His Love Endures Forever

Twenty-One




SARAH EASED HER BUGGY PAST THE CHILDREN walking with their parents toward a nearby subdivision to ask for candy, something the Englisch did the last day of every October. Sarah’s family and the other Amish in the district didn’t participate in Halloween, and most of the area Englisch knew not to come to their homes asking for treats. Sarah recalled several children knocking on their door a few years ago dressed as a ghost, a devil, and some sort of fancy princess. Her father had tried to ignore the knock, but eventually her mother answered the door and gave them each a few coins, which seemed to please the children. When she’d been young, she’d wished she could participate and gather candy with the Englisch children.

Once she’d safely passed the children and their parents, she flicked the reins and picked up the pace, thankful it wasn’t snowing this afternoon. The temperature was hovering around thirty, but the sun shined brightly. She was bundled up in her heavy winter coat and wearing her warmest black tights under a blue dress. She clicked her tongue, and the horse picked up speed, probably as anxious as she to get home before dark.

A few minutes later, she passed by the Sangre de Cristo Chapel and knew it to be the Englisch church where Levi and Danielle had married. Her heart still ached at the thought of losing Levi to Danielle, and while she’d examined her heart for any remorse in her attempt to sway him, she never discovered any measure of guilt. She’d seen Levi at worship service, and he was always polite, but distant. She knew from others that Danielle was on bed rest and unable to attend their worship. On the surface, Vera was polite as well, but pretty cold when they had any time together. It left Sarah feeling betrayed. She’d heard that Levi’s mother spent a lot of time at Levi and Danielle’s—so apparently she’d made her peace with the girl, leaving Sarah to look like the villain.

The old woman, Martha—she didn’t even try to be polite, huffing at Sarah when she saw her for the first time last week at worship service, hobbling in on crutches. Sarah didn’t think the grumpy woman belonged among their people anyway. It all seemed so unfair to Sarah. She’d lived her entire life according to the Ordnung. Despite her prayers, bitterness crept over her every time she thought about it all or saw one of them. It was unnerving to see Levi attending Amish worship, yet living as an Englischer with his pregnant wife. He was trying to have it both ways, and God would surely punish him for that. A part of Sarah hoped so.

She slowed the buggy when she passed a man walking on the shoulder of the road. She wasn’t one to pick up a stranger, but this man looked Amish. He wore a black felt hat common to their people, and a long black coat, his hands stuffed deep into the pockets, his head tucked. Awfully cold to be walking this time of day. Unless you were one of the children and their parents weathering the cold for treats.

She eased the buggy to a stop and twisted to see him walking faster toward her. Her stomach lurched when she saw his face, flushed a rosy red from the wind. He wasn’t clean-shaven like an unmarried man, nor did he have the traditional beard of a husband. He looked like he just hadn’t shaved recently, with scraggly whiskers, and as she passed him, Sarah glanced over her shoulder to see if he had bobbed bangs on his forehead. It didn’t look like it. She turned around, prepared to move along, when he yelled at her.

“Wait! Please wait!”

Her heart was beating faster as she glanced back again. He was smiling and running toward her. “Please! Wait!”

Sarah paused, unsure what to do. His voice sounded desperate, and she knew it would be dark soon, the temperatures dipping into the teens. What if he was a visiting relative of one of their own and Sarah left him on the side of the road? Her heart still beating fast in her chest, she swallowed hard and waited.

“Wie bischt! Danki for stopping.” The young man was about her age, and when he smiled, his green eyes glowed.

Relief flooded over her as she heard his use of their dialect, even through chattering teeth. And she couldn’t help but return a smile when she looked at his handsome face. “Where can I carry you?”

He climbed into the buggy and quickly began warming his hands on the portable heater blowing in the seat in between them. “Ach, I’m not sure.”

Sarah’s heart thumped inside her chest as she once again questioned if she should have stopped for this stranger. “Uh . . .” She thought for a moment. “Do you live near here?”

“Not too far, in Alamosa. But I know that’s too far for you to travel by buggy this late at night. Do you know anyone near here, a driver I could hire to get me there?”

“There’s a man named Wayne who lives up the road a bit. He might be able to take you to Alamosa. I can give you a ride to his haus.”

“Danki, danki. That would be gut.”

Sarah was again relieved to hear the familiar dialect. “Where are you coming from?”

