“You don’t think he would do anything bad, though?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. Remembering what he had been like the night at the beachfront, I knew there was a sinister side to him, one which was reluctant to be anything less than the one in control. And whilst, like many girls, I had read my fair share of books with hot and sexy alpha guys, this reality wasn’t living up to the fantasy.
“Maybe you should tell campus security?”
“Tell them what? There’s a boy who wants to go out with me and he bought me some flowers? There’s nothing else to tell. Maybe it’s just in my imagination.”
“That’s bullshit, Neve, and you know it. What about your personal tutor? If you’re scared, you have to tell someone. Promise me you will.” I knew her concern was based on her own experience last year; after all, if she had told someone the first time Rob attacked her, things might not have panned out the way they did. But this wasn’t anything like that. Garrett was annoying, but he wasn’t going to attack me.
“Okay, I’ll talk to them this week,” I promised, sure she couldn’t see my crossed fingers within the Skype screen. “Can we talk about something else now?”
“Are you feeling down? Could do with a pick-me-up?” Cass’s sing-song voice was an abrupt shift in mood.
“Umm, yeah, I suppose so. Why?”
“I think it’s open-the-box time!” Her smile beamed at me across the miles of ether. My facial expression belied my incomprehension. “The box! You know, the box I gave you when you came home!” I looked over to the corner of my room at the said box, sitting next to the pile of pebbles.
“Oh, that box!”
“Yes, that box. Now hang up, open the box and follow the instructions. Ring me back in ten minutes and we can start.” Her strange instructions were followed by the monotone of a disconnected line.
I sat the box on my bed, wondering what I would find inside. After carefully unwrapping it, I took off the lid and smiled. Inside was a selection of items intended to give me a reminder of home and, especially, time spent with Cass.
I put the rainbow-coloured socks with toes on; we always joked that socks were the only thing we could share, given the difference in our sizes. I lit the vanilla candle, breathing in the scent Mum always chose for home. I put the family size bag of Minstrels to one side, ready to enjoy whilst watching the DVD which was the only thing left in the box: Ella Enchanted. Just seeing the cover took me back to being ten years old again. Cass and I had gone to see the film at the cinema and had become obsessed with both the film and Hugh Dancy. I swear the only DVD we watched for close to a year was that film. We knew every single word; I had even written it out as a script in an old exercise book somewhere. I grinned and picked up my phone.
“You absolute frickin’ superstar!”
Cass and I hit play at the same time, watching the film in synchronisation, even across the miles which separated us. We sang along together, swooned over Prince Char and cheered on ass-kicking Ella. Just like the old days, we muted the final, cringe-worthy song and dance number.
“That was ace. Thank you so much!” Even though I felt slightly sick after devouring the whole packet of Minstrels, I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt so happy. It certainly wasn’t since before Jake had ended things.
“I told you we’d manage, being so far apart.” Cass had intended her words to make me feel better, but they’d done the opposite.
“Why couldn’t Jake see that, then?” I asked.
“Because he’s a bloke?” she joked before her more serious response. “Because we’ve been friends for years. We’ve survived worse than this. So we know we’ll be okay. You and Jake don’t have the security blanket of that history. And he has all the crap of his family to contend with. That’s why.” Her words made sense, but they didn’t make the Jake-shaped hole in my heart any easier to deal with.
“It hurts, Cass,” I admitted.
“I know and I wish I could make it better. Can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah?” I wondered where she was going with this.
“When I last saw you, you said you could never forgive him. But do you mean that? Really? What if it was him trying to make things right with you today, rather than Garrett?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered.
“I think you do.” She paused. “I love you to bits, Neve, but sometimes you can be too stubborn for your own good. I think you still love him and want him back. But you’re too scared to admit it.” Only Cass could get away with such honesty.
“Yes,” was all I could muster. Finally admitting the truth was like unburdening myself.
I loved Jake.
I still loved Jake.
I would always love Jake.
“Well, do something about it then.”