Ever After

Chapter 30



Losing my self



William was losing his mind as I lay in his arms. I felt him move me; he put his ear to my chest, to listen for my nonexistent heartbeat. I felt him grab my wrist hoping to feel a pulse. I could feel his hands shaking, and his breathing was fast. He was freaking out.

He stroked my cheek and said my name, begging me to come back to him. I knew he was crying, as I felt his hot salty tears drop on to my ice-cold cheek. His tears that he shed would have to be for me too, because along with everything else I couldn’t do, I could not cry either.

I wanted to take his hand and kiss his lips, tell him I was ok but obviously, I was not. I could not understand why I was not able to do anything. I tried to squeeze his hand, or open my eyes but my body was in some kind of off mode. I was like a TV with the mute button stuck on. I was limp in his arms, unable to hold up my head. I bet I really did look dead, but was I?

Roth scuffled with Todd, again and from what I heard he forced him to drink some of the vial of dead blood, at least Todd got what he deserved. I heard him choke and gasp, trying to spit out the blood. Roth had forced him to swallow it.

“Die Todd, you deserve an agonizing death for all the hell you have caused Corrine and William.” Roth said in a low and deadly voice. “I would kill you with my bear hands, but that is not our way. The vial will deliver you to hell, where you came from, and where you will return.”

I could hear everything remarkable well; even the sound of the rain hitting the pine trees was magnified. I marveled at how I also could hear Kyle in the distance as he ran from Roth, he was cussing up a storm hitting every branch as he ran for his life. This was crazy, why was I like this, it was so much like when I was in the hospital after Todd tried to make it look like I had committed suicide.

I was in a coma then, and clearly recall feeling pain, when the drugs that had given me for it wore off. This was different. I felt nothing, not hot or cold, no pain of any kind. I could feel myself being touched or moved but that was all. I could not open my eyes, or speak and it sure as hell seemed like my damn heart had quit beating, to me and everyone else.

I hoped and prayed this was not my fate. I could be buried alive, or whatever you want to call it, just like this. I wanted to cry, but like everything else, I could not do that either. Will was self-destructing right before me, he was falling apart. He held me whispering my name repeatedly, the tears he cried falling on my cheek, could have been my own if I could have shed them.

I felt as if my heart was being ripped out. I was dead to him, to everyone. I was stuck in some kind of hell. I wanted to comfort Will, but it was not even possible. The pain he felt, in thinking, I was lost to him, I felt too. It was worse for me, because I knew I was not dead, but I could not tell him. I was trapped in my own body, it had become a prison.

Will seemed to be on the edge now. Roth was at his side. I felt him touch my wrist gently with his big hand. I knew he was trying to see if he could feel my pulse. I knew he wouldn’t, just has Will could not find one.

“Will, my God I’m sorry,” his voice was low and filled with emotion.

“I failed her, I let this happen, she needed me to protect her and look what happened.” I felt him stroke my hair softly. “I love you Corrine, you are everything to me, please don’t go, don’t leave me here alone without you.”

“Will, you did all you could, we tried to get her back. You did all you could for her,” Roth said.

I knew Roth was trying to comfort Will but he was inconsolable. I felt the rain drops mingle with Will’s tears now. He sat in the clearing on his knees. I was lying in his arms, like a rag doll, lifeless. He quit speaking, and it worried me deeply. I knew something was wrong.

“Do you have the other vial?” Will asked Roth, it had been quiet for so long, if I were capable of jumping I would have.

“What? Uh… yeah, but why? That Kyle dude took off. Todd hasn’t moved in twenty minutes, he’s dead I’m sure.” Roth sounded confused about Will asking about the vial.

“I just want to be sure he’s dead, let me hang onto the other one, just in case.” I could hear a strange edge in Will’s voice, an under lying urgency to get that vial.

“No, I have it don’t worry about it man.” I could hear Roth move back closer to me. I then felt him take my wrist once again. I marveled at how warm his fingers felt, I longed to feel that warm again.

“Did you check her over good, she might be in shock or something, and you know she may not really be….” He paused trying hard not to say the D word (dead).

“Gone… we have to be sure.” Gone, well I was so not gone if only I could just get up, yell at them both, and tell them.

“I did check. I found a weak pulse, and that’s when she was still able to speak to me, right after that freak bit her. I can’t believe he did that, why….. It’s just sick to hate somebody like that!” Will sighed.

“I want to be sure, Corrine’s system is pretty jacked up, so she could be having some insane reaction to the venom.” Roth was gentle as he placed two fingers against the un bitten side of my neck trying to feel for a pulse.