“I’ve been a long way from home, hitching rides to get back. But my latest ride was only going as far as Canaan, so if you hadn’t come along, I might have frozen to death.”

Sarah stopped breathing for a moment, again wondering about this fellow. None of their people—that she knew of— would hitch a ride anywhere. But then he smiled again, putting her heart at ease a little. “I’m glad to be of help.” She moved the reins into her left hand and extended her right. “I’m Sarah Troyer.” Sarah trembled as they shook hands.

“Nice to meet you, Sarah. I’m Matthew. Matthew Lapp.”

He was frightfully handsome—the handsomest Amish man she’d ever met. A shiver of excitement ran down her back and she wondered if he had a girl waiting in Alamosa for him. But even as she thought about it, his name kept echoing in her mind. Matthew, Matthew Lapp, from Alamosa. Matthew Lapp!

Sarah felt a slow smile grow across her face. After all this time, God had seen fit to punish Levi and Danielle for their poor choices.

LEVI LAY IN bed with Danielle, his ear against her stomach as Joshua squirmed beneath him. The doctor had said that Danielle was most likely going to deliver early. She was slightly dilated, and even though Levi didn’t quite know what that meant, he did understand that the baby would be coming sooner than they’d hoped. More than ever, the doctor had stressed that Danielle needed to stay in bed and take it easy.

This morning they were enjoying a lazy Sunday morning since it wasn’t a worship day. For once, neither Vera nor Martha was at the house, and it felt nice to be alone.

“I’m so tired of being in this bed.” Danielle shifted slightly beneath him.

“I know. But you heard the doctor. You need to keep Joshua inside at least another four weeks if you can.”

“I’m so fat.” Danielle turned her head against the pillow.

“You’re beautiful.” He lifted up, kissed her, then rolled over onto his side, but he kept his hand on her belly. He couldn’t wait until Joshua was born. Levi didn’t think the baby could be any more his own if he’d actually fathered him. Levi knew that he’d been right to heed the voice of the Lord, to follow the calling to marry Danielle. They were so in love, so happy. And Joshua would complete their family . . . at least until they were settled enough to enjoy having even more kinner.

Levi’s father, his cousin Eli, Jacob, David, and lots of other members of the Amish community had visited and helped Levi do more repairs to the house. They’d ended up using some low-odor paint after all, and Danielle and Levi had spent two nights with Emily and David while the house aired out. Jacob had also helped Levi put in new counters in the kitchen and a new sink in the bathroom since the old one leaked around the base. And Danielle had found the Lord that snowy night . . . Life seemed so perfect, and Levi thanked God repeatedly for His grace and love.

I’m a blessed man. Thank You, Lord.


THE LAST THING Vera expected on her quiet Sunday was for Sarah to show up on her doorstep. Betsy was at Vera’s side when she answered the door, and Elam was reading a farming magazine.

“Wie bischt, Vera?” Sarah smiled as she handed Vera a Tupperware container. “These are from Mamm. She made a huge batch of raisin puff cookies for the bake sale yesterday, and there are lots left. She asked me to drop some off for you.”

“How nice of your mudder. Danki.” Vera accepted the cookies, hoping she didn’t have to invite Sarah in. Maybe it was Vera’s own guilt that made it difficult to be around the girl. After all, she’d encouraged Sarah to talk Levi out of the marriage. Now, when she thought about how happy Levi and Danielle were, she was reminded of the un-Christian way she’d behaved. And nothing was a bigger reminder to her than Sarah.

Sarah folded her hands in front of her black jacket and her teeth chattered.

Vera eased Betsy back with her free hand. “Kumm in, warm yourself by the fire.”

“Danki.” Sarah removed her coat and bonnet and hung them on the rack by the door as Vera forced a smile.

“It’s too cold to be driving around today, Sarah.” Elam pulled off his reading glasses and set the magazine on the coffee table in front of him.

“It’s not so bad. Lots of sunshine, and not much of a breeze.” Sarah sat down in one of the rocking chairs across the room as Betsy sat down in the other one. Vera held her breath, hoping Betsy behaved, but her daughter just stared at Sarah. Vera couldn’t help but sense that there was some other reason for Sarah’s visit. She hoped Sarah didn’t want to quiz her about Levi and Danielle. Her son’s own excitement about the imminent arrival fueled Vera’s, and she knew Levi was going to be a wonderful father. It was still far from the perfect situation since they weren’t all Amish, but it almost felt like they were sometimes, since they attended worship and lived in a house without electricity and most modern conveniences.

