His Love Endures Forever

Seven




VERA DETWEILER KNEW THAT THE RAGE SHE FELT was not something God approved of, but it was there just the same. Levi had lost his mind, and it was her job as his mother to talk him out of ruining his life.

“Calm down, Vera,” her husband said when her voice grew louder.

“I will not calm down, Elam!” She pointed a finger at Levi. “This is narrisch, and our sohn is ab im kopp.” She swallowed back tears. “You will ruin your life by marrying Danielle and leaving our community.”

“It’s my life to ruin,” Levi said with enough sarcasm to make Vera want to take him over her knee like she’d done when he was a small boy. He walked closer to her. “I feel called to marry her, Mamm. I told you that. Maybe the Lord is using to me to help Danielle to have a relationship with Him.”

Vera threw her hands up and glared at Elam. “Can’t you talk some sense into our boy?”

Elam shook his head. “Vera, this news is displeasing to me too, but Levi is a grown man. A man who has not been baptized. He has to be the one to make this choice.”

Vera had never felt more alone, or more disappointed in Elam. Her worst fear was coming true, and this was all her husband had to say? One of their children was leaving them to live amongst the Englisch. Vera had known Danielle was trouble the minute she’d laid eyes on the girl. She covered her face with her hands and cried.

“Mamm, please don’t cry.” Levi neared her.

“Levi, why the rush?” she asked as she lowered her hands. “If you really think this is what you want, then why don’t you become engaged and wait a few months? You might change your mind, and at least you won’t already be married to that girl.”

“That girl is going to be mei fraa, Mamm. And I’m going to buy the property down the road, the farmhouse on the ten acres. We will be nearby.”

Vera tensed. “You will not be nearby in spirit.” Losing the battle, she held on to one last hope. “Why not have Danielle study the Ordnung? Lillian did that before she converted and married Samuel. Maybe after a year or two, Danielle would be ready to be baptized into our faith.” She touched Levi on the arm. “Have you considered this, sohn?”

Levi shifted his weight from one foot to the other, scratched his forehead, and was about to speak when Vera spoke first.

“Please tell me the girl believes in God. Please tell me she is a Christian. I see her at worship service, but not very often lately. Martha has shared with me that Danielle has a long way to go with her relationship with the Lord. Has she crossed that distance?” She cupped her son’s face. “She does believe in our Lord, doesn’t she?”

“Yes, Mamm.”

It was a small consolation, but it was better than hearing that Danielle had no faith at all. She closed her eyes and tried to picture Danielle as her daughter-in-law, but the image wouldn’t come. Had Levi not paid attention when Vera and Elam advised all the kinner to avoid being unequally yoked? This was an example of what could happen. She wondered how Martha felt about this news. Vera and Martha had grown fairly close over the past couple of years. At one point, Vera had even thought Martha might convert to their faith. Martha knew much about the Ordnung, was loved by those in their community, and everyone overlooked her peculiar ways.

But if one thing had ever threatened Vera’s relationship with Martha, it had been the initial attraction between Danielle and Levi. It had worried her from the beginning. She’d thought that when Danielle starting seeing an Amish boy in another community that the girl would become another Amish family’s problem.

“What about poor Sarah?” Vera finally asked. “I thought you might have feelings for her.”

“Mamm, even if I wasn’t marrying Danielle, I don’t think I would have married Sarah.”

Vera brought a hand to her chest. “You don’t think? How do you know? Sarah is much more suited to you.” She shook her head. “This is a baremlich situation.”

“Mamm, even though Danielle is going to be mei fraa, I will still love the Lord no matter where I am. I will still practice the ways of the Ordnung, and—”

“No, Levi. You won’t.” Vera started to cry again, and finally Elam spoke up.

“Your mudder is right about that, Levi.” Elam had been standing near the fireplace, but he walked to the middle of the room toward Levi. “You will be living outside of our boundaries and not following the Ordnung. You’ll be using electricity, listening to music, watching television, and probably even driving a car. Even if you continue to worship with us like some of our Englisch friends, things will still change. We can’t stop you from marrying Danielle, but don’t fool yourself into thinking that you will still be living our ways. You will not.”

“It doesn’t mean my relationship with God is changing.” Levi stared at the floor, and Vera’s heart hurt for her son. Of all her kinner, she would have never expected that Levi would be the one to leave the faith. He’d always talked about raising his family based on the Ordnung. What could possibly have changed? This had to be hard for him. And Danielle had surely pushed Levi into this ridiculous marriage.

“I just don’t understand,” Vera said softly. “I thought you always wanted to raise your kinner Amish, to instill in them the values and beliefs your daed and I taught you.”

