For You

Chapter TWENTY-SIX

SAWYER JONES

So, I was boyfriend material. Full-time. Officially.

When I woke up Sunday morning to the sound of someone banging on my bedroom door, I thought for a moment the house was being raided by the cops. Because that was the kind of living situation I was in, apparently.

Then Aubrey came in, looking all flustered and adorable. Spanky must have let her in. I wanted to kiss her, but she was so angry. I'd never seen a woman that angry.

Still fuzzy from dreaming, my brain shot into panic mode, where thinking was difficult.

Aubrey kept saying I'd slept with another girl.

Even though she'd found me alone in my room, she thought I'd banged some chick, then locked my door again after sending the girl to the kitchen. Or something. Why would I deadbolt my door? It made no sense. She was hysterical. I made the mistake of nearly laughing over how ridiculous it was, and she damn near reached into my chest to pull out my beating heart.

Off she ran.

And I thought about letting her go. Without her seeing me, my life didn't seem so shitty, didn't need to change. I could keep living my life, sharing a crap house with a drug dealer and partying all the time.

I heard the front door slam, and instantly I saw myself for the idiot I was. I pulled on my jeans, but skipped the shoes, because she was getting away. The love of my life was getting away. The further she got from me, the more I knew.

When I caught her, outside, running headlong into an alley, she was hysterical. Spitting mad. And sexy as hell.

I couldn't take my hands off her. Up was down and down was up, and then we were at it like two alley cats. I lost my mind. Nothing that happened the rest of that day was sane.

Back up in my room, I poured my heart out, but she didn't laugh in my face. She didn't tell me I was “too intense,” or “moving too fast,” or “freaking her out.”

When I finally pressed her, Aubrey admitted that she wanted everything I had to offer.

She wanted me.

Part of me wanted to run away, terrified, but her pale gray eyes, calm as the moon, held me fast.

Stay, her eyes said.

Stay.

So we stayed in bed all day, and I made love to her every way I could imagine, and she couldn't get enough of me. Outside my bedroom walls, people were going to work, and living, and dying, and none of that mattered, because Aubrey and I were the whole world.

I knew that no matter what happened next for us, I'd never look at maple syrup the same way, and I'd never let her run away from me again.



Our beautiful Sunday together ended at dinner time, with Aubrey running off to be home for when her daughter returned. Wait, not her daughter—her sister.

I offered to give her a ride, but she said, “I'd rather walk and get the fresh air and exercise.”

We were standing on my porch, kissing goodbye, and I grabbed her ass, which felt close to naked under the thin fabric of her dress.

“Exercise? Girl, did I not put you through your paces today?”

She gave me a coy look instead of an answer. With just a few flicks of her eyelashes, my cock stirred from its slumber, not content with the amount of abuse that had been heaped on it already that day.

I pulled her to me and kissed her again, hoping she'd invite me to come over to her place that night. Maybe after the little girl went to bed. I could be real quiet, if I had to.

But no, she pulled away and left.

I didn't want her to walk away, but at least the view was good.



On Monday, I wanted to see Aubrey during the day, but I had to go to my father's office and talk to him about my entire life, my prospects, my future. You know, just a little chat.

So that ordeal lasted until two o'clock, and then there was no time to get back and see Aubrey. It was the first downside to my new career, but I hoped the money and stability would eventually make up for such sacrifices.

I texted her to ask if I could meet her little sister that night, but she asked for more time.

Time? Did I have time? I didn't feel like I did. I had something to give Aubrey, and it was a throbbing, messy thing.

My heart.

What did you think I was going to say?

I wanted to feel her legs wrap around me, and I wanted to write her a f*cking poem. That was love, right? I'd never felt anything like it before. I wanted to breathe her in like oxygen, and be there when she woke.

She didn't want to introduce me to Bell on Monday, or on Tuesday.

What had been the point in quitting the restaurant and trying to get my life in order if I couldn't have my Aubrey?

Doubts plagued me. I was making the right decisions for the wrong reasons… or maybe everything was wrong.

At ten o'clock Tuesday, I got on my bike and went for one last ride. I had an appointment Wednesday to show the bike to someone who'd emailed me from the Craigslist posting, and then there'd be no more rides.

