“’Course we do, lad. You’re the best worker I’ve ever had and I couldn’t think more highly of you. I’m getting on and know I wouldn’t be able to keep the business going without you, Jake. When he was little, I had my hopes pinned on Liam but look what he’s turned out like. And he hasn’t got half the excuses you would have to go off the rails.” The tell-tale burning at the back of my throat tells me this could get emotional and I try to swallow the tears. Sophie comes back in, tea-towel in hand, and perches on the arm of Bill’s chair.
“It will be lovely having someone else around the house, Jake. We would love to have you. The spare room just needs a few boxes moving out, that’s all. There’s a bed and other bits and pieces in there.”
“I can’t believe this.” I run my hands over my face, unsure of what to do. I want to hug and kiss them both, but know that is probably a line they wouldn’t appreciate me crossing.
“Well, believe it, kid. The room’s yours, if you want it. I’m sure Sophie will throw in a few dinners, as well,” he adds, smiling up at her.
“How much rent do you want?” Remembering the cost of the bedsit, I know how much I can afford.
“Rent? We don’t want rent. We want to help you out. We care, Jake. I don’t want your money.” The tears fill my eyes and Sophie walks over, hugging me to her chest.
“Come on, now. It’ll all be okay. Let’s go up and sort those boxes.” Following her out, I take a look back at Bill. He’s sitting with a huge smile on his face and I silently thank whatever force of life it is that brought him into my life.
Lying on clean bedding later that evening, I pick up my phone. Other than a couple of texts from Grace, it has been silent all day. No reply from Mum and I’m disappointed but not surprised.
Me: You OK?
Grace: Yeah. All moved in now?
Me: Yes. Got more space… and less hassle!
Grace: That’s good ?
Me: What’s going on there?
Grace: They’ve gone out so it’s just me and Josh?
Me: Good. Meet tomorrow after work?
Grace: YES! YES! YES!
Me: OK… calm down! Costa at 5?
Grace: I CAN’T WAIT! Love you xx
Me: Love u 2. See u at 5 xx
Knowing Grace was safe and that I’ll be seeing her tomorrow, I lie back and let my mind wander to Neve. I try not to dwell on memories of cheeky texts she’d send me whilst she was in classes, or the increasingly sexy ones we’d send each other late at night. I refuse to go back and re-read them. I know the limits to my self-control.
I wonder what she’s doing, how she’s coping. Does she still think of it as coping? Or is she living? I wish I had the balls to ring Flynn and ask for every gory detail. A part of me wants her to be struggling, to be unhappy. That’s how fucked-up I am. But the bigger part wants her to be happy, or at least getting close to it. Looking at the clock, I imagine her at a party in a student house. They’re all playing drinking games. She’s sat in the circle, playing with her hair, hiding her heart-mark. There are several guys watching her, wanting her. One of them sits next to her, close enough that their knees touch. He laughs at something she says and gets her another drink. This time he sits even closer, leaning with one arm on her leg. She’s wearing a skirt. The same skirt she had on in the van when we went to Brighton. He starts stroking her leg and she looks over at him. Smiles. He leans in. She closes her eyes…
Oh, yeah, I’m so over her.
Knowing there was only a week until we formulate the grand plan, I looked forward to a few days of normal uni life. My American Studies classes were great: I loved both the course content and spending time with Mickey. He had declared himself my BBFF, adding ‘Brighton’ to avoid usurping Cass. We spent time eating, shopping and gossiping together, as well as studying. I would have been lost without him.
English Lit classes were trickier. Thankful Millie provided me with someone to sit with, I steered clear of Garrett but I couldn’t avoid him completely. Too often he was stood outside the lecture hall or seminar room, apparently waiting for someone. Even though he never acknowledged me, I could feel him watching me. I caught him staring at me in one lecture. He returned my quizzical look with a raised eyebrow. No smile. Just an intense stare I ended up breaking.
This awkwardness meant I was struggling to pay full attention and so was having to work extra hard just to keep up. I found myself spending longer hours in the library, reading the materials which had been summarised in the lectures, all because Garrett was messing with my head. It was ironic that my headspace should have been filled with Jake but was instead filled with Garrett-induced stress.
Mickey: Fancy a romantic dinner for 2? Or maybe chips by the sea?
Me: Chips sounds good. When?
Mickey: Come to my room and we’ll bus it down.
Me: K x
We sat on one of the covered benches, eating chips and watching the waves. Even with the sea spray misting my face and frizzing my hair, I was aware that I was happy. The darkness of the last few weeks was lifting. I had friends and was starting to enjoy life in Brighton. My friendship with Cass was as strong as ever. And next weekend, I was going to do everything in my power to get Jake back.