chapter Eleven
She looked uncomfortable. Her arms wound tightly around her waist.
“Have fun?” I hated to see how self-destructive she really was. It made me ill.
“I had a great time.” She bit back. She wouldn’t meet my gaze. “Where are we going?”
“Back to my place. You need to eat something.” She needed to sober up. She couldn’t go back home wasted and depressed. I needed to protect myself. At least, that’s what I told myself. I knew I really wanted to make sure she was okay. I had nearly barged into that club, career be damned. Even with the slight buzzing of alcohol coursing through my veins, I knew I was willing to risk everything for her.
“I need to call my aunt. If she comes home and I’m not there…” She pulled her phone out of her pocket. I reached over, placing my hand on it before she could dial. The touch of her skin against mine, however slight, sent a shock through my body. Her eyes grew wide. She had felt it too. I swallowed hard, pushing what I felt deeper.
“Send her a message. Tell her you are staying at a friend’s house. It won’t look good that you’re hanging out with your professor.” I said. Her eyes stayed fixed on mine. She nodded and reluctantly withdrew my hand. She quickly typed out a message and slipped the phone back into her pocket. We rode in silence for the remainder of the short drive to my place.
As we pulled inside, I sat for a moment, contemplating my next move. Give her something to eat, than take her home. She is not yours to worry about. I was determined to not hurt her again.
I exited the car and waited for her to join me. I motioned towards the steps, placing my hand on the small of her back as I guided her upstairs. My pulse quickened at the feel of her muscles in her back.
As we stepped inside, I was careful to put some distance between us. I quickly went to work at preparing her something to eat. What do angels eat? I thought as she settled in on a bar stool across the island.
She picked at her sandwich, ignoring her glass of water. I pushed the glass closer.
“Thank you” She said quietly. I ran my hands through my hair, trying desperately not to focus on her mouth as she ate. I grabbed my bottle of liquor and filled my glass. She ate in silence as she watched me slip further and further away. “I’m sorry…about earlier.” Her eyes fixated on her food.
“I’m the one who should be apologizing.” I replied, shaking my head. “I should have never brought you here. I can’t do this to you.” Saying the words aloud felt like a dagger in my chest. I took another drink. She pushed back from the counter and headed towards the door.
“You said that already.” Her voice was small and she was on the brink of losing it all over again. I followed after her, not letting myself think of the consequences. She opened the door and I pushed it closed from behind her. I had to explain. I couldn’t let her think any of this was her fault. I had preyed upon her like an animal. She turned slowly to face me. I was close enough to feel the heat from her body. I single tear slid down her cheek. I am an animal playing with its food.
“I didn’t say I don’t want to, I said I couldn’t.” I wiped away the tear with my thumb. She didn’t pull away from me. Her expression changed from wanting to escape to pure wanting. She grabbed my hand in hers and held it against her face. She felt it too. “You don’t want this.” I whispered as she moved closer. Her hands left mine and she slowly began to undo the buttons of my shirt. This time, her hands where steady. She pushed the shirt from my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor below. I grabbed the bottom of my under shirt and pulled it over my head. My eyes never left hers. I began to undo my belt as her hands slid across my chest. I folded it over in my hands and undid my button, letting my jeans sag low on my hips. “You’re being a very bad girl.” The hint of smile played at the corners of her mouth.
“What are you going to do to me?” I could hear the nervousness in her voice. I grabbed her uninjured hand and lowered it to my zipper. I pushed against her so she could feel how much I wanted her. She gasped but did not pull away. I leaned in closer to her ear, letting my lips brush against her.
“I’m going to punish you.”