Chapter Nineteen
Crap. It was six thirty at night. The puck dropped in forty-two minutes, and I was easily a twenty-minute drive away. I hopped on one foot, trying to pull off the black boots so I could put on the brown ones that matched better with my cream-colored sweater. With an enthusiastic tug, the left one flew off my foot, and I landed on my butt, banging my head against the bookshelf.
“Ow!” I shouted. The bookcase shook from the impact, and I flung my arms over my head to catch what was sure to be an avalanche. A moment later, an envelope hit. Overreact much?
Dad’s letter stared up at me from my lap. I traced my name in his familiar handwriting with my finger, like that could somehow bring him closer.
For the hundredth time or so, my fingers flirted with the seal, tempted to rip it open and hear from him one last time. But what would he say if he knew everything that had happened? If he knew I’d transferred? If he knew all my carefully laid plans were nothing but a pile of ashes waiting to be swept away?
What could he have left to say to me that he hadn’t already told me in person? What had he held back? I turned it over in my hands again, determined not to leave anything unsaid in my life. There would never be a reason for me to write a letter.
Josh needed to know I loved him. Tonight. No waiting. No regrets. No worrying about consequences or debating if I’d grieved enough to move on.
I stood and put the envelope back on the top shelf.
I slipped on my brown boots. “Sam! We’ve got to go now!”
“Hold on!” she shouted back from the bathroom. “You can’t rush perfection, and I’m about to go man hunting.”
“Where the hell are my keys? Can’t you put anything back where it goes?” I threw my arms into my coat and started tossing Sam’s coffee-table mess around.
“Don’t get your panties in a wad, Ember. We can’t all have super-organizational OCD around here.”
“Not helping, Sam!”
She laughed and kept applying her makeup.
Four minutes, three curse words, and a set of keys later, we were on our way.
Traffic wasn’t bad until we hit the World Arena. Add in the five minutes to park, and we flirted with missing the puck drop.
We raced down the concourse, rudely shoving our way past people until we reached our section. A quick glance past the usher at the open ice confirmed we’d made it in time. We slid into our blue-line glass seats as the team took the ice. Perfect timing.
Like I had super-Josh-radar, I found him the moment he skated onto the ice. My smile erupted as I heard the arena burst in applause at the team’s arrival. My eyes couldn’t leave Josh.
“Holy shit, girl, you’ve got it bad.”
My smile spread wider, accepting the riot of emotions within me. “You have no clue.” I loved him. But more than that, I wasn’t just proud of the player out there, I was in awe of the man he’d become. “Did you know he got hurt?”
She nodded her head. “Yeah, he was out last year, but I didn’t really talk to him. I mean, he was on campus and at the parties, but it’s not like we ran in the same circles, even living next door. Did he tell you what happened?”
I shook my head.
“Rumor is he got shot that fall, but there’s like ten thousand different versions of how it happened.”
Shot. Holy shit, he’d been shot? “What’s the most popular?”
“I heard everything from stopping a robbery to a pissed-off girlfriend.”
Tweedledee and Tweedledum took their seats behind us again. What were the odds? These were the seats Josh had given us . . . Josh. I glanced back at the blondes with a smile. “Nice to see you, ladies.”
Tweedledee glared at me. “Yeah. What’s the deal with you and Walker?”
I gave my best go-to-hell smile. “He’s just my whatever. You guys enjoy the game, okay?”
I turned around and ignored their scoffs and comments about how hot Josh was. I couldn’t blame any of the population for fawning over him. Hell, by the end of the first period, he had me reduced to nearly drooling with want. When he checked someone into the boards, I flashed back to feeling him press me against a wall, undoubtedly his signature move. When I watched him skating backward, I remembered him pulling me down the ice, so careful with me. When he took a shot, I saw his fist flying through Riley’s face, ready to destroy him for hurting me. When he adjusted his grip on the stick, I swore I could feel his hands on my body. The temperature in the rink called for a coat, but I was on freaking fire.
He scored, his arms raised in victory, and he met my eyes with a joyful smile before being assaulted by his teammates. It was me he was searching for.
There was no way to deny it, and I didn’t want to. I was in love with him.
By the end of the third period, I was ashamed to admit that I didn’t care they’d won, or that Josh had scored two of the five goals and assisted one. I just wanted him alone. The buzzer announced the end of the game, and the arena exploded in applause.
“Hey, can you take my car home for me?” I asked Sam as we waited for the crowd to clear the concrete stairway.
“Planning on catching a ride with a certain player?” She winked.
“Something tells me he’ll bring me home.” I laughed, and it felt good. I could do this, be happy, if that’s what this ecstatic feeling bubbling through me was.
I might have skipped down the back of the arena to the player’s entrance for all my feet hit the floor. I had to tell him. He needed to know. I didn’t even care if he reciprocated. Well, that was a lie. Of course I cared, but it was more of an epiphany that I could feel this way again and not hide it. It wasn’t about what he felt for me as much as it was what I was now capable of feeling for him.
The hallway was crowded, but I found a spare piece of wall and waited while the Tweedle twins glared from near the entrance. I understood their infatuation, but they didn’t know him. No one knew him like I did. To them, he was a hot hockey player and a great lay. To me . . . he was everything.