“I did, Mamm.” Levi turned away from both his parents, pulled out his inhaler, and breathed in quickly. Then he turned back around. “I know you don’t understand, but as I said, I feel that God is calling me to marry Danielle. How can I ignore this?”

Vera sighed. “Sohn, if it is a true calling, should it hurt so much?”

“God doesn’t always ask us to do things that don’t cause pain, and we can never know His plan. You and Daed taught us this.”

Vera took a deep breath as her husband gave a slight nod. “I have to go check on Betsy.” She dabbed at her eyes and shook her head. “I can’t talk about this anymore.”

She turned and headed upstairs. First thing tomorrow, she would go talk to Martha. She needed to know if Martha was happy about this or if she had an ally.


LEVI WAITED UNTIL his mother was upstairs before he spoke to his father. “Daed, how do I know if I’m making a mistake?” He lowered himself onto the couch and leaned his head back. His father sat down beside him.

“Your mudder was so worked up, I didn’t want to say much. But, Levi, this is a serious matter. You are walking away from a life that we believe in, one we don’t think the Englisch understand.” He paused, shaking his head. “Things have changed so much since I was a boy. Back then, outsiders would have never been allowed to be so involved in our lives, and they surely wouldn’t have attended our worship services unless for a special occasion. I’m not saying that Martha and Danielle aren’t gut people. I’m saying they aren’t like us. This is the danger that comes from mingling with those outside of our own kind. There is a reason that the Ordnung says to avoid those who are unequally yoked. Your situation is an example of this. We’ve brought this heartache upon ourselves.”

“Daed, I’ll still pray, still love God, and live by what I’ve been taught. Does everything have to change?” Levi swallowed back a lump in his throat.

His father thought for a few moments. “Everything won’t change. But much will. It’s unavoidable when you enter into a life in the Englisch world. And—I must say, sohn . . . I, too, am having a hatt time understanding why you’re doing this. I thought you and Danielle were just gut friends. When did this become a romance?”

Levi longed to tell his father the entire truth. Daed was a wise man, but instead he just said, “Not long ago.”

“Then give it some time. Make sure that it blossoms into the kind of real love that lasts a lifetime.”

Levi was quiet for a few moments, wishing he had that luxury. He and Danielle hadn’t decided when to tell everyone that she was pregnant, and he didn’t want to say anything until after they’d discussed it. “God is calling me to marry Danielle, Daed. I know it.”

His father ran a hand through his gray beard. “Just be sure. Marriage is a lifelong commitment.”


DANIELLE WAITED UNTIL after supper on Friday night before she finally told Martha and Arnold that she was pregnant. It had been almost two weeks since she’d found out. Through her tears, she also told them how Matthew had run out on his parents—and her. She hadn’t seen Levi all week, but he’d left a note in her mailbox that he’d be by tomorrow. Unlike a lot of people in the Amish community, Levi chose not to have a cell phone. He said that the bishop allowed it, but only if it was used for work. Danielle knew that lots of Amish bent that rule, but not Levi. She hoped he hadn’t changed his mind.

Martha rubbed her upper lip with her finger as she sat in her recliner listening to Danielle’s news. Danielle hoped Martha wouldn’t mention options, the way Sue had. In Danielle’s mind, there were no other choices. But Martha’s face was somber, and for once, the woman seemed to be at a loss for words. Danielle glanced at Arnold, hoping he’d be able to calm Martha down when she blew. Arnold’s expression was similar to Martha’s. Danielle held her breath and waited.

“So . . . ,” Martha finally said. “When is this baby due to arrive?”

“I haven’t been to the doctor, but I’m guessing around Christmas.” Danielle blotted her eyes with a tissue, sniffling.

“Hmm . . .” Martha looked at Arnold for a moment, then back at Danielle. “I guess we have lots to do then, don’t we? We’ll need to fix up the extra room upstairs.” She crossed one leg over the other. “Don’t cry now. We’re not going to throw you out or anything.” She smiled. “Our little family is about as untraditional as you can get. Me and Arnold married late in life, our runaway semi-adopted daughter, a big ol’ hound named Dude, and now . . .” Her smile grew. “A baby.”

Danielle started crying out of relief, and because Martha referred to her as a daughter, but also because she had more to say.

“Honey . . .” Martha lifted herself from the recliner, walked to the couch, and sat down beside Danielle. She put an arm around her and pulled her close, something Danielle could never remember her own mother doing. “It might not be the ideal situation, but a baby is a blessing.”

Danielle recalled Levi saying the same thing. “There’s more,” Danielle whispered as she eased out of Martha’s arms. “I’m going to marry Levi. He asked me, and we love each other.” She sat taller, as if that would make her more convincing.