I could hear him sigh as he found nothing. Then he pulled back Will’s coat that covered me to listen to my chest, for any heartbeat. I felt him place his ear carefully on my chest, as he waited. I hoped he heard something. He quickly covered me back up with Will’s coat.

“Damn it! I didn’t hear anything, this is so screwed up I swear!” Will was silent, and that concerned me. “I will call Doc and Pratt, again. I know they will know what to do for her Will you know that too don’t you?” He asked cautiously.

“Do I?” Will’s voice was low and unsteady. I was really scared.

“No really, Pratt’s a genius he will know how to get Corrine back, I know he will.” Roth was trying to be convincing, but a slight waver in his voice told me Will’s behavior was worrying him too.

“Tell me cousin of mine, how does one bring back a human from death? I was not aware Dr. Pratt was God himself. God would have to be the one to give Corrine back to me now. Death is final Roth, of all the creatures that roam this earth; vampires are the authorities on that subject, especially full bloods wouldn’t you say?” Will sounded disgusted.

“Yes, death is the end all, unless you are a vampire, than it becomes part of you for eternity.” I was shaken by his words and disturbed by the silence from Roth. I knew he was too.

“Will, come on now, she’s not fully human. Pratt will know what to do and if he doesn’t I know Corrine wouldn’t want you to be talking like this.”

“Like what?” Will questioned.

“Like it’s over, everything you know. Corrine loved you….” He groaned at his past tense referral of me. “She loves you, ok? If she is gone… or whatever, she would never want you to do something stupid to yourself. You understand me?” Roth was getting short tempered now.

“Stupid? Really? That has a lot of definitions doesn’t it?”

“Will come on quit that, be real here, and listen to me!”

“I am and I know what Corrine wanted better than you.” He snapped.

“Really is that so?” Roth fired back.

“Yes!” He yelled.

“I know she didn’t want you to die, not by Todd’s hand or your own. That’s what I know William Darcy!”

Roth’s words stung me and sent me back to the afternoon he came to talk to me about Will. Roth had been worried Will would go off the deep end if I really did ever die. I made Roth promise me he would watch over him, and make sure he did not do anything foolish to himself if I was not here to look after him.

“Really? Well I know she did not want us to be apart, she did not want to be without me ever.”

“Yes, I am sure she meant that, but while you were both here on earth, not if she went before you. I got to know her pretty well, and I know she would never want you to hurt yourself over her!” Will still held me close to his chest. I could hear his heart beat increasing, as he got more and more upset.

“Look Will, let’s wait for Doc to get here before we do anything ok?”

“Eternity is a long time. I use to dread each day after I became a vampire, did you know that Roth?” Will’s tone was eerie.

“What? Uh… no I guess not.” He again was caught off guard by Will’s increasingly odd behavior.

“I wondered what good having eternal life was, without someone to share it with, someone to love. I tried to find things to interest me, like Doc had with his love of medicine. My mother loves astrology and the stars. I couldn’t …I had nothing to interest me. I merely existed, like a rock or a tree, an inanimate object… with hair.”

“Will …uh you’re freaking me out ok, what in hell are you getting at here?”

“What I’m getting at Roth, is that you don’t understand what Corrine was to me. I have waited my entire life, for her. I never knew love of her kind even during my short time as a human, and definitely not as a vampire. You don’t know what it is to have what little soul you still have to be brought to life by love, and then have it crushed when that love is gone.” His voice wavered with emotion.

“Corrine gave me life, she made me feel and think and want to live each day. I know she thought I saved her, and she always told everyone that, but really, she saved me. I don’t want this eternity, this gift they say we vampires have. It’s no good without someone you truly love to share it with. Corrine was to share it with me all of it. It just doesn’t work without her. I can’t comprehend my life without her in it, and I don’t want to.” Will sighed as he bent his head down to kiss my forehead.

“I can’t say I understand it Will, because I haven’t loved like you. I haven’t met any girl I would die for, or even cut my pinky finger for anyway. I can honestly tell you though; she loved you the same way and would not have wanted you to end your life over her.”

“I can’t.” Will gasped; he squeezed me tighter, as if he feared Roth might take me from his arms.

“You must honor her William, don’t give up, you must be strong now, for her for the coven. Do you know what killing yourself would do to your mom? It would destroy her, she loves you so much and Doc too. Think of the others who love you, you have to think Will, really you do!” Roth pleaded.

“I can’t think, I can’t even breathe anymore, it’s too much, all of it!”

“You are stronger than this, come on now!” I could hear Roth move closer to Will. I figured he was putting his arm around him or something.