“Can I get you some hot cocoa?” Vera wiped at some flour on her black apron. She’d just finished two loaves of bread before Sarah arrived.

“Danki. That would be gut.”

“Me too, please, Mamm!” Betsy kicked the rocker in motion, still staring at Sarah. Vera hesitated to leave Betsy with Sarah, but Elam gave Vera a nod, silently telling her he’d keep an eye on their precocious young daughter.

Vera was pouring cocoa into two mugs when she heard footsteps coming into the kitchen. She turned to see Sarah walk to the kitchen table and pull out a chair. Vera set her cup down in front of her.

“I’ll be right back.” Vera delivered Betsy’s cocoa, then went back into the kitchen, taking a seat across the table from Sarah, wondering what was on the young woman’s mind. Clearly, she wanted to discuss something in private.

Sarah sipped from her cocoa, and Vera felt herself tensing, wondering if perhaps the girl had come to apologize.

“Is there something you have to say, Sarah?”

“Not really.” Sarah cocked her head to one side. “I mostly came to see how you were doing.”

Vera frowned a little in confusion. “I’m doing gut. Very gut. Why?”

Sarah reached over and put her hand on Vera’s, and Vera fought the urge to pull away. “I was just concerned when I heard that Matthew Lapp was back in town. I wasn’t sure if he was going to cause problems for Levi and Danielle.” Sarah shrugged, keeping her eyes on Vera.

Vera swallowed hard as she eased her hand from beneath Sarah’s. “He—he’s back?”

“Ya. I saw him yesterday. He’s back in Alamosa with his parents.”

“To stay?” Vera avoided Sarah’s eyes as she thought about what this might mean for Levi and Danielle. Levi talked about “their” baby all the time, and Levi often referred to Vera as the baby’s grandmother, something she’d gotten used to. Would all of that change if Matthew was back and going to be an active part of their lives? That would make Anna Marie the grandmother, not Vera . . .

“I don’t know.” Sarah shook her head. “I gave him a ride yesterday to Wayne’s haus, and then Wayne carted him to his folks’ in Alamosa. I didn’t mention anything, since he didn’t. But you’d told me that he knew about the boppli before he left. I assume that’s why he’s returned.”

Vera was lost in her thoughts, protective instincts kicking in for Levi. Her son had built a crib, prepared the baby’s room, been at the doctor’s visits, and planned to be the father to the child. Could Matthew just swoop back into their lives and stake claim to Joshua? Of course he could. Vera’s heart ached. Logically, she knew that Matthew should be a part of Joshua’s life, but they’d all gotten used to him not being around.

“Danki for telling me.” Vera eyed Sarah and wanted to smack the smug grin from her face. Once again, Sarah was stirring up trouble. They would have found out eventually anyway, but did the girl have to revel in it?

“It wonders me what will happen now.” Sarah shook her head before taking another sip of her cocoa.

“Nothing will change,” Vera insisted. “A child can’t have too much love.” She heard herself say the words, but found herself wishing that Matthew hadn’t returned. For Levi’s sake.

Sarah stood up, a self-satisfied expression still on her face. “I’m sure it won’t. Danki, Vera, for the cocoa. I best be delivering the rest of the cookies before it gets too late.”

Vera followed Sarah to the door, and as Sarah bundled in her coat and bonnet, she told Betsy and Elam good-bye, then turned to Vera and gave her a hug. “I’m sorry to give you such news.”

No, you’re not. Vera eased away and only nodded before she closed the door behind Sarah.

Vera was attached to a baby who wasn’t even born, a child who wasn’t biologically her grandchild. Why had she opened her heart like that? She thought about Anna Marie’s visit, when she’d used the words custody and visitation. She watched from the window as Sarah led her horse down the driveway, but turned around when Betsy spoke.

“I don’t like her.”

“Betsy. Don’t say things like that.” She went to the couch and sat beside Elam, who was reading his magazine again.

“You don’t like her either.” Betsy put her cocoa down on the table beside the rocker and pushed with her slippers against the floor.

Elam raised his eyes above his gold-rimmed glasses. “Betsy, you heard your mother. We don’t talk like that about others.”

