His Love Endures Forever

Four




LEVI HITCHED THE BUGGY UP OUTSIDE OF THE small Englisch church on the far side of town. The turn-of-the-century structure housed a small congregation of Christians on Sunday mornings, and no matter what religion you practiced, the church was a sight to see with its brightly painted stained glass windows on all sides. It had one of those historic plaques out front, and the door was never locked. Levi figured it wouldn’t hold more than thirty or forty people.

It was called Sangre de Cristo Chapel, which meant “blood of Christ” in Spanish, and the Sangre de Cristo Mountains climbed behind the church. There was a sign that hung lopsided on the outside of the door that read: “All are welcome here in the house of the Lord.”

Levi had already seen Danielle’s car outside. He eased the tall wooden door open and walked into the dimly lit church with only six rows of pews on either side. Danielle was sitting in the front row. She glanced over her shoulder.

“What are you doing here, Levi?”

He kept walking, then slid into the seat beside her. “What are you doing here?” He’d always found it ironic that Danielle came here when she was upset, since she didn’t like to talk about God. But every time he did find Danielle here, it gave him hope. Last time he’d found her here after she’d hit a bird while driving her car. “You should have seen the bird’s mate,” she’d told him as she cried. “He just stood there over the lifeless little body. When a car came by, the living bird would fly up, but then go right back down to his partner after the car passed. I killed his mate. I’m a murderer.”

Levi had done his best to comfort her then, and he hoped his words and presence would be enough to comfort her now.

“I’m testing God,” she finally said, sniffling as she stared straight ahead. Levi knew it was pointless to argue with her when she was like this, but he spoke up anyway.

“You can’t test God.”

As he expected, her head quickly spun to the right. “If He is real, then He needs to help me. He needs to bring Matthew back, make him realize that us being a family is the best thing . . . for all of us.”

Levi took a deep breath. “Did Matthew go somewhere?”

She faced forward again. “He ran away. From me. From the baby.” Then, before Levi could comment, she turned to him again and started to cry. “I’m not a bad person. I’m really not. If there was a God, He’d help me. But all this bad stuff keeps happening to me. My father died, and I loved him so much.” She lowered her head. “My mother was crazy before he died, and then got a hundred times worse after. And now . . .” She buried her head in her hands.

Levi wasn’t sure what to say.

“I thought Matthew loved me, or I would have never . . .”

She kept her head buried in her hands. Levi wanted to reach an arm around her, but he sat still and just listened. “Now I’m an eighteen-year-old with a baby on the way, with no boyfriend or husband. I’m alone.” She cried harder.

“You know Martha and Arnold love you, Danielle. Why don’t you just tell them?”

She shook her head. “It’s going to be such a burden for them. And Martha is going to yell at me.”

“You don’t know that. And . . . a child isn’t a burden. A child is a blessing.”

They were quiet for a few moments, both staring past the small pulpit to where Jesus hung on a simple wooden cross at the front of the church. Levi’s heart was beating faster than ever.

“Have you told anyone that you’re pregnant?” he asked.

She shook her head, and Levi worried he might pass out. He opened his mouth, then shut it again. He did that two more times before the words finally found their way out.

“Marry me, Danielle.” He couldn’t even look at her, knowing she would think it was crazy. But Levi had thought about the dream and the man in the store all day. God was calling him to marry Danielle. He knew it. It hurt him to know that he would be leaving his people, not baptized into the faith. But he couldn’t take an Englisch fraa and then be baptized Amish. The bishop would never allow it. It was the sacrifice God was asking of him.

Danielle slowly turned to face him, and a smile spread across her face. She must be considering it, he thought. Until she burst out laughing.

“Levi! Are you out of your mind?”

“I thought you’d say that,” he said as relief flooded over him. He’d done what God called him to do. He certainly couldn’t force her to marry him.

“What would make you ask me that? I mean, I love you and all . . . but you know what I mean.” Danielle playfully slapped him on the arm, but he was still recovering from her words. She loves me? It was nice to hear, since he loved her too. But he loved his sister, his mother, his father, brother, and so on. There were all kinds of love, and his and Danielle’s wasn’t the marrying kind.

“I don’t want you to have to raise the boppli, I mean baby, all on your own. I just thought . . .” He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

She lifted her head and gazed into his eyes. “You’re sweet, Levi. Some girl will be very lucky to have you, but you won’t be able to be my best friend anymore.” She paused, frowning. “And that will be hard. Maybe Sarah Troyer?”