“Give me the vial.” Will simply said. The low voice he used scared me, he meant business now.

“No, I will not. You might want to die but not while I’m around William, not this day!”

“Give me that damn vial now!” Will’s voice was louder.

“No!” Roth yelled back. “I told you I won’t. I know what you’re going to do and I’m not letting you.” I knew what he wanted to do, and I was terrified now.

I wanted to grab William and shake him, and tell him he couldn’t hurt himself. I forced myself to open my eyes; I wanted to see what was going on. I couldn’t stand not seeing what was going on, it was too much. I could see them after I blinked the rain out of my eyes. Roth was holding the vial out away from Will, trying to keep him from getting it.

Will was pushing him trying to knock him down; the ground was a mixture of ice and mud, making them slip. Will was a mad man; he was attacking his own cousin. I knew he had lost his mind, and it was because he thought I was dead. I tried to move but my body was frozen, as I watched Roth and Will fighting. The freezing rain was starting to come down and they began to start slipping more, as Roth struggled with Will.

“Come on Will, stop it!” Roth yelled, he had slipped in the mud and Will had a hold of the hand holding the vial. “Don’t make me hurt you, damn it you’re crazy!” Will was fighting hard to rip the vial out of Roth’s hand.

“Give it to me, now!” He slammed Roth’s hand down hard onto the ground hard.

I heard a sound in the distance, it sounded like a low hum. I strained my ears, trying to figure out what it was. I was praying Doc was near, Roth needed help with Will. I could not turn my head, but I was in shock when headlights cut through the rain. A vehicle barreled through the brush, climbing up over the fallen trees near where Will and Roth were fighting. I could see it was a black hummer, and it had cut through the thick woods off road to get to us. Roth looked over and yelled to whoever drove it

“Come on, hurry up!” He yelled.

I knew Roth normally would have been stronger than Will, but he was out of control with rage and anger, over my “death”. I watched Doc run toward Roth. Taylor, had been driving he ran out following Doc. Pratt got out next, he scanned the woods, until he saw me on the ground.

“Will its Doc, what are you doing here?” Doc’s voice strained. Pratt ran over next to Doc.

“He’s flipped. Corrine’s dead, she’s over there.” He motioned his free hand over next to the tree where I laid.

“What?” Pratt yelled, as he saw me laying there. “Jesus, this is a nightmare.”

Pratt ran to me and slid in the mud on his knees, snatching up my wrist to feel for a pulse. I watched Will, who was now on his knees, the rain pelting him. His hair was pasted to his head from the rain; he was staring at the ground, not responding to Doc who knelt beside him talking.

“Will, can you hear me?” Doc shook him hard. “Snap out of it son, it’s Doc, do you see me?” I waited as I felt Pratt trying desperately to find my pulse.

“Will, its Doc, come on now look at me, say something!” He yelled. It seemed like he was frozen much like me. I started to think he was ok, as he slowly lifted his head.

“She’s gone, there’s nothing for me now.” He whispered in a very soft voice.

“We don’t know that, let Pratt look her over.”

“Why? I felt her die in my arms, don’t you think I would know, if she were alive or not?” His voice wavered with emotion; Doc looked pained as put his hand on Will’s shoulder.

“Let’s just not jump to conclusions here ok, we are going to take you and Corrine home, and sort this out right now.”

I listened to Doc trying to talk to Will. He was not having any luck, as he would not answer any of Doc’s questions. I could hear Pratt talking to himself under his breath. He kept saying he knew I should never have been allowed to go home, it was not safe.

The way he moved so quickly, looking for a sign of life from me, made me nervous. I knew my eyes were barley open so they would not take that as a sign, I was still here. I watched Lydia and Emma follow Taylor from the hummer, which was caked in mud, the running lights cut through the foggy night sky. Lydia went to Will’s side, and Emma ran to me and knelt next to Pratt. Taylor stood next to Roth as he filled him in, they both turned to look at Todd’s still motionless body, laying mere feet from me.

“This is a frigging night mare, man!” Taylor sighed rubbing his head.

“Tell me about it, I still don’t see how Will fought those three off for so long on his own, with him being sick and all?” Roth said softly, watching Doc still kneeling down next to Will.

“Adrenaline.” Pratt said in a monotone voice as he was pulling out his stethoscope.

“What?”

“He was fueled by anger and adrenaline, unlike us; he still has that being a half blood. It gave him the strength to fight. He was trying to protect Corrine.” Pratt explained.

“Oh… like when mothers lift cars up by themselves to save their kid or something?” Roth asked.

