Bratfest At Tiffany's

BOCD
THE INDOOR POOL

Wednesday, September 9th
2:02 P.M.

Sitting on the moist aluminum bench, thigh-to-thigh with Strawberry, who was thigh-to-thigh with Kori, who was thigh-to-thigh with Olivia, who was thigh-to-thigh with Cam, who was thigh-to-thigh with Josh, was stressing Alicia out big-time. She tried taking a deep, relaxing breath but ended up with a nose full of chlorine fumes that rose off the pool like latte steam.
If she’d known the soccer boys were going to be in her swim class, she never would have gone through with Josh’s plan. What if they made fun of her big boobs? What if her mascara ran? What if she got a water booger? What if—
Strawberry pinched the bell sleeve of Alicia’s floaty white cover-up, rubbing the fresh linen between her thumb and index finger. “Is this caw-tton?” she whispered while Miss Kuznick took attendance.
“Spanish linen,” Alicia explained, not knowing for sure if there was such a thing.
“I wish I’d worn something cute over my tankini.” Strawberry poked the freckly roll of flesh that oozed from her red suit, where the tank met the ini. “I feel like a cherry tomato, and you look like a total movie star.”
“Thanks.” Alicia crossed her legs, allowing one black Prada flip-flop to casually dangle from her toe cleavage. “I got it at the Lindo Hotel in the Costa del Sol. Their gift shop has the most ah-dorable stuff.”
“Same place you got those awesome boots you wore the other day?”
Alicia gazed into Strawberry’s emerald green eyes and nodded yes. Finally, someone appreciated her Euro-flair.
Kori leaned forward, her curved spine rippling under her hunter green one-piece. “I like your hair. It looks cool all slicked back like that.”
Alicia ran a silver ring–clad hand over the hardening comb tracks on her head.
“I deep-conditioned before class.”
“How smart is she?” Strawberry asked Kori.
“Majorly.”
Alicia side-peeked at Josh, hoping he was listening. But he was too busy snicker-dropping a wet Band-Aid down the back of Derrington’s gaping blue board shorts.
“Want some?” She held out a gold metallic tube of orange-scented Hydronectar Ultra Nourishing Oil Serum. “It will totally save your ends.”
“Sure.” Strawberry opened her palm, then finger-combed a dime-size dollop through her dark pink–dyed hair.
“Kori?” Alicia leaned forward, offering the goods.
“Thanks.” Kori straightened up, sending her bony spine back into hiding.
Puuuuuuuuuurpppp. Miss Kuznick’s whistle echoed off the moist BriteSmile-white tile walls.
“Everyone in!” She tightened the pointless red visor that sat perched atop her short black-and-gray hair, then unzipped her white warm-up jacket and tossed it by the bench, revealing a sleek black one-piece that accentuated her Jessica Biel shoulders. “We’re gonna warm up with ten minutes of power-treading.”
Puuuuuuuuuurpppp. Puuuuuuuuuurpppp.
“Yeaaaaah,” whooped Kemp, the notorious perv, as he dive-bombed into the pool. He quickly surfaced, wiped the mass of dark curly waves away from his close-set brown eyes, and shouted, “Come on, girls, show us what you’ve got!”
“Ew!” giggled Strawberry, Kori, and Olivia. Alicia’s cheeks burned. How was she going to take off her cover-up and get in the water without the soccer boys staring at her C-cups?
“Whoooooo!” shouted Chris Plovert during his front-flip entry. “Come on in!” He splashed the girls, who were trying to buy time, fiddling with their waterproof watches and over-tightening their ponytails.
Six more boys hurried in. Thankfully, Josh was not one of them. He sat patiently on his end of the bench, occasionally side-glancing at Alicia as if waiting to escort her.
Puuuuuuuuuurpppp. Puuuuuuuuuurpppp.
“Evv-rryone in!” Miss Kuznick shouted from the silver lifeguard tower.
Cam and Olivia, who were blowing up a pair of tiny pink water wings, held up their fingers to show the teacher that they would be in as soon as they could. Besides, it wasn’t like Olivia had any reason to stall. Her lemon yellow Juicy one-piece popped against her buttery brown skin. And her legs had been freshly shaved and slicked with glitter-infused body oil. Her boobs were A’s and her butt was an A+ … and she stood with the carefree confidence of someone who knew it.
