Ever After

Chapter 11

“William”

I watched her, her cheeks red flushed with joy all afternoon. We had made so many wonderful memories the past few months. I noticed more and more she asked questions about my past, growing up, and things of that nature. I hated myself for having to lie to her and make up ridiculous stories. I had to tell her the truth; she deserved to know who and what I truly was. I would have to accept her choice if the reality of my existence was too much for her. I must let her go. I could feel the pain inside at even thinking she would hate me and send me away once she knew what I really was.

I was expecting it, of course, to see the look of disgust in her eyes, which would destroy what little soul I still had left inside me. I would have an eternity to live with her choice, to grieve the loss of her love, to swim in the pain of knowing the only person I ever loved hated me. I had no choice. I could feel the darker side of me seeping into my mind when we kissed. I found myself moving too close, the old hunger pushing me again. I was ready for her to look at me like the freak I was and turn and run, never looking back. I deserved it.

This would be my pain to bear for I had let myself fall in love with someone I should never have been close enough to touch. Corrine was all that was pure and good and I was all that was dark and bad. Even though I had sworn myself to end that behavior, it was a part of me that is deeply imbedded and I couldn’t rid myself of it even if I wanted to. I stood there surrounded by happy families, kids laughing life going on around us. I felt like I was in that Jerry Maguire movie where his boss fires him in the middle of the crowded restaurant.