Vera was quiet. She was wondering if she should break this news to Levi and Danielle. Or maybe they already knew? She hadn’t had time to completely gather her thoughts when she heard another buggy pulling in. What now?

She was relieved to see it was Emily, although a bit surprised.

Vera pulled her into a hug after she shed her winter coat, relieved for the distraction. “What brings you here this evening? Where’s David?”

Her daughter walked to Elam, kissed him on the cheek, then also kissed Betsy before she sat down in one of the rockers. “He’s at Lillian and Samuel’s, talking to them.”

Vera’s heart sank. Had Emily lost the baby? It must be important. “What’s wrong?”

“Ach, Mamm. Everything is fine with the boppli.” Emily folded her hands across her stomach. She wasn’t even showing yet, but relief fell over Vera.

She put a hand to her chest and allowed herself to breathe. “Thank You, Lord.” She paused. “But you came to talk to us about something, ya?”

Emily nodded as she crossed her legs. “I wanted to let you know that David and I are going to be traveling to Lancaster County soon.”

Vera frowned. “Why? And when? Thanksgiving will be here soon.”

“We’re going to go in a couple of weeks, so we won’t be here for Thanksgiving, Mamm.”

Elam closed the magazine again, pulling off his glasses. “Dochder, is there a problem?”

Lillian, Samuel, David, Anna, and Elizabeth had all moved to Canaan from Lancaster County after Lillian’s grandfather had left them a large chunk of land in the valley.

Emily sighed. “Ya, I guess you could say there is a problem. Remember hearing about David’s Onkel Noah? He’s Samuel’s brother, the one who gave David a kidney.”

“Ya, ya.” Vera sat down next to Elam, leaning forward. “What about, him?”

“Well . . .” Emily shook her head. “There is a new bishop in town. David said that Bishop Ebersol had been the bishop for David’s entire life, but he died this past winter. Remember how upset David, Lillian, and Samuel were because they weren’t able to travel to the funeral?”

Vera nodded as she recalled the bad weather in Colorado during that week.

“Anyway, the new bishop is very strict, and he’s changing everything in the district. Things that have always been allowed are no longer acceptable, and everyone’s upset.”

Vera scratched her forehead. “But why are you and David traveling there now? I don’t understand.”

“David’s Onkel Noah runs a clinic in Paradise, and all the Amish have gone to him for years. David says he is a kind, wonderful man. But the new bishop has now banned anyone from going to Noah’s clinic since he isn’t Amish.”

“That doesn’t make sense. We all use Englisch doctors. And I wouldn’t think it would be any different there.” The Amish always tried to utilize an herbal doctor before turning to traditional Englisch medicine, but for many years they’d been going to Englisch doctors when that failed.

“Noah was shunned years ago. The new bishop said that everyone must practice the ban, even though it hasn’t been practiced against Noah for a long time.”

Elam spoke up. “What difference can David make with a visit?”

Emily shrugged. “We’re not sure. But David loves his Onkel Noah very much, and he wants to try to help somehow. To talk to the bishop, maybe make him understand how Noah saved his life, and how he’s saved the lives of many of the Amish there.”

Vera shook her head. “You’re pregnant and shouldn’t be traveling.”

“Mamm, I’m early into my pregnancy, and the doctor says I’m fine. We’ll be staying with David’s ‘Auntie’ Rebecca and her family. It’s a chance for me to meet a lot of David’s family.”

“Why do you have to go before the holidays? And you know your bruder’s baby . . .” Vera paused, pressing her lips together as she recalled Sarah’s visit. “The baby is coming in a few weeks.”

“I know, and I’ll hate to miss that, but David is anxious to go see if he can help Noah.” She stopped rocking and crossed her legs again.

Vera wasn’t sure how David could make a difference, but her son-in-law was a gut man with a huge heart. “I understand. How long will you be gone?”

“We don’t know.”

“You have to tend to your own health above all else, and that of the boppli.” Elam pushed himself to the edge of the couch, and Vera was glad to hear him speak her thoughts.

“I know, Daed. It comforts me, given that Noah is a doctor. Plus, I don’t think there will be any problems. I’m not even having morning sickness anymore.”

Vera understood her daughter’s need to support her husband, as it should be, but her thoughts wandered from Emily’s babe to Danielle’s, and then to the news at hand.

Was it her responsibility to warn them that Matthew was back?