Levi shook his head. “Nee. I don’t think so.” He frowned. He liked Sarah well enough, but he couldn’t picture them like that. “So . . . if you would have married Matthew, then we wouldn’t have been friends anymore?”

“I would like to think we could have stayed friends, but I guess it would have changed between us some.” She turned to face him. “Don’t you think?”

“I guess so.”

They were quiet for a while, and Levi stifled a yawn. “How long do you plan on sitting here?”

“I told you. I’m testing God to see if He’ll fix things. If He’s real, then He can fix everything.”

“Danielle . . .” He let out a heavy sigh. There was no way for him to educate Danielle about the Lord in one night. It would take a lifetime of learning, or at the least more time than Danielle was willing to devote.

They both turned around when they heard the door close behind them. A man came down the aisle carrying a broom and a dustpan.

“Sorry to disturb you, folks,” he said as he waved. “Just doing a little cleanup.”

Levi waved back, and he and Danielle watched the man start pulling cobwebs out of the corners of the front of the church—big clusters of dust that Levi didn’t remember seeing earlier. But the light was dim, and he hadn’t been studying the condition of the old church.

“God fixes everything in His time,” Levi finally whispered. “He always has a plan.” He knew Danielle would fire back with something, and his mother’s words about being unequally yoked flew back into his mind. How could he have possibly thought God was calling him to marry her?

To Levi’s surprise, Danielle didn’t say anything. Her eyes were fixed on the man clearing the cobwebs from the corner. “Do you know him?” she asked, keeping her eyes straight ahead.

Levi squinted to see better in the poorly lit area. “Nee, I don’t think so. Do you?”

She spoke softly. “I—I’m not sure.” After a brief pause, she added, “Maybe. I don’t know.” She shrugged before she leaned her head against his shoulder and wrapped her hand around his arm. The man turned and came back down the aisle toward them, his eyes aglow in the dim lighting. It was then that Levi realized he recognized the man.

Except last time Levi saw the fellow, he was holding a paddle in his hand, not a broomstick. The man winked at Levi on his way out of the church.


DANIELLE CLUNG TO Levi like a life vest after having the strangest feeling she’d ever had in her life. It was the craziest idea, marrying Levi.

Or was it?

“Levi?”

“Ya?”

“What if . . . what if we did get married?”

She eased away from him and looked up just in time to see his eyes close for a moment as he swallowed hard. Gasping, she asked, “Oh no. Did you already change your mind?”

“Uh, no . . . no, I guess not. I mean no.” He shook his head, rubbed his chin, then stared into her eyes. “What made you change your mind?”

“I don’t know.” She lowered her head. “Never mind, Levi. I can’t marry you.” She looked up at him, unable to deny that she loved him, but she loved him enough not to ruin his life. “You’re my best friend, and I know we love each other. But not in that way. And you would have to leave the Amish faith. I know how important that is to you.”

Levi didn’t say anything.

She was pretty sure he was relieved. Levi was such a good person. He’d only offered because he felt like it was the right thing to do, so that the baby would have a father.

Levi twisted in his seat to face her. He scratched his forehead. “Then why were you reconsidering?”

She opened her mouth to respond, then closed it. No, it’s crazy . . . “Why’d you ask me in the first place?” She turned to him and searched his gorgeous brown eyes, noticing his slightly wind-bronzed face stretched over high cheekbones. She wondered if he knew how handsome he was.

Levi took a long time to answer. “I think I am supposed to marry you.”

“Supposed to?” Danielle grunted. “Gee, Levi. Thanks. What every girl wants to hear.”

“Nee, well, maybe that wasn’t the right word.” He gazed into her eyes. “Please. Tell me why you were reconsidering it.”

“I, uh . . . I thought I heard . . . something.” Danielle couldn’t explain it. It was a voice in her head she didn’t recognize, but yet familiar at the same time.

“What?” Levi’s expression tightened. “Tell me.”

“I thought I heard someone say that I should marry you. Maybe I’m losing it. Maybe the man cleaning the cobwebs was just mumbling or something.” She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Levi dropped to one knee in front of her and reached for her hand. “Danielle, I think God is speaking to us. I had a dream that I should marry you, and now you have the same feeling. The Lord is speaking to us. Marry me, Danielle.”

Danielle blinked back tears as she cupped Levi’s cheek in her hand. “You are a good person, Levi. Way better than me. And I love you.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “But there is no way that I’ll marry you.”

