“What do I mean? Have you forgotten that you dumped me a year and a half ago?”
He lamely defended himself. “We didn’t break up because you wanted to get married and I didn’t!”
“Really?” I asked, dumbfounded. “Then why did we break up? Didn’t you give me some lame excuse about not wanting to be tied down and needing your freedom?” I accused. It felt good to hash out our breakup.
“You never mentioned wanting to get married,” he retorted.
“Max, are you blind or stupid?” It was me who started with the tirade. “You were the only boy I ever loved. After four years of dating, did you think there’d be any other boy I wanted to marry but you? Of course I thought we were getting married. After graduation…never mind…”
Emotions overwhelmed us both at the memory of graduation night. Tears glistened in our eyes, but I quickly laughed them off and poked fun at myself instead.
“Boy, was I ever wrong—so much for woman’s intuition. I went from being married in my head to being single in reality.” Max looked away so I wouldn’t notice the pain in his eyes…though I did.
“Max, it’s late and I’m tired. Let’s go to sleep.” He obliged and we went up to our room and got ready for bed.
It was 5:00 a.m. when the phone buzzed with an early greeting from Jake. In agony, I weighed the wisdom of calling him and needing to hear his comforting voice versus having to explain why I was up at this hour and why I felt so down. Against my better judgment, the phone call was placed.
“Hi, Jake. Are you off to work already?” I asked.
“Emi. Why are you up so early? Are you all right?”
“I’m all right.” I lied, hoping he wouldn’t catch the sadness in my voice. “My back was hurting on this couch so I couldn’t get a good night’s sleep.”
“Why are you sleeping on a couch?” I probably shouldn’t have explained that one either. I knew what he would say.
“Peter got a gigantic suite and I was supposed to room with Sarah, but Charlie stayed in our room so I ended up on the couch.” Of course, Jake immediately insisted on getting me a separate room. “Jake, no. I don’t want you to get me my own room. That’s not cool. We came as a group. I need to do everything with them. Please, don’t do that.”
“All right. Emi? Are you sure you’re OK? You sound sad. Did something happen with Max again? Do you want me to fly in today?”
“I’m fine.” The flat tone in my voice was an unconvincing reassurance. “I think I miss being in my own bed. Between Hawaii and Vegas, a different bed has greeted me each night—yours having been the most pleasant one. I miss being with you as well.” My voice cracked a bit and I knew I needed to get off the phone right away.
“Emily, I’m coming to see you right now! I don’t like the way you sound.”
“Jake, I’ll see you tomorrow. You cannot abandon your work to come get me. I’m fine. Go to the hospital and focus on your patients. I don’t want to be a distraction for you.”
While I was saying this, Max stepped into the living room, and I quickly wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.
“Jake, I gotta go. I’m sorry. Have a wonderful day. I love you. Bye.”
Max had a worried look on his face. He stared at me with his boyish good looks that reminded me of our better days in college.
“Em, are you OK?” I wiped away a final tear and turned my back toward him.
“I’m fine,” I lied.
He sat on the couch and turned me around to face him. He comforted me with a hug and to Max’s surprise, I didn’t push him away. The love and tenderness we once shared for so many years spoke through our embrace. I stayed in his arms for a while, silently, eventually pulling away. Max let go, unwillingly.
“Thanks. I really needed that. It was hard holding back the tears during our phone call. He would come here immediately if he thought there was something wrong with me.”
“He’s quite protective of you. Jake seems to love you very much.” Max didn’t like admitting this.
“Yeah, I feel loved when I’m with him, like there’s no one else on earth but me. Maybe it’s his age or maybe it’s just him. He takes care of me without hovering over me. It’s been wonderful.”
“Then why are you so weepy this morning if everything is so perfect with him? Why’d you call him this early if you didn’t want him to see you like this?” Max’s expression hardened.
“Jake actually texted me before leaving for the hospital, and I should have just let it go, but I missed him and wanted to talk to him.
“Is that why you’re crying, because you miss him? I’m going to be really mad if I was your shoulder to cry on because you missed your boyfriend.” I couldn’t tell whether Max was joking or serious. Perhaps it was a bit of both.
I laughed. “No. That’s not why I’m crying. I’m just a bit frustrated at the ironies of life.”