruise on most of her left cheek, and her eye was beginning to swell. There was no cut, but there was a faint outline of three fingers near her temple. Someone had hit her—hard.
I fought to remain calm, but it was a losing battle. I couldn’t see straight as every instinct in my body told me—urged me to action. “Did that son of a bitch hit you?”
Her eyes began to pool again, and she only nodded in reply.
“That god-damned piece-of-shit motherf*cker.” I growled, breathing heavily through my nose to keep my temper in check. I clenched and unclenched my hands, wanting to punch something. My heart raced with a surge of adrenaline, and I began to shake in anger. My muscles tightened as rage filled me, consuming and overpowering any rational thought.
I wanted to leave her here and go hunt him down, but I knew I couldn’t. She was still on my lap and had seen enough violence for one day. The last thing I wanted to do was scare her. I let out a deep breath and cupped her face, laying the gentlest of kisses on her bruised cheek before I said anything else.
“Jillian, I don’t know what happened, but I need to say this. It is, under no circumstances, permissible for him to lay a finger on you. There is nothing you could have said or done to deserve such an action.” I paused, letting out a deep breath while I tried to gather just the right words. “I promise you, it will be the last time. And he will regret this. He will regret harming you, disrespecting you, and not honoring your trust. I will make sure he knows—in no uncertain terms—that any such actions have consequences. Like beating the shit out of him to see how he likes it. And making sure he can’t do it again by ripping his arms out of his f*ckin’ sockets—and beating him with them until he’s reduced to a bloody pulp.”
Jillian leaned up and put a hand on my arm, causing me to pause. “It’s okay, Grant. I’m okay. And I left as soon as it happened. I won’t let him ever get close enough to try again. I promise.”
I pulled her back to my chest and hugged her tight. “God, Jillian. When you called me, I never would have imagined. I honestly want to kill that f*ckin’ bastard. It’ll be worth every moment I spend in jail if it means he can’t go near you ever again. Near any woman. I mean, I never would have let you go back anywhere close to him if I’d known he’d do this.”
She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand, wincing a bit when she brushed over her sore cheek. “He’s selling weed. And coke. You were right. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you. I didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to believe he was lying to me for so long. He swore to me a year ago that he was completely done with the stuff and I believed him.”
“Start from the beginning, and tell me what you need. Name it and it’s yours.”
“I was at his work, and he left to go get lunch. Some guy came and said he had a package. It seemed shady, ya know? Just the way it was delivered, and then it didn’t say anything on the box, like no name or anything. And I kept hearing your voice, your accusations. And I wanted to prove you wrong. So I opened it.
“God, Grant, I’d never been so freaked out in my life. I was holding ten thousand dollars’ worth of drugs. In that moment, all I could think of was the decades I’d spend in jail if anyone were to come in and catch me with it. So I flushed it. I flushed all of it. I didn’t want any part of it anywhere near me. Christian caught me.”
She paused, bringing her hand up to her cheek and lightly touching it. “You know, when I was sixteen and I first met him, I was so enthralled that someone so popular and so much older wanted a simple sophomore like me that I let it color how I saw him. My friends and I put him on some type of pedestal, like a movie star. I mean, he was the most popular boy in school, captain of the basketball team—and he chose me. I didn’t really know him, ya know? I knew his image, the one he pretended to be. And even after we started dating, I somehow convinced myself that the image was who he really was. I never looked too far below the surface. There were signs, and red flags, but I buried them. I didn’t want my image shattered. ‘Cause if I really confronted who he was, it meant that I had to face who I was: a shallow girl who didn’t care what he was really like because all I saw was a pretty face.”
I stoked her hair, running my fingers through the wavy strands. It helped assuage my anger, which was barely at bay just under the surface, primed and ready to come out if given the chance. My revenge would wait. Right now, I focused solely on her.
“I don’t believe that, Jillian. Everyone makes stupid mistakes in high school. We have no idea who we are at that age, so we pretend to be who we think others want us to be, or expect us to be. We go along with whatever’s in vogue just to fit in. I was a skinny, runt of a kid who liked computers and math through most of high school. The only people who liked me were teachers. But kids are stupid. Hell, most people at your age or even my age still haven’t figured it out. I haven’t figured it out. That’s what growing up is for—figuring shit out. Please don’t blame yourself for any of this. He lied to you. He hid who he really was. He’s a f*ckin’ coward who knew what he was doing was wrong and did it anyway.”
She shifted on my lap and looked up at me. “What do I do now, Grant? Do I turn him in? Do I pretend like it never happened? Tell his parents? Try to get him in rehab or something?” She paused, groaning. “Ugh! What am I going to tell my parents about my face? My dad will go ape-shit if he finds out. He’s stressed enough with work and Gamma. I can’t tell him this.”
“The first thing we’re going to do is go get some ice on your cheek and eye before it swells any more.”
She smiled shyly. “We? You’re not mad at me for being an utter bitch to you?”
I brought my lips to hers, kissing her gently. “Yes, we. For as long as you’ll have me.”