Once again, Danielle couldn’t tell if it was pain or relief that clouded Levi’s expression. Levi was so religious that if he felt like God was calling him to marry her, then he’d try to persuade her for sure. It was her job to keep things in perspective, to protect them both, no matter what weird feeling she’d had come over her.

“Danielle,” Levi sighed, “I really think—”

“No, Levi.” Danielle put a finger to his lips. “You will marry a nice Amish girl. Someone even better than Sarah, if she’s not the right girl for you. And have lots of little Amish children. You’ve done what you thought was right, asking me to marry you.” She shook her head. “And I almost went for it because you are such a wonderful person. But I can’t do that to you.”

Levi didn’t say anything, which confirmed for Danielle that he was relieved. He got up and sat down beside her again. “Martha is worried about you,” he said.

“Uh-oh. I should have called her, I guess. Did she send you looking for me?”

“Nee, but she came by our haus wanting to know if I knew where you were.”

“I guess I better go home.” She rose and hugged herself, feeling a chill in the air without his big body beside her. “Levi, it’s freezing this time of night. You shouldn’t have come.”

“That’s what friends do.” Levi shrugged as one corner of his mouth curled down.

“Oh, don’t act like your feelings are hurt. I know you’re glad to be officially off the hook.” She forced a smile as she playfully pushed a finger against his muscular chest, wishing things were different. She’d loved Matthew in a different way than she loved Levi. Mostly because she’d just never considered a relationship with Levi. He didn’t want to leave the Amish district the way Matthew had always wanted to. Danielle hadn’t ever felt guilty about her relationship with Matthew, that she was pulling him away from his people. If anything, she’d thought she was supporting him as he sought his way out.

“C’mon,” she said, offering him a hand. “You better go. It’s just going to get colder.”

Levi stood up and gave her a long, tender hug. He towered over her by almost a foot. Sarah Troyer—or whoever Levi chose as a wife—would be a lucky girl. Levi was handsome, caring, and someday he’d make a great husband and father. For someone . . .


LEVI PULLED AWAY from Danielle, dressed in her blue jeans and long-sleeved white shirt, and helped her put on her navy jacket. He recalled the way Danielle used to dress— before Martha made her clean up her act. It used to make Levi uncomfortable when Danielle showed her midriff in the warmer months, or when she’d worn something overly revealing. They’d still become friends, but Levi was glad that Danielle opted for more conservative clothing over time. But right now, he couldn’t keep from staring at her belly. It seemed so odd that a new life was growing inside of her. They started walking down the aisle of the church toward the back. Levi silently prayed. He thanked God that Danielle was safe and asked the Lord to guide her as she entered this new time in her life. He prayed for the boppli too.

He pulled his coat tighter around him and pushed his hat down firmly on his head as Danielle opened the door and they entered the cold.

“I feel bad that I’m getting into a car with a heater, and you’ll be driving home in the buggy.” Danielle’s breath clouded in front of her, and Levi wished he was getting into the car with her.

“I’m used to it,” he said as he waited for her to fish her keys from her pocket. There was four years difference in their ages, but at that moment, Danielle had never looked younger to him. She was going to have hard times ahead, but Levi knew that Martha and Arnold would be there for her and the baby. For the hundredth time, he wondered what kind of man Matthew Lapp could be to run out on her.

They’d only taken a few steps from the church when Levi stopped and slowly turned around.

“Levi? What are you doing?” Danielle tugged on the arm of his coat, but Levi kept his eyes on the tiny church as the dim light filtered through the stained glass windows. He felt an overwhelming urge that God was encouraging him to ask again. He resisted, clearer than ever about what he’d be giving up—the Amish life he’d always wanted. But the feeling was not going away; it was only getting stronger. And that meant one thing. God.

As they stood at the steps of the Sangre de Cristo Chapel, Levi turned to Danielle. “I’m going to marry you. And I think we should get married in this church.”

“Levi, we’ve been through all this, and—”

“We should get married in three weeks.” He spoke with as much authority as he could muster up amidst his own heavy reservations.

“No! I’m not marrying you. I can’t be Amish, Levi.”

“I know that. We’ll live Englisch and be a family.” He grabbed her shoulders. “Please, Danielle. I really believe God wants us to get married. I know you feel it too.”