Anticipation made the wait seem like forever, but the first players finally trickled out, shaking hands and giving high fives down the lined walkway. I didn’t have to wait long.
Josh burst through the locker-room doors and the hallway was filled with thunderous approval. He gave his cocky smile, the one that had girls flocking around him, touching him, but he cut through.
His eyes swept up and down the corridor before locking onto mine. The smile that came across his face was anything but cocky. It was the slow, sexy one he reserved for me. It made me think of peeling his clothes off his body right where he stood and made me bolder with every step he took closer to me.
I reached for his hand, and he brought mine to his lips, kissing the back. “Thanks for coming.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
Our moment was interrupted by Tweedledee and Tweedledum. “Hey, Josh, give us a ride to the after-party?”
They slid up against him, one on the side, one on the front, doing their best to push me out of the way. How aggressive could two girls get? He expertly turned, sliding me past the girls. “Ember? Do you want to go to the after-party?”
I shook my head slowly, ready to burst with everything I needed to tell him. I couldn’t contain it, or it was going to come shining out of me like I was some dysfunctional Care Bear.
He gave a nod. “Want to end the night? I’ll take you home, babe.”
“Walker! You ready to go for that division trophy?” someone in the crowd shouted.
“I’ve already got my trophy!” he called back with a heart-stopping grin. He lifted me by my hips, holding me above his head. “I’d better put you back in that glass case,” he teased.
Other players pushed through the hallway, making the noise level unbearable. I slid down his body and brought my mouth to his ear. “I want you to take me home with you.”
He pulled back. A dropped jaw and wide eyes met mine. “December?”
My smile was so bright it felt like it belonged to someone else. “I’m in love with you, Josh Walker. Take. Me. Home.”
The stunned glaze over his eyes lasted all of two seconds before his mouth descended on mine. We might as well have been alone for the way he kissed me. He was fierce, unyielding, demanding everything I had to give. My fingers tunneled through his hair as he slanted my mouth over his.
“But, Josh! The party?” one girl called out.
“Ember is my party.” He called back before returning to my mouth. He carried me from the building without breaking the kiss, enormous bag of gear and all.
The metal of the Jeep’s frame chilled through my jacket as he leaned me against it, kissing the very breath out of me in the icy night air. He paused long enough to unlock my door and open it; then he was back to kissing and lowering me into the seat at the same time. How could he be in complete control? I was ready to knock him to the ground in the parking lot.
A click, and he’d locked my seat belt into place. I grasped the back of his neck and held him to me, desperate to drink him in.
He moaned against my mouth. “You have to let me go.”
“No.” I’d finally given myself permission, and I wasn’t backing down.
I ran my hand along his coat, unzipping it and then skimming my hand under his shirt to trace the line of his abs. I had his muscles memorized, and tonight I was going to lick every ridge of them. “I can’t wait to put my mouth here.” My fingers pressed into his skin.
“December.” He breathed my name like a prayer. “Let go. Now.” He pushed my hands down, but his eyes told me it was the last thing he wanted to do. “Let me go now before I f*ck you in my Jeep in the middle of a damned parking lot.”
“Maybe that’s what I want.” Any flat surface sounded great. Scratch that. Any surface would do.
He bit his lip in the way that drove me mad and took a ragged breath. “My bed. That was the deal, remember?”
Memories flashed. “God, yes, I remember everything about that night: your hands on my body, the way you drive me insane.” I arched into him, pulling his mouth to mine. “You want me in your bed, Josh?”
His eyes were impossibly dark against the black sky. “Yes.” He bit out the word. “I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life.”
“Then you’d better drive fast.”
Weaving expertly through traffic, he got us home in fifteen minutes flat. Impressive, considering he’d dealt with demolition-derby-style traffic getting out of the arena. Even more impressive considering I used the time to become intimately acquainted with the skin of his neck. He gave the most delectable gasps when I took my teeth lightly to his earlobe. I couldn’t wait to hear the sound again.
The Jeep jolted to a stop in his parking spot, and I had my door open before he could get around to my side. I flung myself into his arms. He caught me easily.
I lost myself in the feel, the texture of his mouth. He tasted like strawberries and Josh. I became the aggressor as we stumbled inside, running my tongue along the line of his teeth, craving every bit of him that I could get.
I heard a ding, and I was against the wall. My head lolled back, and Josh nipped at my neck. Chills raced down my body, followed by streaks of heat that ran straight to my thighs.
Another ding and he lifted me into his arms. His breathing was ragged, but he walked normally as he kissed me. He wasn’t winded from carrying me; he was just as lost in lust as I was. The thought turned me on to an impossible new level. I was going to catch fire at any moment.
I let his mouth go once we reached his door, only to run my tongue down the salty skin of his neck. Whatever this man wore made him freaking edible. I heard a click, and we were moving again, stumbling to turn on lights. “You can put me down,” I suggested.
“Not until you’re in my bed.” His open mouth rested against my neck. “God, December, you can’t know how long I’ve dreamed of having you in my bed.” That earned him another soul-destroying kiss. Or earned me one, rather. Hell, we were both winners in my book.