“Yes, something like that.” Pratt ignored them as he focused on me now.

“Is she ok?” I could hear Emma’s soft voice ask. I felt her gentle hand on my arm. She rubbed it in a motherly way, trying to comfort me. The silence that came from Pratt made my stomach turn. It was a few minutes before he answered her. He put his hand over his mouth and sighed loudly.

“This is bad Emma, very bad. You must not say anything around William, but if what I am seeing here is correct.” He paused looking at William. “It looks like Corrine has died.”

I wanted to scream to cry to beat the crap out of somebody! I was not dead. I was here right here, and nobody knew it. I tried to blink, but my eyelids would not move an inch. Pratt yelled to Doc to come over immediately, Roth and Taylor took over seeing to Will. Doc knelt in the mud next to Pratt on the other side of me now.

“I can’t find a pulse here at all; I have looked and tried but nothing!” He said in a hushed tone, so Will would not hear him.

“You must know of something dear, is she in shock maybe?” Emma asked in a whisper.

“My God this is all we need, Will has lost his mind over there, and he won’t even look at me. Christ have mercy this will be the end of him Pratt, we have to try to get her back!”

“I know… I just don’t know what happened. It’s almost like she got some venom, in her or….” I felt him pull my heavy ice coated hair off my neck. They all three gasped in shock, at the bite mark Todd left on my neck.

“What in the hell is this!” Pratt yelled. “Roth, did you see this, who did it?”

“That jack ass Todd did, he got Corrine before I could do anything, Will was trying to protect her. I had no idea he was a vampire at all!” He came over to look at me like the rest of them.

“This is the worst thing that could have happened; she was too weak for any venom, much too weak. Her system was already shutting down; from the days she missed the serum injections.” Pratt shook his head sadly. “I cannot honestly say what this will do to her; it doesn’t look good at all to me though.”

“I can’t believe Todd is a vampire now!” Doc was shocked. “Leo had to have something to do with this; it has his name written all over it!”

“We need to get her and Will back to the coven house, as soon as possible. We need to do some tests, on Corrine.” Pratt said as he got up.

They all were soaked from the rain, but the cold did not bother them, the way it was bothering Will, Emma, and I. I knew he had to freezing, as he knelt in the mud. Lydia from what I could see was still next to him talking softly in his ear. I wished more than anything I could just get up and go to him. It was killing me to have to watch him suffer because he thought I was dead, and I really wasn’t.

“There has to be something you guys can do?” Roth knelt next to me and took my hand. “I don’t think we should give up on her so easily. She is Will’s life; he won’t get through this… I don’t think.

“I will try all I can to help her Roth, but she was so weak this venom may have been the last straw. I have a fellow coven member who has been my research partner for decades, Xavier Benton. I will call him as soon as I get a cell signal and ask him for help.”

I strained to hear what Lydia was telling Will, as she held on tightly to his arm. I could hear her telling him Doc and Pratt would cure me, and I would live. I knew she was lying, but I too wanted to believe her words. I was terrified right now. I wanted someone to tell me it was going to be ok too.

“Corrine love, we will help you, listen to me you must be strong now. I know it is very difficult but try to do that.” It was Emma’s voice, the others were busy trying to think how to fix me and forgot I might actually be able to hear and need a comforting voice. Emma had been like me, she was a half blood. She knew it was highly possible I was not dead, but in some kind of deep shock.

“Good Emma, I had forgot she could possibly still hear us. If you see and movement let me know.” Pratt smiled at her, as she held onto my hand.

I needed her, just to have her talk to me felt better. I had never known fear like this in my life. Todd didn’t even scare me like this, being dead to the world and still alive inside was much more terrifying to me than he ever was.

“Let’s go then.” Doc announced, his voice sounded very strained. “Will is shutting down over there, he’s in shock and with his system weakened as well, and I don’t know what will happen to him. This whole situation is a nightmare, one hellish night mare and it’s all directly linked to Leo, and that band of vampires he calls the Dark coven.” Anger filled his voice.

“I should have known he would do something like this! Leo is nothing but evil.” Doc looked sadly from me to Will. “I have failed them. They were innocent in all this, and they are the ones paying the price only because they loved one another, it makes me ill.”

“We should have kept her at the coven house; she was never safe at her home. I thought that many times, but never said anything. I blame myself as well, Doc.” Pratt said looking down at me.

“I should have seen this coming, but like you once told me your brother has a special gift, of blocking other vamps out of his thoughts. He knew I was here, helping you with Corrine and William. He made sure I never saw into his mind, to spoil his plans for revenge.”