Danielle’s jaw dropped for a moment, and then she clamped it shut. “No. I don’t. I don’t know what I felt. I—I’m just confused. Matthew just ran off and left me. I’m not even over that.” He straightened and her face softened, as if she were aware she might be hurting him. “Look. You’re my best friend, Levi. And what you’re trying to do is admirable. But I will not let you ruin your life like this.”

“Who says it’ll ruin my life?”

“I do!” Danielle slid past him and ran to her car.

Levi let her go, watching as she drove away, but then felt compelled to walk back into the church. He sat in the first pew and started to pray. Levi had been so sure of what God wanted from him.

But then why hadn’t He made it as clear to Danielle?


DANIELLE STARTED APOLOGIZING the minute she walked into the den where Martha and Arnold were sitting, but stopped abruptly.

“Wow! That’s a big dog!” She walked to the enormous tan and black animal lying at Arnold’s feet. She squatted and scratched his ears. “What’s your name?”

Martha took off her reading glasses and closed the book she was reading. “That’s Dude, and where’ve you been?”

Danielle looked up at Arnold. “He’s so great, Arnold. And so big.” She giggled when Dude stood up and knocked her from her squatting position onto her behind. Then the dog tried to crawl into her lap. “Easy there, big guy.” She nuzzled up to him and let him lick her face. She turned to Martha. “I’m sorry. I should have called.”

“Sue said you canceled your plans, and we’ve been worried. I don’t pay for a cell phone for you just so you can keep it turned off.” Martha crossed her legs as she folded her arms across her chest.

“I know. I’m sorry. Matthew and I broke up, and I wanted to go to his house to talk to him one more time.”

Martha lowered her hands into her lap, her expression softening. “I’m sorry, honey. Is that why you’ve been so upset?”

Danielle nodded. “Yeah, I just needed some time, and I needed to know if it was really over between us before I said anything. And it is.”

“So you talked to him, but there’s no chance of a reconciliation?” Martha raised an eyebrow.

“He wasn’t there, but, uh, no. There’s no chance of us getting back together. He . . .” Danielle paused, swallowed hard. “He actually left town to go to his cousin’s house in Indiana. He’s leaving the Amish faith.”

“Oh boy. I bet his folks are beside themselves. And here all this time, they probably thought all they had to worry about was you stealing their son away.” Martha shook her head. “I’m sorry you’re hurt, honey, but God must have another plan for you.”

“I guess.” Danielle knew it was the best response; otherwise Martha would try to push a conversation about God. Again.

“I always thought that if you were going to date an Amish boy, that Levi Detweiler would be quite the catch.” Martha cackled, slapping a hand to her leg. “Ol’ Vera would have a heart attack if she ever heard me say that.”

Arnold scratched Dude behind the ears. “Why are you attracted to these Amish fellows anyway?”

Danielle shrugged. “I didn’t go out looking for an Amish guy to date.” It was just a weird coincidence. “But Levi did . . .” She stopped, her heart beating hard. She’d almost told Martha that Levi asked her to marry him, but Danielle was still sorting out her own feelings, not ready to deal with Martha’s reaction to that news.

Shouldn’t I be mourning the loss of my relationship with Matthew? But with each passing second, Matthew seemed further removed, and not just geographically.

“What’s that about Levi?” Martha asked as she reached for the remote and turned the television down.

“Uh, Levi found me tonight.”

“Where? I thought we looked for you in all your usual places.”

Danielle avoided Martha’s eyes as she stood up and moved to the couch. Martha always sat in her old tan recliner, and they’d bought Arnold one of his own shortly after they were married. Danielle sat on the old red and gold couch across from them. “Don’t make a big deal about this, but sometimes I go to that little church in town, the one with the stained glass windows.”

Martha smiled a little as she lifted her chin. “Do ya now?”

“I asked you to not make a big deal over it. It’s just that it’s quiet, and I like to go there to think.” Danielle’s heart was pounding as she wondered if she should just tell Martha and Arnold everything. Now. But thoughts of Levi dominated. His sweet face, his strong arms around her . . . his offer to marry her. Was he crazy? Levi was the most religious person she knew, and she couldn’t imagine him leaving the Amish for a life with her. Even though she’d temporarily lost her mind and almost agreed to his proposal.

She leaned her head back against the couch when Martha seemed to tune in to the television program with Arnold. Closing her eyes, she tried to picture herself with Levi . . . the two of them, a family, raising a baby. More than once, she’d wanted Levi to kiss her, but she’d known that would change the way things were between them. But now she found herself envisioning his lips on hers. What would it be like to kiss her best friend?