Not that Alicia was worried that her body was worse than Olivia’s. Hardly! It was that she knew it was better. More moisturized. More tanned. More cleavage. And that was the problem. She didn’t want the attention, not when it came to her boobs. And especially not without Massie, who had always been there in the past to fire off a round of protective comebacks on her behalf.
Puuuuuuuuuurpppp. Puuuuuuuuuurpppp.
Three LBRs shed their nubby white towels and tiptoed to the concrete lip of the pool. “Ready?” asked the one in the purple racer-back Speedo.
“Ready,” answered her friends as they pinched their noses and stepped in.
A swell of guy-cheers exploded from the water when they entered.
“Do I look fat?” Strawberry whispered from the side of her mouth.
“No. Do I?” Kori asked.
“Impossible.”
Puuuuuuuuuurpppp. Puuuuuuuuuurpppp.
They joined hands and stood. Strawberry held one out for Alicia, who politely refused it with a subtle headshake.
“One … two … three!” shouted Kori. And the two girls raced into the steamy pool.
Puuuuuuuuuurpppp.
“No running!” shouted Miss Kuznick, who could barely be heard above the echoing screams of the treading pervs.
Aside from Cam and Olivia, who had been granted unofficial permission to dress baby Kate, Alicia and Josh were the only dry ones left. And there was no way Alicia was going to take off her cover-up while he was standing right in front of her. There was only one way out of this.
Puuuuuuuuuurpppp.
She sat up straight and kicked off her black flip-flops.
Josh removed his blue New York Yankees cap.
She placed her conditioner on the floor.
He retied his burgundy-and-blue madras swim trunks.
She stood.
He stood.
She walked toward the pool’s edge.
He followed.
“Take. It. Off!” shouted Kemp. “Take. It. Offffffffff!”
Alicia grinned like a girl with a plan.
Josh snicker-blushed, trapped somewhere between wanting to laugh with his friend and wanting to kill him for harassing his crush.
It was time.
“See ya!” Alicia shoved him, purposely using just enough force to jostle him, but not quite enough to knock him in.
“Hey!” He grabbed her wrists and forced her to the edge.
“Stop it!” she fake-screamed.
Puuuuuuuuurpppp. Puuuuuuuuurpppp. Puuuuuuuuurpppp.
“No pushing!” Miss Kuznick yelled.
But it was too late. Josh threw Alicia into the pool. In her cover-up. Oops!
Like a supermodel in a slow-motion underwater commercial for some new exotic perfume, white cotton parachuted around her while her silky, deep-conditioned hair fanned out in all directions. Once she was on the bottom, the cover-up settled against her body. Tiny victory bubbles escaped from the sides of her mouth, and she imagined Massie and the NPC gazing over the side of the pool, applauding her on a brilliantly executed plan.
The overhead muffled boom of Josh’s cannonball entry shattered the fantasy but not the mood. And Alicia resurfaced beaming, feeling safe, protected, and humiliation-free. She slapped the heavy wet cover-up on the side of the pool, then joined her panting, treading classmates.
Cam finally slipped in the water, mindful not to splash baby Kate, whose arm was in Olivia’s mouth as she slowly lowered herself into the water via the ladder.
Baby Kate burst into hysterics and squirmed to free herself. “Olivia, take her out of your mouth!” Cam shouted as he sidestroked his way to his rubber child’s side.
Olivia released her canine grip and Kate fell into the water.
“You can’t just drop her like that!” Cam shrieked.
“Why?” Olivia dismissed her overprotective baby daddy with an eye-roll. “She’s wearing wings.”
Alicia and Josh treaded and giggled, partly because of Olivia’s cluelessness, but mostly because they were together.
“So spill it,” Strawberry panted. “Why weren’t you sitting with Massie during lunch today? Are you guys fighting?”
“Opposite of yes!” Alicia gasped at the mere implication and accidentally swallowed a gulp of chlorinated water. “It was a total mistake,” she insisted, ignoring Josh’s knowing underwater foot-nudge. “I thought she would be at eighteen and—”
“Is she mad at you?” Kori paddled into their circle. “You know, for ditching her?”
“I didn’t ditch her, it was a—”
Puuuuuuuuuurpppp.
Alicia was grateful for the whistle. The last thing she needed was to get bombarded with questions she herself had been struggling to answer. Besides, she didn’t want to think about Massie right now. Because now she was playing underwater footsie with Josh. And his feet were rea-lllly soft.