You can legally take a seven-year-old kid on a motorbike, but I didn't want to.

The night was hot, so hot that sitting at traffic lights made me sweat, even though it was long past sunset.

I found myself out in front of Aubrey's building. Her light was on. I took off my helmet and phoned her number.

“Sawyer?” At the same time she said my name, her form appeared in the window high above me.

“How'd you do that? How'd you know I was here?” I waved up to her shadow.

She waved back. “I come to the window and check every time you call, since that first time. I didn't like that, when you hung up and rode away. It made me sad.”

“So, what are you going to do? I don't want to ride away.”

“I could invite you up.”

“That's definitely an option. Sounds like something people would do. Is your little girl gone to bed?”

There was a pause. “I'll come down and let you in, so you don't buzz the intercom.”

I ran to the door and waited, irrationally thinking she wasn't going to come down, but would leave me standing there like a sucker all night.

She finally appeared, wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants and a tank top, no bra.

She let me in, and we started kissing as soon as we hit the stairwell. She grabbed my crotch and I got hard so fast it hurt, and I had to pull away to adjust myself, which amused her. Women are always amused by the old bent-cock-in-the-tight-jeans trick.

“You have to be very quiet,” she said.

“I can be quiet, but you make these little noises.” I imitated her pleasure sounds, much to her horror. She beat me about the chest until I stopped.

We got into her apartment, and she didn't make any pretense about making me a drink or any nonsense. It takes a special kind of woman to admit she likes sex. The kind of woman you hang onto if you ever find her. It really helped that her eyes widened with delight every time she saw my cock.

We tip-toed into her bedroom and closed the door, then she turned on her clock radio to the oldies station.

“Hot,” I said.

She waved her hands around her bedroom, which was practically empty except for the bed. I was already planning a custom drawing for the long wall, over the headboard. Definitely frogs and lily pads. Maybe a scene in the moonlight.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked, her voice soft and low.

“How you look like a goddess, even in those strange pants.”

Her face crinkled, and I knew I'd said the right thing.

I continued, “And I want to worship you. Let me take off these mortal fabrics and see you in your true splendor.”

She pretended to roll her eyes, but I could tell she was enjoying herself. Her nipples were firm and poking out from her tank top, and the room was not cold.

I lifted the shirt off over her head and knelt before her. I kissed along her stomach and then up to her breasts, which were now the perfect height for me to enjoy with my mouth. As I sucked on her nipple, she seemed to melt and pool like hot lava, into my mouth.

My hands moved on instinct, pulling down her flannel pants and her cotton underwear, until she was completely naked.

I was still fully clothed, which was the only way I could make myself wait and resist plunging into her.

I trailed my tongue down under her belly button and then through the forest of her neatly-trimmed hair. I nudged my way down into her crease, savoring the scent and taste of her. She put her hands in my hair, combing her fingers around to the back of my head and urging me in. I was sitting with my butt on my heels now, and pushed one of her feet to the side to give me better access.

In I went, tongue first, kissing her salty skin. I felt that lovely bud swelling on command under the tip of my tongue, and I kept up, desperately sucking her flesh against my lips.

She moaned, unleashing my hunger to devour her. There's no sex quite like sex with a girl you can't get enough of. It's like a drug that makes you think everything will be all right. The sun goes down, the lights go out, and you lose yourself in that sweet peach.

She pulled away, leaving me reaching for her. Her face coy, she scurried to the opposite side of the bed and patted the spot next to her. I started to move forward, but she said, “Clothes off.”

I was undressed in a flash, my excitement quite evident by my rock-hard erection.

“On your back,” she said.

“Are you the boss tonight?”

“Why don't you lay back and find out?”

Aubrey hovered over me, her hair falling around our faces as she kissed me. She pulled back, like she had something to tell me, but then she sighed and kissed me again instead.

Her hair tickled my face and then my chest as she worked her way down, sucking on my nipples the exact way I'd sucked on hers. I didn't know what this was supposed to do, besides make my cock even harder, but it felt good. Her mouth on any part of me felt good.