Martha’s eyes grew round. “Do what?”

Danielle glanced at Arnold in his recliner. His eyes were also wide, and he had leaned forward in the chair.

“Levi asked me to marry him. He said he feels called by God to do this. At first I said no, but then he convinced me that it’s the right choice. And I know we’re best friends, but we love each other too, and we want to be a family, and . . .” Danielle took a breath, knowing she was rambling but wanting to have everything out in the open. “We’re going to live in that old house down the street from where his parents live. We’re going to fix it up, and—”

“Stop.” Martha stood up, walked to the fireplace, and placed both hands on the mantel. After a few long moments, she turned around and faced Danielle. “You cannot ask Levi to do this.”

Danielle’s heart almost broke. She’d thought Martha might be happy, the one person who would share her joy about being a mother. “I didn’t ask him.” She squeaked the words out. “Not at first anyway. He asked me.”

“Vera has told me that out of all her children, Levi is the most devout to the faith. And now you’re telling me that he is going to leave everything he loves to marry you, a young woman who is pregnant with someone else’s baby?”

Danielle started to sob.

“Honey, I’m not trying to hurt you, just stating a fact. Why would Levi do this?” Martha shook her head. “And why would you let him? It’s a noble gesture, but it’s a huge sacrifice. Do you realize how much?”

“Then I won’t marry him!” Danielle jumped off the couch and faced Martha.

Arnold stood up and walked between the two women. “Ladies, let’s calm down. I have something to say about all this. Everyone sit down.”

He spoke with such authority, Danielle and Martha did as instructed; Martha returned to her recliner, and Danielle went back to the couch. Arnold stayed standing, glancing back and forth between them, his eyes ultimately landing on Danielle.

“Do you love Levi, Danielle?”

She nodded.

“And he asked you to marry him?”

Danielle nodded again. “I even offered to become Amish, but Levi said no.”

Arnold smiled at Martha. “Snookums, you’re just going to have to let these young people make their own decisions. Remember, we’re not in control . . . any more than Danielle and Levi are.”

Martha folded her arms across her chest, scowling like a small child. “Yes, dear.”

Arnold sat down beside Danielle on the couch. He lifted her chin, then kissed her on the cheek. “A baby is a blessing from the Lord, so however it happened, God has chosen this path for your life. But you still have free will, Danielle. Make good decisions.”

Danielle hugged him, and by the time she eased away, Martha was on the other side of the couch, her arms outstretched. Danielle slowly fell into the woman’s arms and cried as Martha stroked her hair.

“Aw, Danielle. I love you, honey. If this is really what you and Levi want, I’ll help you however I can.”

Danielle cried harder. She’d always known that Martha loved her, but it was the first time she’d said it. “I love you too,” she whispered.

Still stroking Danielle’s hair, Martha sighed. “But ol’ Vera is gonna come unhinged. You know that, right?”


LEVI WAS AT his cousin Eli’s house first thing Saturday morning.

If anyone knew about complicated family stuff, it would be Eli. His first wife had died, and he’d raised six children by himself; then he married Katie Ann and now raised her son as his own.

“Guder mariye, Levi.” Eli pushed the front door open, and the house smelled of freshly cooked bacon and homemade biscuits. Levi stepped over the threshold.

“Guder mariye. I’m sorry to come by so early, I just wanted to know if I could talk to you for a few minutes.”

Eli grabbed his hat from the rack. “Ya. I was just heading out to the barn to load a dresser I finished and haul it to the store. Katie Ann already left with Jonas to go open the store before the Saturday rush.” He smiled, motioning with his hand for Levi to follow him. “I could use a hand loading it.”

Levi followed, closing the door behind him. Eli and Katie Ann had opened a shop at the front of their property not long after they’d gotten married a year ago. They’d named it Blessings and Such, and it had become popular with the Englisch. Eli’s daughter Frieda helped Katie Ann run the shop. Eli stayed busy building furniture and tending the land.

After they loaded the dresser onto the small flatbed trailer Eli had hooked up behind the buggy, he asked Levi what was on his mind.

Levi leaned against the fence separating the front yard from the rest of Eli’s property. “I’m getting married.”

Eli grinned. “Sarah Troyer?”

Levi knew this was going to be a common response. “Uh, nee. I’m marrying Danielle Kent.”

His cousin’s smile faded.

“The Englisch girl?” Eli pulled off his hat, scratched his forehead. “I thought I’d heard you were courting Sarah Troyer.”

Levi looked at the ground as he kicked at the dirt with one foot. “I’ve taken her to a few singings.” He looked back up at Eli. “But that’s really all.”

