Charlie saw my red cheeks and stole the phone from my hand.
He read the text aloud. “Emily! Did you have sex with Jake?”
“Charlie!” Sarah and I both yelled at him. I kept quiet till we got to lunch.
Vegas was no different from the last time I’d come—big buildings filled with lights and giant advertisements of half-naked women. I supposed that could be exciting for some, but the in-your-face advertisement was quite a turnoff for me. We pulled into the Venetian Palazzo Hotel and Peter checked in for us.
Peter, being Peter, got one giant suite for all of us to share. It had three bedrooms and three bathrooms and was luxurious. Sarah and I took one room; Peter, Charlie, James, and Max took the other; and Will, Scott, Dave, and John took the third room. We all unpacked and relaxed. Some of the guys went out to gamble and some stayed to watch an MMA fight on TV. Sarah and I didn’t leave our room. Charlie knocked on our door to make sure we were OK as I started to fill Sarah in on all the details of Hawaii.
Sarah began by asking about the text. “OK, so what happened? What’s with the Christmas present and the text? Did you actually sleep with Jake? He could not have lured you into bed with him already when Max wasn’t able to the entire four years.”
“Well…” I had a guilty look.
“Emily!” Sarah begged. “The suspense is killing me!”
“You know how the first day we got to Maui we took the five-mile hike, had scuba lessons, did yoga, and went to a luau, right? So I was really tired! Jake walked me back to my room and he too was tired because he went surfing with Nick while I was at yoga. He fell asleep on my bed while I was showering. I tried to send him away, but he pulled me down on the bed and wouldn’t let go of me. Eventually, I was too tired to fight him off. I fell asleep in his arms but nothing happened. We just slept,” I confessed.
“Anything else happen?” Sarah pressed.
“Well, I kind of fell asleep on him up in San Francisco as well. I don’t know why I keep doing this with Jake. My guard is down and I feel very safe.”
“You didn’t tell me about this before. What else are you keeping from me?” Sarah eyes squinted. She knew this story was nowhere near being over.
“Well…” I had that same guilty tone.
“You didn’t! Does this have something to do with last night?”
“Let me explain yesterday morning first. On the way home from LAX, Jake suddenly pulled out another Christmas present and I about had a heart attack. There was a diamond engagement ring in the box and he proposed to me in the car on the side of the road.”
“No!” Sarah gasped. “So what did you say?”
“I told him it was way too early. Sarah, we’ve only been together for two months.”
“Emily, you’ve been awfully intimate for someone who’s been dating such a short time. You’ve been emotionally, mentally, and physically bewitched.”
“I know. But, it’s still too early. He is too perfect and I’m scared, Sarah. After four years, Max realized one day he didn’t love me anymore. What if Jake thinks the same way a few months down the road?”
This was my a-ha moment. I had told myself and Jake it was too soon and that I wasn’t ready for a lifelong commitment with him. In actuality, I would marry him in a heartbeat if I trusted he would love me the rest of my life, like he loves me now. I was scared to let this happen to me again—too scared to be hurt by the man I trusted. Jake was right. I did doubt his love for me.
“But, Emily, you can’t fear today because of what happened yesterday. Jake is not Max. If you live your life wondering if every man you love will wake up and leave you one day you’ll never be happy. If all that’s stopping you from accepting Jake’s proposal is your paranoid past, you need to rethink your answer.” Sarah was right on all accounts. Maybe during this time away from Jake I would carefully rethink us.
“So what did Jake say when you said no?”
“He accused me of doubting his love and asked me if my answer had anything to do with Max. He was mad because I turned him down without even considering his proposal. I thought he was going to break up with me. Sarah, the thought of letting go of Jake was so difficult. It killed me to think it was over. I do really love him, don’t I?”
“Honestly, Charlie and I thought you were a goner from the first weekend we saw you together with him. We have never ever seen you so enamored with anyone—not even Max.”
I sighed. Perhaps I had made the wrong choice.
“How did you resolve this mess?”
“When I asked him if he was breaking up with me he thought I was crazy. He patiently listened to me, and answered all my questions. He then reassured me that he loved me and that we were not breaking up. Then, I told him that I, too, loved him and we ended our crazy morning.”
“So what happened last night?” Sarah wondered.