Then her hot mouth was around my cock, applying sweet, agonizing pressure. I wanted friction and she gave me softness, like a flower petal. I tried to stop thinking about the agenda—the agenda of coming as soon as possible—and thought instead of her gently licking my cock as a special thing unto itself, and not an action leading to a result.

Heaven.

I found heaven, full of clouds and sunshine, with every lick.

My sack pulled up tight, and the chain reaction started without warning.

“I'm coming,” I whispered.

“Mmmmmmmm,” she moaned, as in yes, you are. Come here. Come now. Come as you are.

I scrunched my face and flexed my legs, trying to drag out the moment, to let it last forever and ever and ever.

She was hungry for me, though. As insatiable for me as I was for her. She gripped my cock irresistibly tight at the base and shoved me into her mouth, so deep and amazing. Plus she was humming. Mmmmm. Into me.

Looking down, I saw her perfect face, so focused, and her gorgeous lips around me.

I fell apart, my muscles clenching and letting go, everything beyond my control.

I fell apart and she pulled me into her, thirsty for more, draining me.

Sated, I let out a long sigh and took a normal breath.

Suddenly, worry and regret set in. I whispered, “Was I too loud? I'm sorry, I hope I didn't wake her.”

She climbed up alongside me and nestled in against my arm. “You were quiet as a mouse.”

I flexed my stomach as she ran her hand over my skin. How were girls' hands so smooth and nice? Her touch was like being massaged by a goddess. A goddess I was going to go wild on, just as soon as I caught my breath.

My plans for the second round didn't exactly pan out, though. The room was dark, quiet, and warm. I had a gorgeous girl snuggled up next to me.

I closed my eyes to enjoy the perfect moment, and when my eyes opened again, the room was bright with morning sun.

The covers were over us, and Aubrey had her back to me. I snuggled up to her, my nose in Aubrey's dark hair, breathing in her scent.

I got the feeling I was being watched, so I turned back slowly and found a little girl standing next to the bed. She had pale eyes, more blue and less gray than Aubrey's, and her hair was much lighter.

Pulling the covers even higher over myself, I remained still. “Hello there. You must be Bell. My name is Sawyer and I'm a friend of your mother's.”

I wasn't sure what the protocol was, so I moved to offer her my hand to shake.

In slow motion, her mouth dropped open and she began to scream.

The sound turned my guts to water, instantly.

Aubrey jumped up, and to my relief she had her tank top and pants on. That meant I wasn't there by accident, or so I hoped.

In a flurry of motion, she scooped up the little girl and got her out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Alone in the room, I wrestled off the bed covers and got myself clothed as quickly as I could.

So much for meeting Bell under a calm, controlled situation and not emotionally scarring the kid for life. Part of me wanted to laugh, but the other part of me felt like a disgusting low-life bastard. I had the motorcycle out front, scary tattoos all over my arms, and I was the jerk here. Poor kid.

I stood at the door, listening as they talked. It didn't sound great, but at least she wasn't screaming anymore.

Should I leave the bedroom? Stay there until they left for school and then slip away like a ghost?

The TV came on in the living room, and a moment later, Aubrey let herself back into the bedroom.

“She's okay,” she said, pushing me back toward the bed.

“I'm so sorry. This isn't how I wanted this to go.” I shoved my hands into my jeans pockets, wishing I could go back in time and not fall asleep like a big, stupid lug.

“Listen, I wanted you to stay because I couldn't let you leave before I tell you something.”

Her face was somber, and her tone made me break out in a cold sweat.

I sat on the bed and she joined me.

“You can tell me anything,” I said.

“This isn't like… like I put your portrait in my drawing without asking. Sawyer, this is truly awful, and I want you to know that if you don't like me anymore, that's okay, but please, can you promise you won't tell anyone?”

I took her hand and squeezed her soft fingers, so tiny and fragile in my banged-up hand.

“Aubrey, just try me. I can take a lot. You'd be surprised.”

“The reason I have Bell is because my mother was a lousy parent. She left us.”

“Okay. Well, you stepped up and took responsibility. That makes you a good person.”