Eli walked to where Levi was standing and leaned against the fence beside him. Together they watched the sun rising above the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. Then Eli turned to face Levi. “Why are you marrying Danielle? Are you leaving the faith?”

Levi swallowed hard and nodded. “Ya.”

They were quiet for a few moments.

Eli turned toward the gradual glow rising behind the mountain range. “Your parents must be mighty upset, no?” He kept looking forward.

“Ya.”

Eli twisted to face Levi. “Is the girl with child?”

Levi was surprised he asked, but answered truthfully. “Ya, she is.”

Eli faced forward again. “Will she consider our ways, study the Ordnung, and join our district?”

“Nee. Her faith is . . . is not as strong as it could be.” Guilt fell over him for being ashamed of his future wife, but it didn’t change the facts. “I feel called to marry her, Eli. I think it’s the right thing to do.”

Eli turned to face him, his eyebrows narrowed. “It is the right thing to do. It takes two to make a baby, mei boy. You are responsible for this boppli and your fraa. But this is not how God intended us to do things.” He smiled briefly. “Marriage first. Then bopplis.” His smile faded. “You must now make a home for your family—there is no choice in it. However, it saddens me that this will pull you from your faith. Are you sure Danielle won’t consider converting? Maybe she needs a mentor, someone to teach her the Ordnung?”

Levi thought about how Danielle offered to do that very thing. But he knew in his heart that she wasn’t ready to make a commitment like that. “It’s not my child, Eli.” He paused. “Danielle got pregnant by an Amish man in Alamosa.”

Eli’s eyes widened. “Then let that man do the right thing. He can choose to live Amish or Englisch.” His voice grew louder.

“He told Danielle he didn’t want a family or a baby.” Levi looked at the ground again, feeling his cousin’s eyes still on him. “He ran off. Left his parents a note that he didn’t want to be Amish, and didn’t even tell Danielle good-bye.”

Eli shook his head. “Not much of a man.”

“Nee. He’s not.”

“But why does this job of marrying Danielle and raising her child fall on you?”

Levi looked up, put his hands on his hips. “It just does. I know that I’m being called by God to do this. At first Danielle refused to marry me, but she’s reconsidered, and . . .” Levi lowered his arms and hung his head, quiet for a long moment. “I’m sure that this is my path to walk. But it doesn’t mean I’m not afraid that I might be making a mistake.”

“Then don’t go through with it. At least wait until you’re certain.”

Levi swallowed hard and then shook his head. Fear and worry blocked the voice of God, and Levi knew he’d allowed himself to be consumed with both emotions lately.

Eli stroked his beard. “Why are you telling me all this?”

“You’ve been married twice. I thought that you might . . .”

“Understand? More than most?” He shook his head and cocked one bushy brow. “Nee, you are in uncharted territory, mei cousin. Even for me. Maybe you should talk to the bishop. You already told your folks?”

“Ya, Mamm’s pretty upset.” Levi paused. “I—I had wondered . . .”

“Spit it out. What is it?”

“I need to know if you love Katie Ann’s sohn as much as your other kinner?” Levi drew in a breath. “I mean, since Jonas isn’t yours.”

Eli was quiet for a long while before he pointed to the front porch. “Let’s sit.”

Levi followed him to the rockers. They each sat down, and Eli looped his thumbs beneath his suspenders.

“Levi, listen to me closely, sohn.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “Answering your question . . . ya, I lieb Jonas as much as mei other kinner. And if you wed Danielle, you will love the boppli as your very own. But this is not the issue. Leaving the faith is. If you have come to quiz my mind about loving a child, well . . . children are a blessing from God, however they might fall into our lives.” He shook his head. “But leaving to live in the Englisch world is something I’m not sure you have thought through.”

“But I’m not baptized. I have the right to choose.” Even though Levi said the words with confidence, his heart hurt as each one left his lips.

“Ya, you do. It is your choice. But I would not be a gut friend and cousin to you if I did not warn you about this big decision.” He faced Levi. “Do you love Danielle enough to give up all of this?” Eli waved a hand across the prairie in front of him, the house behind him. “A life within our community?”

Levi swallowed hard again as he recalled Danielle’s tears, the kisses they’d shared. “I love her,” he said softly. “I’m closer to her than I am to anyone.”

“But do you love her in the marriage way? Are you committed to living in the Englisch world with her, raising her child as your own, and taking care of your family?”

Levi sighed, then stood up. “I have to go. I just wanted to know if you loved Jonas as much as your other children.” He couldn’t stand to hear any more negative thoughts about what he was getting ready to do. It was hard enough. He thanked his cousin, then made his way to his buggy.

Maybe it just wasn’t in God’s plan for him to be Amish.