“Yes, I’m sure he did. He was always gifted at spotting the vamps that had mind reading abilities, he always told me in the early days of my vampirism that his kinds were hard to defeat in any kind of battle. I hated him for that, and I dislike hating anyone, but he is pure evil.”

“We will have to be on guard. Leo will come after the rest of the coven, to get to you. It’s not safe for any Followers right now.” Pratt looked at Will and Lydia in the clearing of pine trees.

“We need to leave; I do not want to run into Leo right now, although he will not likely come out in this weather himself. He sends his minions to do his dirty work, he is a master of torture, and he likes to have his victims brought to him.”

“Good to know!” Roth grumbled.

“He delights in torture, believe me you do not want any part of it!” Doc’s voice was dead serious. I cringed at the thought of what Sayann told me, how Leo was considering me for a partner or mate as they called it, can you say “sick”!

I felt myself lifted off the wet cold ground, as they decided to get back to the safety of the coven house as soon as possible. I could barely see now, but I could tell Roth was carrying me. Pratt put his coat over me and removed Will’s rain soaked one, trying to keep me warm. Roth was not as warm as Will had been. I could hear Doc talking to Lydia as they finally got Will to come with them to the hummer. Doc was promising him, that Pratt had a plan for me in place and they would get me better. I could only hope he was right.

“Is he going to be ok?” Lydia asked as she got in the third row of seats behind me. “I have never seen him act like this.” I could tell she was close to tears.

“He’s in shock, he will come out of it slowly, Lydia. Pratt and I will watch over him, he will be fine in time.” Doc said in a low but calm voice.

The engine of the hummer roared to life, Will sat next to me as Roth still held me in his arms. I was thankful Emma had put a blanket over me when we got in the vehicle, I was so cold.

I could feel Will, pull back the blanket, and search for my hand. He held onto it the entire way home, he did not let go once. I thought he might say something to me, but he did not; he spoke to no one on the drive home. I could hear them all talking.

Doc was anticipating more violence from Leo. Pratt was trying to get a signal on his cell to call the guy he called Xavier, to see if he had any idea how to help me. I hoped he could reach him soon. I had no idea how long I was going to last like I was now.

This pretty much sucked, I thought to myself. It was 100 times worse than anything I could ever have imagined. I had thought being stuck in the hospital in a coma after Todd’s last attack was bad. This limbo or whatever you want to call it had this beat by a mile.

It felt much like when I was in a coma, minus the fact everyone around me thought I was dead part. Not to mention the not having a detectable heart beat part too. I can’ forget that. I expected thinking of all this would make me feel like throwing up, but hell I couldn’t even do that. I could only hear, and feel when my stupid, apparently lifeless body was moved.

I knew Todd’s bite should be burning my neck right now, causing me hellish pain. I should have been thankful I could not feel it. I wasn’t though; it meant something was big time wrong with me. The other thing worrying me besides me being “dead” was my beloved William. I could hear Doc telling Pratt how worried he was about him in a hushed voice.

I knew he didn’t want Lydia to hear him in the backseat. Doc said he was in a kind of catatonic state, totally unresponsive to anyone around him. I had heard of that happening to people, when they got totally freaked out by something. Will was shutting down mentally, because he thought I was dead, or dying, ok well dead I guess. I just hate to say that. I was desperate to think of a way to show him I was still here, locked inside my own body.

I had to find a way before he went totally crazy on me. Doc expressed concern to Pratt, about what Will might do if they couldn’t help me. It was defiantly a throw up moment now, hearing that, but again I could do nothing. The hummer pulled into the coven houses garage. I could hear the heavy door open than shut as we pulled inside.

“I want the house on lock down, Leo’s crossed the line now he may have other plans and we don’t want to take any chances. I don’t want anyone outside till further notice.” Doc barked out orders to the others like a drill sergeant.

“Ok I will tell everyone.” Roth quickly answered as he slowly and carefully got out of the hummer, me still in his arms.

“Taylor help William to my office, that cut on the side of his head looks deep, it may need stitches.”

“Ok Doc.” Taylor was at Will’s side right away, I could see through the slit of my barley open eyes, he was helping Will out into the garage.

“Give her to me.” It was Will’s voice; everyone froze in shock, since he had not spoken in hours.

“Roth has her Will, he will take her to my office, and Pratt and I will get to work getting her on her feet again.” Doc was next to Will, his hand on his shoulder.

“Please, I want to take her upstairs.” I could hear the desperation in his voice.

“Let him Doc, let’s not upset him, and if he feels he is able to carry her safely let him do so.” Pratt quickly jumped in defusing the situation.