“She left us with a dead body. Her boyfriend, Derek. We were living at his house, with him, just the four of us. I found him in the kitchen. Blood everywhere. There was a knife, and I guess someone stabbed him with it, because there were these cuts in his shirt. A lot of them.”

I stared straight ahead at her closet door, no idea what to say.

She continued, “I heard a noise down the hallway, and I thought for sure whoever killed Derek was going to kill me next. I picked up the knife and went down the hall. Bell was there, rubbing her eyes, just up from her nap. I grabbed her and held her so tight, and I knew right then, that out of all the people in the world, she was the one I cared about. I'd do anything for her.”

Her hand was still in mine, damp with sweat. Aubrey's words felt heavy in the room.

“I don't understand. So you mother's in prison?”

“No, I don't think so. I check the internet at the library for her name every so often, and from what I can tell they never found who killed him.”

“But you're sure it was her? I'm sorry to say this, but couldn't they both have been killed?”

She shook her head. “My mother's things were gone. Not just her purse and her jewelry, but some of her clothes, and her suitcase, and her car. I waited for her a while, thinking she'd come back for Bell, if not for me. I never saw her again.”

“What an awful experience for you. I can't even imagine. We've had some drama with my family, but nothing like that.”

“There's more.”

“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.”

Her face has an odd expression, like she was looking at something a thousand miles away.

She continued, “Even after all the shitty things she'd done, I still had some loyalty to my mother. She didn't come back that night or the next morning. So I packed up what few things we could fit in a vehicle, and I made Bell go wait in the chicken shed. I dragged Derek's body into my bedroom, where there was the most amount of wood, and I set the trailer on fire.”

The room got even heavier than I'd imagined possible as I thought of Aubrey dragging a body around, and setting a fire.

“I took Derek's car, the one that barely ran, and Bell and I drove away from town with the fire at our backs. I thought for sure we'd only make it a few weeks before they caught up with us, but I hoped my mother would turn herself in. I was only seventeen, and I hoped to buy some time. I didn't want to get put in foster care, but more than that, I didn't want Bell to get put in the system.”

“And how old did you say you are now?”

“Twenty-one.”

“Why haven't you gotten that all sorted out, then? Gotten custody of her, officially?”

She turned to me, her face drawn and pale. “I'm scared. What if they think I killed him? Derek and I didn't exactly get along. Plus I burned down the crime scene. At the time, I thought I could blame that on my mother as well, but that was just stupid.” She shook her head, frowning. “I was such a stupid, f*cking naïve kid.”

“You were young. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing.”

She turned away, her face and her shoulders. “I can understand if you don't want to be with a liar, but please promise you won't tell anyone.”

“I'm not going anywhere, and I won't tell anyone. But maybe you should talk to a lawyer.”

She let out an exasperated sigh. “With what money?”

“I don't know. We'll think of something. You've told me everything, right? That's the whole story?”

I reached out and touched her chin, drawing her face toward me.

She pursed her lips and stared at me a long time, her face unreadable. I started to worry she was going to say something a thousand times worse, like that she'd done worse than steal the car of a dead man and burn his body in a house fire.

Her voice flat, she said, “That's everything.”

“What time is school?”

She blinked, seeming confused.

I turned back and located the alarm clock. It was just past eight o'clock in the morning.

“It's ten after eight,” I said. “What time do we need to get Bell to school?”

“Nine.”

“Then I guess we should get her some breakfast, right? Should I come out of the bedroom and try to introduce myself again, or do you want me to wait in here until after you're gone?”

“I don't know.”

“My shoes are out there, so how about I come out, and if she's upset, I'll just grab my shoes and head for the door.”

She put her face in her hands. “I thought I'd feel better after I told you the truth, but now everything's twice as bad.”

I gently pulled her hands away from her face. “Nothing's bad. I'm here with you. I'm on your side, and I won't let anything bad happen to you ever again. I wish I'd been there for you sooner, but I didn't even know you back then. I felt you, in my heart, but I didn't know you.”

She collapsed in my arms, sobbing. “It's been so hard,” she said.

I held her tight against me and kissed the top of her head. “I'm here now. I've got you. Everything's going to be all right.”